I write on this blog so less often than I used to for so many years but I am so glad at least every few weeks I do a blog or two for the sole purpose of remembering what was going on in our lives in those moments .
One day related to my career and business I will go back to my more philosophical blogs about life and parenting and work life integration etc but for now this blog has morphed into mostly recording keeping and I am fine with that for now
Overriding everyone and everything since october has been my work . Huge amounts of it and constantly steady . Massive last minute contracts and deadlines and new adventures . It has always been plentiful but the last few months are a record setter I think for me . It has left me with very little else besides work and this is the first time in my life that I have chosen that . Now - I did take a 10 day adventure kayaking and also a two week vacation on the beach amongst those months so in eality I am just making up those hours and weeks. It's just a different way of working to be an entrepreneur and a very different way of experiencing time .
I have loved it in many ways and I have finally found my true passion in work and am heading more and more on the direction of making it more and more part of my work . I have always had careers I adore and excel at . Now it's even more - and I have passion . One day soon not to far off this will be my life and my heart and soul I would estimate .
Yet I hate when work robs me of those precious moments of being present . I hate when it makes me get up at the crack of dawn when I could cuddle instead with my hubby . And I especially hate wasting any moment of any weekend on work . I had to break my rule and do that a couple of times and I resented it .
I see life as a series of sprints and certainly not a marathon . Sprint . Recover . Sprint . Recover .
Been sprinting a lot lately !
And my next book ? I am halfway through now . I can't wait for this next wave of my life
The kids ? The are amazing . Like truly amazing . And we share overall such a happy life together . The boys are so so so committed to their studies and lives and almost to the point of compulsively ! Beauty has such a crazy busy schedule with hip hop competition and solo lyrical contemporary competition and being a ski instructor for pre competition group and earning her drivers licence that she leads a life of her own . And has also managed to increase her average by 10 percent last semester and that is huge !!!!!
Each of the kids has a holiday job they have started since exams over and beauty who is not finished school for another week is employee all winter at the ski hill and daily for the holidays . I feel so proud of them
And we have a blast together . In the week we " co exist" and get together for some dinners but on the weekends we always make it a priority to spend some quality time together . We spend way more of that time with beauty now the three of us and we cherish it at that cottage
I take the kids out for spontaneous lunches and we have laughter and love
For sure some conflict here and there and they can annoy me but I can't say that I dons it that hard having older kids . It mostly just a pleasure
People ask me all the time " doesn't living with a 16, 18 and 20 yr old drive you bananas ?!! "
Sometimes yes . Mostly no
In discussions with other parents I think what my differentiates me is that I largely just let them coexist with us at this age . I don't have super extenous demands or expectations . We raised them well and trust them . They make all kinds of decisions I may not make myself necessarily and other ones I truly admire but I am there to coach them vs judge then
They barely ask me if a friend comes to dinner as they know they are welcome . They manage their lives with some boundaries and rules but by this age very few and far between . They had so many rules as younger kids that they know them by heart and respect a good part of them
Beauty needs more of course at 16 but she is just generally respectful of our house rules although can super disrespectful of humans ( us ! ) many times which is always a work in progress
And I am not a big judge of how our kids live their lives . Neither is Hibby . We both admire and love and encourage their diversity and choices ( most of the time anyways ) and just play devils advocate and challenge them to think differently when we don't ( most of the time )
And every once in awhile totally lose it on them and also make them sit down for big talks as we talk some sense into them ! Or try to anyways !
In speaking with a colleague the other day with kids same age who live at home and do drive her bananas we realized that her values and beliefs about how her kids should be at this age are much stronger than mine . ( hers are 20 and 18 ) She has a certain Vision of how it should be right now and it isn't that way . And she really cares about the tidiness of her home and that causes massive fights . And she doesn't like when they roll their eyes or back talk or say what she says is stupid and swears . All basket c for me at this age . I ignore it and move on .
Her baskets and mine are different ( as they should be ) . In the taxi the other day we compared baskets and it was fun ( in case you are wondering baskets is what I am know for largely on my career in managing priorities )
So basically at this stage of my life I choose not to be driven bananas where believe me it was at the top of my list for many many years . I was a control freak and I am so much less now in some ways anyways and one of those areas happens to me my kids
I think each one of them is brilliant , wonderful , kind and smarty and amazing .
But and big but they are all going to school and not into drugs . If either of those were different may be a whole different ballgame !!
Man I have tried to be like this forever . Finally I have arrived
And hubby ? We are in a good place and can't wait to spend time on holidays together as we have sadly been only co existing a lot too lately
Due to my workload he has Taken on a lot more on the Homefront lately ( another post ) and this is a Weird shift for us
We have a lot to figure out about home and work and we are both ready for the challenge of it all . Things are changing and sometimes too quickly . We are happy on the holidays to have time to figure it all out .
We had committed to 21 yrs ago changing financial positions in our career when I was 45 as we have 12 yrs difference in age and that time arrived a year ago and we are sticking to the plan . This is a big adjustment for me and I have to find a way to fully integrate it into my life and make it successful and work for us
I am so excited mostly though
A few things not to forget :
My mom is still so unwell - but her coping skills getting better and better by the day which is all I can hope for
Bear is on accutane 10 weeks now and has been so damn hard for him . Little improvement but we all have high hopes . Although yesterday I saw a difference . Cross fingers keeps going !
Planterra and mr boxer
Great hip hop show by beauty
Vaness and Carroll at the cottage and the mattress in the basement ( need I say more ? )
After pretty much working for 19 days straight about 16 hrs a day ( with maybe two days off for weekend days in there ) I decided I needed a day off
Me and two bffs headed to Trent late in a Thursday night ( got here 11:40pm ) and then spent the whole next day in pyjamas and sitting by fire chatting and catching up . We ventured outside to jacuzzi in the snow which was a little tad chilly for SK given that she had to keep her new boobs out of water ! We wrapped a blanket around her shoulders but she was freezing and headed in earlier while CW and I keep chatting
I love my girl getaways at Trent . Often I do with one of my besties , often two , sometimes a work colleague as a work offsite , sometimes with my mom . It’s just always so damn special and fun
After they left I had 4 hrs to myself and that has been so rare for me that I didn’t know what to do with myself ! I quickly figured it out and chatted on phone with my mom and then plopped on couch to watch back to back episodes of switched at birth . Beauty and Hubby arrived past midnight ( yes we are crazy but we always have let our kids have their plans on Friday nights and we leave late . Sometimes we arrive at 1am ! )
It’s beginning to look like Christmas as there is plenty of snow , presents and plans have been bought and made and mostly I am back to normal in final week of work but it is a normal busy one and not a crazy one . Yahoo!
And also another December event is that I hosted an office party at our shared office and was so beautiful . The three main collègues and their partners that I subcontact work to . Also one of their moms who also did work for me and my mom and our family .
Almost didn’t make it myself as the how et as big snowstorm and was downtown Late for the big program I held for the President and his team of vps at one of my Pharma clients . Got there just in time and was very lucky to have had hubby and chase set all up for me . All looked so pretty and festive
We ordered in a big Lebanese feast ( yummy and easy ! ) and had cupcakes for dessert . Wine and drinks and everyone had such a good time . I have little speeches of appreciation for all . I also had a great forum to publicly recognize my mom as I have always wanted to do that . Her life is daily so hard and i wanted to express how much I admire her . Of course we all cried !!
Chase got up and said some words about me and my work which was adorable . He talked about how he thought I was the coolest mom in the world and wanting to take over my company one day . He talked about how it was having a dual career family and of what he admired in me . He talked about how none of his friends for his whole life “ ever said I was a bitch “ and that it was so rare for male friends to think the moms are cool and want them around and how I treated them all like my best guests with no invitations needed . I was so in shock and happy
And then Bear ... so sweet again about my career and how he has learned so much from me and how I have helped him with jobs and resumes to the point that now he needs no help and gets stuff all on his own . How I have influenced him and his life and decisions and how it has been for him with a mom who “ has the busiest career of anyone he knows “ Felt amazing to feel that validation and appreciation
And then Beauty with her simple and heartfelt “ I love you “ with a hug . I will take that anyday !
Felt like an amazing way to end 2017 with my two worlds of home and life colliding into a beautiful space . I am so happy that I have such an amazing team and feel so grateful to have built this all from scratch . I end 2017 from a professional standpoint of deep pride and satisfaction
This blog is totally disjointed but since it’s a record of my life now I truly don’t care lol !
Kids all were here at cottage Saturday Night and Sunday and man was it loud ! Has been 8 weeks only beauty ( and a couple of them beauty and bear or beauty and chase ) but all of them together ? Loud !!! And fun !!
We made a super nice dinner and lay all by the fire after laughing and teasing and the boys as always debating and Wrestling ( and yes they are going to be 18 and 20 ! ) we watched stranger things until 2am with a few of us nodding off of course but was so cool to get caught up on our family show . We had sugar pie at midnight too
Today big yummy lunch and everyone got up late and then skating this afternoon and family jacuzzi and card game and moules and frites for dinner . Packing it all in since holidays only have them all up here max 2 days if lucky with all their jobs
Tonight chase has 3 new friends coming up for two days and is kicking us out as of 9pm ! (this was all written Sunday)