Good Friends and Good Times

Disclaimer!!!! Sorry these pictures are wierd! Blogger in 2013 has changed inserting images it seems. Plus the fact that my cleaning lady is sick and I am trying to work and blog and do laundry all at once today, plus the fact I have no idea how to download my good pics from my iphone. Equals:
Wierd pics with no kids in them. Ones where I look ugly and normally delete. Disjointed and make no sense and tell no story. Worked with what I had on hubby's phone sorry all kiddies!!!!! Savvy I know I know...we have so many more picsw..I just cant figure it out!!!!

The Holidays are filled with so much. Good food, good drink, good weather, good books. However the things that always stand out for me the most are the good times with my family and the good times with our friends.

What I have so appreciated over the years is the way that no matter what we always make time for our friends and they make time for us. The same goes for our close family.

We see our friends and family at very predictable times of the years and pretty much do the same things year after year and for us all this is really the winning formula. We don’t leave getting together to chance-it is too precious. It is scheduled months and months ahead and sometimes even a year ahead. We are all committed and we all make it happen. So yes there are some spontaneous things in between but the important parts are planned and happen.

And what we have noticed too is that our friends each give us different things and gifts in our lives. Our time spent with them is so different and so unique.

The best thing about the friends we see is the gifts it gives our kids..Friends like cousins, and that type of community is hard to come by. Our kids can count on the fact that they see their various buddies for summer pool party, Regatta at Holiday, summer at Trent, pool parties on Bathhurst, trips to Toronto and Niagara, New Years at Sweethearts, meetings half ways in Kingston, winter fun at Trent etc…..

It is something solid in their lives they can depend on and I am thrilled to be able to give them that.So as I say goodbye to the holidays I also say a word of thanks for the good times we shared with our buddies:

Sweethearts and Holiday hightlights: the messy porch full of boots that prevents us to the basement but reminds us of the chaotic lives we share, tobogganing and kill joys, hockey and forcing helmets, sitting by the fire the six of us as often as possible, Sweethearts truck and “my truck is stuck heehee, chairs being delivered and truck stuck again, sausage stew and yummies, the kids having a blast as usual, New years and dancing, new years and kids running outside at midnight, lots and lots and lots of kids everywhere,subways sandwich iditos, lots of blond hair, lots of good times. Sweethheart toast and commitment to always always be together and make time for each other, saying grace with two catholic girls, going around the table and saying what we are thankful for.

 

Highlights with Savvys :

All the kids reunited and excited to see each other, lots and lots of hats on, boys and boys and boys! Puberty for twoJ) Dances by the girls, nighttimes beautiful skate in the park, Savvy and wanting to skate alone, skating and pictures, tobogganing and 4 by 4 tales, lots of muffins and doughnuts and toaster strudels, big chili and chili praise, Sam’s amazing grace!, chatting by the fire, talking about being 40 and above, skiing and the 45 minute decent, poutine buying for the godson, the better ski hill and Zandra’s  great ski, Sam and Josh falling asleep almost during Thai , the no fortune cookie Chinese, the salty dumplings, Protector picture show, pictures and more pictures, dragons den, Beauty and early skiing, adults in Jacuzzi, talks of universities, good times, snuggles by the fire, long drives home and  Little Miss Sunshine !

Lots of family and friends we did not get to see either…..and can’t wait to hear tonight from Chiffons about Jamaica trip! Soulkeeper coming soon to Trent and Roman sleeping through the night hooray!!! Love that sleep expert girlfriend..she is brilliant. Cant wait for Childhood Wonder and Soulekeeper to come back with their kids again..a new tradition and one I want to keep!!!

So a good holiday overall with some ups and downs but friends were a definite up. So were many other things. Being sick for more than half was a definite downer.

The last day of our holidays was surprisingly one of my favorite. I just can’t get rid of this domestic goddess part of myself that has suddenly appeared! After our guests left, me and the boys cleaned and cleaned and cleaned all day long after being at Trent for a whole two weeks. We vacuumed and took a break, we dusted and took a break, we did laundry and took a break, and we packed clothes and sat down to leftover Thai over a counter with candlelight. And for some reason it felt good! And we all liked it! Crazy but true!

While my daughter and her doting Dad was at Beauty’s first ski competition!!! Up at 6am and out the for at 7am and she was great! First race was ok and second one she was super proud of!!!! She did great and we were all proud of her. Home they came at 4pm just in time for a long family soak in the clean house and nice hot tub-a perfect ending-all five of us together. Then finished packing up and headed home for Beauty to fall into bed after ravioli and the rest of us showered and then ordered in Kojax and ate chocolate bars and laughed and laughed and laughed.

I don’t know if it was the cleaning and getting things back in order that felt good, or Beauty starting a new sport and bonding with her biggest hero, or all the gratitude we have for the good friends in our life….but something about yesterday felt good. Renewal I think. A great holiday and a great year ahead.

I am head over heels with my family and my life overall.

I need to remind myself of that often

It may not feel like that every moment, or even everyday…but the truth of the matter is I am blissfully happy and everthing I am searching for was right in that Jacuzzi with me last night at Trent.

The challenge is always to look at what you have and be grateful for it..and to remind yourself that life is perfect because it is imperfect.

And I hit the gym this morning at 6:50am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Friends and Good Times

 

 

The Holidays are filled with so much. Good food, good drink, good weather, good books. However the things that always stand out for me the most are the good times with my family and the good times with our friends.

What I have so appreciated over the years is the way that no matter what we always make time for our friends and they make time for us. The same goes for our close family.

We see our friends and family at very predictable times of the years and pretty much do the same things year after year and for us all this is really the winning formula. We don’t leave getting together to chance-it is too precious. It is scheduled months and months ahead and sometimes even a year ahead. We are all committed and we all make it happen. So yes there are some spontaneous things in between but the important parts are planned and happen.

And what we have noticed too is that our friends each give us different things and gifts in our lives. Our time spent with them is so different and so unique.

The best thing about the friends we see is the gifts it gives our kids..Friends like cousins, and that type of community is hard to come by. Our kids can count on the fact that they see their various buddies for summer pool party, regatta at Holiday, summer at Trent, pool parties on Bathhurst, trips to Toronto and Niagara, New Years at Sweethearts, meetings half ways in Kingston, winter fun at Trent etc…..

It is something solid in their lives they can depend on and I am thrilled to be able to give them that.So as I say goodbye to the holidays I also say a word of thanks for the good times we shared with our buddies:

Sweethearts and Holiday hightlights: the messy porch full of boots that prevents us to the basement but reminds us of the chaotic lives we share, tobogganing and kill joys, hockey and forcing helmets, sitting by the fire the six of us as often as possible, Sweethearts truck and “my truck is stuck heehee, chairs being delivered and truck stuck again, sausage stew and yummies, the kids having a blast as usual, New years and dancing, new years and kids running outside at midnight, lots and lots and lots of kids everywhere,subways sandwich iditos, lots of blond hair, lots of good times. Sweethheart toast and commitment to always always be together and make time for each other, saying grace with two catholic girls, going around the table and saying what we are thankful for.

 

Highlights with Savvys :

All the kids reunited and excited to see each other, lots and lots of hats on, boys and boys and boys! Puberty for twoJ) Dances by the girls, nighttimes beautiful skate in the park, Savvy and wanting to skate alone, skating and pictures, tobogganing and 4 by 4 tales, lots of muffins and doughnuts and toaster strudels, big chili and chili praise, Sam’s amazing grace!, chatting by the fire, talking about being 40 and above, skiing and the 45 minute decent, poutine buying for the godson, the better ski hill and Zandra’s ski, Sam and Josh falling asleep almost during Thai , the no fortune cookie Chinese, the salty dumplings, Protector picture show, pictures and more pictures, dragons Dden, Beauty and early skiing, adults in Jacuzzi, talks of universities, good times, snuggles by the fire, long drives home and  Little Miss Sunshine !

 

Lots of family and friends we did not get to see either…..and can’t wait to hear tonight from Chiffons about Jamaica trip! Soulkeeper coming soon to Trent and Roman sleeping through the night hooray!!! Love that sleep expert girlfriend..she is brilliant.

So a good holiday overall with some ups and downs but friends were a definite up. So were many other things. Being sick for more than half was a definite downer.

The last day of our holidays was surprisingly one of my favorite. I just can’t get rid of this domestic goddess part of myself that has suddenly appeared! After our guest left, me and the boys cleaned and cleaned and cleaned all day long after being at Trent for a whole two weeks. We vacuumed and took a break, we dusted and took a break, we did laundry and took a break, and we packed clothes and sat down to leftover Thai over a counter with candlelight. And for some reason it felt good! And we all liked it! Crazy but true!

While my daughter and her doting Dad was at Beauty’s first ski competition!!! Up at 6am and out the for at 7am and she was great! First race was ok and second one she was super proud of!!!! She did great and we were all proud of her. Home they came at 4pm just in time for a long family soak in the clean house and nice hot tub-a perfect ending-all five of us together. Then finished packing up and headed home for Beauty to fall into bed after ravioli and the rest of us showered and then ordered in Kojax and ate chocolate bars and laughed and laughed and laughed.

I don’t know if it was the cleaning and getting things back in order that felt good, or Beauty starting a new sport and bonding with her biggest hero, or all the gratitude we have for the good friends in our life….but something about yesterday felt good. Renewal I think. A great holiday and a great year ahead.

I am head over heels with my family and my life overall.r to

I need to remind myself of that often

It may not feel like that every moment, or even everyday…but the truth of the matter is I am blissfully happy and everthing I am searching for was right in that Jacuzzi with me last night at Trent.

The challenge is always to look at what you have and be grateful for it..and to remind yourself that life is perfect because it is imperfect.

And I hit the gym this morning at 6:50am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Top 16 (and more because once I start I cannot stop) of 16 days of Winter Holidays

Winter Spender

Love the look of snow falling from my solarium all around me in the windows

Love being super super cold and active and then soaking in the hot Jacuzzi with all the windows open

Love skiing with no ice and then après ski by the fire, blogging, napping and reading

Walking on the path on the lake my Protector cleared me to remind me of our old cottage

Candles at the counter

Skating in the forest

Cross country to the skates

Listening to the kids on the 4 by 4 loving it

Snow, ice ,cold and slopes

 My darling Kids

Proud of the way they are "outside kids" even if they get older. They shovel, they toboggan , they play. They always were and will always be cottage kids

The way they eat all day long and snack on holidays on whatever they wish. Hot chocolate, yogurts, bagels and nutella, Lipton soups, Kraft dinner etc…

The way skiing is a passion for all of them. Beauty and her incredible style and speed, Bear and Chase and their freestyle passion and ability to do tricks and jumps and boxes and rails

Snuggling on the couches and by the fire all in our bunny hugs watching movies, on our computers, watching all our favorite TV series late into the night. Doing some of our own things but together.

The winter style my kids possess all on their own. Freestyle and oversized hoodies, Eagle hats, spider suits, toaster gloves, ponytails under goggles and over helmets. It’s a fashion show…and I love watching it. And they save and buy this stuff mostly themselves because it is so coveted.

The way they love each other, and look out for each other and kiss and hug eachother. I can predict that for the rest of their lives they will all be best friends……I know it sounds crazy but I believe it. I wish for it too.

 Their Darling Parents 

I am just mainly darn proud of us.

Proud that as hectic and busy and sometimes chaotic it is we keep this family together. We have all been together almost every hour of every day for 16 days on Sunday. Except for when we drop them at ski hill for a few hours without us…wake up same time..and to bed same time. No alone time hardly at all, no dinner out a deux, no movies without kids etc….. It is hard in some ways but great in other ways. We feel it is our gift to them right now and to ourselves as it won’t last long. No escapes for us right now. In the trenches with the tweens and teens we are.

Proud of us that we choose a cottage nowhere nears the kid’s friends and our friends. So that we can be together just us 5….keep the kids close and connected…keep them outdoors……maybe it is selfish…maybe it is crazy. Maybe it is just about the smartest thing we have ever decided.

I love our toboggan rides just the two of us in front of the cottage

I love that we took 2 hours and shared our requests for our own love languages and trained each other how to speak them with examples (with a few tears)

I love that we are in this together. I watch those videos of way back and us with those  babies and how I look at us now after 16 yrs of marriage and I am proud of us. Of everyone we know that we are close to, we have been married the longest, to each other, and we have stuck it out through the good times through the bad times, through all the times. And on this holiday we gave ourselves a pat on the back for that.

After all these years, we are still playing in the snow, chatting by the fire, getting beautiful meals on the table every night to enjoy with our family, and going to bed with each other night after night,. In each other’s safe embrace.

I realized so much on this holiday that this really, really counts for something.

Reflections

 

Today we started a New Year Tradition that will carry on year after year. I have to say it is one of our best family traditions yet…it was so meaningful.

We started our day out after a big party last night by going out to a family lunch at one of our favorite restaurants. Everyone was allowed to order what they wanted and not have to share or order off a kid’s meal menu. We also all got to order our favorite dessert. We talked and laughed and chatted and just enjoyed a leisurely family lunch together with nowhere to rush off too.

At the cottage as it got dark, in the early evening we did our Reflections Time. We all sat around the fire, and we lit 6 candles all joined together which symbolized the 6 of us (including my Mom who was not part of this reflection, but is such a big part of our family we include her in virtually everything whether she is present or not). The candles were also a symbol of not saving fancy things and indulging ourselves at special celebrations. Bear had bought me for my birthday a set of beautiful candles in the shape of flowers that seemed too gorgeous to burn. Our burning of them tonight symbolized our value of experiencing and indulging in beauty. Of enjoying each other and beautiful things.

We first each reflected in the dark only lit by candlelight on the year of 2012 and what stood out for each of us. What defined this year for us in each of our personal ways? We went around and each communicated what these things were for us and explained them to each other. It’s amazing how having these conversations took us to the very soul of each other each one that was uttered, surprised me in many ways and gave me great insights into my family’s hearts.

From buying a sailboat, to getting a 90% on a math test that was extremely motivating, to the pride in making the big commitment to join the ski competition team, to the paradoxical liberation of a diagnosis of ADHD, to the pride of writing the first few chapters of a new book with someone very well known, to the challenge and accomplishment of the acquisition of a new office, to the ruptured appendix and that even though was in 2011 has been such an integral piece of so many other pieces it has to be named, to the firing of an employee, to the decision around the family cottage that led to better sibling relationships, to the choices around family and friend relationships, to the death of a cherished man who’s passing changed each of us and the relationship to his family forever in different ways, to the sale of a boat which made our lives simpler and therefore so much better in so many ways. To all the academic achievements that I had never realized were so very important to my children.

I loved hearing us all explore and share what defined 2012 for us. I love that we created this tradition together. This was probably the highlight of my entire year of 2012…this candlelight ceremony even though it happened on the first day of 2013. That is telling in so many ways.

I especially loved hearing my husband share his long list. I felt proud to be married to such a wonderful man and doting father. It was amazing to hear  “que ca m’avais vraimanr touché cet annee” over and over and over. I married the best of the best.

And after dinner we will continue and look forward to 2013 and light our candles again and reflect on what we want to accomplish, or feel, or be, or become in this New Year. A renewal of sorts. Not New Years resolutions by any means….but an importance that my husband and I share that we hope we are making important for our children that usually things don’t just happen in life….you make them happen. You dream things to life. You focus on them at the level that is important to you, and they become important. You change the world you live in….by your own intentions.

And the dinner being prepared tonight part of our new ritual too which is a bit of a Sabbath in a way. A commitment to renewal on certain holidays and vacations and which will become part of our Saturday night rituals. Part of my invisible to do list that I have committed to. Whenever we are together as a family there is always one or two in the kitchen helping cook, setting the table, playing music, being together. But as they have gotten older there has also been one or two watching TV during that time, and it’s just not the same as the good old days where TV was not allowed during meal preparations. So our little Sabbath time (aka renewal time) will now come back to our roots of meal preparation on Saturdays or holidays as something more sacred. Music on, some dancing, sitting around the counter, preparing food. It can also include other renewal activities such as showers an taking care of our bodies, or reading by the fire, of getting fresh air outside, or writing as I am doing now. Each of us to decide what renews us outside of computers and TV. A commitment to ourselves, and our families.

All sounds wonderful right? In theory yes. In practice not as easy. As I write this I can hear my kids fighting downstairs and my husband getting angry at them. My daughter has just come upstairs and told me her brother is retarded and that she is not going to pay her magic set with him. Another child I can hear is raising his voice a tone too loud and complaining about not being able to relax and watch his movie that he had started.

But I also hear a lot of laughter, and debate, and time being spent with their Dad without me in the room which is also very important. I can hear them learning to make tacos, and negotiate who will play with whom. I can hear olives being chopped and hugs being had.

I can hear life happening. And more than anything that is what I believe I want to give my kids. And more than anything in the world I will always be striving for that above anything else.

And even if the picture is far from perfect, and life is far from easy, and we in no way resemble some of the blogs I read about where everything is rosy……I believe that I am not taking the easy road out, but always striving for:

Following a road that I believe is the right one. While they are in my care and while they are still mine. Before they make the decisions around who gets to watch TV when.

Until then, I will always find ways to have them reflect. And have them be part of this beautiful and crazy family that they got lucky (or unlucky) enough to be part ofJ

My Guy

 

15 yrs old my baby boy was yesterday on December 31st! And I still feel exactly the same way as I did his first year of life: completely in awe and in love with this guy.

You have not ever seen so much love wrapped up in one person. So much affection, so many I love yous, he is the bestest oldest brother and son EVER. We are so lucky to have this guy protecting us all, keeping the peace in our family and driving us all crazy…we are blessed.

Our New Years’s  Eve baby.

Woke him up at 9:30am this with a surprise on the door of a promise to go shopping that afternoon at his fave ski shop and for us to quietly all sit and watch him try on clothes. Then his  birthday tradition of a ride on the 4 by 4…now has been replaced by him driving the 4 by 4! He and his Dad went all the way to the village for breakfast together illegally on the vehicle.

A day of relaxation, no chores, tons of computer and TV without his Mom nagging him to go outside. A huge party every year for New Year where his birthday is always specially underlined by the Sweethearts and Holidays. Always on his bday with his long time buddies and our wonderful friends. This year however a bit too much xbox addiction surrounding him for his liking........the kid is just like us enough of the computer games!!!! 

What I love about this age is that you start to see your kids preferences and values really surface-who theyeally are. It's a tough age on many levels as they discover this. what they like about the world surrounding them-and what they like less-but part of such a necessary step to go through.

He is loved this guy by all of us. I love watching this son unfold.

It has been a bit of rough year hasn’t it Chase? Don’t sweat it, it will all be ok, I promise. Let’s have faith, lots of love, and expect that we will all make a bunch of mistakes and then get it all right. It’s all going to be ok. More than ok.

Thanks for trusting us, and respecting us, and making having a teenager look like a piece of cake, you have brought so much joy and learning into our lives. We love every single inch of you. I love that all my friends find you the most lovable teen on earth. I love that you still have that power to melt everyone’s hearts.

Happy Birthday my sweetheart.

Love

Mommy

Egg Casserole in the Oven

I realized today that the just because I am not very domestic, that there is nothing wrong with me!

After years of wondering why I don’t crave to bake a pie, or tend to a garden, or why I find it so easy to delegate laundry, or why my husband when he hides a gift puts it in the dryer to ensure I never find it…..I have realized precisely why I am this way.

It is because I have a job! And three kids! That is why.

One morning this week I basically had nothing to do. Most of my family hit the slopes at 8am and it was just me and one sleepy child. Do you know what I did? What I actually enjoyed doing? I did dishes, and changed all the sheets on the bed, and made a salad, and made some stew (ok defrosted some stew..let’s not get carried away here)

I even had time for a long cuddle on the sofa with Bear. We checked out the snowflakes.

It continued on into the night. When I took the sheets out of the dryer, I basked in the smell of their lemony scent; I took pleasure it the warm feel of them on my cheeks. I took a leisurely shower and took time getting dressed. I blow-dried my hair to a silky shine. Eventhough I had a house of fifteen sleeping over here. Eventhough.

Because I am on holiday! That is why!

I am normal, I am a Mother, I am human, and I am just very very busy doing other things most other days of the year!

Things that I choose like big budgets, and teams, and politics, and speeches and presentation and coaching.

Will I give it all up for laundry? Never! Will I give away two of my kids to have more peace? No!

But I do like domestic tasks sometimes on holidays. I enjoy doing them. Because I have time to. Wow. What a revelation.

So one day…one day far off in the future I might just the bake the cupcakes from scratch baking type. I might change my beds every day and fluff my towels for fun. Iron a few t-shirts here and there. Sharpen the pencils that are dull. Get out those Christmas lights at the back of the closet and hang them up because they blink. Buy a fresh baguette every day and eat it with some pea soup.

Maybe one day I will do that. And maybe one day I will enjoy it.

But I made the realization today that it is not going to be now and that is ok too!

I am normal.

And when I am done bossing…and creating….and coaching….and wanting…I will sit down at a table and break some bread.

That time will come, far far away from now.I realize that if I wanted to….I could be perfectly domestic.

Yes I most certainly could.

Gosh lemon laundry smells fresh doesn’t it? And nothing like a clean white duvet over fresh sheets is there? And a banana chocolate chip muffin. Yummy.

Mitten Strings for Me

There are two things my kids do in life that please me immensely:

The first they do often and frequently and the second very seldomly.

Eating and Reading.

I have never had any regrets of not being a stay at home Mom..ever. Today however watching my kids make their snacks after a day of skiing around a big kitchen counter at the cottage, I started to realize the pleasure I have likely missed at 3pm daily! Yogurt, followed by crackers and cheese, followed by two toasts with our homemade “creton”. Topped off by a may west and a big glass of milk. No wonder at suppertime they eat like birds-now I get it.

I loved seeing the preparation of the food, eating the food, their pleasure and their conversations. I love seeing my kids eat good food and enjoy it. Would have been amazing experience if I could have seen them clean up the mess too..but I was not that lucky and had to call them back for that last step.

And reading by the fire…..I honestly don’t think anything satisfies me as much as my three kids and I reading for pleasure at the fire. It is soooooo rare and that hurts. Now after skiing I have imposed a no tv rule until 5pm. So that equals more ski jumps outside or totally as a total treat for me, reading with me all cuddled up under the blankets. Minus Hubby who is outside shovelling and blowing snow. A true but healthy obsession!

And reading is my life so to share this with my kids is heaven. I feel about reading the way I guess some people feel about cooking or gardening. I am so attached to it and in love with it, I just don’t get the notion that most people just don’t find the time for it in their lives on a regular basis. I would stay up until 2am if it means reading my favorite book! Or leave my house messy for guests! I read every minute I can manage. On skilifts, in ski cabins, in beds, in Jacuzzis, at doctor’s offices, on buses, in hotels. Anywhere and everywhere. Always. I never allow myself to read at work as that would be a huge distraction so it has to be off limits! And I never allow myself to read on a Kindle or I pad as that is way too modern for me. Nothing comes close to the feel of a good old fashioned book in my hands.

Today was amazing to see my kids read, They read many many books but they are always for school and that is just not the same. Outside of holidays and summer, there seems to be no time for skiing and reading..it is one or the other and skiing always wins.

So today made me happy. And it was a bit of a sad day on some levels as the whole gang for my beloved Uncle and Aunt’ss 25^th vow renewal left today for Jamaica. Of course we were invited and we debated to go or not go for many months. Our final decision was no because of many factors but it still made me sad a bit.

However when I saw the snacking and reading going on at my cottage and the pleasure I and the kids derived from it…I realized from the purest part of my heart that this is exactly where I want to be and should be at the moment. As tempting as Jamaica would have been and as wonderful as witnessing the ceremony would be for all of us….what we need to do a s family during the little down time we have it stay put. And ski. And snack and read. We need to bring as much simplicity to our lives in these turbulent times as we can and it starts right here at this cottage.

Choices. Often hard. Plently necessary.

The book I just finished and devoured “Mitten Strings for God” had my name written all over it today.

Simplicity. Nuturing. Sabbath. Choices. Taking Care of our souls. Understanding what they need and feeding them exactly that.