The Perfect Vacation Diet

If any of you out there are like me, although you love having a week off to be with your kids and hang out-you also know that the week will involve a whole lot of yummy food that you would not normally eat in a work week or a week at home.

And that can be a bit scary as who wants to gain weight because of a vacation? But it happens, it seems, to the best of us unfortunately.

Well have I got the solution for you!!

The day before you go on vacation have your daughter ask you if she can borrow one of your bikinis to wear over her snowsuit for her last ski lesson since it is Beach Day at the ski hill.

Of course you think to yourself and even say aloud:

“Silly little girl of course my teensy weesy bikini will not fit over your snowsuit……it will be way too small. We better go find a fat neighbor or something to ask if you can borrow one of their huge bathing suits. I am sorry mine won’t fit.”

Well the day comes, and out of your daughter’s need to take part in this event, you go to your drawer and pull out one of your favorite bikinis and tell your daughter that you will try hard to make it fit over but that it will likely be so tight that she will be uncomfortable all afternoon and it will feel all squishy and she won’t be able to ski properly.

So she puts the snowsuit on, and you give her the bikini. She puts it over the snowsuit.

And then she says:

“Mommy it is way too big!! It is falling off of me and my snowsuit-do we have pins to fix it and make it smaller?”

And you look at her in amazement and it is a bit baggy on her.And so you stand there and shed a few tears.

Yes..yes..of course she is teeny weeny and weighs about as much as a weed and yes..yes of course your chest is  perky and nice and full and requires a larger cupsize  to support it properly …but still. Baggy???? A pin????

Crap!

Is there such a thing as reverse anorexia? Where you think you are thinner than you really are? Maybe I have this disease?

So you let her wear your pinned bikini to the hill and try to hold your head high. I mean after all thank god you have good teeth and often a good tan too to set off that bikini. And thank doubly god that super young gorgeous guy at work flirts with you all year and boosts your self esteem on a regular basis.

You get there and remark on the other little girl your daughter hangs around with and her bikini over her swimsuit and you with relief look at your daughter and say:

”OMG Sweetie they are all wearing their own little bikinis! Not their Mom’s-we did this wrong! No wonder I feel like crap!!!”

This all makes perfect sense now.

And that stupid little girl (who is supposed to be a nice little girl according to your daughter ) turns to you and says:

“This is my Mommy’s bikini”

You want to strangle her. You want to run away. You want to ask her if her Mom lost her ass in a tragic accident. And where did her breasts go anyways?

But instead of course you just smile, nod, walk away and pay close attention to what you eat on your vacation.

And ironically end up losing three pounds that week. Thank you Beach Day at Ski Mountain!

Did I mention how amazing 40 yrs old is? Wow. Truly amazing to be middle aged. Seems to be so many benefits in the beauty and confidence areas. Not!

Peace? Whatever.

I have been thinking a lot about peace lately. Who has it? Who wants it? How

much of it is needed? How to get it?

How valuable is feeling peaceful in life?

I have come to the conclusion that basically if you feel peace everything else

just falls into place. The rest- it's all peanuts. Right?

So what is peace? What is it exactly? And if it is so valuable than how do you

manage to make it part of your life-and quickly?

If you have never had much-can your order it by mail in retrospect and get even

more for all the years you were ripped off from this exceptional feeling?

And the people who have it and feel it everyday are they missing out on "bigger

and better" things and one day their peaceful states will end and the world will

come crashing down on them and say:

" You know you were too peaceful and happy and content all those years so NOW it

is payback time!!!"

Or is peace, and joy and acceptance a state in itself that has no real beginning

or end?

Is peace something you need to practice or is it learned? Is it like red hair

that is handed out to some and not to others? A chosen special few?

Where does it come from exactly and how do you get it? I look at the people

around me and most don't have it either.  But I also seem to attract a few

really close people around me who do have this golden, coveted, illuminated

state around them and be able to live in it in what seems like an endless

perpetual state. No matter what else is going on in their lives. 

I have decided to find out and get some for myself. I want to order whatever she

is having-it looks good.

So why is it some of our hearts get to be peaceful and some of our hearts don't

seem to possess  that natural rhythm?

How is someone with both good and bad parts of life get to think peaceful and

serene thoughts  and smile and feel joy... while others who appear to have it

all run, around in circles trying to make their brain stop thinking, and

critiquing and searching 24 hrs per day?  Get to have brains in a constant

unpeaceful -somewhat neurotic states? That does not seem to be fair now does it?

Anxiety meds? A good yoga class? Happiness? Better sex? A good massage?

And how can you not have Peace when life is Perfect? How can that possibly be?

Is it something that happens to you as a kid that does not give you the right to

this feeling? Or something that does not happen? If you don't even know what

causes peace what hope in hell do you have of giving it to your own children?

Can peace be shared? If someone has a lot can they give you half? Give you some?

A tiny little piece-even for a day so you know what you may be missing?

Often I associate peace with "Whatever" people. People who go through life

....pretty much not getting stressed about much.....and thinking "whatever will

be will be". To be honest...I used to be more critical of this seemingly

clueless (although blissful) attitude. I used to think these" whatever" people

were seriously missing out on something.

But I am now starting to ponder if "whatever" is the actual state that one must

be in to invite peace into their lives permanentely. Is whatever less of what I

assume to be repression  and more a state of acceptance?

Is possible to be whatever and also to be deliberate, minty and influential too?

I think it is. Actually I am now convinced it is. I have let enough whatever

people deep into my heart and soul lately to know that these people are pure and

utterly powerful, wonderful, beautiful, remarkable gems. These people have silent power. They will let you shine-but they are the light.

So just like happiness can be learned in some ways..I feel peace can be taught.

I think unlike happiness which many of us through a lifetime have some

experience with-peace may need to be approached quite differently.

You may have to ask for peace in your life. You may have to get down on your

knees and outright beg for it.

Peaceful people unfortunately don't necessarily realize that they might need to

share and teach and give you some of these important lessons. They might very

peacefully and happily sit back and let you come to them and ask.

When you are good and ready. If you ever get there that is. And if you don't, that surely won't fluster them either.

So yes I think peace is a very big part of happiness in life. To accept. To

Trust. To Feel. To Be. To Smile. To feel good. To repress. To forgive. To

forget. To linger a little longer. To love a little more. To accept those around

you for who they are.

To accept yourself for who you are and who you will never be.

To be ok with that.

It sounds like a wonderful thing to aspire to. However  if I am really being

honest with myself as much as I want peace to be part of my life and know it

would be good for me....it just sounds a bit dull too. Maybe peace isn't for

everybody?

But, it would certainly be nice to try it-to then know for sure. I would like very much to experience what peace feels like.

 I am quite sure I will never be a Whatever Girl, however I would certainly like to care less a whole lot more often.

I would like to trade half of my saavy and strategic nature for plain old peace. Is that too much to ask?

Whatever. It's all good. 

TopNotch

 
Now that is what I call skiing!!!! 
I understand now why my Swiss buddies think our Laurentian skiing is second class. After skiing Stowe I realized..we have been skiing on hills not 
mountains.

I can't wait to take our family to the Swiss Alps one day. Stowe was breathtakingly beautiful. Perfect powder. Sunshine. Loved every 
minute (thank goodness since at the price we paid for 5 of us each minute 
counted!) 


Topnotch Resort, Stowe Vermont is our place. Love the outdoor pools and Jacuzzis overlooking the picturesque mountains, the big fuzzy white robes and the free homemade hot cocoa and cookies at 4pm.
We took our kids this time, where usually has been "our" spot. They loved it too- especially the skiing. Don't think we will go back to Stowe ever again without hitting the slopes with our kids. The skiing was incredible and so was the après ski in the pool....  

A wonderful Mexican meal out, sleeping in each other’s beds at night, tons of tickling and laughing and hanging out. Watching Birth Stories in the mornings and weird shows late into the night (god boys have weird humor). 
Eating eggs and smoothies and yummy jam in our robes in the fancy restaurant in the morning. Enjoying all our crazy conversations. Laughing and loving each other. 
Blackberries and cells away. Facebook and computers gone. Our family of Five. 

The 80-20 thing as usual. 80 I loved-20 percent frustrated us. They frustrated us. With all the good times came fights, and disagreements and squabbles and hyperness. Rudeness and bad table manners. Disobedience and not listening. 
That bothered both of us. A lot. It always does. Is it that our expectations are too high? Our kid’s behavior too bad?  I will write about it in another post  "Transitions" when I get my head around it a bit more.
Our kids are great at life-bad at transitions. So are we. 

We love sharing a room the 5 of us for all those snuggly cozy moments we get-but by the end of three days of stepping over underwear and hearing them battle it over what show to watch and who sits where-we are ready to flush them down the toilet!!!! 
But. I can complain about those moments (always because I want to keep it real and my accounts of our lives realistic) but I loved this getaway with our kids. 
From Beauty saying "Am I digested enough??" before going into the pool after a meal- to Chase with his gorgeous no gel hair and scruffy looks away from the eyes of his peers and Bear’s little cuddles at night with his sister and his blue eyes turning the loveliest shade of green lately.....in some ways I could not get enough of them. 
Dancing out as a family in a line after Mexican-speaking French so no one 
understands what we are saying and gliding down the mountains of Stowe-as a unit-all together doing what we do best. Skiing, leisure and being together. 
We all love the feel of the mountain, the jumps, the trails, the effortlessness 
of skiing as we master it more and more (well the 4 of their mastery anyways!) 

The way our legs ache from the spring snow and the long trails. 
A sense of pride and accomplishment from Hubby and I that although they may be little whiners and annoying at times (often!) they are beautiful and graceful and talented skiers. They are getting to be with snow the way they have always been with water. It is who they are-it is in their bones. 

And we did that. Those hundreds of hours of dedicated lessons and times and badges and weekends. It has all paid off- we committed to a family sport and they all LOVE it. Hallelujah! We did something right! We can't wait to teach our kid’s own kids one day water and snow. 
So Stowe was 80 percent amazing. I come back to Trent tonight mostly content, happy and spent with my little munchkins safely tucked into bed. They are so sweet when they are silent. 
As for the other 20 percent? I really don't know to be honest. I am trying to 
figure out why so often our kids get on our nerves on our vacations and that we come back feeling mostly good but vaguely unsettled too. I am trying to figure out if it is us..or is it them? Is it something we can fix through changing? Certain habits? Lessening expectations? Becoming stricter on some things or more lenient on others? 

If we lived in France would life be easier with kids if we did it the French way? 

"Onst your energy be attracted to a train wreckage than to a smoothly running system?" 

I will keep you posted-so stay tuned! 

All I know is that I love this family. Fiercely and that all the moments we have together are memorable. Like me...my kids are complex and intracte-fiesty and full of energy. So as a unit.....we are something else:) 
So I loved our getaway all in all. I would do it again..and again. Lucky for me I also love "my other life". I love my work-and my "other crazy gang" I love the break and being disconnected-but I love my crazy days there too and a part of me can't wait to get back. Thank goodness this is a vacation and not my life…I love being with my kids but could never, ever do this all the time. I need my work in the way others need oxygen and sleep.
The other part of me will very happily park my butt on my cottage couch for the remaining 4 days and read "Bringing up Bebe" and a whole pile of glamour magazines. And I will ski a whole bunch more hills.
I am glad I love both my lives and that each has the ability to make me a little flustered and hot and bothered at times. I guess in the end-I bring that out in people and the places I am….and they bring it out in me. 
I guess when it comes down to it I would not like it any other way than a bit 
wild, unpredictable and chaotic. It is what I love...and what I attract..and how it is. 
I will take it. I want it. I covet it and adore it. 

So although I might aim for 90-10 on our next family getaway-inside I am secretly thrilled that my three kids have personality. Each unique but each a load of charm and charisma-so much so that it gets the best of us sometimes and exhausts us often. 
I like that they have it in them......to not be perfect and far from it-but still to sparkle in their own way all the time sparkling little blasts of 
energy. It's these imperfections that keep me wanting more and loving every single ounce of them every single day. 

Stowe-you Rock. Hubby..you rock too. Will be glad to steal a few moments alone with you in the next few days. Love sleeping with our babies-but miss our pillow talk. I miss you
I love winter now every bit as much as summer. 

I can honestly say that weather is truly not mattering much anymore. 

Building Foundations

There is a house lot that went for sale last spring near where our cottage is, and each time I pass it now the same thought comes to mind:

God those people who bought it had the ability to see potential

That lot was priced very reasonably  when we went to look at it-which is very unusual for this area. The people who ended up buying it tore down the house that was on it and have built a gorgeous dream cottage.

When Hubby and I went to see it we did not possess the ability to see past the fact that it shared a passage way with its neighbor, it did not have a wide space to build on, it was essentially set behind another house etc….

As we look at it now, it is as though those obstacles that we saw as barriers no longer exist. The road is paved in a way that each neighbor has their own access which also now has the house not appear to be behind another one. They have taken every challenge that house had and made something beautiful of it. From an amazing side patio with a fireplace to utilizing the building close to the water rights that the house possess to maximize the water views with a gorgeous solarium.

I feel shamed each time I walk by that we could not see this when we first looked at it. That we created barriers that were not there; that we could not see further than what met our eye.

And this is strange for both of us since we have always thought we have possessed this ability especially as it relates to renovations. Our house is unrecognizable and had been on the market for years-we have turned it into the kind of home that on a regular basis invites notes in the mailbox of people wanting to buy it. We took what no one else wanted or could deal with and transformed it. Have we lost that ability now?

Even at our present cottage now-we know what we need to transform a space-we thought this was inherent to our natures and abilities. We thought we could see beyond what is. I guess not all the time.

So as I looked at that house today and I admired the owner’s ability to see further-I thought of how life is full of these opportunities to build if we look hard enough.I find it comforting to know that very often if we are able to look beyond what currently is we can build our dreams.

We can take our family and mold it into what each member needs, we can become someone to our partner who we may not have thought we were capable of being; we can become more capable at work in areas that we have no knowledge of. We can become a better friend and ask for more of what we need.

We can take a good lot or foundation and make it amazing. If only we can see that potential and act on it; if we can sell that vision to the others around us.

If we can articulate and share that vision with the people we love. If we can make them believe us that we can build a beautiful home.

If they want to live there with us. And if they don’t to have the strength to figure out why not?

So as my Protector and I passed by that beautiful construction today, I thought of all these things, and realized that for me life is really like a lot waiting to be built on. Sometimes we are in the mood for renovations and constructions and sometimes we are not. Nevertheless, we should always tap into our ability to see further and brighter and more.

We should always hold ourselves and the others around us capable of the ability to envision, plan, build and live in…together.

We should always know that we have the ability to transform as long as solid foundations are there.

 We should know that transformation begins with ourselves  by the very nature of our capacity to believe in change..and not only be willing..but to welcome this into our lives in the hope that what we build-will be even better than what we ever could have imagined.