Chase turns 19!

Chase turn 19!!

My new years eve baby is a young man now . For years we have been suggesting he move his bday celebrations to may 31 as sucks for him to have all his gidts right after xmas ans he agreed this year 

So simple bumps last night at midnight and cuddles and song in bed to wake him up and the 19 things we all love best about him. A brunch out on the 4 by 4 and just love ... simplicity. What he loves . Especially a cuddle with his sister :)

How he occurs to me at 19

• family guy through and through . I suggested yesterday that maybe he would want just him and his dad at brunch and he looked at me like i was crazy and said " no i love my family . I want my  whole family there "

• he is so determined and perseverent . Took himself from a kid who had good marks in sec 3 and struggled in math to an honor student in cegep in the 90's on all things math and calculas and economics and linear . All bc of committed hard work !!

• he loves his mommy :)))) always been a mama boy and tells me everyday . We can fight but we make up within hours. He is soooooo much like me it scares me ! 

• he is funny . Like super super funny and makes everyone laugh all the time . Adults especially

• he is not afraid of who he is . Honest and transperent . Cries .. laughs .. shares feelings . Talks about stuff to us all that most 19 yr okd boys wouldn't dare speak of to their parents . Authentic should be his middle name 

• constantly strives to be better in school and business and has laser focus when he wants something ( like jmsb ! ) for a guy with very high level of adhd this is no small win

• resilient. Had a hard time this vacation with love life and is still able to hold love highly in his heart but move on gracefully for his own sake in his own time. This is a guy that is literally a chick magnet as he has it all . The looks and the smarts and the drive and also the compassion and love and kindness and a wondeful spirit and life . There will be many woman in his life just waiting for him to be free . The one ends up with him forever is the luckiest girl ever 

• he is an incredible brother . Can be very bossy and sometimes even a bully but mostly just so full of love and looks out for them all the time like a parent . Especially his sister who can really treat him unkindly ( and the rare time very kindly ) but he persists and looks out for them both all the time . And annoys the hell out of them very very often too . ( like taking all the clothes out of their drawers randomly and throwing them on the floor while they are studying is not a good quality at all ! )

• he loves his parents and shows and tells us all the time in words and in action too . All the time . 

• he listens to rules and negotiates and discuses vs defies them . We come to a middle ground . He respects us and we respect him 

• He is gorgeous and stylish . Always had this easy look and style that everywhere we go draws attention. Not a week goes by that someone doesnt tell me how charning he is and how gorgeous his green eyes and dark hair . Often now is is older woman !

• He is the food and excercise guru in our home and keeps us all on track . Funny thing is he goes through phases himself of ignoring his own advice  !!!! But the rest of us stay on track when it is not vacation 

• he and bear are bffs . They fight ( oh god they fight ) but they adore eachother and do stuff together and love eachother to the core . I never ever thought would have two boys so different yet so incredibly close and attached 

• he will be an incredible business man or finance guy or entrepreneur. Can see already he will be extremely successful in terms of career. At xmas party everyone was commenting about it as the conversations he has with adults is pretty amazing . Reminds me of savvys stepson gabe in that way . Can talk up a room and have everyone listening from a very early age . Its a gift 

• Is an amazing help in our home when he wants to be . Has been driving motor vehicles and boats since very little . Now those skills have translated into a great driver and he helps me alot with the kids and errands and driving

• always meets new people . Has a bff for years and lots of friends and always making more friends . Isn't the type to dwell on stuff . Feels alot and moves on with grace . Probably one of the most mentally strong  young people i know 

• just overall good amazing 19 yr old guy . On certain days ( many ! ) he drives me crazy but most days he is just a total pleasure. I am so happy his first choice of university is in Montreal. We are nowhere near to being able to say goodbye to this guy and have so much fun in pur house with him around . When he is not hyper it is like being with another adult and we love it 

Guests about to arrive for a big new year party at cottage . Boys just left for home for their new years parties . 

December 31 is one of my fave days of the year . We just had an amazing family brunch out and was so wonderful and fun .

I love that my baby was born on this day . Because he was my first i would consider it as the best day of my life ( with two other best days not long after )

He changed my life in the most amazing way and every day i learn from him and want to be better bc of him 

Love you so much chase !!!!

What i made happen in 2016

What ( I made happen ) in 2016

Sorry for typos when on ipad a nigtmare to edit 

I like looking back 

Not at events but at success

Things that even if super small to some are huge to be bc i have wanted to accomplish them for years

Other things that are big that i cant believe i accomplished

2016 my pride list :

I cooked a few meals !!! Like maybe 10-12 ! All crockpot ! People actually send me recipes now 

I found an excercise i pretty much love and that i am sad when i miss . Mostly restorative and yin yoga but even regular yoga too 

Hubby and i for a full year now do crossfit kettleball training fairly religiously twice a week now and walk there and back . We don't  love it but we tolerate it . And most importantly- force ourselves to go 

I am working mostly from home and ok with this alot of the time 

I am doing alot more good deeds and selfless acts this year and often amongst my busiest times of work . Doing things that i know will brightnen someone elses lives . Things like taking a woman who i admire who just moved out to dinner on her bday and inviting a stanger to xmas dinner on her bday as she is alone , or randomly donating to many causes or shifting whole menus without a fuss for dietarty requirements etc. And then the smaller things like doing things at home i normally hate like playing cards but doing it for my hubby bc he loves it.

I have grown my business and have doubled ( so far ) my income from my corporate role per year  and on most weeks work half the amount ! ( and on many other weeks work triple the amount especially when business travel ) may not keep up like this but was very happy with my first 1.5 years!

I sleep often now 6.5-7hrs a night on weekdays which is good for me 

I drink protein shakes every morning for a few years ( except one weekend day a week )

I play games and cards to make my family happy 

Although my eating habits aren't stellar At all i feel good about them . I eat for my appetite and try often to make good choices . I think i am on a good rythm

I started finally taking daily multivitamins and vitamin d 

( had to fit it in somehere in 2016 that my pet peeve still remains the same . Since every year my kids have been born. Getting the family out the door for activities or committments. It is the moat annoying frusterating thing on earth. All the nagging and reminding and begging to just pls get off your asses and out the bloody door already !!!!!! Thank god i have had nothing to do with their getting put the door for school. I gave at up years ago and has made me a much happier person . Forget your lunch or snack or hat or boots their own problem . My car leaves at 6:50

My marriage is awesome . We have figured out as a couple some issues that we have had for years and feel so peaceful about that . Also had a couple of emotional difficulties this year as a couple and hung on hard and didnt let go and let it bring us closer rather than tear us apart . I think we are in the best place right now we have ever been and so proud that we have worked through our stuff 

I try to control people less and not make them into who i feel i need them to be . I take the good stuff and the stuff i love and have my other needs met elsewhere through other relationships. Or work together very honestly and authentically on solving any differences . I also put up with less crap in general and have more balance in my relationships . There are a couple of relationships in my life that i never knew were possible - to feel that close and connected being able to fully be myself in every way and be loved and adored . Made me realize what true unconditonal love feels like 

I am a better mother. Especially in my relationship with my daughter. I committed and never ever give up 

I am more spiritual . Not religious but have more faith . I do pray and also pray for others going through a hard time . It makes me feel connected to the human condition ans hopeful . Also yoga is a highly spiritual experience for me and i look forward to that mental and physical immersion weekly ( i do so wish i could feel this way about kettle ball training ! )

I am honest about what i am and what i am not to those i love . And i work on speaking their love languages and adapting to their needs . Changing my weaker parts . For love 

I don't  let my days be defined by my moms health . Its been a long long long journey but i think i am finally here . To love her every inch and to emparhize fully - but to have my being and my life and seperate from her own . To be able ..... to feel happy and peaceful despite her ongoing constant health issues and to show her love while still being able to take care of my own family emotionally  and physically. I love her every bit as much but cant control what is happening and i have to accept that  

I have very successfully moved from raising two boys to raising two young men. We have such open conversations about their furure , their sexuality etc and they really come to me for advice and guidance

I am behind in 3 yrs of picture albums and got most of this done in 2016 and will frame in early 2017

I have come complete with my past and am building the clearing for the full landscape of my life . I am accountable for these changes to those i love most and have declared them . I am creating the possibility for myself to be extraordinary prodessionally and as  personally a mom and wife and letting a new side of myself emerge  . The second part of my life is about to begin and it will be very very different .

Few goals for 2017

Add more  cardio to workouts on treadmill or walking 4 times a week high intensity

Skin care regime / treadmill and tuck in emma every night all lumped together 

To find a social activity just for me 

To get some new couple friends that we have in mind and get to know them

Sea of cortez :)))))

To be less dramatic about other peoples suffering that i love that i can not control . To love love love but in a ( slightly ) more detached way

To really begin my " real" career this year 

To put more effort into my looks on a daily basis 

To eat better not to lose weight but to just feel good and nutritious. Losing weight would be awesome but i have accepted i am not willing to do what is needed at this point in my life to be one dress size smaller 

And my word of 2017 will be unleashed on jan 1

Christmas 2016

Happy endings 2016



Holidays is general are never really totally  my thing . We do them - and we do them well . Really well in many cases , but my overall philosophy is that ever weekend should be treated liked a special occasion. Even daily i always try to have something to celebrate ans be grateful for and look forward too

But the parts I always like the most is the time with family and the time off if I am honest .

The rest of the hoopla doesn't excite me much .

The exception to this is very often Christmas . I am not a Christmas lover or anything but every couple of years I get pretty into it  and excited about it.This one was one of them .



If you look at the pictures below just proves how deceiving pics can be .  ( pics to be posted later)This was christams eve 30 minutes before we were expecting 25 people for a huge turkey dinner . We were up early cooking and preparing this 42 lbs of turkey and having all these People and the kids were really good at helping and doing their share . With five of us if took us most the day but not the whole day .

Then for some reason the boys started fighting and wrestling and screaming for hours and it just was so annoying . I could not believe they were doing this on Xmas eve. I was so mad and disappointed and fed up and sometimes truly feel like I am loving with 5 yrs olds.And imbecile 5 yrs olds !


But we needed the christams selfies for 2016 so we took them anyways . Looks like we are having a grand time eh ? We are not

. And if we want to be even more honest we were anxious about the party . For no reason but we are always anxious when big group of people  arrive no matter who they are and especially the cleaning up part !


Well all that to say when the night was a huge success and  we had a great time of course . I can't even begin to tell you how fun it is to have little kid cousins in our lives again . And they are so kind and adorable and loving . They make it all fun . And seeing our kids love them is sweet . And seeing our kids in such huge conversations with all the adults was amazing too . I have always measured the way I feel I have done as a parent in  many terms of how my kids talk to other adults . Last night made me proud


And we had An amazing party and got to bed hubby and I at 2am and to sleep at 3am. Full of Congo lines and heads up Games . We were supposed to go to 10pm mass as we do some years but ended up to into our group game instead . Can't do it all . We fit in a lot though


And hallelujah our teens had not problem adhering to start Xmas morning at 11am so we all slept in ! We did stockings then a nice Xmas breakfast . Then gifts and then a break for me mom ( and me ! ) then gifts and then a great Xmas lunch of homemade soups my mom made for us . And then we all go up to rest and naps for a couple of hrs before cleaning up a bit and packing for our cottage stay beginning tonight


And the kids were great today and civilized .  And I started looking forwards again to spending time with them again

So nice today to have my mom feeling well and enjoying the day . So relaxed with her and when 6 of us together - just love it

I read in a magazine article today that Italian men are judged on how good of a man they are by how close they live to their mother :) that's my kind of country !! I hope my sons feel they are Italian

So was a great Xmas 2016 . I thought it was pretty in danger in 24 but it recovered swiftly . And sure the elfs are nice and the 42 lb turkey and the baking and the gifts . All of it is great
But when in comes down to it I truly don't care about any of it .

It's seeing the extended family . And being with my own family that matters to me and has always been that way for me

Going to snooze for an hour in my  new Xmas pjs now and then get up and pack like crazy for our two week cottage stay . First time hubby and I will stay up their in winter 2 full weeks without coming back . The kids will be back and forth but will have some nice times all 5 of us

Already we all made a list last weekend of all the must dos for us all in that time . Top of list is puzzles , games , skating , skiing , dancing to Xmas music in a circle , reading by the fire , eating steak , having nobody screaming ( good luck with that one ! ) snowshoeing , watching a movie in the jacuzzi and going out for lunch and the bakery

Now that above is my version of heaven :))

Happy endings 2016

Ps now it is 6 days later than when this post was written - some drama up here at the cottage but still loving all being together in the snow



Holidays is general are never really my thing . We do them - and we do them well . Really well on many case

But the parts I always like the most is the time with family and the time off if I am honest .

The rest of the hoopla doesn't excite me much .



The exception to this is very often Christmas . I am not a Christmas lover or anything but every couple of years I get pretty into it . This one was one of them .



If you look at the pictures below just proves how deceiving pics can be . This was christams eve 30 minutes before we were expecting 25 people for a huge turkey dinner . We were up early cooking and preparing this 42 lbs of turkey and having all these People and the kids were really good at helping and doing their share . With five of us if took us most the day but not the whole day .

Then for some reason the boys strayed fighting and wrestling and screaming for hours and it just was so annoying . I could not believe they were doing this on Xmas eve. I was so mad and disappointed and fed up and sometimes truly feel like I am loving with 5 yrs old . And imbecile 5 yrs old !



But we needed the christams selfies for 2016 so we took them anyways . Looks like we are having a grand time eh ? We are not

. And if we want to be even more honest we were anxious about the party . For no reason but we are always anxious when big group of people and especially the cleaning up part !



Well all that to say when the night stayed rolling on we had a great time of course . I can't even begin to tell you how fun it is to have little kids in our lives again . And they are so kind and adorable and loving . They make it all fun . And seeing our kids love them is sweet . And seeing our kids in such huge conversations with all the adults was amazing too . I have always measured the way I feel I have done as a parent in terms of how my kids talk to other adults . Last night made me proud



And we had Ana amazing party and got to bed hubby and I at 2am and to sleep at 3am. Full of Congo lines and heads up Games . We were supposed to go to 10pm mass as we do some years but ended up to into our group game instead . Can't do it all . We fit in a lot though



And hallelujah our teens hasd not problem adhering to start Xmas morning at 11am so we all slept in ! We did stockings then a nice Xmas breakfast . Then gifts and then a break for me mom ( and me ! ) then gifts and then a great Xmas lunch kf homemade soups my mom made for us . And then we all go up to rest and naps for a couple of hrs before cleaning up a bit and packing for our cottage stay beginning tonight



And the kids were great today and civilized .  And I started looking forwards again to does sing time

So nice today to have my mom feeling well and enjoying the day . So relaxed with her and when 6 of us together - just love it



I read in a magazine article today that Italian men are judged on how good of a man they are by how close they love to their mother :) that's my kind of country !! I hope my sons feel they are Italian



So was a great Xmas 2016 . I thought it was pretty in danger in 24 but it recovered swiftly . And sure the elfs are nice and the 42 lb turkey and the baking and the gifts . All of it is great

But when in comes down to it I truly don't care about any of it .

It's seeing the extended family . And being with my own family that matters to me and has always been that way for me



Going to snooze for an hour in my  new Xmas pjs now and then get up and pack like crazy for our two week cottage stay . First time hubby and I will stay up their in winter 2 full weeks without coming back . The kids will be back and forth but will have some nice times all 5 of us



Already we all made a list last weekend of all the must dos for us all in that time . Top of list is puzzles , games , skating , skiing , dancing to Xmas music in a circle , reading by the fire , eating steak , having nobody screaming ( good luck with that one ! ) snowshoeing , watching a movie in the jacuzzi and going out for lunch and the bakery m

Now that above is my version of heaven :))

Happy endings 2016



Holidays is general are never really my thing . We do them - and we do them well . Really well on many case

But the parts I always like the most is the time with family and the time off if I am honest .

The rest of the hoopla doesn't excite me much .



The exception to this is very often Christmas . I am not a Christmas lover or anything but every couple of years I get pretty into it . This one was one of them .



If you look at the pictures below just proves how deceiving pics can be . This was christams eve 30 minutes before we were expecting 25 people for a huge turkey dinner . We were up early cooking and preparing this 42 lbs of turkey and having all these People and the kids were really good at helping and doing their share . With five of us if took us most the day but not the whole day .

Then for some reason the boys strayed fighting and wrestling and screaming for hours and it just was so annoying . I could not believe they were doing this on Xmas eve. I was so mad and disappointed and fed up and sometimes truly feel like I am loving with 5 yrs old . And imbecile 5 yrs old !



But we needed the christams selfies for 2016 so we took them anyways . Looks like we are having a grand time eh ? We are not

. And if we want to be even more honest we were anxious about the party . For no reason but we are always anxious when big group of people and especially the cleaning up part !



Well all that to say when the night stayed rolling on we had a great time of course . I can't even begin to tell you how fun it is to have little kids in our lives again . And they are so kind and adorable and loving . They make it all fun . And seeing our kids love them is sweet . And seeing our kids in such huge conversations with all the adults was amazing too . I have always measured the way I feel I have done as a parent in terms of how my kids talk to other adults . Last night made me proud



And we had Ana amazing party and got to bed hubby and I at 2am and to sleep at 3am. Full of Congo lines and heads up Games . We were supposed to go to 10pm mass as we do some years but ended up to into our group game instead . Can't do it all . We fit in a lot though



And hallelujah our teens hasd not problem adhering to start Xmas morning at 11am so we all slept in ! We did stockings then a nice Xmas breakfast . Then gifts and then a break for me mom ( and me ! ) then gifts and then a great Xmas lunch kf homemade soups my mom made for us . And then we all go up to rest and naps for a couple of hrs before cleaning up a bit and packing for our cottage stay beginning tonight



And the kids were great today and civilized .  And I started looking forwards again to does sing time

So nice today to have my mom feeling well and enjoying the day . So relaxed with her and when 6 of us together - just love it



I read in a magazine article today that Italian men are judged on how good of a man they are by how close they love to their mother :) that's my kind of country !! I hope my sons feel they are Italian



So was a great Xmas 2016 . I thought it was pretty in danger in 24 but it recovered swiftly . And sure the elfs are nice and the 42 lb turkey and the baking and the gifts . All of it is great

But when in comes down to it I truly don't care about any of it .

It's seeing the extended family . And being with my own family that matters to me and has always been that way for me



Going to snooze for an hour in my  new Xmas pjs now and then get up and pack like crazy for our two week cottage stay . First time hubby and I will stay up their in winter 2 full weeks without coming back . The kids will be back and forth but will have some nice times all 5 of us



Already we all made a list last weekend of all the must dos for us all in that time . Top of list is puzzles , games , skating , skiing , dancing to Xmas music in a circle , reading by the fire , eating steak , having nobody screaming ( good luck with that one ! ) snowshoeing , watching a movie in the jacuzzi and going out for lunch and the bakery m

Now that above is my version of heaven :))

Spontaneous Fun

Sometimes I do it 

And when I do It I love it 

Like today . Hubby and I set alarms 2 hrs later and told the kids to take the bus . We slept until 8am and read in bed until 10am . 

Then I looked  outside at the beautiful falling snow and mild temperatures and put in my favorite hat and coat and walked to a restorative yoga class and relaxed and almost fell asleep In most poses 

Then I decided to completely forget about my long list of things to do today for work ( no meetings but lots of work to produce ) and I texted chase who is off school now 

He came and picked me up and we went to a fancier Thai resto . Then decided to go get a last minute Xmas gift for beauty . Then went to my favorite store ever - chapters and we each got two books . Was a miracle to see chase choose two books he is excited about reading . My dream come true . I didn't care how expensive they were - was just so happy to see him want to read !

So I dumped worked and all the long list of stuff I still have to get done before having 26 people over in less than 48 hrs - and opted to spend a great afternoon with my  eldest son .

It was seriously amazing . We had great laughs and great conversations and I learned so much about this boy I get to call mine 

Most importantly we both agreed that pad Thai without lime  is just not nearly as good as with lime 

Days like this make me so thankful not to have a corporate job or a boss . And also make me thankful that I am as organized as I am and have all the gifts wrapped and ready to go many days ahead and not part of the last minute Christmas frenzy 

I love you so Chase . I honestly feel so honoured to be your mom 

Shining the Hot Water

Everywhere I go this month I am hearing about shining the light ... Shining goodness on others etc 

Some in a very religious way using Jesus as a reason to do so and some in not so religious way just bc December is a good month to spread our goodwill and cheer 

Although it has always seemed odd to me to focus on shining light specially one one month of the year - I still love the concept of shining our goodness and light ( all months of the year )

So today instead of shining my light I tried to shine  and will the hot water 

In a very very frustrating situation ...

Let's say you have plans for a really special dinner at a friend's place that was already cancelled a couple of weeks ago . And you have rallied all the kids and made them come . And they finally agreed as they know they will have a great time when they are there so cancel and alter all their plans 

And then that dinner gets cancelled for the second some bc the hosts are sick 

Well you also had a hair appt that you had specifically put that same day as why not look nice since you need your haircut and color anyways ?

Well Let's say that after the hair appt the hairdresser who is supposed to like you after 20 yrs breaks it to you that there is no more hot water left and that the water heater is broken 

And then you go to a sink 

And along with what seems hundreds of other clients have your hair " washed "

With totally frigid water ( and ps is already -40 outside ) and partially boiling hot water from their coffee machine . 

And then when it is " complete " your head is full of soap and dripping and itching all over as it is not rinsed 

And then to get more soap out the hair the assistant asks another hair assistant to help  her with the rubbing and bucket and by accident they pour the bucket of water all over your face and sweater 

Many clients in this same situation were deeply affected and swearing and crying as color stayed in too long and wrong color hair etc . It was chaos there 

(And ps this is a hugely upscale salon )

In my head I was choosing my reaction and pondering on it 

And I chose the be the light 

And to chose to forgive this mess 

The assistants all had different reactions to this situation which was very interesting to observe . Some were telling clients that they were walking out and quitting as they could not believe the salon was still taking clients with no hot water . Others were fetching coffee and tea hot water for their buckets . Others were giving extra long head massages to try and calm their clients down . Others just looked in shock 

My one was fairly neutral but helpful and professional enough 19 yr old girl  . When she poured the bucket of water on me she felt really bad 

And so I decided to give her a huge tip . She looked shocked . I doubt she was expecting any tip from anyone at all . And I looked this 19

Yrs old girl on the eye and took her hand and said "

You did the best you could . "It's not your fault and you handled this situation in the best way you could . Good for you . Hopefully this tip will give you the energy to keep on going "

And she looked at me ( the light ) totally bewildered and then had tears in her eyes that started dropping down her face and she smiled 

And I truly felt so good 

And like the light 

I felt like a million bucks 

And so did she 

So I never did have my fancy blow-dry given that I had to go home and shower anyways and rinse soap out of my hair . And I never did have that special dinner to look good for anyways 

But what I did have ? Was pride . In myself .

The only way to describe it - is that I felt intact . Within a bit of a crazy world ( aka trump )

And I bet she felt intact too . And shines upon . 

And I bet if I was religious Jesus would have been inpressed too l

(PS-I posted 3 new blogs all today . So if you want to read scroll down three times!)

How she Occurs to me at 15

It occurred to me last night that from here on at the kids bdays I want to focus on who they are (to me anyways) vs what we did for their bday . And catch the true essence of them by examples etc . So I can vividly remember . Since Beauty's bday already passed and her blog too just adding in a quick PS

Our girl at 15 

.. Is not a morning person . In the car in the mornings it can actually be scary . By evenings she comes alive a lot more . On a normal day at the table she now participates and even laughs a little here and there . On a bad day she is silent and sultry and kinda rude :( on a great day she lights up like a Christmas tree and makes jokes and smiles and sings and dances . She is a girl with many parts to her 

• she is a dancer through and through . Her facial expressions , her body and mind in sync . She comes alive when dancing and can learn any choreography within minutes 

• she adores her dad . Like nobody else . She runs  his hair on his arm all the time " Poile a papa " and talks like a baby while hugging him and sitting in his lap . She thinks he is adorable and like her big teddy bear . If sound cute but he gets easily annoyed with the baby talk but at least she shows him  lots of love !!! ( until he disciplines her for something !! )

• she listens to rules . So far anyways . And obeys them ( miracle ) . She is a good girl 

• she often takes her friends in the bathroom to FaceTime her when she showers and poos !!! Or when they are here they all go to the bathroom together . Once there were 8 girls in our tiny powderoom !!!

• she loves her friends and has tons of them . She makes more and more everyday and lately tries to include new girls who invite her to their parties . Boys will randomly text her at ski mountain to ski and she says yes . Everyone loves her 

• She is way more reserved with adults . Any adults ( even us and Didi ) it's not her thing in the same way as friends . We are patiently waiting our turn 

• she bakes . Randomly . She will get to the cottage and without a moments notice just bake cakepops or a Banana bread or whatever . And then just leave it on the counter for others to eat 
•  
• she sends beautiful texts and makes Christmas and birthday cards that are so heartfelt it makes us want to cry of joy as we are so deprived of her affections on a daily basis ( sorry to say but it's true !! ) 

• she is simple and naturally beautiful . Every thing about her from her hair and skin and teeth and smile to her style and clothing . Hardly any makeup ( a tiny bit lately ) and a true beauty 

• When she feels bad about something she gives amazing make up hugs

• she has a massive heart for the homeless . I can't wait to send her on some kind of mission 
•  
• she is stubborn and a bit wild with friends and reserved with family and very complex . She is like a gold mine waiting to be uncovered 
•  
• she loves expensive shoes and all her money goes to that 
•  
• she loves her brothers so much even if a hard time showing it 
•  
• she is a fearless and will do anything and everything except be near snakes or spiders 

• she doesn't really object to what is . Like you can't bring home a boy to date out of school until 16 . She doesn't like it at all and makes that clear but doesn't really try to challenge it either .
•  
• she is independent and resilient and autonomous 
•  
• she has had to deal with scoliosis for 3 yrs now and new learning difficulties  that were recently diagnosed . The girl is a rock 

• she looks like an angel . But acts like a rock . Where really she is a combination of both . I can't wait to see who she becomes . She is layers and layers and layers of cake waiting to be eaten up 

• I still picture her as a woman and mother with a huge career and a ton of kids and dogs . Opening the door to us for a Sunday dinner rushed and in an apron and barely giving us the time of day but then making a spectacular meal and setting in her fabulous home . She doesn't know how to articulate it yet - but she is full of love for everyone . She will be an incredible mother and have an incredible career. Her dogs will adore her.

-Once in a while randomly she will tell me something so pure and beautiful that it makes me cry . Like " I find Xmas hard bc my mom deserves and island and all I can afford is a candle " or " mom I told my teacher my mom is my best friend " 

She says these things and then just walks away . Left in shock with your mouth hanging open.

We love you meh meh !!!!!

She Always Amazes Me

When I watch her dance .

It's like a flower blossoming 

Like black magic 

Like a beautiful symphony 

She is so incredibly talented 

And so incredibly happy when she dances 

Last night was the first mid year show of the new competition  team Beauty joined in sept for hip hop in Montreal . Completely separate and in Addition to the dance program she is involved in as her program at school 

It is a huge commitment as already her almost professional dance program at school is demanding throughout the day and most days Afterschool . Add two evenings of hip hop to this at a different location and many weekends days and evenings on weekends and you have a very full schedule 

Probably not the best idea for a girl who is struggling right now in school ? Or how is not overly committed to academics ?Not as connected to home life and family ?

My head often says no 

My heart mostly says yes 

I listen to my heart in this one 

Simply put : it's her thing 

She comes alive because of dance 

She is one with dance 

Dance is her 

I am not sure she would be her .. Without it all at this high level 

Especially hip hop 

Beauty does all kinds of dance from classical ballet , to jazz , to folklore to salsa and to the one they do on Spain that I forget the name of .  She is great at all kinds of dance And much more 

Hip hop though is where I see it is her thing . Completely and definitely . A pure and innate and natural talent 

Each time I watch a show I am amazed 

Was great day yesterday to just be at home after such a long exhausting and excruciating week of business travel and stomach flu combined . Did the tree and turkey stuffing and delicious new recipe for short team cookies and Christmas cards .( well the cooking part maybe hubby did and I helped and made our Xmas cards ? )

Had dinner with all the boys and chase sweet girlfriend who came to eat and show with us . Such a great girl and fun to chat with her and have another girl around too .

Sunday was a great day after a hellish week .

Thank goodness for the weekends to relax and rejuvenate and to connect with the people we love 

And to watch our talented dancing daughter in her element.

Each time I watch her it is a journey 

Each time she dances like that -we discover her deeply