In Search of Sun (weather doesn't matter...): April 2015

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

My Habits as of Late

I am at my most productive when I am at my most busy. Plain and simple-it’s a fact. Like that expression “if you want something to get done-give it to a bust person” So true.

And I am very very busy lately. It’s hard to be part of a company rightsizing and then come back as a consultant mere days later. It’s strange –but parts of it are very cool too. And it keeps me busy that is certain. Big and tight deadlines, pressure, proposals, networking, I have never slowed down since the day I was told my role did not exist anymore. It’s odd.

And after the next week and a half this contract will end in big Pharma and it will be onto something new. I am going with the flow-and the flow has a lot of strategic planning involved. Let’ see if the cards all fall where I planned and intended them too. Will be interesting to see it all play out. Will be interesting to see how I adapt to this all. For now it feels like “organized chaos” and I am best in this environment.

Amongst this craziness lots of stuff has fallen out of my life for the moment:

Time with kids less in evening

Time with hubby less for sure

My house is a mess

I forget appts in evening all the time (mani/pedi)

On the other hand there are habits I have established that I always had a hard time making routine and now seem to be easier for me:

Five days a week I mediate for 10 mins as I wake up and deep breathe

Four days a week I powerwalk for 40 mins by the lake

One day a week I do yoga before dinner

I wash my face before bed as the kids get ready to be tucked in

I make time for friends and their needs no matter how late at night or how early in the morning or between meetings

I still have my shakes every morning and a lower carb dinner many nights a week

I make time for massages

I bought a new agenda after 13 yrs. of the same system

It’s just off that in the midst of these chaos-I feel more productive than ever. Being restructured is no easy feat after 12 yrs., insurance companies to change, severance to settle, the list goes on and on. Every minute of every day between working and the family is literally booked and the to do list go on and on and on besides all the normal to-dos of life.

But somehow my priorities are even clearer to me than ever before.

Each morning after my power walk I set the intention for my day and I think of what I am grateful for. Somehow breaking it down that way just really starts the day out right. Simple but strong.

Today was:

Intention: to tuck the kids in tenderly and with more time tonight

Gratitude: For Soulkeeper who during our talk last night reminded me of how unconditionally loved and supported I feel by her and how she accesses the best I have to give

Somehow all of these habits just feel good. Disciplined with good habits..hmmm I think that great book I am reading “More Life Please!” is having an impact on me.. you should read itJ

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Which Project is Mine Now?

For many years my professional and family life was very straightforward. 12 years of working 3-4 days in leadership roles in Big pharma. 1-2 days of my own company Lifeworks on the side.

It was hectic and busy but predictable. The days themselves were not predictable but in general the weeks were unless travelling about 6 weeks a year on average for work.

This allowed me to be disciplined with good habits in our home life too for 12 solid years (which I consider the most important years of our children's lives and our family lives)

With the balance I strived for and maintained for these 12 yrs ... I was able to be the type of professional and family person I aspired to be ( with lots of faults on the home front )

This required massive amounts of energy from me to maintain this integration.. But was worth every struggle and ounce of energy

I delivered 100 percent to my team and deliverables at work and I never missed a vacation, ballet recital or important event in my family-I was pretty close to 100 percent of what I aspired to at home (except for my screaming, nagging swearing and irritablity and the monthly pulling on my kids hair (hard!)

From a life work integration perspective... I had it all.And it was my mission to keep it that way. And with lots of hard work and dedication ... I did.

Now.. I am focused on building Lifeworks and trying out the consultancy life until the end of 2015 and making a decision then of which career path to take. There are so many opportunities ... this is for certain, but this path requires a whole other set of skills and energy to two into them.

All the sudden my balance is really off again and I am striving to find it again. My days are filled so far with plenty of work ( as at the pharma company for 4 weeks on a big project ) and my evenings and weekends are filled with creating proposals for the other opportunities coming my way that are presenting themselves through people knowing I was laid off and available and also from me networking

It's a different life and one that I am not used to yet. I will be working around the clock for a few more weeks and then won't be having a set contract... Until I do again. Possibilities take lots of work but are not for certain.. And others just fall in your lap .

It's as if life really really wanted me to “trust the process “and decided to throw this in my face . Feels a bit like a glass of cold water with ice being thrown in your face-but on a day you needed to wake up anyways.

So no I have not found my balance yet in this structure. It will take some time.. But trust me I will .

Because as I live this .. I realize this is how most people run their lives . They don't seek balance. They want it but they don't out the effort in to make it happen and be sustained.

And what a family is left with them this is the case is in my opinion not conducive to a good family life over a long term period.

Right now my son needs braces and I have no time to handle it . My daughter craves a longer tuck- in but I am too tired and irritated to give more than 5 mins . My other son went to the dentist alone and I never asked him about it . Our taxes are due and were scrambling last min tonight to get them done until all hours of the night.. I have a friend in need and we can't find time to speak on phone. My mom has not been feeling well and I still need her to come to house for her weekly job to help or we will starve. My husband and I need to spend some quality time cuddling on the couch and chatting but we fall asleep in minutes at 11pm as one of us walks in the door. My son’s grad is coming up and I have never thought of renting him a tuxedo

What I notice most is that the project most on my mind 24:7 is my work. I don't have time to think about myself and my family.

And at this stage of my life... This might me appropriate and ok? Maybe not?

But I am grateful that for those 12 yrs. I carved myself out the time and space to be able to make them alongside my deliverables at work: my most important projects .Without that space in my mind-we would never had had the marriage and family life we did.

So what is my project now? What should it be? What do I want it to be? What will it be?

These are the things I am pondering these days-as soon as I have a minute to sit and think.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Costa Rica 2015 in Pictures

IMPORTANT: (I pressed "publish" in error as was supposed to be tomorrow) Make sure to read post before this as Introducing my First Published book and I want you to read that one too!!!!

Costa Rica has been a trip I have been planning in my mind for years and years as a family. I am so glad we made this happen despite many obstacles that almost got in the way. Was such an amazing trip.

Hubby and I last night stayed up for hours and hours downloading ,filing and uploading pictures. Thank goodness we are both committed to pictures post trip as this is a big job.

Enjoy! I know lots (more for our benefit to remember these great times as a family)