What do the following things have in common?

Guesses anyone?

Making a Gatorade stand

Going for a 5km run

Going to the store independently and selling your old Gameboy

Talking your Grandma out for dessert at St-Hubert

Taking a long soak in the bath

Cleaning up your room without being asked

Getting ahead in French by reading the next book assigned

Swimming outside after dinner

Writing a thank you email for a gift you received

Chatting up your parents about your day

Telling us a bunch of stories about your crazy teachers

Fighting! Wrestling and being noisy

Answer: The re-implementation of technology block out period in our home after summer for specific hours of the afterschool and evening periods Love it. Best thing I have ever done. I am going to write a big book about this specifically one day. It’s my big secret and one I intend to get rich on one day.

My advice? If your kids has a TV or computer in their room-if you have no limits on technology, if your kids are constantly connected to the determent of everything else?

Read my future book.

New Beginnings

It’s going to be a good year.

That’s our estimate so far anyways. Hubby and I texted each other today and expressed how happy we are where our life has landed.

The first week of school is always a good indication of where things are at. So far so good.

Chase started Sec 3 this year (aka Grade 9) you won’t see a picture of him here posted with any of his friends because he would not like me taking pictures of him and his friends with schoolbags in their uniforms. That would be quite uncool at his age he feels . But he did allow me to take ONE picture of him alone! In front of a tree!

Chase has changed so much this summer-it is incredible. Different kid really. Different habits grew a lot, different outlook on life, different sleeping patterns. It’s all different and it’s all great so far (minus a number of extremely attitudy days) Overall awesome kid. He is so independent this year so far too-my brain is likely finally able to start consuming less of him (for the moment anyways). He does his own things with lots of “I love you” in between and lots of laughs. It’s a great stage. I still worry..but I worry less. My brain has been on auto pilot for years to think about this kid…feels like I have too much leftover brain power now it seems.

Bear started Sec 1 this year (aka Grade 7) and if you follow my blog you know how amazing it is that he in Sport Etudes after missing the 3 hr. exam because of his surgery. What an amazing feeling to see him start his year exactly in the specialized program he belongs in. He came home yesterday and already announced he wants to do the Ironman in 6 weeks!!!!!

Although I have been through first day of high school before with Chase…I still cried with Bear…it broke my heart and also made me abundantly happy on many levels.

Here he is with his buddy in “uniforme official” the first day and then one of the regular uniforms the second day” this school rocks for uniforms! Maybe it is because I am his Mom-but I think this guy is soooooo cute in these pics I could scream it from the rooftops. My Bear. What a year we have been through!

Beauty started today. She is in Grade 5 and got the teacher she wanted and one friend in her class (phew!). I love this little girl to bits..the older she gets the more bonded we become it seems…..lately I am literally breathing this child in she is so sweet. We let her for the first time ever “hang around” in the village with her BFF for 1.5 hours since only a couple of hours of school. She had her Dad’s cell phone and was so proud to call us.

I met her at pizzeria for a quick slice of pizza –big advantage of working so close to home as was back at desk in 45 mins-love it).

She walked home with her BFF after “the long way” and used the cell a few times and will hang out with her Didi this afternoon.

She will get to have some “Back to school Cookies “tonight with her Dad (non-burnt ones!)

She has also radically changed this summer too-her looks, her mind. She is completely different….growing into a young little lady. Her habits have changed, her demeanor, her interests.

I love her little outfit today. I wish I could look like that in her tiny skirt. Are mother’s supposed to feel jealous of their daughter’s legs and butts?

There sghe is at school with her 4 buddies. The five of them have been a clique for many years now. It’s fun to watch them grow and grow together (and as scary to imagine what can happen when you clique is so close as theirs is at this age)

So all in all we start the school year prepared, excited and exhausted already from just a few simple days of being back in routine. As usual I wore my lucky perfume and made wishes for all of them at 11:11. This year more than any other year…my heart was full for them.

I think deep down I am realizing that there won’t be many decades left for me of these special moments. One day I won’t have any first days of school anymore to fret over.

I wish I could freeze time right now. My kid’s ages, my job that I adore and overall just wish time would stop and slow down a bit and let me catch up.

I want to burn some more cookies for many many more years to come. And have my children eat them and text me about how yummy they are while I happily and contently do what I love to do at work. And then come home to them at the end of good and productive days. I could never ever be a stay at home Mom-but man do I love these kids and their moments..often from a distance it seems, but it works for us even though that may be wierd to some.

I want to tuck them in for many more years at night. I want them in my back to school pictures. I want them to stay fairly little exactly as they are in pictured above.

Good Intentions

Intentions are important right? And having fun? Doing something for pleasure and not performance?

When I set out to make my very first batch of “Back to School Cookies” yesterday morning….I had all these things in mind.  I really wanted to make it special and make them from scratch, and try to be as good as a Mom of one of the blogs I read. She has her kids come home from school the first day and sit down and talk about school with the cookies baking in the oven, with a cold glass of milk.

Great idea! Love it!  How sweet of a tradition is that? I should copy it. Today.Immediately.

So Beauty and I baked up a batch for the boys and another one for her first day of school tomorrow. I goggled “Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Ever” and got a lot of hits and reviews. I carefully selected one…

 We turned up the music and got too it-dancing around and laughing. I thought in my head “This is fun-I should do this more often-look what I haved missed all these years by not baking back to school cookies!”

I should have known something was wrong when it called for 3 cups of flour and the creamy batter was quickly destroyed and looked like a bowl of creampuffs..or when the batter was so floury it was impossible to mix. Is there a big difference between baking soda and powder?

Anyways by the time I put them in the oven I was seriously worried but did not want to ruin this special time for my daughter.

In they go and after 10 minutes nothing seems to be cooking at all. Oven issues? Maybe they meant 20 minutes and not 10? Anyways it took 30 minutes to cook those large flower filled cookies…at which time the bottom burnt and they were hard as rocks. A lot of smoke also seeped through the stove and almost set of the smoke alarm. Is that normal?

When Bear got home minutes before I arrived he texted me “Had a great day at school! PS-why are the cookies burnt and hard?I love you mom though!”

So I stopped at Subways and picked up a dozen perfectly cooked ones and we still had our cookies and milk and laughed all together at my ones.

I left one for Hubby so he could see them and get a good laugh too and threw the other 40 out. He was rather sad as he said he likes burnt hard cookies ands that the middle tasted delicious. What a keeperJ

So I wasn’t too hard on myself on this one because the intention was there and we had fun. I was glad at least I wanted to bake something homemade and that I went for it despite my obvious lack of domestic skills (although usually I am a decent baker for the record!!!)

Next year…I am doing a practice run prior. Or Pillsbury.

Wow....

So many emotions go through me as I send my two boys off to high school and one for the first time.

I will post much more fully when Beauty starts on Wednesday, but sufficed to say that as easier I think it gets year after year to see them off, and know a new life is beginning for them, a a great future lies ahead…..it also gets so much harder.

I stood there today snapping pictures of my middle child all dressed up in the “uniforme official “ of the school, the tie, the grey pinstriped trousers, and the polished shoes. The short cropped hair and the immaculate white ironed shirt with the plaid vest…and I cried behind my camera.

You would think you would get used to this-but you never really do.

One more millstone, one more hurdle in the future of never knowing.

One more battle won; one more plan materialized to get this child the best education and sports program possible that he was so deserving of in every single way despite his emergency surgery on the important sports exam date.

One more child who won’t depend on you for their decisions in the way they always used to. They will hear you, but they may not listen.

One more child..out there today starting the life that was meant to be his. His way.

 It’s time to go now and just sit back and reflect for a few minutes on all the beauty that lies ahead and all the new moments just like this one. With a few tears and a nice little smoothie.

The Moment you Know

For many years I have wondered…how do you know..how do you really know when your pre-teen becomes a real teen??

I know now.

There were many signs, the rolling of the eyes, the attitudy back talk, the “Moooooooooom"-everytime I ask him to get off the computer or do a chore. The signs were always there but did not give me the proof I really needed that this had truly begun. I have a 12.5 yr old so I know the difference…..it’s not the real thing yet.

Then there were the more dramatic recent “hints”. The little pimples, the more square shoulders, the 4 inch growth spurt, the longer and more frequent showers and the “in my face here I am” exhibition of certain teenage signs.

But the real time came; the moment came….this summer..a couple of weeks a go in our kitchen.

When Chase had been out hanging around in the village near us with his friend or friends like he has been doing in the last months almost daily and nightly….and then he came home at 11pm which is already weird in itself.

And he started making pasta in the kitchen at midnight.

And we were tired and decided to go to bed before him.

And he stayed up and still made the pasta

And it never occurred to  us remind him “to make sure the stove is turned off or to go to bed at a certain hour” Why not?

Because we knew that he knew to turn it off. And we knew that he would go to bed when he was good and ready.

And both felt perfectly natural and perfectly fine for whatever strange and odd reason.

Our work in a lot of ways was complete:( He was a pasta cooking night owl now and was managing on his own in a way that made sense to him. We went to bed that evening….and I knew the time had come.

I shed a few  little tears and said little "I luv you"s in my mind for the darling boy I love to bits. My first baby.

And knew that it was all going to be (somewhat) ok.

Fini! Suivant???

Sweetest Searchings

There is something that my daughter does that I think is the most adorable thing in the world. Don’t we all think that of our own daughters?

I call it up in my mind each time a need a boost. When I conjure this image up, I quite frankly don’t really care of much about anything else.

It is so sweet. And so her.

When she watches a movie any time over the last two years she waits for the credits at the end and searches for her Dad’s name “Robert”. She refuses to let anyone move, turn off TV, or speak before she finds it…and she always does among the hundreds listed for production, producing etc..

Here comes the sweet part.

She says she will do this for the very rest of her life on every movie…awwwww

I picture her sitting there one day with her hubby, with her babies, then with her cane and her grandkids one day a looong time from now well after her Dad has passed away searching for his name.

She says it is in every movie. It has to be she says.

She says she is giving herself only two chances in life not to find it (I wonder what happens after two chances!!!)

For me this image shows so well who our daughter is.

It shows the sweet extent of her love for her favorite man in the world.

It makes me so incredibly grateful that I was able to give Him:  Her

So that he could forever be so adored and admired by his little daughter.

That was always part of the plan right?

And I am grateful that she has made all of us now search for special “Roberts” wherever we go.

The Birds, the Crickets (and the STUPID Raccoons)

We visited Auntie Chiffon and Uncle Chez Veto this weekend at their beautiful trailer on the lake. It was an awesome weekend over all.

I love being in nature.

That night when we set up in our tent for four (Beauty decided to sleep with my Mom in the trailer) I went to bed thinking “Wow-I love camping and tents…it is so cozy and wonderful. I love hearing the grasshoppers and crickets. I love waking to the birds in the morning and this air mattress is really comfy and cozy. I love having 3 guys beside me and all being together. What a sweet evening. Love it.”

I mean I do sleep all the time outside at my cottage on a Bali bed-what is the difference really?

I changed my mind somewhere in the middle of the night about tents.

It always seems to happen.

I always seem to start out loving them and then hating them in the middle of the night.

Maybe it had something to do with Chase waking up every 30 minutes and having night terrors and screaming out “Where are my sister and brother!!’” Or Chase accusing me of being a drug addict when at 5am I got up and popped a sleeping pill! Maybe it was the raccoon that unzipped our cooler and ate the 15 homemade cupcakes that I was fantasizing about all evening? Maybe it was the fact that the first part of the night on an air mattress is considerably better than the second part-it gets less cozy and less inflated as the night goes on.

 Sleeping in the tent the four of us also made me realize how similar Chase and I are (yup… the one who accused me of drug dealing and has panic attacks all night-him) and how mini-Dad Bear is.

Chase and I were excited to sleep in the tent…then our passion diminished. We are idealists and dreamers. Reality smacks us in the face often like hard bricks

One one side I had Bear and the other my Protector (what a terrible job he did of protecting me that night!)

Before “sleep” I said to both:

”Isn’t this amazing!!! I love sleeping in a tent so much FUN!”

One said” I will let you know what I think in the morning”

The other” Hmm…not sure. Will let you know tomorrow”

Ater those short sentences,both snored quietly the entire night. Both woke up at 9am and said they barely slept. Ya right!!!!!!! I was there...watching your sleep all night.....standards from these two are just way to high! Perfectionists.

Those realist’ twins! Neither could answer a hypothetical question if their lives depended on it.

Anyways so I woke up totally sleepless despite Ativan sleeping pill at 5am. Woke up wanting to stuff my face with a cupcake with extra vanilla icing early morning .Clearly that never happened.  But…..but…but….

I had a wonderful day and a wonderful weekend anyways. More than wonderful

And next time we go there..I will still want to sleep in a tent again and look forward to loving it.

I STILL love the IDEA of sleeping in a tentJ

Deserved: Chewables

Today I was looking through our medicine cabinet; observing all the medications we have that have piled up and expired; and a thought occurred to me.

“Gee isn’t that off how all the medications we have are chewable for the kids even though I have a close to 15 yrs old”

How embarrassing is that!

Yes. yes…some of my kids have been near midgets for many years so have weighed less than many 8 yr olds for so long but still..Chewable Tylenol for babies…still?

And what came to mind is that we often get what we deserve in life. A politer way to put this is that we get what we put focus on and try hard at. And cleary I have not been paying much attention to pill swallowing in this family.

Ok so over the years it has occurred to me that teenagers will be made fun off if they cannot swallow a pill; it has also occurred to me that now at his much more acceptable weight for his age he needs to take 5 tablets to reduce a headache, and has occured to me that if he goes to a sleepover with grape pills in his bag and his friends see them he might be the laughing stock of Grade 9 or the next drug dealer…BUT….

My effort has still been minimal. 2 hours at top delegated to my Mom to teach them with little Tic Tacs. Two kids got it somewhat and one nearly choked to death (the 15 yr old).

It goes to show that we achieve what we focus on. If we pay attention to our child’s independence they become autonomous .If we nuture our marriages, we often stay together or stay together longer, if we pay attention to our diet and body, we are healthier. And the list goes on and on and on….

And that is it why it is so  fundamentally important to pay attention to the things (and people) that matter most to us in our lives. When it matters the most. Have a plan-a vision-a dream of what you want your life to be. And live into it..by your daily actions.

 So my kids don’t swallow pills. Because I did not make it a priority.

Yet.

And to be honest I don’t quite really give a damn anyways.

(Do you think his future wife will)?

The Comfort of Authority

Sometimes out of nowhere it seems, I have a great memory from my childhood that creeps up, warms me up tight and indulges me in its warmth and comfort.

I have many of them when it comes to my Mom and my Brothers and childhood over all, including my Dad as part of the family unit.

I don’t have as many that involve my Dad only.

I had a very interesting memory this week about him however.

My kids over the last 2 weeks have had a friends sleeping over almost every night. It has seemed as though we have had a parade of kids in and out of our pool, our home, at our dinner table and in the kids beds over the last 14 days (just the way I like it in the summer!)

As fun as it is, I realized a few days ago that there has been not much privacy-I have not been able to wear my old pajamas as parents continuously show up at the door, I have not been able to skinny-dip in my pool late at night in fear that a 15 yr. old boy might walk down for a midnight snack….I have not been able to scream at my kids much either!

So I asked my kids for a night without friends over. I demanded it. (Usually we have this all the time because of cottage etc…and during school year stricter rules, but summer is a free for all in many ways).

And this request reminded me of one my Dad made to me when I was about 18 yrs old and started having my boyfriend over all the time, for most of the weekend (yep you heard right..I was allowed boys sleeping over-a posts for another time!!!!)

And his request made me mad..and angry and frustrated and I told him “how dare he want privacy and was it such a big deal anyways?” I was angry and felt my own privacy had been invaded. How dare he demand this of me-what a JERK !!! 

But deep in my heart…I held a smile and I was deliriously happy…that he cared enough…to demand something of me. He cared enough to stop me doing something that I needed to be told to stop…he cared enough to provide rules and guidance and discipline. He cared enough to demand, and use his authority and just say no.

This one particular time and maybe only a couple of other times after or before gave me comforts you cannot even begin imagine. Like a warm blanket on a chilly day or a cold lake on a hot sunny one. It enveloped me and when I think of my Dad I like to conjure up this one particular image.

He was acting like my Dad.

And I was 18 yrs. old and craved this authority and structure and authority…imagine how a 2 yr. old feels???? How much they need this even though they may cry and scream each time it is exercised by the parent?

I saw a Mom the other day in the mall with a four year old and I literally almost felt like walking over to her, shaking her an saying ”You do know right that you are doomed, that your adorable child will grow up a monster of a teenager and be dependent on you to make her decisions for the rest of her life as an adult right?”

Zero authority. Running around the mall as the Mom gently coaxed her to leave, being subject to every demand her daughter had and giving in, cuddling the child near her when the child has just gone and whacked another 3 yr old stranger nearly across the face, trying to talk gently to the child in a soothing and kind voice when the child called her stupid and was rude and impolite.

I was horrified amongst the many other onlookers who witnessed this scene.

I was horrified that the mother did not take control and certainly not at the normal (although a bit dramatic) behavior of her young child.

I felt so sad for the child who if had just been properly disciplined with a proper time out-, a very stern word of caution from the Mom and an immediate leaving of the scene… would then learn self control. To control herself in the future….what a loss opportunity and teaching moment for the child that she learnt that being inappropriate is accepted, and soothed, and valued. Where out there in the real world away from her Mom’s open arms this kind of behavior will get her bullied, and rejected and possibly even beat up on the schoolyard later in life.

So although I was not that kid at all that I am describing………my Dad was often much more passive when it came to the fine tuning and art of parenting.

My cravings were strong and the times he stepped it up will always remain good and fine memories for me.

And I remind myself of that memory when I demand more from my kids, and set high expectations, and believe in their capability and understand that the cues they take from me will determine their future and how they may see themselves, and how others may view them.

Thanks Dad for saying no to sleepovers with boys every weekend. It kinda saved me from a lot of thingsJ

Not so Many Popcorn Moments Anymore...

Life has changed recently.
 
In the "old" days, I used to take by three kids to the movies in their pyjamas on a rainy Friday night and have them fight who would get to sit beside me.
This Friday night, I offered to take my three kids with each a friend to the movies. I carefully selected the movie "Wimpy Kid Dog Days". Something everyone would enjoy right?
 
Well Beauty, her friend and I loved it!
 
The boys decided not to attend that movie or really want to be seen with me or the girls much.
But that was ok. They sat at a booth close to us for poutines.

They went to see a PG rated movie even if half of them were 12 and I helped them get in (baaad mommy, but this is who I am I can't stop it), they walked behind me far to go to the car and texted me when the movie was over.
 
So it was a separate night but I still felt very much together. Standards go down when you have tweens.
 
I still loved that the boys say “I love u” at least three times during the evening in front of their friends just beacuse, I still get to have them ask me how my movie was when their one is done; I still have them ask me if I can supervise a midnight swim when they get home. And lucky for me-I still got to have my daughter cuddle with me and hold my hand the entire durationn of Wimpy Kid. It all felt equally good. My kids are good eggs.
 
They still share their lives with me-just in a different way than they used to. I am much more of a witness than my once full on contributer.
 
And here I am , almost Midnight still supervising the pool as my eyelids are heavy. I am so quiet here in the dark, my son did not even realize I was watching. I hear all their converstaions go on about who is dating who, who is ugly, who is beautiful, who is dumb and who is smart. I  don't interject  or interupt...my lessons are over in front of their freinds at this age.
My husband out playing poker at the yacht club with some guys friends. I am mostly alone
 
 
Life is changing.
They are changing.
I am changing.
 
I am so looking forward to unravel our next decade together.
Shared popcorn or not..it is still a delight and my possibly naïve goal is to keep it that way for as long as possible

August

There is something about August that is different than July. It has always felt like the end of summer to me even if there are still three more weeks until school starts (ok well 2.3 weeks).

The days are just a bit shorter, it is always a bit darker, the rain seems to fall more often and the skies are less lit up in general. Eventhough there are beautiful August days it just does not feel like July.

I am certain it is mental too-I mean flyers advertising school supplies are not helping, notices for orientations being sent from the schools, family starting to ask about X-mas plans, and booking our Spring Break trip make it seem like we are onto the next season.

Even at work-it does not feel like summer anymore-things are back to rock and roll after a very short maybe 2 day somewhat quieter season in July. Meetings are being planned for end of year and project deadlines and plans being conjured up by the minute.

It’s interesting this particular summer, as usually by this point after vacation is over, I feel pretty ready to start thinking of kids going back to school and anticipating it to some degree. Often I feel they are ready to get back to some good old structure and routine and I look forward to less chaos myself having them home while I am at work.

But for some reason this summer….I don’t have that feeling (yet)

Things have gone incredibly smooth (so far) this summer. Ok knock on some serious wood now! This is like proclaiming “my kids are never sick” and then going home to three of them barfing all night long. Just keep your stupid mouth shut!

The kids have in general been getting along really well; they have been content, not bored, not too annoying on most days, have been cleaning up after themselves, doing a good job of taking care of each other, being good sitters to their sister, seeing lots of friends, being content when there are not friends to see and hanging out with each other. Offering to make a salad for dinner, letting me know where they are and with whom, and rolling up all the hundreds of dollars of spare change in the house and not even demanding a cut!

Ok ok… there have been really crappy days too of course where I could throw them all out the window but in general it has been a really relaxed and good and easy summer (so far).

So I stopped and pondered today…maybe all that stuff I did since they were two years old…all the values I have been teaching them, all the family nights, and lessons learned, and structure, and routines and recognitions and consequences, and short terms and long terms thinking, and creating networks for them, and focusing on what I think is best…..

Might just be working!!!!!!! Maybe it actually has been having an impact!

Maybe. Just maybe everything is going to be ok.

They are going to be more than ok

Maybe. And just maybe….

I can breathe.

(until the police call and tell me that my little 14 yr guy who I think is with all his friends all week innocently hanging out at the park with a whole crew of friends is really drinking, smoking, doing drugs and kissing girls in bushes).

I like being naïve if that is the case. Keep me in the dark for a few weeks more?

Truth from the Mouth of Babes

Kids seem to always know best; they take things to the simplest and purest form. I love this about kids.

My teen also seems to have this ability.

He had told me that the gift we gave his friend and his family of flying would be perfect because it would make them happy and smile. He thought and hoped it might possibly make everything ok. I clearly told him it was a great idea, but that I wish it were only that simple.

But he ended up being right. For that hour of time…I think they were happy and smiling and everything seemed ok. Chase knew what they needed. They needed to fly

That hour will go down in history for me as one of the best hours of my life.

They got all dressed up in the gear

And soared and soared right to the top

Their sweet faces were all lit up and proud and happy and full of pure joy

Their Mom’s face looked the same way

She got to have a mental break

She got to feel pure happiness for that time

Their sweet Grandma was with us too-and she got to think about her grandchildren flying even after losing her precious son

My kids faces during flying I have never quite seen those expressions before either. It was as if they were 2 yrs old again and had just seen Christmas and stockings. I have never seen them look so happy and free; it took me back to their youngest years. I put down the camera because I just wanted to soak in those faces.

Was it the flying? Was it the giving? Was it witnessing such happiness on the faces of the other three kids?

It was phenomenal.

So yes Chase……you did well. We did well. We did make them happy and smile and it was the perfect gift. I think we all learnt last night that the best thing to do in life is to give in abundance and be witness to the joy that that giving can provide.

And I had this feeling inside of me that their Dad liked seeing their faces that way too all the way up there from Heaven. Getting to see them soar and free and peaceful, even if just for a few moments. He must have liked seeing that very much.

Life is hard. And beautiful.

Managing Blog Expectations..

A friend of mine recently shared this wisdom with me about her new blog that she was going to set expectations and write always Mon-Wed-Fri. So now I open her blog only on those days. Good idea!

Doesn’t work for my blog though because I am a very spontaneous writer…I love it…it is a passion for me….I write as often as I can possibly find the time too. I can’t schedule my blogs like that because I can’t keep my thoughts inside of me when they want to be written. I like writing a blog on the same day I post it.

But………I need to manage expectations for the next little while as I often in the last weeks have written 5 -6 posts per week and that will need to come to an end for the time being.

I am cutting down to likely 2 per week for the next few months. (Or 3-4 if I can find the space in my schedule)!!!!

I am feeling excited that my writing has been in demand lately in other placesJ)) (more on this at a later date) .

So don’t give up on reading me just because I am cutting down short term….I am still here and might surprise you and delight myself and write as much as I always have in the past.

But just in case, just wanted to let you know.

Thanks for reading me! I am very pleased when I have seen all my international readers’ stats creeping up and up……I never imagined this.

The Fine Art of Entertaining

This post is not about what type of silverware to use or what kind of fancy food to serve.I could not care less if I serve or I am served on plastic plates or fine china; if I eat Fritos chips or caviar. If I am hosted a cabin in the woods, in a tent or in a mansion.

I care about getting to spend time with people I love. Pointe Finale.

It is not uncommon for us to have very large groups of people (often 15 and more) at our home and our cottage several times over the summer and sometimes even several times within the same week. Sometimes for several days.

People think we are crazy. The guests who come say that they think we are laid back and wonderful hosts (and crazy). For us we have it all down pat by now and have certain things we stand by when we entertain large groups who stay over that work for us.

I dare to share the below:

 1-When we entertain at our house vs. our cottage it is different. At the cottage we are inviting people into our relaxation time most of the time and we want to relax too so we all share a good part of the work. Each family is expected to make one meal, from the planning to the shopping to the cooking to the cleaning up. We started this with the Chez Vetos, extended it to the Holidays and Sweethearts and now are expanding this cottage rule to anyone who comes to stay overnight.

It works-it is fun-makes our guest feel less guilty when we are constantly cooking and cleaning-and makes us happy when we get to relax a bit and have guests and not be slaves the whole weekend. Win win.

And….we get to try really yummy different food. We had a Mexican fest today you should have seen my brother and his family cook!!!! Homemade salsa, guacamole, tacos, lemonade. Better than any resto I have ever been to and I went out on my boat and texted my friend and spend time with Hubby while this feast was being cooked.

 2-Have guests help with the cleaning up. If you have a bunch of kids around like I do this weekend, assign each of them 2 chores and watch then have a ball doing them. Share the love.

3-Make everyone comfortable. Let them pour their own drinks, mess up your house. Don’t be anal about your things or where things go. Let them relax and enjoy themselves.

 4-Let everyone do their own thing and be ok with that. Read that book of you want to-go to bed early if you need too. Some boat-some hike-others play Life. You are all here to enjoy.

 5-If you only see them once in a while-take lots and lots of pictures and make sure you get the perfect one to frame.

 6-Buy lots of beer and have lots of alcohol on hand. Guests crave a good drink.

 7-Change your outfits many times and give a bit of a fashion show. That’s always fun!

8-Have many throw covers on all the couches so people want to relax and get cozy.

9-Before they leave make a date for the next time they will come so that you get it into the agenda right away

10-Don’t make sleeping arrangements too practical or they will stay forever….nothing like a few pull out couches to do the trick-hahhahahhahahah just kidding.

11-Most of all and in conclusion don’t be afraid of big gangs and entertaining. It’s no big deal if you don’t make it one. If you ask people to pitch in, and help out and help clean up everyone will have blast. And more than anything it is great for your kids to see their friends and family and experience them living together and seeing the various ways people parent and the differing cultures of families. It’s a good example for your kids for them to see you being such a great and natural host or hostess and they will carry this with them-the important message that:

 Your home is welcoming and others love to be there. They will be proud of you. You will be proud of you. And you will have created another beautiful memory.

My Perfect Day (in real life)

Watching my guys fishing in the rain

Quietly reading on the dock under the rainfall

The perfect rainbow

Weather doesn’t matter

Making something simple for dinner

Everybody Happy

Deciding to go to bed early (midnight that is)

Getting in our pyjamas and walking through the cedar path with flashlights

Smelling the sweet scent of pine

Covering the little bed in the tent with our three favorite blankets; one from when I was a child and two from the old cottage

Lighting candles beside our “bed”

Chatting about our day (the same day as the last 17 days really of doing a whole lot of nothing)

Falling into each other’s arms in the moonlight

Feeling in love

Going for a little swim under the stars

Falling asleep with the gentle wind on our faces and our bodies warm and cozy

Waking up to a family of 8 ducks in the sunlight

Swimming as we wake up for a long time even before his morning coffee

Him snorkeling and me floating both together

Wishing it could last forever

Trekking upstairs to the house in our PJ’s to fetch milk, coffee and  warm cinnamon buns

Being able to have this time together even with three kids

Realizing life is sweet on some days

Both feeling like it was the perfect day

(if I had not lost my temper and called my husband an idiot for leaving the keys in the car ignition and burning the battery of the car and preventing me from being able to go do my errands before my gang of 15 arrived the next day-it would have been absolutely perfect.

(We settled for almost.)

Yummy

 I don’t have a ton of real “Aha” moments.

Maybe it is because I am a control freak, or a know it all, or not spiritual enough or just plain boring.

(yes trust the process, connect the dots etc..were all great but they belonged to other people who taught me how to live into them)

I have some aha moments, and likely many over the years but not that many that are completely unexpected and spontaneous. I don’t think I have that many life altering ones; ones that take place on a deep unconscious level. I am just too controlling for those beautiful freeing and wonderful moments.

Until now that is.

Today I had one. After a night of crying myself to sleep for no damn good reason at all….Of course my period came today but also a peace washed over me and somehow my view of the world also altered in some strange and wonderful way.

Something very important shifted for me.

I am actually not going to get into the details of it (I know strange for me who pours my life out to many people both privately and publically!), because these feelings were extraordinarily profound and I am not really ready to share them with anyone (yet). Sorry Mom! Savvy! SoulKeeper! Everyone else I love!

All I know is that reading is good for me and so are the feelings that come up when I read books as uncomfortable as some of them may be. I am on a constant quest for new knowledge and have a thirst for information, change and ultimately fulfillment. Thank goodness for the 22 books I have here during this vacation.

 The off combination of reading "The 5 Languages of Love” and “Fifty Shades Freed” has led me to a day that just made plain old sense.

That I have been waiting for all my life in many ways.

That felt to me……like coming home.

And I liked that feeling very, very, very much.

Maybe reading Shades of Grey was good for me after all?  Christian Grey taught me a whole lot, and not about sex, but about my heart. How minty is good, but reserve it for work. Take more chances and bring out that strawberry body wash a whole lot more often for your loved ones. Strawberry may just be the last piece of the puzzle?

And my language? It may be that I have been speaking the wrong one. Adjust a bit more to each individually and give them more of the love they need, ask them what language to speak to them in. And to acknowledge in myself that more and more often I will need to ask for the type of love I need . I deserve to be loved in my language too right?

I hope I keep this feeling with me and feel it again. Allow it all back to my conscious. I love the feeling of something occurring in me that I did not plan for or control. Is this what happens to more normal people often?

Wow.

Indulge. In what may be-a whole new side of me. Bring it on.