Thursday, April 14, 2016



I wrote my friend who was in punta Cana with her own 14 yr old daughter a few weeks ago and asked how her trip with her daughter was going ? How were they getting on together ?

Sympatico . We are sympatico she said 

And I felt a little envious for sure . And very inspired . " I want that "I said to myself 

And all day yesterday and all day today as I spend a literal 24/7with my beautiful daughter this word has rolled through my mind like a sweet melody 


Here is where we are sympatico :

Sleep - we both want to go to bed around  11pm and wake up around 9am . She really wants to sleep until 10 am but knows that is a waste of sun 

Food - we both like a lot of the same foods and choose quickly from buffets and we both eat relatively fast . We both love food and every meal we stick right together at the buffet . We like the desserts too 

Coffee - neither of us are coffee drinkers . I am not by choice and beauty is not by age . Until we discovered ..... Iced coffee . Both addicted now ! And to caesar salads with chicken as a snack a couple of times a day 

Being outside : we are both outside people . All day until about7pm . Sit on beach a lot .. Walk a lot .. Eat snacks .. Chill . No rooms and inside activities for us 

Activities : we both like sporty stuff . Besides relaxing . So far circus , sailing , kayak in ocean , walks on beach , Latin dance , Pilates ,. Tomorrow is stand up paddle lesson and golf the next day . Lots more to come . Tennis we will have to scrap as too early morning and way to hot to run on the cement 

Dressing up and pics - we like looking good and we like changing our clothes a lot . We can get ready each in 4 mins from beach to dinner . We tried it today 

Walking - although we love walking we find a 25 mins walk at the end of the day a bit excruciating so
We call a little buggy who drives us around 

Hanging out - we do a lot of it . In sympatico . We are like that riddle " once we are good we are very very good and if we are bad we are horrible "

Reading - I had carefully selected a book for this vacation for me to read aloud each night  to beauty and had quite frankly no clue how this would go . Reading about Sarah and Solomon and the law of attraction is the perfect end to our great days . We both look forward to it ( even if she rolls her eyes and says " are you going to read that dumb book again tonight ? ) I know what she really means-  she loves it 

Being tidy - this may come as a shock to anyone who knows me or sees my suitcase packed but we like a tidy hotel room . So each night before sleep we ensure everything is in perfect order . Beauty is even 10 times tidier than me and more organized ( not hard to beat but still the kid is amazing ) you should see her 4 shelves in the walk in closet here we share !!! We like tidy with no  messy boys 

Genetics - we both keep commenting how beauty has her grandma  genes . She is so pale an delicate skin and as hard as she tries can hardly tan ( and burns even with constant sunscreen . She is tall like my mom and sings all the time like my mom . It's cute when she mentions these things . I think she and Didi also have a dance to uncover that I want to see .In some ways I very kindred spirits and lots of undiscovered similarities that need to be nurtured and accessed 

Chatting : my mom always said and I remember as a kid and teen that when she and I were alone together I would not stop chatting and chatting and chatting . Over the years I could only have hoped for this problem ! Well this week I have it !! ( except for mornings with miss grumpy ) the trick is taking away contact with friends except 2 hrs a day and there you have it . I learn all the cool teen stuff , all new music , here about all girl stuff and who is cool and who is not etc . Chat chat chat !

And what is not in sympatico ? Of course there would be things right ? This is me and beauty we are talking about !! But the answer is nothing to report so far !!! Sympatico all the way . ( except first day here which was not as great and she really was annoying and rude ) .just like her dad and I travel together very well she and I do too !! 

But don't be too fooled . I am practicing a lot of different techniques SK taught me so I am a little emotionally exhausted as it takes self control as this is not the natural me . Beauty made a comment on this trip about me and one of my bffs and said " you are both the teaching type always trying to get a lesson in here and there ! " trust me I am not teaching much this week I am trying to be at my coolest but not sure I can maintain this in real life where there are actual demands and decisions to be made !!!

This week is truly giving me practice at being tolerant and patient and present . Learning to dance differently and almost really learn a new language  with her for real . I honestly think it would be just as hard as learning Chinese 

I have watched so many dances this week ( with her seat smiling face performing / I have reasoned with her a million times not to wear shorts so short that the pockets show from the outside in / I have learned to DAB and I have to learn all weird lyrics to songs . I am her companion as she has not uttered a word to another soul and more have I . We are happy together . I am her playmate and for a teen who usually loves her alone time she is not even content to give me 30 mins a night to text on my own and wants to show me yet another dance and chat and talk some more 

We even had a big sex talk in the hottub with some pretty embarrassing questions about my own life !!!! I was of course happy to answer and share with her as very bonding 

Good night my darling girl ( she is asleep so now I can blog :)

Kinda feels like I lost her for a couple of years and am getting my second chance at winning her back . From simple steps of empathy , patience and ignoring power struggles . Going back to the basics really ... And kinda feels like she is a little kid under that utterly gorgeous female exterior that has been Turing heads and looks more like 23 than 14 yrs old 

But underneath it all she is just a little kid .. Trying to figure it all out . Just like the rest of us 

Her facade this week has been set aside and I am getting a glimpse back into her heart that will hopefully set us on the path back to the lifetime closeness   we both need and deserve 

A piece of my heart will always remember punta Cana . Thank you my protector for suggesting this .