This is a theme in my
life lately . I think before now my mindset was abundance on many ways .
Quality too ... But primarily abundance .
As much family time
as we could fit it .... As many work contracts as possible .... Lots of social
plans and events to look forward too .... A closet full of clothes and purses .
I used to see more friends-plan more things. Keep up. I can assure you that in my visit next week with one of my faraway cherished friends we will pack in more gems in two hours than we could of in 2 hrs a day. It's called power connecting and you should try it! (ps there is sometimes even pre and post work involved so not for everyone!)
Now I find myself in
a new place . With the three kids
work and school and
summer schedules it is not possible that we spend most weekends at the cottage
together anymore . Often we are alone - or with one - or with two and
exceptionally with all three .
In work too . I used
to work in the corporate role leading people and projects and my area of expertise
. I had a lot of flexibility and authority and autonomy but still did what
I was told in a lot of ways . Now each day is a blank slate . I choose . Or I
don't choose . I chose the contracts that I have time for and interest me it
that bring in the money . For now I have been fortunate that I have had a lot
of choices ... It's time to narrow them down and get more selective .
When you intend to
make a big impact you really have to carefully choose with your heart and head . Abundance is easy for me - impact
takes a lot of power and hard work .
I see the moments now
we spend with our children as precious . I try to handle them as such and
in ways I think the kids so too . It is easier to
Convince them to hang
out with us and be full present . It is easier to get their phones away and out
of sight for the evening . I think they understand too how precious and
fleeting this time is together . I have seen them Mature through
absence .
I see when I am with
the kids on a more daily basis they annoy me more - I am more irritable with
them . I am less likely the abundance and more the special times we all carve
out whether that be one two or three kids . At this point we take what we can
get .
We have had some rare
precious times lately and less in between moments . We drive back and forth
from cottage to be with our kids for 4 hrs . We wake up before the sun to drive
them to their jobs . We escape sometimes from the daily grind and come alone to
the cottage to get away from the chaos and escape. We do it all differently . We are less
abundant .
We spend a lot of
time away from eachother as a couple now too. I travel a lot for work and even
spend more time alone at the cottage by the lake working and creating . He is
taking his pilot license and preparing to trek the machu pichu and sings on a
well known choir with an orchestra besides his busy career .
We hang on more and
do less of the daily . When we have the chance to be together it is more
special . It is cherished .... Until something happens and it is not anymore . the ebbs and flow of life I guess.
Life is moving at a
very fast and furious speed .
I am losing control
on so many ways and am more grounded in myself on so many others .
Grey and ambiguity is
not just something to get good at anymore - it has become my life . And I
manage and even the rare time embrace the unknown .
Happiness and family
and work have had to be redefined as
well as who we are
as parents - as a couple and as people .
Middle age is no walk
on the park . Neither is having three teenagers . Neither is both of you running
your own own full time businesses . Neither is pain and sickness and sadness
Our blessings have
always been abundant and continue to be . Our struggles are plenty too .
This is what makes up
a life
I am personally All In
