Never a good day to eat a banana

I often measure the quality and happiness of my life by how often I would allow myself to eat a raw banana.
And it has added up to zero times in the last 7 years.
Which means my happiness level must be pretty high up there.

You see i am allergic to uncooked bananas and I get really bad stomach aches. And there never seems to be a day i want to take that chance on. Ever.

Each day i think " wouldn't it be great to juts test this whole banana stomach thing again in case i am over it? Have a smoothie or a pb with banana sandwich or just a good old potassium fruit mid afternoon?

And each day i come to the same conclusion:
Today is too important for a banana
Today has to much happiness for a banana
Today there is too much to look forward to for a banana

And i choose life over bananas. Each and every single day

( don't even get me started on avocados!)

So although my life of course has it's ups and downs... I am proud and thrilled to see that i dont chose those bananas. It says something about my personal life , my professional life and my priorities.

There is so much more out there than the good old delicious strawberry banana smoothie

And that my friends is about as complex as my thoughts will take me today .

Ps another amazing few days at the beach . Gorgeous first few days of weather , nice people that we even had at the condo for cinommon buns and coffee, lots of sailing and long walks and daily naps . Life is good ! And banana free!

Getting Comfy Cozy in Paradise

Actually we settled in the minute we got here . When we come to the beach-this is where we come. It feels like home. It is our slice of heaven of the world. Truly paradise.

Back to the beautiful island of Turks and Caicos for us! We have come here for about 6 yrs. now each November but skipped last year for a variety of reasons and so has been two years. Feels soooooooo good to be back!

We stay in a condo belonging to one of my Hubby’s really close clients and get a great deal here. A really sweet deal for this kind of luxury. We are very very lucky. The condo we used to stay in was this client’s brother and he sold and now this one is also for sale L(((there were people visiting it today while we were here). So wish we had money to buy it!!! Nice to dream sometimes isn’t it?

I remember the first time we came about 7 yrs. ago my husband’s client sent us here for free! It was so generous of him. My husband is their family’s real estate attorney and he offered his condo in Turks to us. We had no idea it would look/feel/be like THIS. When the concierge walked us to our “room” we gasped literally and we actually thought we were in the reception of the hotel. It is so gorgeous ad right on the beach and a full kitchen etc. We cook all of our meals except 3 lunches and three dinners over the 12 days we are here in order to live the apartment life but more importantly to save money as food extremely expensive here. Ever since that first week here that we were given as a gift , of course now we pay for the condo, but get a much better deal than if we booked it ourselves so it is actually (somewhat) affordable and totally worth it to go into any kind of debt for this vacation.

We love it so much that we actually are even depressed the first day knowing that it will be our last time as condo for sale (miracle we are here even this week). We are so so so so in love with this place.

Yesterday was perfect. Smooth air schedule for once and non eventful travel. Arrived to gorgeous weather and headed straight for the beach. Had a yummy lunch right at the bar in the pool. Watched the sunset. Headed out to do a HUGE grocery order for the 12 days and got back and unpacked and fully organized. Watched a movie and went to bed.

Today another gorgeous beach day and walked and read. As of tomorrow will be more active and top of our list is to learn to stand up paddle, go sailing, walk 2 hrs a day, play tennis every second night, Hubby will jog every alternate night, go to all new restos, and foster a  local popcake dog for a day and walk it  on the beach which here is common thing. We also want to do the conch excursion and parasail and find a condo to go to the next time.

Right now hubby is cooking up red curry chicken with nann and homemade raita and rice and green beans.  Jazz music playing from the speakers He is the best. I am blogging. We will watch Grey's Anatomy tonight and shower in the double shower amazing open bathroom.

Before getting here we worked literally about 16 hrs days for many days. Both of us-it was really crazy. Neither of us thought that this was a busy time of year for our businesses but thankfully we were wrong. When back December is turning out to be one of my biggest months this year and unexpectedly too. I am getting into much new part so my business includes lots of HR consulting and lots of business development too.  I won’t be able to breathe in December at all but so worth it to be able to gather money to come to places like thisJ

Life is very beautiful for the moment. A calmness amongst the plentiful storms that were 2014 and slowly becoming more of memories that our present reality. We both feel calm and content  and professionally happy right now. We know there are many more storms to hit us-but for now we have a chance to breathe. And we are counting this as a true blessing.

We found sun here, good beer, we are in love after 20 yrs, the condo is not yet sold and we feel like we are in heaven.

Ahhhhhhhh..life is good

PS-I will hopefully blog a lot while here but don’t worry I won’t bore you with travel blogs as not a whole lot to say at the beach! I am looking forward to blogging about many things that have been wandering in my mind and I never have time to write about.

england by Meh-meh

My trip to England was really fun! We were 12 girls going to england. the first 2 nights we stayed in a hotel and i was in a room with my friend ariane it was so cool! we visited London 2, Oxford, Stonehedge and this little town called winchester. the rest of the week we  were sleeping in a boarding school and we each got a little room ( you probably saw a picture). It was really different from here but it was okay because it was all an experience!!! We went to the school for one day and that also was very different. It was an all girls school.
 bye xox

Two things that make me supremely happy in life

1-     Texting relationships with my kids BFF’s. This always puts a HUGE smile on my face when they reach out to me by text or welcome me reaching out them,. Whether that is for planning something logistical that is happening (as often they are better planners than my own kids!) ..Or for just talking about big events in their or my own kids’ lives, or just wishing them a good trip or happy birthday, or sometimes just to say hi and how’s it going. Having that joint person we care about (my kid/their BFF) is so so bonding.

It enriches my life so much. And they often sign off with such sweet things like “thanks for being my 2nd mom” and stuff like that that makes my heart just melt. My life is so much better because of these amazing BFF’s.  The kids are so blessed to have them. As they get older they all mature too and gives me a glimpse of what adult kids would be like. Daughter in laws and son in laws too and how important these relationships will be in my life.

My kids are package deals-they always have been. They come with their families. And watch out as their parents are sure to love you.

If I am not invited to their weddings there will be hell to rise! At this rate I think I may even be paying for their weddingsJ))

2-Helping friends that reach out to me. Helping them through obstacles and things they need a listening ear for. Helping them find a way that makes them happy. Especially when it involves their families and kids. I love helping friends who reach out to me. I feel it is the highest honor privilege as a human being to serve those you love.

I love helping people I love find peace

And when friends help me out it feels like………such a relief and comfort. It makes me feel complete. I have gotten so much better at asking for help in the last two years. Even professionally too I simply ask for help from those who I know respect my work. It is so liberating to just ask for what you need.

Meh-Meh Takes on England !

written last Friday morning so she left Oct 29

Our little girl left last night on a plane to England ! Was such an odd feeling to drop her at airport and say goodbye in line there . So odd to go to bed that night and know she was on a long flight .. Without us!

It was originally  exchange program with the school but then logistics changed and now is a school trip where they live in the boarding school with the British girls in Winchester private school. On the weekends staying in a hotel .

 They will be attending some of the classes with the girls and on most days touring many places in England such as Oxford , London , Bath etc ..

Our girl's attitude toward this can only be described as cool as a cucumber . No stress , no worry , no anxiety . Zero . She is something else .

 Not as much passion and excitement than I would have expected either ! But she is who she is ! she expresses feelings in her own way!

Hope she has a wonderful week. She texted to say she landed safe and sound and slept 2 hrs and watched a movie and was going to tour the city she is staying in .

Feels wierd already without her here !!

 She is missing Halloween too so snuck some treats into her bag .

Have a great week meh-meh!!

Now it is 5 days after she left and what am odd experience for the family to have their little one gone internationally alone ! And had a couple of short texts and today an iMessage conversation but other than that has been radio silence . The other mom I know well said same with her daughter .. And we chose to interpret it as they are having a blast !

I think they are loving the trip and finding a bit of an adjustment to the boarding school/ headmistress part of it as a big culture shock to be sleeping in a strict private boarding school in London !

They are visiting everything in London and surroundings and  their days are filled . I can't even imagine all our bebe is learning and absorbing and aquiring . I am so jealous !

And I can't wait to hold her in my arms . She gave me a cool nice shirt for my bday and I have worn nothing but that for three days now ! And her smelly old comfy socks to remind me of her:)))) .

Sure is quiet around this house ( even though Bear is off for a week and home and I am working at home I am so used to it by now and still feel it's quiet !)

Love you Reneesme / meh meh/ beachy girl !!

The Sounds

I was aware of sounds this weekend. Or lack of them.

When I visited my friend’s home on Friday night and her three kids came to the door happily and excited and like three little puppies. Question after question, story after story for us, show and tell, magic tricks. So much life in the house. So much good noise. So many memories of our home and how it used to be. I used to think that noise annoyed me, the sounds of laughter. I realize in retrospect I loved this part of my life (the benefit and irony of retrospect)

And then the sounds of our home and cottage this weekend. Beauty is in London on her own which is strange in and of itself. We feel her absence –having two kids is very different than having three kids. We feel her gone.

And then the sounds of teenagers. When home so much more silence. The click click of texting, the silence of IPad, using the basement more, interacting less.

Radio Silence.

 And then the sounds of fear. We stayed at the cottage overnight the two of us without the kids as Beauty away and boys Halloween plans and also some work being done here with plumbing. But our night was not peaceful until Chase got home in the city at 2am and called us to say safe at home e (we set our alarm for his time expected home and if the alarm rings before he calls big panic and trouble which has thankfully never happened)

He is safe, responsible, and mature. It has nothing to do with him, but until I get that call my heart races and I panic and can’t think of anything else until he is in that door. Midnight to 2am trust me I don’t sleep soundly...usually not at all. With him driving now and out much later at almost 18 yrs old, this is our new reality. And our new reality is not that relaxing.

I hear the sound of my nagging voice often. More and more for some reason lately. I think in their new ambivalence and inattention that are hardest for me.

I hear the sound of us as a couple. Missing them more, the silence in the house. Still loving each other but missing some major pieces that made up the fabric of our lives. The sound of trying to stay connected and connect in a new way.

The sounds of missing. I  miss when we are all together the ease we always had as a family-we still have it often, but not as often. We have to rely much more on the in between moments. We have to deliberately make those happen more. I miss I miss I miss what I always had and still have but like Hubby and Mom said last night it’s like this trip with Beauty is the beginning of them all flying away from the nest. Or youngest in London? Without us? How did that happen? Finally no more baby talk. It’s gone.

The sound of my thoughts. They have lost some peace. They are searching-searching again. But for what? Having to re-create myself again both personally and professionally. Is there ever stability?

The sounds of the dog that we kept last weekend. The one we debate in our imaginations in our home in the future. The animal to love us, comfort us, make noise. The dog to hold us back, for us to resent, getting in the way of the next stage. I hear the barking and it annoys me. I don’t hear the barking and the silence depresses me.

The sounds of the future. The future scares me. Did we make the right choices? Is this the right cottage? The right ski hill? The right path? Should they have played hockey? Should we have socialized more? The sounds of a mothers’ self-confidence being doubted.

The sounds of loss and broken hearts. Emptiness and sadness. First loves. The breaking of teenage hearts. The sounds the family share. Of betrayal. The lessons of living being taught. But not my us.

The sounds of acceptance and moving to another stage. I had read in a book somewhere that really having teenagers starts  when your youngest becomes one. For us that was felt about 6 months ago. We are there. We have arrived.

I need more sounds. I need to create them. I need to make them mine. Ours. We need to adapt, and adjust and change.

What do the sounds of setting them free sound like?

Do they come back? What does that sound like?

Happy Halloween

It's what to say today right? To be polite.

Yup here that holiday is again. My most un favorite one. This year actually doesn’t bother me at all as we are not celebrating it!

Beauty is in England (another post on this tomorrow as deserves its own space!), one son is not celebrating Halloween I don’t think, and the other son is pretending he is not celebrating Halloween but he is trick or treating I think (but pretending not to).

We are not giving candy at our house.

We were invited to an adult party and almost attended-got costumes and everything and last minute something intervened in life making it so that we could not attend. We were not into the Halloween part but we were sad to miss the party with all our buddies as like the party part!. That part would have been super fun. And we would not have felt like the losers we truly are by ourselves on Halloween.

Ba humbug. I know.

But we got into the spirit last night as had an adult dinner with our wonderful buddies who have three adorable children. Was so fun sitting there and listening to them before they went to bed for the evening talk about candy and costumes and their excitment. I ADORE these three children and they feel like nieces and nephews to us-our families are so totally engrained. After they went to bed we had Thai food and fortune cookies and just had the best talks ever, had some heated debates about education, laughed a ton, planned a big future trip together and basically indulged in a great evening. It ended by me literally falling out the door! (A story for another blog)

I am glad I got to enjoy pre-Halloween through their kids and leave them all to their costumes and makeup and candies today. Might sound silly to say but last night might have been one of the top five nights of my life. Was so simple and easy and nothing special really-but special in every way actually. The beautiful children so close to us, the friends that the dynamic between the four of us is so rare and cherished I thin for for people to get along so well sharing all our lives and joys and challenges together. Laughing, screaming a bit. Helping each other through this thing called Life. It’s what my heart has always wanted that enormous pleasure of sharing our daily lives with people we love in such a constant and continuous way. It really feels like forever. And forever is what I aim for. So much love there and respect. So balanced between their lives and our lives. A place for everyone. And all our combined children; in some ways feels like they all belong to all of us.

A village. Like it should be.

Hubby and I went today  Harvey’s for a well-deserved burger today (been really both careful with food for weeks now) and at the cash there was huge pot of treats. We each took one ad then were about to grab a second and the cashier said “one per client pls” so so so embarrassing! Felt so cheap! So we  did what any self-respecting adult would do and?

Wait until she turned her back and took two more!!!! Ha-ha we are so wicked!!!

Tonight enjoying a very peaceful quiet night a deux in front of the fire. Odd, strange, a bit lonely and a bit indulgent. Perfect actually.

Tomorrow night I have a business dinner with my Swiss colleague and co-author (and friend!) at a hotel and Hubby and the boys will chow down on some serious pad Thai with the boys  will make from .scratch. One of those boys needs some serious TLC these days-being a teen can so suck. But he is handling is all so well but still hard. And beautiful girls are falling at his feet of courseJ

So to all those adults out there who love Halloween…long live diversity! Enjoy it! Don’t scare yourselves too much! And to all those who don’t…do what you love to do.