Christmas Cheer

They go Christmas and Birthday shopping for each other.

It’s pretty funny to watch: “I will buy you something for 20 dollars if you give me a gift card for 20$”

“I can’t afford 20$ all I have is 10$ I am broke!”

I have learnt enough from the 62 tween/ teen books I have read so far this year to stay out of it. Great experience for them to learn from.

At home we can hear the three of them talk and we are peeeing our pants laughing:

“Where should we hide the gifts?”

Chase” We can’t hide them in my room then they will be lost for sure”

Beauty” Same for me-lost if we hide them there”

Bear” We can hide them in my room-I won’t lose them”

Chase and Beauty “I think we should even hide your gifts in your closet too-if not there is no chance you will get them because they will be lost”

Bear: “Ok that is good. I won’t look at them. I will just shut my eyes when I go into the closet each day”

At least they know their strengths and weaknesses right!!!!

 

PS-And that same” organized no lose presents in closet guy” also said a beautiful grace last night for our first praying Sunday meal. He lit a candle had us bow our heads and said it as though he had ever attended church!!!

Wow! And I was very clear to the kids that when we say “Dear God” that that can mean anything they want. It can be God as others think, God as a loved one in Heaven, God as nature, God as power, God as a word that means gratitude etc..it can mean anything they want and we just use a common word.

Since writing this on blog I have had many  concerned comments that it is just plain weird to start praying on Sundays and believing in heaven and that it  might be negative for the kids. Agree weird yes. Agree bad for kids. No.

Believing takes on many forms…intellectually overnight did I start believing? If course not! Emotionally do I think a prayer of gratitude here and there and encouraging the concept of heaven to the family is possible? Yes I do.

I believe that you should believe what is right for you at that time of place in your life. I beleive we choose what bwe beleive and what we do not.

I will give it a little try and keep you posted.

Thanks for all your concern though seriously and for looking out for me!. Love discussing the topic of religion.

TV Pick for Tweens and Teens

 I Love watching the show Survivor as a family.I find it so thrilling, fun, and mostly educational.

That show is REAL life I am telling you and the kids just learn so much about relationships, team, integrity, lack of it, winning, losing and the choices we need to make to get ahead in life, or to be fair, or to stick by our values etc…

I love that they see what a player does to a group,. And what others disrespect and respect. I love that they identify who are the people who will win “because of course everyone loves them” and who would get voted out at the end because “they suck and everyone hates them”

Welcome to the world of business my darlings. My life is Survivor most days of the week in many ways!

I always liked this show but watching it with the kids brings it to a whole new and exciting level. I have heard many disagree and say that kids should not watch it. I feel very differently. To me that is like telling kids who their friends should or should not be, or who they can or cannot talk to on Facebook in terms of kids their own age who might be good or bad influences. I think kids need to see the good and the bad, and be exposed to it. I think it makes them make very good decisions in life, decisions that they own based on their own experience and point of view. I don’t believe in sheltering kids especially after the age of 12yrs old.

I like shows that mirror life both in good and bad ways. I love it especially since we are there beside them and can discuss and discuss together.

We have already planned that over the X-mas holidays we are watching a 6 part series on the Holocaust another subject the kids are fascinated by and very appalled by so makes for great discussions.

Very uplifting holidays eh? What happened to Charlie Brown Christmas? No wonder our elf is named after a part of the penis!!! (sshhh!)

Bring it on! Did I mention how much I love having tweens and teens??????

I seriously hated Bambi, the Muppets and Barney. Caillou and Aladdin were pretty ok cool.

I am so excited to have three new “friends” in my life. Especially that unlike my husband they actually stay awake to watch movies with me.

Ranting Raving 40!

You know you are getting really old when…

You become your Mother.

Tonight I am going out with my Mom to thank her for babysitting for two weeks. Big night downtown, play, dinner afterwards, frozen yogurt the whole nine yards. Something to be fancy for right?  

But instead of wearing a nice outfit and high boots and a cute coat and scarf….

I brought clothes to change into from work. Ewwww.

Yoga pants, a warm winter coat and running shoes.

Shoot me now.

I have never done this. Ever. Ok I am not Ms big high heels more like clunky funky ones. I am not Ms. don’t wear a coat but a sweater but make sure my parkas are tailored and cute. I never ever wear running shoes as they are a complete fashion killer and outfit destroyer.

However on my Happiness Project one of my principles is to “be kind to myself and to others” This morning I woke up, saw the snow…and decided to choose plain old comfort over looking like a young girl or a yummy mommy.

And I thought of my Mom and that she would likely wear in this situation and what she has been doing since I was a teenager and she turned 40 . And I decided to officially join the over 40 club! And my Mom although often found in yoga sweats and running shoes is GORGEUS!!! I can do this too!

I always wondered why women of a certain age wear ski coats and running shoes often. It’s for comfort! !!! When they have to actually walk somewhere! I get it! I did it the other night at Justin Beiber concert and it was heaven! And I don’t think anyone at all notices or cares anyways! When you are 40 the boys stop looking at you as much anyways and the girls you don’t have the energy to really care what they think of you.

And your husband? Well he is just plain grateful that you are his personal secretary and he gets to have sex once a monthJ

So just saying………I pray and pray and pray (which I forgot to do my first Sunday home btw) that I don’t start dressing like this all the time. I mean it is nice to be cozy but I think my pyjamas at the dinner table are sufficient don't you?

PS-Beauty and Gratitude.

Nope. Nada. Wish I had better news.

I had to approach her lat night and although she was very affected and reactive and apologetic and sorry and loving and kind and listened well...
but she never mentioned it again today or talked about it again.
I have my work cut out for me in the realms of gratefulness with my daughter don't I?

And despite my best intentions I was so disappointed that I actaully had tears running down my cheeks as I told her it made me sad she did not thank me for the concert. I hate doing that.

Anyways it has been a really, really rough week for us on so many levels this being the smallest thing we are dealing with. This is blog worthy but not a big deal.

When you get back from vactaion the shit really does hit the fan doesn't it???
So much going on it seems with every member of the family in every big way possible and complex stuff around new potentail new office for Hubby etc...

I feel like I have been negotiating for 6 weeks. Oh ya...I have! I just don't stop until I get what I want but man does it take alot of energy.

I have had better weeks that is for sure.

Gotta go gotta make a list of 25 places to hide an elf.  Oh wait I have 350 emails I need to action first! Do you see why I find traditions hard?

oops Scrooge is coming out..better go watch something joyful about Christamas to change my mood quickly!

Awestruck and the Importance of Gratitude

Last night at the Justin Beiber concert my daughter had Major Beiber Fever. I took her and her friend as both their birthday presents. It was a really big gift and a really big deal.

I was in awe of Beauty last night, completely in awe. On in the positive sense and one in the negative sense. I saw a part of my daughter that pleasantly delighted me and another side of her that really disappointed me.

I learned a lot last night.

On the positive side? This girl is a COMPLETE party animal. And I mean over the top wild. She screamed and screamed and danced and sang for 4 hrs straight. There were hundreds of older girls behind her that got tired and sat down well before she did. And many thousands of younger girls whose screams were much softer and less excited than hers. Her little hips and butt swayed expertly to the music all night long, her face smiled and grinned and cried tears of joy, her pulse heightened when Beibes took off his shirt and she literally almost fainted, she beautifully sang every single word of every single song until her voice was literally gone. Until 20 minutes before then end and then she calmed down and sat down and rested. She was beat. Then she started all over for the encores.

I was in awe of this side of my daughter. So incredibly different than the way I am wired. Or her Dad. Or her brothers. Who is she?

My wild child. My passionate child. My child who has ZERO concern for if others are looking at her or listening to her or what they think or do not think. If she is passionate-she goes for it in what she makes look like a graceful and effortless and completely uninhibited way. She is a leader in every sense of the word and not a follower. She will make an incredible business woman one day.

I am certain she is they type of girl I would have loved to be friends with as a child. She would have intimadated me a bit too and maybe bossed me around a bit too much for my liking-but boy is this girl fun and creative. And sure of herself. Her brothers can wrestle her to the ground and her repsonse is always : "Again!"

I was introduced to this side of my girl last night.

But….she did not say thanks  properly to me. Yet that is. I am still holding out and giving her tonight. But I was very very disappointed in her that something that was so exciting for her and expensive for me, and her first concert, and such a wonderful experience that she did not express gratitude in the people way.

It made me feel overlooked, and unappreciated and it made me feel….mad at her and angry at her. It made me disappointed that everything I taught he…was not actioned. Did I fail? Yes I did. So maybe tonight she will surprise me? And tell me how much fun she had and appreciated the special night for her and her friend. Her friend expressed lots of gratitude and that was so sweet and appreciated and Beauty said nothing. She had the perfect chance.

It made me realize how a little gratitude goes a long long way and that we are more than happy to do nice things for people if they could just take the time out to say a word of thanks. I try to personally be so conscious of this. If I receive a nice gift to always put it top of my list to say thank-you. And even more importantly tell the generous giver how I am using it “wow love listening to the CD in my car you made my day ....or got lots of compliments on that gorgeous bracelet” or if not a gift then a word of appreciation about my relationship about that person or how they impact me.

And there is never time to do this. I make time. Because that is a critical value of mine and it makes me feel good and most importantly the other person feel recognized

Clearly I have not handed down this trait and important lesson to Ms. Bieber Fever have I? And that is where being a parent is so hard.  We drop the ball and it hurts to recognize that doesn't it? 

I have thought of gratitude often lately. On one of my Bff’s blogs that talks a lot with Step-Parenting and blended families the role of Stepmom is often describes that it comes along with not so much recognition and gratitude. And this must be so difficult when you think about it? To do beautiful things and to try your hardest all day long and have no recognition and not only no gratitude, but also resentment often for the Stepmom role.

My heart went out to my friend the other day as I saw firsthand a Stepmom being judged and unappreciated. A group of Moms were at parent teacher meetings and when she came with her husband (the kid's Dad) I heard all the other parents talking afterwards about it and whispering what right did she have to be there? And the father is not a widow so what business does she have? Why is she sticking her nose into the parents business? What business is it of here was the teacher says about the stepchild? Society does not show gratitude for the Stepparent role that is certain, and I felt for my friend and the walls she must come up against often on her journey.  Walls filled with not being recognized when what you do is  not even average butoutstanding.

And I felt some of that last night myself and I did not like it one single bit.

So as I sat there with my hip swinging girl moving to the beat I realized that she may need a lot from me, but I need some stuff from her too.

And a simple hug, and a big thank you and a “that was the most amazing night Mommy and I loved it” would have gone along way for my soul, our relationship and for her ever having the chance again to be treated to such a special event.

So I will keep you posted if Ms. Beiber lover tonight changes her way. Maybe gratitude is not instantaneous? Maybe my expectations and timelines are too high?

I really hope so and that tomorrow I can write a PS blog to this one saying I judged to quickly and that I am completely and positively in awe all around.

C’mon beauty. A little note? A call? Pretty please?

Bad at Real Life?

Coming back from vacation is hard.

I am certain it is for everybody. For me I often think that what makes  me real life seem so hard is taking an ultimate break from it….which makes me realize how hard it really is.

I looked at Hubby this week and said”God I am so much better and so much more relaxed on vacation!!!”

His answer:

“Well Duh…”

Of course I am not the only one right who feels at her best on vacation-who wouldn’t?  Vacation is so easy. And when I came back for the first two days I juts keep repeating over and over and over again in my head”god I suck at real life”

But it is not true! I don’t suck at all at real life! What I really suck at is transition. The transition between the two. That’s why I have to have longer vacations to maximize the transitionsJ)

So by today I feel like I am enjoying my real life again more. For some reason the month of December just kills me. When you and your family are skiers amongst plenty of other winter sports the preparation is really hard and lots of work. It never seem to end. And this year for the first time in what seems like years my kids had to go and grow so nothing really fits. There were some serious advantages of having midgets all these years weren’t there?

Also all 4 birthdays in family except my own fall within 5 weeks of Christmas, Dec 6, Dec 31, Jan 17 and Feb 4. All great fun but a lot of works to. Then comes the hosting of 28 people for X-mas itself.

But that is nothing compared to the next couple of months at work.  There is so much work going on right now (especially that I was on vacation for 2 weeks) that it’s hard to know when anything but work will fit in there.So ya I don’t complain very often, hardly at all. But right now I am complaining. I am tired. See what vacation does to me? I am like the Energizer Bunny-if I dare stop I seem to run out of fuel

Today however, we had a gorgeous and perfect day at the cottage. Got a ton done on cmputer and in my agenda in front of the fire but both our goals this weekend was to just basically spend time with the kids, reconnect with them, align them for the next semester, cook with them, help them with any homework they needed, watch movies and eat yummy food. And we did all that and I loved every minute of it. Nothing makes the perfect Sunday for me better than our family of five, a nice fire, good food and a bunch of lists.

We will top it all off before we head home with achieving two goals in one. Some serious multitasking. They need to go through reports cards with us and set objectives and we need to take a Jacuzzi. Therefore they are going to read us their report cards while we are in the Jacuzzi. Win win.

So all that to say as much as I love vacation I only love it so much because I get to come home after. And home is only so spectacular because I miss it when I am on vacation.

And that is why……more importantly than anything else in the world. I must always keep my job. I must never ever lose sight of that fact that that is what keeps me going, keeps me moving, keeps me stimulated and high strung. It’s what pays for the vacations. And keeps me sane. And makes those margaritas by the sunsets all that more pleasant and rewarding…knowing full well what awaits me at home…until the next vacation.

I know boring post!!!!! Sorry! If you are not asleep by now perhaps you will accept my apology?

SnowBallz 2012

Winter has officially begun! We arrived at the cottage this afternoon and half way there we saw tons of snow on the ground and blowing around.

I have honestly never seen my kids so excited. They ran out of the car and started rolling down the big hill in front of our house. Then they ran in the garage and put old skis on their feet and got out the old too small snowboards and started “skiing” down the same hill.

My three kids are total ski buffs. I could almost picture them all going off to teach skiing in BC one day and dropping out of University. Not going to happen!! But I can still picture them wanting to do it. And they can on Christmas break.

Snow=Skiing. And they are all officially obsessed. I am so happy that they have a passion for this that comes entirely from their own doing. Yahoo!And it is cottage friendly-double yay!

Right now they are in the kitchen making hot chocolate in this gift they were given last year that I had thought they had forgotten about and was going to regift. They are all sitting around the counter with their mugs filled with cinnamon and chocolate and syrup? That is so cute (between yelling at each other to shut up).

And we started a new tradition today…I am so proud of us!!! We succumbed and bought and ELF on the Shelf like the millions of others we know. There are many I know who do this but is was sister Savvy’s real inspiration who got me really interested because she does it the bestJ

So we named our Elf…not sweet elf..or nice Christmas Elf… The kids named ours: SnowBallz.

Very indicative of our family indeed!!! The boys wanted to name it just “Ballz” but we said no.

You see our kids, like most kids are not allowed to swear in our home. If they do then they get charged a dollar each time. Each month I collect some, which makes my budget a bit better over time. But we are also not very strict. Theree are certain “bad” words that we just allow and turn our back on. Basket C I call it.

So Balls is a very popular word in our home. They think it is bad and very funny. And we accept it. I just never realized that it will be part of our Christmas traditions for generations to come!

So I am doing Elf on the Shelf but adjusted to our way.

Elf hidden at night and not in morning (hello I am sleeping at 6am or very groggy and crabby!)

Elf will not just be just hidden my us. Every family member and Didi will get a turn on the same day each week to shake it up a bit.

Elf will sometimes just be hidden, sometimes bring a treat, sometimes teach a value, sometimes deliver an important message to us, sometimes have us doing good deeds etc… Our elf is going to be super active!!!

So let’s see how I do with this new tradition. Sounds pretty industrious and energy sucking but also soooooo much fun. The kids were very excited and it reminded me of the importance of traditions. As I mentioned before I am great at weekly, daily, monthly traditions and for some weird reason less good at the really traditional important ones.

Sure I do Christmas and Easter and every other holiday cheerfully and wonderfully. But often …I can’t say I enjoy every minute of it even if I pull them off super well.

But this Elf..our elf…SnowBallz? I think he is going to change that. I think he is going to kick that hidden Scrooge right out of me and bring a bit of Heaven inside.

One thing I am convinced of: I will appreciate Elf more than advent calendars. My kids tend to be the type that eat all the chocolate in the first 5 days…how fun is that??? I know I know my entire fault to allow such monstrosities, but again Basket C for me.

Basket A is full enough with loving your siblings, making sure to spend every weekend at the cottage with your parents, getting into the best schools and staying there, having chores, cooking with us, hugging and cuddling with us often, and respecting your life enough to not put it in danger too often. These are expected of you if you are living with us. Just do it!

Basket B is also pretty full of such things as wear deodorant if you can so you don’t smell, try not to scream and shout every moment of every day, try to eat wheat brown bread opposed to white, hand in assignments that are legible usually and try as hard as possible to clean the wax out of your ears every so often. Please try hard at these behaviors but we will still let you live with us if you fail.

So I look forward to our elf and what it will bring us.

I am already excited for next Saturday Dec 1^st!!!!!!

(Normally I could not care less about this stuff)
See! Retuning has begun!