Stowe in Pictures 2016

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The boys trying to hide their little sister in her new bathingsuit

didn't work!

Sound of Music Trapp Lodge. this is a fave pic of my kids as they look so happy:))

Ben and Jerry tacky tour!

Mom and Dad being super tacky!!

Love Bears Laugh!!!!

With teens you can get away with some really silly gross (fake) pics!!! lol!!! 

My ski bunny

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Ski Day in Stowe (right before my big fall that has left me black and blue!!!)

Nourishing our Souls

I choose this title because lately I have been so busy that I am having a hard time nourishing the tummies of the family ( aka empty fridge and TV dinners a lot last couple of weeks for lack of time )

So although I know how important the nourishment of the souls is I was feeling it drop lower  and lower on the to do list lately 

I had planned this amazing 6 hr training session for our family months again to take place on two parts . Last night was part 1.

One of the team and leadership program I deliver on my work in companies called DYNAMIX I wanted to bring home .

So I asked one of the our new collegues who just began her career with Peak if she would be interested  in doing this with our family ( normally done with corporate teams )

This was a big time investment as we all have lengthily surveys to complete to produce the 38 page individual profiles . My mom was part of this too as such a part of our everyday family .

We all did it and the session took place last night from 6-9pm . Prior , everyone was so aggravated with me as in exams and sports competitions and driving courses and work deadlines etc  and they could not believe I was forcing this onto our already packed schedule. But is there ever a good time to take time out ? At a certain point you just have to forget all the fluff ( like the studying and sports ) that really in the end aren't go to make a difference in life and nourish the family as a whole .

And so we did . All the kids faces at the beginning were so reluctant and resisting I was scared !!

But my collegue blew it away and did an amazing job of adapting and connecting with each family member .by the time they received their own personalized  38  page profile they were begging to see it !

And they were so interactive and curious and engaged . They were also super interested  in the results of the other family members  as we are all so differnt and complimentary and so cool to see those differences spelled out  in black and white in this way . I learnt so much that evening about a family I thought I knew so well !

This is by far the best tool I have every seen and I have literary seen hundreds in my career .I felt so proud that this tool I often deliver in companies is so  incredible . 

We stopped mid way for pizza and cookies and then quickly right back to work .

The session wrapped up with the very best part where the leader has each family member recognize eachother for the unique  role they play within the family . This was truly one of the best 15 mins I have ever experienced in our family team . Hearing so articulately what they see about their fellow  family member in a way that the instructor led so beautifully  was so heart warming and empowering 

And I will never forget what each family member said about me as their mom ( as through the session they complained a lot about me but in conclusion at the end  they for some reason worshiped me ! )

Made the whole parenting journey worth it for me . The recognition felt amazing and powerful for all of us . To hear the children express themselves that way was such a gift 

Samantha will come  back for part 2 which is building our family vision for another three hrs in a few weeks and now the kids are eager and excited .was also cool for them to get a glimpse into what their mom does for work 

Was truly inspirational for all and I would highly recommend that if a family can do this and make it happen financially  and time wise .. It might be one of the best investments you ever make in a lifetime 

Since that evening I have considered going more on the family side in addition to my corporate work . I don't think it is possible to have an evening like this in your own family and not feel like you want every family to experience it !!

We chose to nourish our souls last night And it was worth every moment of TV dinner and takeout . Was worth the sports coaches getting mad and the teachers demanding more .Was worth the dirty kitchen and the unfinished work 

I gave my family a gift list night that none of us will ever forget . I am proud I made that time to claim what is rightfully ours as a family.

The Utmost Respect

The. Utmost respect

As I have written about so often on this blog i am completely in love and in awe with the highschool that all three kids attended or currently attend.

To me it was the absolute  biggest deal to get them intot his school which is very tough to get into . It was worth every single hour of prepartion. Nagging, communicating, strategizing and obsessing.
When i wrote that text " he got in!!! " those who knew and understood me well , fully got how big this really was.

So many people i know right now are in the middle of univeristy applications and acceptances as many kids the age of Chase, our eldest son , or slightly older. And the university choice and decision seems to be as big as it was for us getting our kids into this particular highschool. As for us I am surprised that we don't seem to care as much about which university in particular and this laid back attitude takes me by surprise. I started wondering why this is?

I realized the other night when we attended the parent teacher meetings of Bear and Beauty exactly why this is. For us : the quality of the education ans supervison in highschool mattered the most . More than primary amd more than cegep or university. For us they are the most important formative years and we feel that this education has given them or will give them the confidence, autonomy, strategy and experience to make the decisons that are right for them in their higher educations


I feel that this school empowers them and creates confidence . These two attributes are what ultimately in our family we seek for our children. I feel that by the time they make the university choices they will have had this strong and powerful foundation to do what is best for them. They will know.

As I watched my daughter interact with her teachers I was blown away . Truly . By the quality of teachers. By their devotion, their savvy with teens and  their coolness. The respect they commanded and earned. I was blown away by how they knew our daughter so so so well and related to her in exactly the way that would motivated her . This school has the reputation of big classes( 38 per grade ) i am here to tell you that they also have the provem track record of phenomenal teachers who can handle it. I have heard their teachers are highly paid .. And it shows!


Watching our daughter in these interactions was truly beautiful. She is not an easy teen but her teachers clearly bring out the best in her. Whether she failed a test or got 100 percent on one they were there bulding her confidence up and working with her. It was amazing to sit back and watch her in these almost magical interactions. At times i had to hold back tears is how special it was

And then she saw the  elderly janitor in the hall and screamed out his name in sheer joy and he had a huge smile across his face . He said her name and said how happy he was to see her . She asked if he had tics tacs to share with her and he said " of course !!! " i loved this interaction and will stay embedded in my mind forever . She is adored and adoring

My husband and I since have commented that neither of us ever had these types of quality interactions with teachers and personnel in high school. Maybe with a chosen  few favourites but not in this way with all surrounding us . What a cool motivating environment . We were jealous !!

Most would perceive us as parents very concerned with acedemics and high education and our kids getting good jobs and secure futures. Yet in reality we are not as concerned as many would think . We are concerned with the journey to ge there and highschool for that was where we felt needed to nuture our kids the most . We will expect all of our kids to go to univerity and pray they do, but what their futures hold belongs to them. Happiness and fulfillment are  what we want for our kids . In whatever they do and choose to do. We don't have many expectations in terms of particular careers or futures for our kids .
All we really care about is family sunday night dinners and them living close so we can help raise their kids !!!

Empowerment, self confidence , courage, the ability to make good choices for themselves however this looks

The school our kids went or go to is gold in my mind . It is a combination of all the Queen's, Harvard's, And Mcgills . There is not an element I would change ( except the too short skirts! ) or an element  I would want more of.

This school takes the kids journeys to a place where they are empowered to take up the rest of those journeys themselves and make wise decisions themselves that will hopefully bring them happiness and fulfillment . This building shelters them during the turbulent storms of adolescence which is the most i could ever hope for

Going to these parent teacher meetings is truly an honour and privilege that i will not be forgetting anytime soon. If my husband chooses to trek in Peru in october to raise funds for this school to send kids who cannot afford it i will be proud of this amazing cause

Caffeine Laughs

Coffee is a complex thing in our household . I don't drink it . Chase when he started driving ,drinks only ice coffee here and there and the two other kids are too young . Hubby his whole life lived for coffee and has two expensive coffee machines and the best of grinds ; but when he gave up alcohol more than two years ago he also decided to give up caffeinated coffee ( which was a shock to us all )

He now puts de- caffeinated great beans in his machines and lives for that . And sometimes drinks real coffee when at friend's homes or at restaurants or needs a boost to drive late at night .

This has caused major chaos amongst our social network ( even more so than the alcohol if you can believe ! ) nobody can believe we don't drink cofee and coming to our house overnight is a major obstacle  for most!!!

 Many people have asked us if we converted to be Mormon ( other bffs of ours are Mormon and now I have another close colleague who is Mormon and a client who is Mormon so people starting to wonder as I know a lot of Mormons and a lot about them ! ) But nope not -Mormon we swear way too much  and watch too many obscene movies for that plus I think we would need to believe and go to church right ?

So I got empathetic and smart and got some caffeinated coffee in and a cheap machine for these guests. I was proactive and thoughtful right ?

So fast forward two bffs come for a Girls night and day at Trent . We arrive at midnight as long  dinner out and lots of fog . I had emailed them to say " I got coffee for you !! " they were thrilled . They came in door and first thing they did was check out the coffee situation and the machine .

They were not impressed

Let's just say these normally calm polite politically correct sweet woman .. Forgot their usual qualities .

" OMG! WTF is this generic brand of coffee ???? This is horrible ?? How could we drink this ??? This is awful !!!

And I say .. Well look guys there is Nabob coffee too and enough for a glass each ?

 " Nabob ! ?Yuck ! And one glass each ????? That is supposed to get us through the day ? This is a crisis !!"

Well there is a Tim Horton's 5 mins away !

Tim Horton coffee tastes like dishsoap  ! Well maybe that's ok- as better than generic brand !!"

Well look here in back of pantry there is some Dominican Republic expensive grinds !!

" Isn't that two and a half years old from when we went to Punta  Cana !? Coffee has to be fresh !!

Through all of this all three of us are totally cracking up as in cracking up so much all pants were peed . I have known these girls forever and love our closeness honesty and transparency . We have never laughed so hard 

Well maybe only at the resto prior  that evening when they realized I had only milk for their morning coffees and not cream . How dare I ? And depanneurs were closed by then ! How dare they be closed ? So I suggested we take the free creams on the table and ask the waitress for two more. 

Of course knowing they each need 7 for their coffee/!!omg ! Who puts 7 creams in a coffee ????

I am clearly caffeine ignorant !! 

Anyways they went on an on about my coffee  and  I even said I wasn't the one who bought the coffee and was either my mom or hubby and they were in shock . How could any coffee drinker or self loving person buy such crap ? It is just not possible ??? It is impossible actually to buy anything less expensive than van houtte!!

I told them was probably my fault and last few months have been telling my mom when she does errands and groceries for us to save money and buy generic brands of everything . They still held to that it was impossible  that any human being could choose to buy this 

And we laughed and peed our pants some more !!!

I learnt three lessons from this experience :

Always have these kind of friends  in your life where you and they can be totally comfortable and honest at all times without offense ( clearly I have these kinds of friends if I am inviting them back !! )

Never ever become addicted in this way to any substance if you can avoid it . I am so glad we are not and that Hubby  was but was able to give it up . Feels to me like Prison to be so dependant on something and see this craziness come out of these otherwise completely normal women !!!!

 At of course lastly- Never ever buy generic coffee unless you want your friends never to Come back ! Always have an expensive caffeinated non generic  fresh grind on hand for the caffeine addicts !!

And here we thought alcohol was an issue !  Nobody to date seems to give a rat's ass about that one !!!

Love love love these girls and our silly loving comfortable relationship . Our spa day and night was fantastic ( besides the fact that neither of them have caught on that everyone whispers in Nordic baths even though supposed to be silent and who cares if fat old woman stare you down ! ) I may not drink coffee but I do know how to break rules when needed to have some fun!

Getting Our Act Together

There are a few things in my life that no matter how I try and try to put them on my to do list and goals list they  just never seem to happen and if they do - don't last long .

Two of them it seems are happening now 

Not because I am getting more disciplined with good habits but bc I am being forced into it !  And I am starting to think this may be good for me .

1- as any of my committed blog readers know when it comes to domestic home stuff ( cooking , cleaning , being tidy in house , etc )I just can't seem to get my act together. 

Now I do have a few excuses: we do have two homes to take care , my expections of myself are super high, although I am super organized with planning and systems etc not so much with house stuff 

I fall really short on the domesticity level . Let's just say it would not be easy to arrange a marriage for me if I was Indian .

Well this next month my mom who we pay to help out two afternoon twice a month is not well and so not working . So I am taking over and it is hard ! But necessary! And will force me to get better at this stuff . And this time when she is back I am promising myself not to go back to my old bad habits .

We had a family meeting in jacuzzi last night and mapped it all out for the kids and what we would need and expect from them . Whole new life around here and now all will be doing their own laundry ( only one kid has until now ) and oldest kid will be grocery shopping every alternate week .

2 - I have always wanted to spend more alone time with each kid and rarely happens over the years except for a lunch here and there .

Well now It naturally happens as we often have two cars to cottage as son comes later on weekend so I drive home with him alone . Also boys are ski instructors and beauty being certified to be one  so she has Sundays off  .Hubby and I hang out with just her a lot more often and go skiing and skating . Bear starts driving lessons next week so will be lots of alone time in car for a year y his side on learners permit 

It is all just naturally figuring itself out as they get older and we are adjusting and enjoying them one by one in many ways 

So there we go . Baptized by fire !

Now if only the item if " think about a dog , consider a dog,borrow a dog , get a dog"

Could make it from my to do list into reality would be all

Set !

The fact I can't even seem to make time to think about a dog is making it pretty clear to  us all we are not getting one anytime soon !!!

Forced

Ps I am fully aware that there are often punctuation or grammatical mistakes on my blog entries . Usually i am posting on a phone or ipad and very hard to fully edit vs when kn my computer . Also its a conscious choice as if i have to put too much effort into the editing i know myself and would not have the time and would give up the writing of the blog. It's one of those don't let good be the enemy of great things to me- but I am sure it is super annoying !!! Trust me when I write professionally I am error free .

Now to the blog...

A lot what I do that involves being active ( excercise , errands , chores ) I have to force myself . I do them all  and can even be fairly good at them but takes me a lot to get myself to do them .
Mental agility however is  usually a piece of cake for me and I look forward to it .


This week is March break . No breakfast making for kids , no driving , no early mornings . It is taking all of our willpower to get up early anyways  before work and get out to the door for monkey bar gym for cross fit class . But we did it !

I realized this morning how sharing an activity with a teen vs talking with them is so much more productive and fun . Beauty since no school asked to come to
The class with us . We watched her in awe . She made it look so so so easy .50 burpies to her is like asking her to eat an apple .
She has not lifted weights in her life and went up 55 lbs ( on each arm) for
Suitcase squats right away .
She does pull-ups push-ups and anything the instructor asked her  to right away  with zero difficulty He said that she is what they call in cross fit super super fit and agile

I asked instructor how old he thought she was ?

20 yrs old ??

Nope just turned 14 !!! I was just relieved  he did not ask for her number !

All that to say was so fun to share this active experience together and for us to see her in action and for her to see her parents in action . We showed off a bit for her too and at end she said she noticed  and that and that we should always bring her along for a better workout :)
Love that girl . Lately new sides coming out of her and new dimensions to
Our relationship .

In the next month any help we had around house is suspended for a variety of reasons . Part of me is very very scared and part of me is up to the challenge of getting active with the family and getting Systems in place to step it up and integrate all these added domestic challenges . Again active as a family might be good for us and some extra running around and time crunches ( we will see if I still feel this optimistic after a month has passed !!! )

We are super busy as a family , and used to be super active when kids were younger and doing all sports together , or now when we travel and so lots of activity together , but most our times together are eating and watching movies in general with the exceptions of the above

It's time to "just do it " as Nike says and connect on a whole other level !
As beauty showed me today it is a different dimension of a relationship to share an activity together and one that I really want to explore more of this

Ps - started the above well today . Did a good deed  for some of our bffs and were passing their cottage on way to ours so bought two shovels and cleared their walkways since literally was about 200 cms of snow !!!!!!!!
10 mins later they showed up and we all worked together ( except sk
Who is is a shoulder sling and had just had mini surgery ) we helped them shovel and get three kids in snow pants and empty the car and put on the heat in the cottage .Felt great to be active and helping !

( and this morning drove 4 hrs to get two teens to two far away ski mountains to ski with friends and will go back to get them again . It is our weekend of good deeds fir sure!!!)
)

Pot???????? No way!!!!

When Chase turned 18 yrs old, Hubby and I often have discussed since that moment a couple of months ago that we have been lucky. Lucky that we did not have big teen issues with him as we had always expected to have. We had all the little annoying stuff and still do all the time (disrespectful, totally messy, chaotic, drops classes, doesn’t listen, forgets critical things that we have asked him to do, runs out of money, goes clubbing until all hours of the nights, drinks alcohols, experiments etc..)

But what we have not had are the big stuff. He comes home when he says he will (even if he negotiates that time to be 3:30am) he is where he says he is, he is respectful to our family life most days of the week, loves his family, gains useful employment and generally respect the rules (could also be that as of 16 yrs  old  don’t have too many!!!)

Well our opinion changed (for a few hrs) two weeks ago.

I had been reading a blog that morning on my break from my work to relax me. Well it did not relax me at all. It was a very honest gut wrenching  blog from a very well know blogger and famous author of parenting books that her  now 21 yr. old son is and their family are going public on the drug addiction of their son who they found out has struggled with this since the age of 15 yrs. and had hidden it. This is the model of the picture perfect family it seemed –highly religious, highly family oriented, hardly allowed TV into their house or rude video games, high love and security and devotion, church going abiding kids who seemed to be endlessly happy. And now at 21 he is in recovery and coming out into the world with his message. These both humbled me, and also depressed me. I admire the son, the mother to so many degrees and their honestly was so admirable, but I was also seized by fear in so many ways. If it could happen to them-it could happen to anyone!

Anyways that afternoon probably for the second time in my life I craved chocolate (I don’t usually crave sweets on a weekday) so I innocently went into e kids rooms to find (steal)  some. On Bear’s desk there was some but don’t like the brand-next to Chase’s room and opened his bedside drawer and sifted through.

I see a big bag of what looks like earth or some weird dust or something. Weird!

Kind of bothers me on some unconscious levels somewhere back in my brain but quickly put it away, took the chocolate and try and forget about it.

Forgetting about it doesn’t happen so easily

Two hrs later I have sort of succeeded and hubby writes a text:

How are you?

Down I guess

Why?

I hate Mondays and I also found a bag of earth or dust in Chase room?

What??? Take a picture and send it to me!!!

Ok (send pic)

Hubby: I am coming home

Hubby comes home and by this time I am in a full on panic. I have never seen or taken drugs in my entire life and have no idea what they look like. I am sure sure sure that Hubby will say it is something else. But I am looking at his face and in a big panic as his face is not looking reassured.

 Hubby: This is earth

Me: Oh thank God!! I thought maybe it was drugs

Hubby: there is a piece of tape attached sealing the bag and on it there are seven seeds

Me: why would there be seeds?

Hubby: looks like our son is growing pot in his room

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Serious full on panic. (me crying and hysteria too) We look on internet and Hubby says that yes pot as the seeds all match. We tear apart his room and his mattress and anything else to find something else. Nothing.

We text our son in the middle of CEGEP classes and say to call us immediately. He says he cannot as watching a movie in class that is an exam. We tell him to hell with the movie and to leave class (in my mind he is not going to Cegep anymore anyways but back to private school or maybe evenly jail so I really don’t care if he misses an exam).

He doesn’t leave and says he can’t. He is freaking out and worried someone died. I tell him nobody died and everyone is safe (except for him)

He calls 7 mins later. We put him on speaker phone:

Us: We are in your room and both home from work

Him: ok..why?

Us: We found something. Any idea what it is?

Him: No. What?

Us: Earth in your nightstand with seeds to grow

Him: ya ok?

Us: Ya ok???????????????????? Are you fucking crazy? You are growing weed! And probably selling it too????

Him: (feels like a lifetime of  (guilty)silence. Guys are you stupid??? That is my Humanities project in my food class. I am growing  CHIA seeds! I will send you the course outline if you want to prove it!

Us: oh thank God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Him: OMG you are so so stupid. Did you really think I would grow pot in my room by my bed? . Can I go back to class now????

Us- Ok bye. Sorry??

And then we don’t know whether to laugh or cry. The laughing came later. For the moment we were too humiliated. Hubby was so so angry at me and said I made too big a deal out of it by calling him in class and telling husband at work!  (pls husband you are the one who cannt tell the difference between pot a a chia seed whatever the hell those are!) He said we ruined our trust forever with our son. We both wrote him long texts (after class) apologizing and begging for his forgiveness in doubting him

Chase clearly and with good reason,  did not respond and ignored us the rest of the afternoon

At 5pm I wrote him a text and bribed him a little. “Hey Chase you know this morning when you asked for the car-well I am cancelling my plans and letting you have it tonight. I am also picking you up from school too. I feel soooo bad for not trusting my guy. Forgive me?

He took the lift and kind of forgave us. He kind of hugged me and by end of the drive we both laughed.

The next night at the dinner table we really really laughed.

This story will go down in our family history

And the best part is he never seemed too mad that we had torn part his room, not trusted him and confronted him on something he did and would likely never do.

I could tell by his face that he knew that we did it out of love and that if he was a parent he would have done the same. We are always on the same page as this kid…and that is what makes our relationship with his so easy and so beautiful; we screw up (or he does) and we make up. We forgive and move on-to the next difficult (or beautiful) thing about to happen. I thank God daily that this kid was given to us to care for and to learn from and to teach. And also be a great example to his younger siblings.

And PS-so I still don’t know what weed looks like!!!!!! Maybe we need to take our adult buddies up on their offer to play poker and smoke pot together one evening before we are too old!!!