Sunday, April 17, 2016

We don't want to go home!!!!!

Do you know what were my favorite moments of this mother - daughter trip where ?

 Absolutely Everything .

And so little had to do with the actual resort ( which was very nice don't get me wrong ) . What made this time magical was being the two of us . Getting along so well and 24/7 together 

Some things to  always remember :

There is a little bed and a big bed in room . She never slept on little one but with me in big one everynight 

How even in her sexy bathing suits and short shorts she still wears these little girl plastic colourful sunglasses that remind me she is 14 yrs old 

Seeing Jackson Avery from greys on the beach and him paying attention to us:))

The way beauty's face would go beet red each time a waiter would joke with her 

Our buggy rides after the show and our totally Drunk buggy driver who was crazy 

The teen talent show . Was so bad it was a comedy !!!
The little kid talent show was sooooo cute !!!

The desserts are phenomenal ( and I am not a dessert  person at all and neither is meh meh )

Closing the blinds at night ( well trying too )

Reading Sarah and Solomon and waiting for something to actually happen 

The messed up blotchy arm spray tan !!!!

All the jokes I played on her :
Beauty there is blood on your bathing suit !!
Let's take a picture in front of this cleaning cart !
Yes your face is dirty !!

Beauty trying and trying  to tan 

The photo shoot with beauty biting my ear and actually choosing that as our fave !!!

Many many outfits 

Beauty's nightmares all about wanting to take off her brace and crying in her sleep :(  not fave moment but very telling for me of what she has had and still endures )

Watching dances , learning dances , hearing songs , learning songs 

Marco Polo and handstands in the pool 

Seaweed and dead fish in ocean and beauty wanting me to carry her in my arms  all the time in the sea

Mommy I am just joking !!!

The beads at the exit to the resto 

The non existent bridge at the pool 
The wobbly tables 

The towel lady asking for our towel card which we were never able to produce and giving a mean look and then smiling 

Frosted coffees and cesear salads !

Nachos veggies and olives at 12:30

The hottest tennis lesson of the century 

Stand up paddle and actually being able to do this on waves 

Circus and catches !!

Hip hop with amazing black guy dancer !

One good chocolate on our pillow
One night

Expensive candies at the boutique 

Me taking pics of pics and getting in lots of trouble at photo shop !!

Our jacuzzi games of flat face and round and round hide and seek 

Realizing my daughter is way shyer than I ever imagined !!! And much more child like than her facade exterior !!!

Her depending on me 
Her being affectionate with me 
Her needing me 
Her letting me nurture her 

Me being able to keep my cool !!!
Not having one fight ( when she tried I just totally ignored her )

Sleepy her and her grumpiness  early morning and late at night ( not pleasant but can be slightly adorable )

The fact that I can count on one hand how many times either of us spoke to anyone else on resort besides staff . We were just together and that totally astonished me 

The fact that I don't seem to care about work at all . Things are changing and getting cancelled left right and centre and I have barely even looked at my agenda . I am in a different space this trip . I am hers .

I am fairly obsessed with meringue desserts with strawberry coulis at this point . Thank goodness I have only discovered these the last few days of the trip .

Buffet jumping 

I also don't know how I will not have an iced coffee daily ( but at least I will fit in now and be a coffee drinker sometimes !!)

Our phot shoot was the best !!! We look so good together 

I love the books I brought 

I like our technology hour on the beach at 5:30-7pm 

Beauty begging me to ask dr Avery for a photo with her on the beach . And then asking me to ask him if he could kindly take both his sunglasses and his shirt off for the pic !!!

Asking me a thousand times a day if her face is dirty

Following me everywhere including chips towels drinks and always wanting to me together 

I like texting my hubby and my bffs back home 

Feeling all week that there was nothing more important than her 
In that moment 
Building the foundation for a lifetime of hope and happiness
Putting love into action 
Being present 
My laser focus was her .

This trip made me realize something very important I had nearly forgotten - which is that she is still her - she is still inside that  cool rough demenor with a gentle heart . Some kids have a tougher time going through the turbulent teen times and she will be one of them . Her weapon of choice is alienating the ones she loves in order to grow up and launch herself . Sabotaging great moments in order to grow up into who she will become independently of her family . Both boys stay Close as teens where she seems to have a strong need to be apart in many ways . 
I had always assumed was harder for girls growing up her were less popular and less confident , but I have realized that the popular girls also have their share of pressure trying to be cool all the time and taking the lead and often feeling responsible for the over all well being of the cliques .It's not easy being a teen girl either way 

Our job as people who love her is to patiently stand by and remind her to come back to us in a loving gentle way . To bring her home 

The voice of an angel is what my daughter needs ( and unfortunately for her my voice is not very angel like !!! )

 very simply ... Love my little meh meh and punta Cana has been a great place for this affection between us to flow back up to the surface well within our reach 

And for our deliberate hands and heart to grasp on ... And not let go 

I know real life is right around the corner tomorrow and I am well aware of how abruptly the vacation will end faster than I can count . But I feel like she and I got what we wanted and needed here and from each other  ... And that was a simple glimpse  Into what was and what could be and what will be .

And even that glimpse was enough for me to keep on going and to do my very best to have something even remotely resembling a voice of an angel . For her . Because of her . ... I need to Adapt and connect in a very different way 

I need to bring this vacation home with me