Showing posts with label Madly/Truly/Deeply. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Madly/Truly/Deeply. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

What's happening around here lately?



my #1 star:)))

NYC central park moment discovered book title!! with some amazing help from my brilliant buddy!!!

The winning team!!!

Visit to my older  bro and  family in NYC!!!

my adorable nieces

a  quick stop in to NYC where my collegue and buddy was too!!!

sunsets on way home


mothers day food made by kids





my mama bear:)))) love her sooooooooo much!!!!




MVP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! huge honor and new position too for Chase at business school!!


I have been such a bad blogger lately and will continue in that direction given that I am for the last 3 months and next many months building a second full time company along the first full time one . 
So I will likely be writing about 1-2 times a month as will be also starting another business blog in sept that I will announce closer to that time .

I am using this blog now for record keeping sake for myself and my family . Follow along if ever interesting for you !


Short recap of what has been going around here:

 beauty- ots and lots of dance ! And lots of winning . Every competition beauty has been in this season for team Hype or her solo she has won !! Most first place and a couple third place ! ( always based on top three ) . It's been an incredible season . This weekend when it all ends ( 7 shows back to back ) she will shed a lot of tears I am sure .  Seeing lots of friends lately ! Has some hard times in last month and was proud of how she handled . I am feeling sad for her that dance is ended for this season as has left a hole in her heart and schedule and we don't know what 2019 holds on terms of dance so all a bit scary . She is such a trooper and a strong girl . We all have a lot to learn from her . Prepping for her humanitarian trip in August !

Bear - in final exams now . In sciences this is hard and long ! Also tons of research for university and he is exploring Waterloo management engineering very closely . He is going all the way there by car in a few weeks to check it out and spend the weekend to get a feel for it at one of their events . So much ahead for this kid and so many big decisions . Very proud of all his hard work in school  . Now also totally into boxing ! Joined a boxing school . Hard for the mamas heart to have him come home with two black eyes last week . Letting go is no easy thing . Has an awesome group of friends he hangs out with . He seems to have mastered the balance thing lately . He finished school yesterday and soooooooo good to see him relaxing in front of video games this morning lounging around ! Waterloo visit next weekend and a whole new stage of life opening up 

Chase - named  head of logistics for huge committee at JMSb and worked so hard for this . Also named MVP for the same committee . I have never seen anyone as committed to volenteer involvement . Over 3 years in cegep and university he has likely more than 300 plus hrs of massive school involvement ! I guess it is no conincidece he on his own ( no coop ) got one of the best student internships anyone could home for . Oncology at a major  bug Pharma  that he started this week ! We are in awe ! It feels like a whole new world just opened up to this young man . I find these early 20s amazing to sit back and watch as a parent . So much growth and development is happening in the next number of years   and I am so excited to see his life unfold before him . So many new people and experiences and celebrations and obstacles to figure out . It's amazing to watch truly 



Me and Hubby - tons of work on new business together which is crazy and wierd but amazing ! Plus our other careers . It's a lot . 
Will be going to Bali in a couple of weeks with Bear and excited for that . Lots of house and cottage work in between . Spring is not a downtime for us . Can't wait until summer to have some time to unwind on our dock at the cottage . We really are eachothers true partners in life and love . This new business hares venture has really made this abundantly clear


We are being put to the test in what we can handle as workload lately ( and of course self imposed as we have made this choice for now) . We are also being put to the test with our kids 
Although great things going on for them - a hard age and stage in general 

We often feel lonely , alienated or frustrated . Other times blissfully connected to them and happy . Roller coaster ! Lots of disagreements between them and between them and us . Life is harder to all live under one roof at this stage . Two of them are adults trying to find their way ; and one of them is a 16 yrs old girl who can be really hard at times and a delights at others . It's all very hard to manage and deal with too be honest ! This stage are new territories for us to navigate and just trying not to drown !

Mothers days was this weekend and was really really nice . Some mothers days are better than others and this was one of them !
I spent the entire day with my mom on Saturday as we drove to a funeral 2.5 hrs away of my aunts grandma . We had a lot of talking time in the car .  Rushed home to get to beauty's end of year show and Went with hubby and chase and Simon . Then bear met us for dinner at the best all you can eat sushi Chinese place ever . 
I had already said goodnight to beauty and at midnight she came in and gave me the sweetest  hug and kiss and said she wanted to be the first to wish me Mother's Day . Made me feel really nice ! ( although the next day she said forgot to make me a card so at least had that !! )

Both boys came into room as I woke up with huge hugs and kisses and love which was also nice ! Bear then came in room later with the cutest card he made with the most beautiful funny words on it - his cards totally rock and I treasure them year after year 

I chauffeured a good part of the day as beauty had three more dance shows and wanted her with us in between for Mother's Day lunch .
Started day after driving with taking my mom to chapters to browse and choose a book as part of her gift 

Then came home and chase had made a super yummy pesto chicken veggie pasta and beauty cupcakes and hubby fruit platter and was delicious . My mom and I enjoyed it all and just the relaxed time with everyone which is so rare with the 6 of us now these days .

Chase gave me a cute pic with some loving words on the back and hubby gave me an amazing gift of white berkenstock sandals as love the black ones I have and wanted a second pair for upcoming trip to Bali . 

Then we watched a ted talk I had carefully chosen and had our dessert 
Bear had set the table to eat outside on the nice warm and gorgeous day and was so nice to feel like summer is around the corner . Bear also cleaned up everything . Was cute to see them all take over what hubby used to do on Mother's Day and have them select the meal and cook it and clean up etc . I felt very cared for 

After some more back and forth driving hubby me and my mom sat in the backyard to read and write a bit and  napped as the kids went off to all their activities . A nice way to spend the gorgeous day 

It was a super nice Mother's Day and I appreciated every moment of it 

(And ps yesterday beauty presented me with the MOST beautiful card with pics and amazing words I will never forget . Made my Mother's Day complete and I felt so special )




Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Kintsukuroi



Translated to “golden joinery,” Kintsugi (or Kintsukuroi, which means “golden repair”) is the centuries-old Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a special lacquer dusted with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. Beautiful seams of gold glint in the cracks of ceramic ware, giving a unique appearance to the piece.Apr 25, 2017

A person I work with very closely and cherish very much as a friend in my life told me about 6 months ago that if she had to capture my being in one word or sentence this is what it would be :

Kintsukuroi

To repair with gold .

And since that moment this statement has never left me . It was probably Of everything anything had ever told me about myself or what I thought about my own self , the comment that resonated with me most about who I am and whom I want to always be.

It was ...and is..a huge compliment
 And for the first time , also clearly defined my purpose in life on so many levels and put this into beautiful words

To repair with gold
yes I do that...

The only mix of words that makes any sense to me at all over the last few days since we recieved news about our daughter Thursday afternoon that will change the direction of everything

After 4 yrs of worry , anxiety , fighting , compliance , discipline , Hope , fear - we sat in the surgeons office on Thursday and heard that Beauty’s scoliosis has now very unpredictably increased by another 10 degrees ( so 16 in last 18 months which is unheard of when a child stops growing ) and she is now a surgical patient at 52 degrees.

Spinal fusion

For our dancing girl.

We sat there with the surgical team for more than an hour and a half going through the decisions , the risks , the surgery . In shock and in tears
 United in our trio . Strong . Sad . Beaten down . Beautiful together


I am not saying more for now as I truly for probably the first time in my life just truly don't have the words . Yet .

To repair with gold is all that comes to mind .

And then at the same time so much deep was going on at the same time with respect two other people I love so very deeply . My mom and Chase too . Shifts in relationship dynamics . Upsets . Off balance . Growth . Changes. Love. 
So much at once.

For now even if those are big and would normally take the front seat for me , they very suddenly take a big back seat to what will happen in about a year with our daughter . Laser focus . Laser focus . Laser focus . To prepare to concentrate , to make beautiful to the person who needs me most .


Yet that too is not the right thing either and I am smart enough to know it . Life will go on . And has to go on with me in it . I will need to think of different things . I will need to continue to be a mother to two others , a wife , a daughter . A friend to people I love who do not have kids who’s dancing backs will be fused . I need to continue to be me , even when everything has changed . How can this be possible ? How could I even possibly care about anything else anymore ?


I need to feel it all first
Then I need to figure it all out


Because right now ?
I feel like I can’t repair with gold .
For maybe the very first time in my life


I cannot fix it

Yet I know there is still a yet .


I will leave with that today . This is my last blog until my wonderful husband has my yearly blog book printed on January 31st every year .
 The January 31 has to be special . Important . Meaningful . He tells me that each year .


Jan 31 is also when my dad passed away . It’s an important date . Dad if I ever needed your help - it is now . It’s not too late dad and like we always said your help to me can be much stronger in death than it was in life . Pretty please ?
 I am counting on that . I need you. Have I ever asked really anything ? I am asking now . Make up for years of not being able to be there for me . It would make the world of a difference to me now 
 I need you to make sure that she is ok . She will be but I need you to make absolutely , 100 percent sure .


I am ending this blog now . This one in particular today and perhaps this blog for good tbd . Another January yet again is taking me in a direction that seems so distant , so hard , so stretching and so Incredibly impossible . Yet Januarys keep coming back and we keep beating them , the unlucky lotteries that seem to be constantly thrown our way .

And what do we do ? We make it all beyond good . We make it great . And mostly ? We make it count

All I can think of this time is literally ensuring that every vertebrae, every rod , every screw , every scar , every blood transfusion , every needle , every day of her year recovery needs to be gold . Sewn up with gold and Magic and light

Our beautiful golden dancing girl . With her talented , dedicated beautiful golden hearted surgeon . Repairing her with gold and fixing all the broken cracks of her now 52 degree curved spine

With her mommy in the background all part got the symphony. The silent yet mighty powerful conductor
 Of the life I was part of creating and the life I birthed . Protecting her every step of the way and ensuring that the scar that will go neck to waist for all her years to come after surgery

Is truly - made of gold .










Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Pics Vacation !!

Better late than never!!!


my office party:)

 My Tenor's great show at Place Des Arts!

Beauty baked for Charity:)

Client gift




Secret Santa Fun


Quiet Xmas eve buffet

New earrings from mama bear

Cool auberge on Dec 25

Squad charm


new haircut


the team::



me and me Ann-abella

we did such an awesome presentation that day!
our great extended family on xmas in ottawa!



Hubby said so rare to see me doing dishes!!



cousins!!!


the whole gang!

game with pie in face!!!

awwww

sooooo sweet!
Got two rooms at hotel yet piled into my bed anyways!!!

Beautiful xmas table


Cottage life and reading book by fire

good old selfies!

All of us finally together:)))



New years at Trent!

Xmas gang ottawa!!!

New year!!