Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Quality over Quantity

This is a theme in my life lately . I think before now my mindset was abundance on many ways . Quality too ... But primarily abundance .

As much family time as we could fit it .... As many work contracts as possible .... Lots of social plans and events to look forward too .... A closet full of clothes and purses . 

I used to see more friends-plan more things. Keep up. I can assure you that in my visit next week with one of my faraway cherished friends we will pack in more gems in two hours than we could of in 2 hrs a day. It's called power connecting and you should try it! (ps there is sometimes even pre and post work involved so not for everyone!)

Now I find myself in a new place . With the three kids  work and school and summer schedules it is not possible that we spend most weekends at the cottage together anymore . Often we are alone - or with one - or with two and exceptionally with all three .
 Our boat named years ago" five at sea " we now refer to as " five at sea -minus three " 

In work too . I used to work in the corporate role leading people and projects and my area of expertise . I had a lot of flexibility and authority and autonomy but still did what I was told in a lot of ways . Now each day is a blank slate . I choose . Or I don't choose . I chose the contracts that I have time for and interest me it that bring in the money . For now I have been fortunate that I have had a lot of choices ... It's time to narrow them down and get more selective .

When you intend to make a big impact you really have to carefully choose with your heart and head . Abundance is easy for me - impact takes a lot of power and hard work .

I see the moments now we spend with our children as precious . I try to handle them as such and in ways I think the kids so too . It is easier to
Convince them to hang out with us and be full present . It is easier to get their phones away and out of sight for the evening . I think they understand too how precious and fleeting this time is together . I have seen them Mature through absence .

I see when I am with the kids on a more daily basis they annoy me more - I am more irritable with them . I am less likely the abundance and more the special times we all carve out whether that be one two or three kids . At this point we take what we can get .

We have had some rare precious times lately and less in between moments . We drive back and forth from cottage to be with our kids for 4 hrs . We wake up before the sun to drive them to their jobs . We escape sometimes from the daily grind and come alone to the cottage to get away from the chaos  and escape. We do it all differently . We are less abundant .

We spend a lot of time away from eachother as a couple now too. I travel a lot for work and even spend more time alone at the cottage by the lake working and creating . He is taking his pilot license and preparing to trek the machu pichu and sings on a well known choir with an orchestra besides his busy career .  We hang on more and do less of the daily . When we have the chance to be together it is more special . It is cherished .... Until something happens and it is not anymore . the ebbs and flow of life I guess.

Life is moving at a very fast and furious speed . 
I am losing control on so many ways and am more grounded in  myself on so many others .

Grey and ambiguity is not just something to get good at anymore - it has become my life . And I manage and even the rare time embrace the unknown .

Happiness and family and work have had to be redefined as  well as who we are as parents - as a couple and as people .
Middle age is no walk on the park . Neither is having three teenagers . Neither is both of  you running your own own full time businesses . Neither is pain and sickness and sadness

Our blessings have always been abundant and continue to be . Our struggles are plenty too .

This is what makes up a life 
I am personally All In