Last night at the Justin Beiber concert my daughter had Major Beiber Fever. I took her and her friend as both their birthday presents. It was a really big gift and a really big deal.
I was in awe
of Beauty last night, completely in awe. On in the positive sense and one in
the negative sense. I saw a part of my daughter that pleasantly delighted me
and another side of her that really disappointed me.
I learned a
lot last night.
On the
positive side? This girl is a COMPLETE party animal. And I mean over the top
wild. She screamed and screamed and danced and sang for 4 hrs straight. There were
hundreds of older girls behind her that got tired and sat down well before she
did. And many thousands of younger girls whose screams were much softer and
less excited than hers. Her little hips and butt swayed expertly to the music all
night long, her face smiled and grinned and cried tears of joy, her pulse heightened
when Beibes took off his shirt and she literally almost fainted, she
beautifully sang every single word of every single song until her voice was
literally gone. Until 20 minutes before then end and then she calmed down and
sat down and rested. She was beat. Then she started all over for the encores.
I was in awe
of this side of my daughter. So incredibly different than the way I am wired. Or
her Dad. Or her brothers. Who is she?
My wild
child. My passionate child. My child who has ZERO concern for if others are
looking at her or listening to her or what they think or do not think. If she
is passionate-she goes for it in what she makes look like a graceful and effortless and
completely uninhibited way. She is a leader in every sense of the word and not
a follower. She will make an incredible business woman one day.
I am certain
she is they type of girl I would have loved to be friends with as a child. She would have intimadated me a bit too and maybe bossed me around a bit too much for my liking-but boy is this girl fun and creative. And sure of herself. Her brothers can wrestle her to the ground and her repsonse is always : "Again!"
I was introduced
to this side of my girl last night.
But….she did not say thanks properly
to me. Yet that is. I am still holding out and giving her tonight. But I was
very very disappointed in her that something that was so exciting for her and
expensive for me, and her first concert, and such a wonderful experience that
she did not express gratitude in the people way.
It made me
feel overlooked, and unappreciated and it made me feel….mad at her and angry at
her. It made me disappointed that everything I taught he…was not actioned. Did I
fail? Yes I did. So maybe
tonight she will surprise me? And tell me how much fun she had and appreciated
the special night for her and her friend. Her friend expressed lots of
gratitude and that was so sweet and appreciated and Beauty said nothing. She had the perfect chance.
It made me realize
how a little gratitude goes a long long way and that we are more than happy to
do nice things for people if they could just take the time out to say a word of
thanks. I try to personally be so conscious of this. If I receive a nice gift
to always put it top of my list to say thank-you. And even more importantly
tell the generous giver how I am using it “wow love listening to the CD in my
car you made my day ....or got lots of compliments on that gorgeous bracelet” or if
not a gift then a word of appreciation about my relationship about that person
or how they impact me.
And there is never time to do this. I make time. Because that is a
critical value of mine and it makes me feel good and most importantly the other
person feel recognized
Clearly I have not handed down this
trait and important lesson to Ms. Bieber Fever have I? And that is where being a parent is
so hard. We drop the ball and it hurts to recognize that doesn't it?
I have
thought of gratitude often lately. On one of my Bff’s blogs that talks a lot with
Step-Parenting and blended families the role of Stepmom is often describes that
it comes along with not so much recognition and gratitude. And this must be so
difficult when you think about it? To do beautiful things and to try your
hardest all day long and have no recognition and not only no gratitude, but
also resentment often for the Stepmom role.
My heart
went out to my friend the other day as I saw firsthand a Stepmom being judged and unappreciated.
A group of Moms were at parent teacher meetings and when she came with her husband
(the kid's Dad) I heard all the other parents talking afterwards about it and
whispering what right did she have to be there? And the father is not a widow
so what business does she have? Why is she sticking her nose into the parents business? What business is it of here was
the teacher says about the stepchild? Society does not show gratitude for the
Stepparent role that is certain, and I felt for my friend and the walls she must come
up against often on her journey. Walls
filled with not being recognized when what you do is not even average butoutstanding.
And I felt
some of that last night myself and I did not like it one single bit.
So as I sat
there with my hip swinging girl moving to the beat I realized that she may need
a lot from me, but I need some stuff from her too.
And a simple
hug, and a big thank you and a “that was the most amazing night Mommy and I loved
it” would have gone along way for my soul, our relationship and for her ever
having the chance again to be treated to such a special event.
So I will
keep you posted if Ms. Beiber lover tonight changes her way. Maybe gratitude is
not instantaneous? Maybe my expectations and timelines are too high?
I really hope
so and that tomorrow I can write a PS blog to this one saying I judged to quickly and that I am completely and positively in awe all around.
C’mon beauty.
A little note? A call? Pretty please?
