Work Hard- Play Hard it has Always Been.

Tonight as I prepare to go to sleep really soon because I am really tired, I feel gratitude.

Very grateful for the amazing people that I get to work with every single day.

These are people who are brilliant, who are savvy, who are fun, who make me laugh (on a constant basis), whom I learn from, who are team players and who many of whom I  consider good friends.

I feel lucky that in my case my work is really my life in many ways. And I really like my life.

I love that I get to be exactly me at work and that the leaders surrounding me get to be them.

We work in a truly phenomenal environment

It’s an amazing place to spend so many days, hours and weeks when I am not at home.

My wish for my kids is that they get to one day have such intergration of their lives as I do. Where going to work .....feels every bit as good as snuggling up to a good book at home.

I wish for them that they learn in life that there is nothing better than looking forward to what is to come the next day..everyday.

Golden Advice

When I first started more than 7yrs ago at the company I work for now I immediately learned some important advice.
It was from my Manager at that point and time, who went on to be extremely successful in his career and so I tend to believe that he must know what he is talking about.

He told me to shop as much as possible in airports.

So I did that today in Miami as I wait for my flight for Panama City.

He said if you travel for business you have to make it worth your time. You have to maximize moments. Be productive.

So I am!

He used to have this great routine where his Dad used to drive him to. airport each and every time morning or night. Just to have time to catch up.


(My taxi driver was friendly).

He also said that each time he came home from a business trip it was with a bunch of bags. I am assuming they were things for him and not souvenirs for the kids? He should have been more clear in his instructions!


So since his advice I have become a high performer in airport shopping (only at good airports none of that tacky souvenir stuff) I have bought great sunglasses-cool coverups-sweet soap and books for my shelves.

Why does Visa keep calling me for unusual credit activity? Shouldn't they understand by now this is my routine?

Today was even more profitable. I bought elastics for my hair that proceeds go to charity. I mean -nothing like an opportunity to give to a good cause right?

So thank you old Manager for that excellent and useful advice. You were a smart one and I thank you for it.

Love those long connections.

The Beginnings of an Orthodontist

It is Bear’s birthday. God I love this child. I give thanks for him almost everyday of my life; I honestly don’t know if I know anyone as sweet and kind and smart as this guy.

He wrote this composition for school this week and I just love it. It talks about what he sees in his future. Orthodontist or surgeon!!! 2-3 kids. Says health of his family his biggest value and wish.  Skiing and golf and cottage every weekend. Boating, Sailing and Amazing Race with his brother! Sounds like he and I will get along just fine in adulthood-can’t wait to hang out with him.

We did an early birthday celebration for him last week as I will be in Panama City this week for work all week.

He had a day off from school so I prepared a treasure hunt for him and his friend sending them from his shoe, to the microwave to the shower to the medicine cabinet to the dishwasher. In each place was some money for treats. Lunch at Gigi’s Pizzeria, then hot chocolate at the French Bakery, fudge at Paniers and gum at the depanneur. He was so surprised and so happy. So what if he felt sick to his stomach for 3 days? Part of having no treats in your house Mon-Friday and being on a total health kick is spoiling them on weekends and holidays::)

Then his birthday dinner at home with his chosen menu: Raclette. Yummy! Big feast with gifts of course from Didi  that he loved. He got his hat and his “I love Boobies” bracelet. He was thrilled. I love his reaction to gifts-he is so thankful and happy and he shares all his candy with us too.

We went out to Cage au Sports on the way up to Trent and they played “Happy Birthday” on the loudspeaker  -this was much better than a gang of waiters coming to table and having you stand on a chair and hold a rubber chicken!

Candy poster of course on his real bay. I added in a loony beside each candy this year. I figure the middle child should get something special for once? The others were very jealous and furious as predicted.

That night he stayed up late with his Dad and me and slept in our bed (well he slept and we were squished and stayed awake all night!). We all went in the Jacuzzi together late, late and opened all the windows so his hair turned to icicles-he was impressed. He took a meditation stance in the hot tub it was really cute.

Part of his gift was a cool new “sweaty” from the ski shop that goes down past his knees for skiing. He loves it.

Later February he will have a number of friends come over for pizza and I will take them all to the cinema. He has asked that we not stay with them and just drop them off. He has also said it does not matter which movie they see because they don’t watch it anyways. Happy not to be with those loud boys-I would be embarrassed.

As he made his wish on his candles this year I wondered if he wished for his sport program spot? Or was he like me..And doesn’t need to wish on it..because he is confident it will happen anyways? I hope he used his wish for what is most important to him. I hope his wishes come true.

As my boy turns twelve today, I am so grateful for the person he is already and who he will become. When I look at him I see kindness, and love and joy and intelligence. We feel tremendous pride in this boy and what he is to this family.

He had got to be the most stubborn and hard headed person I have ever come across but living with him in general is a complete and utter joy.

I always knew he was the one that would take care of us and come and visit us when he is older and so are we-and I still believe that. He is the one who will spend every weekend with us at the cottage, and every Sunday night dinner. He will always come back home. He wrote in his composition that by the age of 31 yrs he wants to be married to a “femme magnifique” and I am certain he will be.

This kid knows exactly what he wants and he will make it happen.

I love you from the deepest corners of my heart and soul my boy. I never knew that I could have as much respect for a 12 yr old that I do for you. You make us so incredibly proud every single day of your life.

We will fight for you and what you deserve forever. Don’t worry Bear you will be climbing that Mount Everest one day soon! There is NO chance a school could give up a leader like you. They might qualify as insane if they did that. They aren’t.

Love forever and a day,

Mommy

Just Do It

I was reviewing my Happiness Project that I did in November and will update periodically on elements of it.

Some aspects are going very well and other parts less well.
Overall am I happier? I would say no..I am not happier (yet) BUT this project has made a big difference in my life so far on some important levels.

EXCERCISE:

Before this happiness project I don't think a year has gone by since I was 17 yrs old that exercising more has not made it onto my resolutions for the year or any plan I make to change behavior.

I have always exercised on and off. And it has always been a part of my life-but in an inconsistent way. I have always really loathed going to the gym, or aerobic classes, but I often still do them half heartedly and with medium consistency and determination.

When I started having major neck and back pain issues a number of years ago it got me into a better routine of exercise and seeing chiros and other specialists and doing prescribed stretching etc...because I literally had no choice unless I wanted to suffer all day and night. It made me make time in my life for more regular exercise. But I still generally hated it.

On the flip side we are one of the more active families I know on the weekend and I love our family sports a lot. Swimming, water sports, skiing, walking on country roads, skating, snow showing, kayaking all make up a big part of our weekends and I look forward. To every moment.
So although I have not been friends with formal exercise I am very far from a coach potato.

With this Happiness Project I have finally been able to start actually looking forward to excercsing. I am not sure why actually-the change has been huge. I think for the first time in my life I have not equated exercise with the goal of changing my body (necessarily).

My goal has been to reduce back and neck pain, feel more energized, get outside more during the week and have a bit of space in a day for myself.

It has come to the point in the last few weeks that I am actually very resentful of anything that comes between me and my planned exercise sessions! A miracle considering I used to invite any distraction that would keep me from the gym most the time.
I feel genuinely pissed off when I have to cancel exercise. Hallelujah!!!

I mean I don't commit to a lot but what I am committing to I am enjoying. Mondays which is my more flexible day-it's a power walk and a gym session and then Tues and Wed a 30 minute power walk and my stretching for back etc. Thursday the gym for a class-and go to work a bit later that morning-but that is hard as meetings get scheduled half the time..but I do it every week that I am able and try to make this happen as often as I can control.

But its hard to fit everything in. I am not one to go into the office early unless meetings early so I am generally at my computer or on blackberry for a good part of early morning before 8:30am or taking meetings that can be done on the phone or fall in various other time zones. That is what I like about walking--I can work and then take a break for a power walk and then still get to work for a good time. Going to the gym or pilates involves a bit more time and planning-but I am committed to making it happen as I have to do it. It replaces physio for me and is necessary. When I don't I feel it right away.


So all in all- I am starting to seriously care for exercise for the first time in my life. I really it energizes me, makes me feel more confident, makes me concentrate more, and makes me feel proud and good overall.

Exercise is definitely a factor...that will in the long term make me happier.

I hope I stay this way. Disciplined with good habits. Finally on my way. I think.

Lovely Stinky Feet

My Protector is scoring some major brownie points with the girls of the house this week.

Beauty in particular is impressed.

Her Daddy went today and volunteered at the school for the skating activity. He went and tied up all the skates of her class. She was pleased as punch that’s for sure.

This both heightened by own guilt complex about never volunteering and made me so proud of my husband both at the same time.

Every year without fail Beauty turns to me one winter weekend and asks me the dreaded question:

“Mommy can you come and volunteer at the school and tie up skates for my class please?”

“Umm..What date does that fall on sweetie?” ( look in blackberry-can’t fall anywhere Mon-Friday 6am-10pm any week of the year)

“Well you have these 6 Fridays to choose from-it’s from 10:15 to 11:15am”

“Sorry Sweetie I can’t-I am at work”

Beauty slumps in her chair, hurt and distressed and I go back and forth between feeling like I should win an award for worst mom of the year and shame and anger  and so to “fix” it all I usually end up blurting out and regretting it later:

“Sweetie-I think the stay at home Mommies should go and tie up the skates-they have lots more time for stuff like this-maybe you and I can go to dinner and a movie one night soon together?”

“No Mommy lots of the working Moms come too. Stay at home Moms work too you know. You need to come. Tell your boss please”

Crap!!!!! Even if I had one moment of time to volunteer at the school will I choose to tie up skates of smelly footed children?? No way!!!! This almost beats scrubbing old toys  at a smelly old daycare at community partnership day at work! (yes I realize I can use some help in the volentering spirit department ok???)

“Is this really, really important to you sweet girl?”

“Yes Mommy it is”

“Oh..ok then. Daddy will go”

And Daddy does!!!!! Yay Dadddy!!!!! You saved the day. And your girls love you!

Ready or Not-Here We Come!

“The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken”

Samuel Johnson

For Family Night tonight, my Guy was the Director.

I always love it when it is his turn, because I never know what he is going to come up with exactly or the way he will choose to position things with the kids.

I think he did a fine job tonight.

His subject was a really, really tough one to say the least.

He spoke about Addiction.

Addiction to drugs, to alcohol, to smoking, to gambling, to biting your nails, to technology. He spoke of important things and how our bodies and brains are connected.

I like the type of dialogue we are creating with our children of open communication where we share with them our own obstacles and our challenges from our own lives and also the smart and good decisions that we have made.

There are a few things we insist on from our children and communicating with us is one of them.

We want them to come to us and we can help them if they feel peer pressured. We can teach them to keep a beer in their hand and add water to it so no one fills it up again and pressures them to have another. We can teach them ways to stand up to friends and make their own choices. We can be there for them if they get into situations that we will not be pleased about and assure them that the most important thing that matter s to us is their safety.

We are the type of parents that would pick up our child in a heartbeat if they were drunk (even though they were not allowed to drink) and shut our mouths and not say a word and just be thrilled they called for a lift. We will gladly shut our mouths any day of the week and give up any rules if our kids make safe choices.

I fundamentally disagree with imposing strict and rigid rules on teenagers when it comes to drinking, sex, smoking etc. I think it always backfires and mostly ensures that the kids do it anyways behind our backs and carry loads of guilt with them for a lifetime.

I do believe in empowering kids to make choices that are good for their health, their safety and well being.

So it was a heavy night. Chase especially looked weighted down by it all. Distraught. Disturbed by our candor and honesty. I realized that we have been treating him younger than he is. It’s time for us to talk to him more often of what is likely surrounding him in his life at school.

I was proud of my Guy tonight. He did an amazing job of opening up a channel of communication with our three children that was not there before.

It’s gonna be an interesting decade.

A Simple Truth

As we go through life, we learn.

One thing that I have learnt in phase 2 of my kid’s lives has been that the more time you spend with them, the more you enjoy them and the more they enjoy you.

The more time you spend. The easier it all gets.

What has changed for me in the last couple of years it not the amount of time I spend with my kids-but the quality of time I spend with them.

I likely spend less and less time with them as they get older. They need me less, I work more, and Hubby works more.

What I have done though is make sure that we are spending our time in ways that matter to the family. Each week there are certain special ways in which we connect and per month certain rituals that we do to that have us all come together.

These are besides our regular family dinners and holidays and ski lessons and sports etc..

They are specific to our family and to our values.

These moments always bring us back to where we belong

I have realized that tradition and ritualization is healthy for my family as much as I have struggled with certain elements around it..because it is just one more thing to plan. I have struggled with that what I need if anything, is more spontaneity in my life and not more tradition. However…I have also now realized a very simple truth. What I don’t plan does not happen.

I used to have some rituals with friends that have disappeared…because they were not planned together.

I used to have a certain day I spoke on the phone every week  with an extended family member but last year we did not plan this. It did not happen.

What I put focus on happens. What I do not..Does not. It's that simple for me.

I like the quote on my friend’s blog this week:

“Plan far enough ahead”

I think this is  important for us all to keep in mind as we make decisions now that affect the rest of our lives,

It’s likley comes  naturally for most of us that this is  important to do at work.

What about at Home?