Thursday, May 19, 2016

Launching him



( I wrote this weeks ago but Chase has been annoying me a little lately so did not post it! Seeing that this is his last week of exams and he has impressed me yesterday by saying “I love school” it is time to post!)



It really occurred to me this week that my son is an adult when the doctor called and left a message that he has an apt on Tuesday and that he needs to fast for 24 hrs and abstain from alcohol for 72 hrs for the blood tests.
What's next a prostate exam? Hubby joked.

Then realized even more how his life is his life now when later I gave the message and Chase said “I can't abstain from alcohol
For 72 hrs there is a huge party Saturday night and my buddy rented a condo downtown for his birthday and we are all staying there! " 
(And I thought we were all together at the cottage Saturday night playing monopoly and eating bonbons)

Your problem buddy! Figure it out with your doctor 

Our son is growing up. And not just in this more annoying alcohol part related expected ways.... He is launching himself into life.

The other day I got an email and it said " xyz is inviting you to accept him as a contact on LinkedIn” and that person was our son!!! His dad and I got it at the same time.

As I read his profile which I did not even know he had ... I am not kidding that tears of joy started streaming down my face. I saw everything we have worked so hard for since the moment he was born in that profile. All the values all the hard work -all the nagging and the discipline and coaching and pushing. There is was in his LinkedIn profile.

I don't care how success is defined. I don't care what marks he gets in university or what career he chooses. All the success I needed to see from him was right there in front of me.

I was speaking to one of my bffs last month about a blog post she wrote about her own eldest son ( she has an older step son too ) and the blog " my non swearing son " she and I have worked tirelessly  on deliberate parenting and very often share the ups and downs of our efforts . What I realized in this discussion was how our parenting is paying off ! Finally!! I saw so much of her parenting and her values in her son and this blog post. As she tells me more and more about him and their conversations and the direction he wants to go in beyond this blog ... I see her brand all the way 
Same on my eldest son, as I read that LinkedIn profile I saw myself written all over it 

What an amazing feeling!!!!!! (Gosh I know so narcissistic but a great feeling to know something you have said has been heard over 18.5 yrs!!)

I love watching his launching process. Something big had happened to our son in this first year of cegep - he is becoming an adult and becoming his own unique person. He decided a few weeks ago that he is super interested in event planning and connected with a dozen people over a week to networks about this. Really? Chase? Seriously he did this?
Four days later the phone rings ( on our way up to a sacred family weekend to the cottage of course ) and he was asked to mc a big DJ event at that same even in honour of the a big fundraising event for the Children’s Wish Foundation . He gave us a big speech about how that we had to turn right around and drive him back home as his whole life we have been teaching him to network and create opportunities and take risks and put himself out of his comfort zone and now he had the opportunity.. And that we had better support him!!!

And so we did. 5 hrs of driving them afternoon. And our son with zero experience stood up in front of 500 people to introduce the 12  Djs for a great cause.

And then this week he told me that he contacted all 12 of the Djs “to expand his network" (good thing since so far only has mom and dad as contacts on LinkedIn! ) and wrote them each a personal email
on their particular performance at the event and asked them to keep him in mind for future events. And with one two hours they had all written back to connect 

And I almost had a heart attack of joy for real right there on the kitchen 

Then I had a gorgeous younger colleague here this week one evening to facilitate part 2 of our family vision building exercise and at the end Chase ask her to speak in private. I was so so so so scared he was going to ask her for her number!!!!! But he instead asked her about life coaching for him. On his own. Without me there. He did this !!!!!!!!! (Another blog most on our part 2 sessions later this weekend)

Anyways there are definite cons to having a kids this age ( many many many ) and it is damn hard many days of the week . The lifestyle, the parties, the attitude, the impulsivity, the attitude (oh I said that already?)

But nothing could ever replace how much I adore having the privilege and honour of watching this kid grow up right before my eyes. It is the most beautiful process on watch besides the miracle of birth. Really and truly.

And yesterday he says to be in the car (him driving of course! )“Mom I don't think going away to university is for me ... 3 yrs. is too long to be away from home. And I don't want to be tempted to party all week long. Weekends are good enough for me. During the week I want to eat well and healthy and work out at the gym and study during the weekdays and keep my focus. And besides I would die eating Kraft dinner all year. I need salmon to gain weight and can't afford it! Home is good for me” 

We shall see where this little peppercorn firecracker goes (my dad used to call me that when he was impressed with my enthusiasm and drive for life :)))
The world is ahead and I can't wait to see him explore it. Fall on his face a million times and pick him back up and keep going. 

What a privilege to be a parent. Nothing else I have ever done in my life remotely compares to this fulfillment. Watching the outcomes of the most important work of my life coming to fruition in its own unique and beautiful way.

I am so grateful (today)