I have described the
later teen years ( age 16. 5 and older ) as very similar in my opinion to the
newborn through the terrible twos .
It is such a rough
stage to raise at this age ( older teen and young adult ) an so annoying and
frustrating many days of the week when you literally feel you may pull your
hair our from the nonsense and watching them make decisions that you know will
cost them so much later on
That being said on my
opinion it is by far the most beautiful too . It is an honor and a privilege.
Its is in so many ways seeing every seed you planted ( and the ones you did not
! ) come to full fruition. They keep the parts of you and how you brought them
up that they agree with close to their hearts and throw the rest of it out like
yesterday's trash
As parents we learn
a lot about ourselves and our methods through this process! Nothing like a
mirror up to your face with reality like an older teen to show you where you
messed up royally . I hear myself saying so often " hope you make the
right decision for yourself ! All the best of luck !! " ( and then go
throw up in bathroom )
Or like the other
night where you realize your parenting was fabulous :)
Chase and i had a big
date an Assante conference with hundreds of other clients . They are our valued
financial investors for more than 20
Yrs now and chase as
of 18 their client too . So he and i went and had the best nignt ever . The
financial speech was ok ( chase liked it more than me ) but the keynote was so
inspirational about the one of two québécois who made it to the top of everest
among many other massive lifetimes adventures and hard obstacles.
We listened with
tears in our eyes and admiration
We had jokes between
us ( pesto and ceasear salad kits on grocery lists on boring financial speech
anyone ? ) or chairs from the dollar store that felt like we would collapse at
any moment ! Lol
I adore sharing life
with him . With all my teens . He made this ordinary
event extraordinary for me . And it helped him saying he
thought i was the best dressed woman in the room ! A rare compliment ( vs usual
critic) as he likes when i wear my two more expensive power suits
He loved the newness
of it all and the crowd and gifts and networking. I take it all for granted as
my daily business life . He appreciates it
through new eyes
And i offered him a
glass of wine and he said no and he insisted to drive both ways and let me take
a selfie of us together on our date . He made my day
So often we think his
dad and i , how much easier it would be to have him live away as of next year
university .. In so many ways would be easier as not a piece of cake living
with a young adult at all
But we would all be
missing out too. on watching him grow and mature and reject us as he grows into
his own and embrace us when he needs us . There is a lot more growing up to do
all of us together in this family and a lot more fun to be had
I hope he chooses to
stay home for 1-4 more years... I really do .
I know we will make
it work if he is 3-5 hrs away i know we will . But i also know the benefits
of proximity and sharing daily life as i did and still do
With my mom which has
always been the biggest gift of mine and my children's lives having her so
close by
I don't
want just the
holidays and smiles . I want it all . The dirty dishes even and the laundry
they do on their own and not do for a month . And i know skype exists but for
me not at all the same . Its all smiles and happy
or too busy to even
bother
To me its the daily
that i want to still be part of . The good the bad and the ugly . All of it -
for a little bit longer . After university undergraduate it is time to move out
but i hope he enjoys this all enough to chose to live at home
even for 1-2 extra
years . But as we know healthy young adults and healthy family dynamics are
hardly about what the parents want or what they feel is best
for the young adult
- but what the person chooses for themselves that is best for their life or
their unique learning process
The best parenting
skill we have is the ability to let go
And we may
have to as of less
than a year from now
I love you chase from
deep deep within my heart
Whenever you choose to have life take you i will respect and support you and we will make it all
Work out
