Monday, March 14, 2016

Caffeine Laughs

Coffee is a complex thing in our household . I don't drink it . Chase when he started driving ,drinks only ice coffee here and there and the two other kids are too young . Hubby his whole life lived for coffee and has two expensive coffee machines and the best of grinds ; but when he gave up alcohol more than two years ago he also decided to give up caffeinated coffee ( which was a shock to us all )

He now puts de- caffeinated great beans in his machines and lives for that . And sometimes drinks real coffee when at friend's homes or at restaurants or needs a boost to drive late at night .

This has caused major chaos amongst our social network ( even more so than the alcohol if you can believe ! ) nobody can believe we don't drink cofee and coming to our house overnight is a major obstacle  for most!!!
 Many people have asked us if we converted to be Mormon ( other bffs of ours are Mormon and now I have another close colleague who is Mormon and a client who is Mormon so people starting to wonder as I know a lot of Mormons and a lot about them ! ) But nope not -Mormon we swear way too much  and watch too many obscene movies for that plus I think we would need to believe and go to church right ?

So I got empathetic and smart and got some caffeinated coffee in and a cheap machine for these guests. I was proactive and thoughtful right ?

So fast forward two bffs come for a Girls night and day at Trent . We arrive at midnight as long  dinner out and lots of fog . I had emailed them to say " I got coffee for you !! " they were thrilled . They came in door and first thing they did was check out the coffee situation and the machine .

They were not impressed
Let's just say these normally calm polite politically correct sweet woman .. Forgot their usual qualities .

" OMG! WTF is this generic brand of coffee ???? This is horrible ?? How could we drink this ??? This is awful !!!

And I say .. Well look guys there is Nabob coffee too and enough for a glass each ?

 " Nabob ! ?Yuck ! And one glass each ????? That is supposed to get us through the day ? This is a crisis !!"

Well there is a Tim Horton's 5 mins away !

Tim Horton coffee tastes like dishsoap  ! Well maybe that's ok- as better than generic brand !!"

Well look here in back of pantry there is some Dominican Republic expensive grinds !!

" Isn't that two and a half years old from when we went to Punta  Cana !? Coffee has to be fresh !!

Through all of this all three of us are totally cracking up as in cracking up so much all pants were peed . I have known these girls forever and love our closeness honesty and transparency . We have never laughed so hard 
Well maybe only at the resto prior  that evening when they realized I had only milk for their morning coffees and not cream . How dare I ? And depanneurs were closed by then ! How dare they be closed ? So I suggested we take the free creams on the table and ask the waitress for two more. 
Of course knowing they each need 7 for their coffee/!!omg ! Who puts 7 creams in a coffee ????

I am clearly caffeine ignorant !! 

Anyways they went on an on about my coffee  and  I even said I wasn't the one who bought the coffee and was either my mom or hubby and they were in shock . How could any coffee drinker or self loving person buy such crap ? It is just not possible ??? It is impossible actually to buy anything less expensive than van houtte!!

I told them was probably my fault and last few months have been telling my mom when she does errands and groceries for us to save money and buy generic brands of everything . They still held to that it was impossible  that any human being could choose to buy this 

And we laughed and peed our pants some more !!!

I learnt three lessons from this experience :

Always have these kind of friends  in your life where you and they can be totally comfortable and honest at all times without offense ( clearly I have these kinds of friends if I am inviting them back !! )

Never ever become addicted in this way to any substance if you can avoid it . I am so glad we are not and that Hubby  was but was able to give it up . Feels to me like Prison to be so dependant on something and see this craziness come out of these otherwise completely normal women !!!!

 At of course lastly- Never ever buy generic coffee unless you want your friends never to Come back ! Always have an expensive caffeinated non generic  fresh grind on hand for the caffeine addicts !!

And here we thought alcohol was an issue !  Nobody to date seems to give a rat's ass about that one !!!

Love love love these girls and our silly loving comfortable relationship . Our spa day and night was fantastic ( besides the fact that neither of them have caught on that everyone whispers in Nordic baths even though supposed to be silent and who cares if fat old woman stare you down ! ) I may not drink coffee but I do know how to break rules when needed to have some fun!