In Search of Sun (weather doesn't matter...): May 2014

Thursday, May 29, 2014

The Right Formulas

This week has been a mess so far. Sleeping less, schedule all over the place, technical issues on phones and computers, no time for showers, ankle still sprained and confirmed “badly” sprained, meetings cancelled, kids events, no downtime, high emotions, friends not texting back. A mess.

And when I looked at why-it is mostly because I did not follow the formulas I am supposed to follow to ensure calm, tranquility and peace (mostly)

I am not reading before bed, I am not going to bed by 11:30am, I am not exercising I did not do Sunday night calendar so nobody knows where to be when, my hubby and I are not cuddling on the couch and having downtime together during the evenings, I am out too many times, I am doing to many things. I am rushed. And stressed and trying to pack it all in after a great vacation (which I am now paying for of course)

It’s like when I coach clients on their babies and kid’s sleep. They follow the system for a few weeks or months and then get complacent. “oh just tonight let her eat chocolate at 11pm, or juts tonight let her come into my bed when she is whiny and crabby, or just tonight I will bribe him with a gift if he goes to sleep without complaining. Or just tonight I will let her play with the iPad in bed to make her sleepy” Just tonight my ass!

How about do what you were told? Which works. It is literally 100 fail proof I promise unless your kid has a medical issue

“It’s bedtime child. Go to your bed and be quiet unless there is a health issue or emergency”

(And PS what time they fall asleep, how much they stay awake looking at the ceiling, the singing in their room, quietly coloring etc. is NONE OF YOUIR BUINESS! Your job is to go and clean up, watch TV and allow your child to learn the important skill of sleep.

Within three weeks magic all the sudden they are asleep at 8pm. No crying. No calling. No whining. Why because it causes ZERO reaction from you and therefore is no benefit.

I guarantee you 100 percent this has never ever failed in the 10 yrs I have been preaching and teaching this.

Advice: STOP IT! Whatever you are doing-if it is not working..just please stop it.

(Anyways back to the point (after coaching three clients on sleep this week who derailed and are quickly back on track and sane again and not screaming at their child every two minutes)…I think sleep is really top of mind for me).

Anyways-this week I broke my formulas for myself for my wellbeing and wound up cranky, irritable and unpleasant.

And in general I have been breaking my overall life formulas too in work, parenting, marriage etc…YIKES!

My formula this year, 2014 is REEC

Read/Exercise/Eat well/sleep/ /. If I do those 4 things well in the way I want and intend too-everything else goes smoothly other things will too. There are many other things in a day I want to do too like deliver, be productive, connect, be loving and affectionate , plan short terms and long terms, but a lot of that stuff I don’t have to think about (or at least don’t have to think much about anymore as I am getting better)

So today I got up and despite a whole lot of busyness and craziness and went for a nice brisk walk by the lake. For lunch even though I wanted to order that poutine as was out to lunch with a friend who was..I ordered a healthy brochette and salad and no rice, last night I tuckered down to bed after my late course with a good book and got in 7.5 hrs of sleep.

And abracadabra I am back in business yet again.There world is still spinning around me-things are chaotic-life is under control.

But me? I am centered.

People it’s all about our own personal formulas (a book to be written on this one day!) Follow them or don’t. We each have different and unique ones -but the commonality is that they work. If they don't-they arent then considered a successful formula

It’s up to you after all!

And that is my coaching tip of the day!

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Annoyed.

Do you ever have those days or evenings where your whole family gets on your nerves? Like each kid in their unique, annoying way and your husband too?

Where you suddenly look around the table and think “god these people annoy me? Pls be quiet and go away?” Tonight at dinner that is how I felt and now it is 3 hrs Later and I just can’t seem to shake it. I guess this has not happened to me in a while as it feels pretty foreign. I have been thinking about Eat. Pray.Love . a lot lately (aka I want to take off and go to Italy by myself.

I wish I could blame it on PMS but got my period today so I should be feeling calm and peaceful right?

Anyways just a reminder for you all that my life is not all peachy when it comes to my family always. Sure I love them and all but I got an email the other day from a reader saying that she could not believe how much I seemed to adore my kids. Well listen up lady……there are plenty of times I don’t adore them.

I guess I just have to write about those times more often. I begin tonight..

PS-I think hockey and the series is really contributing to my malaises and annoyance. The screaming for every goal or loss (and often swearing which I can’t stand but is apparently part of watching hockey, Bear up until midnight a few times a week on school nights, my husband not wanting to watch Modern Family, me being kicked out of family room. It’s just too much. Oh ya and Beauty tonight turned on me again. I guess the trip honeymoon is over!

I honestly don’t know how parents keep their kids up late at night on school nights and can actually be calm and cool and collected with them the next day.,I met a single Mom today with a 7, 9 and 11 yr old and they go to bed at 10pm every night!!! And she said she never screams or gets irritated with them ever! Could never ever do it. By 9:15pm during week latest I am FINISHED with kids. Goodnight! Weekends are enough when they stay up until midnight thank you very much.

I think I need to go to bed now befoe this post becomes the most boring thing I have ever written.

Goodnight.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Deprivation and Subbed Yoga

When I get back from a vacation a few things are always for sure:

-I gain 2 lbs if one week and 4 lbs if 2 weeks

-I have 1 very hectic week if I was away 1 week and 2 very hectic weeks if I was away 2 weeks

-I always get all my work done and caught up.

-I always lose the vacation weight I gained.

This time I gained 3 lbs and have 3 very hectic weeks of work catching up.

So of course I have to deprive myself with les food and do more exercise.

The exercise part is hard in and of itself considering that except for sleep all my hours are filled catching up with work and home. But I did it anyways, walking, gym and weights, yoga. By Friday afternoon at 5pm I figured I deserved my restorative yoga session which I adore and it is not for exercise but for decreasing stress only. The sessions are 1.5 hrs. And only 8 poses are done and each one half for about 7 minutes. But poses that are to stretch (vs work out) and relax. They are amazing and you almost fall asleep. Leaving this class you almost feel like leaving a great massage. Adore it.

Well this week there was a substitute teacher. What a disaster. Talk about easy money to earn! She did 4 poses only and each lasted 25 mins each. And three of them were on our back with our legs bent…how stupid. So all she did was give three instructions the whole class, told us to breathe once or twice and then we all pretty much fell asleep on the floor. At one point I opened my eyes and it looked like a bunch of corpses on the floor with Indian blankets on top of them with Hindu chants in the background. How can this be a JOB for her?

What the hell have I gotten myself into??? This not only does not at all help me to lose weight…it actually stresses my mind! By pose three I decided to just go with the flow..and fell asleep.

Anyways back to deprivation. I have a number in my head for my weight and I can NEVER go over the is number. Not that I love this number of anything or think I look amazing or in shape. It is juts my number for my body. The limit of what I can weight and still feel attractive, confident and good and be happy with the way my clothes fir and still live my life and eat the way I want too. For some this number would be a lot lower, maybe others higher. We all have our boundaries and limits and this is mine for whatever reason.. When I surpass it like after this vacation…my anxiety hits the roof until the scale tells me it is under control.

And so those weeks getting it back to what it was usually 2-3 weeks is insufferable as far as I am concerned. I have a serious issue with deprivation. It is horrible. It can be me deprived or those I love around me and I feel deprived through them. These two weeks until I lose these three pounds…I feel like nothing is fun or I having nothing to look forward too. And I am eating a lot and not even depriving myself of much at all. I just HATE the feeling of not eating what I want when I want. I am generally a fairly healthy eater with lots of weekend fun. Very intuitive eater and rarely overeat but indulge often not by amounts but of what I like. This week I was careful but not too careful and even really pissed me off.

And when others close to me deprive themselves my high alerts go off. When my mom told me no wheat for her a few years back I nearly had a panic attack and hit all the stores immediately in terms of products that would make her forget, when a friend told us not more coffee or alcohol for him I was in near tears, another friend told us no more sugar rest of his life for an illness and we held him in our arms, when my husband gave up alcohol I truly felt that his life had ended. Others people’s deprivation of what they enjoy Is harder for me to experience than my own and has always been like that.

But my own sucks too.

I think I am an alcoholic who does not drink

A binge eater that does not overeat

A coffee drinker that has never had a cup of coffee.

My husband feels exactly like me about deprivation. It breaks his heart too. We share this craziness together.

I see these things as “free” and “easy” and “fun”. When they have to leave or go away…I feel juts so sad. My heart breaks. Life is so hard in so many ways….a cupcake or gin at the end of the day is just such a little treat. Mornings can be hard to get up and go and face the day…a warm cup of coffee in the hands with some good old caffeine just makes it that much easier (PS I have never drank a cup of coffee or had a gin or barely any alcohol in my life) pss I know I am a piece of work why do you think I see a therapist???

Besides food and drink stuff I don’t care much about deprivation. Not much ruffles my feathers. Tell me you lost your job, got divorced, got your foot run over by a bus and I will sleep fine that night. Tell me you can’t eat a cupcake? I go mad.

Anyways this combination of the crazy dumb yoga class and me not eating much these weeks is a strange one (although PS I just had three cookies). My relationship to exercise and food is quite funny actually and so is the vacation weight. Because as soon as I lose those three pounds? Like as in literally the moment I lose them? Back to normal eating. It’s not like I could think” oh it would be good to lose a few more!” No way. Not worth it. No more deprivation. And it’s not as if I go and eat a cake or anything it’s more like a bowl of cous cous with some veggies on top. I guess we all have our funny relationships with food don’t we?

So tonight we are having tabouli and chicken and brownies. Tomorrow zatar sandwiches for lunch and homemade taquitos and rice and salad for dinner. Monday I am going for BFF Bday dinner at Steak Frites. So what am I missing exactly? Nada. Nothing. Except my peace. Except self-managing is hard especially when it comes to having to monitor it three times a day when food is around us all the time. I guess I self-manage in so many other ways in life, and perform, and stay successful and organized…I just wish food and drink (even if I am not drinking it!) was a free ride.

So there it is people. All out there for you to devour and eat up. Crazy me.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Beauty's 2014 Cruise in Pictures

I must be crazy. I have never been busier in my life or as pressed for time and I have just spent 4.5 hrs finding and downloading these?????? OK...it's priorities...pictures as much as they are a pain to do....are really priceless. So are the memories.