If any of you out there are like me, although you love having a week off to be with your kids and hang out-you also know that the week will involve a whole lot of yummy food that you would not normally eat in a work week or a week at home.
And that can be a bit scary as who wants to gain weight because of a vacation? But it happens, it seems, to the best of us unfortunately.
Well have I got the solution for you!!
The day before you go on vacation have your daughter ask you if she can borrow one of your bikinis to wear over her snowsuit for her last ski lesson since it is Beach Day at the ski hill.
Of course you think to yourself and even say aloud:
“Silly little girl of course my teensy weesy bikini will not fit over your snowsuit……it will be way too small. We better go find a fat neighbor or something to ask if you can borrow one of their huge bathing suits. I am sorry mine won’t fit.”
Well the day comes, and out of your daughter’s need to take part in this event, you go to your drawer and pull out one of your favorite bikinis and tell your daughter that you will try hard to make it fit over but that it will likely be so tight that she will be uncomfortable all afternoon and it will feel all squishy and she won’t be able to ski properly.
So she puts the snowsuit on, and you give her the bikini. She puts it over the snowsuit.
And then she says:
“Mommy it is way too big!! It is falling off of me and my snowsuit-do we have pins to fix it and make it smaller?”
And you look at her in amazement and it is a bit baggy on her.And so you stand there and shed a few tears.
Yes..yes..of course she is teeny weeny and weighs about as much as a weed and yes..yes of course your chest is perky and nice and full and requires a larger cupsize to support it properly …but still. Baggy???? A pin????
Crap!
Is there such a thing as reverse anorexia? Where you think you are thinner than you really are? Maybe I have this disease?
So you let her wear your pinned bikini to the hill and try to hold your head high. I mean after all thank god you have good teeth and often a good tan too to set off that bikini. And thank doubly god that super young gorgeous guy at work flirts with you all year and boosts your self esteem on a regular basis.
You get there and remark on the other little girl your daughter hangs around with and her bikini over her swimsuit and you with relief look at your daughter and say:
”OMG Sweetie they are all wearing their own little bikinis! Not their Mom’s-we did this wrong! No wonder I feel like crap!!!”
This all makes perfect sense now.
”OMG Sweetie they are all wearing their own little bikinis! Not their Mom’s-we did this wrong! No wonder I feel like crap!!!”
This all makes perfect sense now.
And that stupid little girl (who is supposed to be a nice little girl according to your daughter ) turns to you and says:
“This is my Mommy’s bikini”
You want to strangle her. You want to run away. You want to ask her if her Mom lost her ass in a tragic accident. And where did her breasts go anyways?
But instead of course you just smile, nod, walk away and pay close attention to what you eat on your vacation.
And ironically end up losing three pounds that week. Thank you Beach Day at Ski Mountain!
Did I mention how amazing 40 yrs old is? Wow. Truly amazing to be middle aged. Seems to be so many benefits in the beauty and confidence areas. Not!
