Taking the time to smell the sweetest of 3 roses

We had the privilege and honour this weekend to host three small guests (age 7/5/3yrs) while their deserving parents got to spend a weekend alone downtown in a hotel.

These are the three yummy kids of Soulkeeper  and M&M  and I have been intimately connected to these three  kids since their births. Over the years I have made sure I keep that contact with the kids by babysitting every few months at their place while mom and dad  go out for dinner ; hosting them at the cottage as a family and generally just keeping up with their lives , report cards , doctor apts and lives 

They call us Auntie and Uncle and our kid’s ,cousins 

In 2016 one of my commitments to myself was to always ensure to put my love Into to Action beyond my own family . And to have these particular surrogate children since mine are getting older now and not as excited by going to Dollarama and for a burger. What better way than to start with the three we already know so well and hold dear in our hearts!

So the weekend away tradition began and as of this  and  from now  on we will have them one weekend a year and then when the youngest is 5 yrs. old we will move into to their place for additionally for another  week and babysit while their mom and dad take a yearly week vacation 

It was my promise to them since forever. And most importantly my promise to myself to this for a girl and guy I love and who have so actively loved our family (much of our conversations back and forth are about all the kids and their lives and well bring etc)

Also to fill in and nuture SK with her kids since she lost her own mom at such a young age (21)

This weekend has been such a delight! So fun! Such incredible amazing kids. So kind and so sweet and they all love each other so much and are so respectful and kind. They are great little guests and little helpers and they have brought so much life and sunshine in our home! I adore the sibling relationships between them-it is so precious to watch. 

(Of course our house is also messy and we are tired and haven't stopped all weekend but it is soooo worth it!)

We went to the dollar store and got one treat and a toy each; we went out to eat hamburgers; looked at seashells I kept from the beach; went to cottage for l8 hrs since Bear had a ski gala; had a Jacuzzi outside with bubbles; had lots of healthy snacks and watched the Lego movie and had tickles before bed 

Then in the morning they got up at 6:50are and entertained themselves until 9am when we got out of bed!!! These kids are miracles! Their parents are heroes in my book and the best sleep trainers ever.

Then we had a girl party in the  Jacuzzi and a big blueberry pancake brunch and leaving soon for part two that involves Beauty who they miss! My three teens are so busy with their own busy social lives now that have only had each for a couple of hours to be with the kids. Has mostly been me and Hubby taking care of them which has been nice as had given us a real chance to know them individually and uniquely in a way we would not if our kids were entertaining them .

Another one of my goals: be present to the people I love. Fully present.

When you take care of other people's kids you realize where you may have gone wrong yourself in retrospect raising your own:

My were way too loud 

My were not kind enough to each other or to us 

Mine had no patience at all (nor did I)

Mine did not have well enough overall manners (or any)

We did not focus enough on toys and games and follow their developmental stages enough

I nagged and often yelled at kids. Soulekeeper never ever uses this method (patience of steel)

(All of the above still hold true today)

You also realize a few things you did really well as parents:

Our kids were great at transitions between activities and structure 

Our kids were very organized and competent at helping around the house very young 

Our kids were scared of nothing and extremely confident in their abilities on basically anything and everything 

Our kids were extremely socially graceful and comfortable in any adult or child social environment

I realize overall that we have been much more focused on performance and getting things done as a family than just.... Loving them... And being loved.

Thanksfully for them and us we know this weakness about ourselves and have tried to  balance it more with tons of family time and fun traditions etc., but to be honest there has not been that much time to stop and smell the roses and I realize that smelling them is lovely for all of us.

We have focused on the present but in the ways we wanted to vs how they may have wanted to. It has produced very capable kids, autonomous, able, performing and thankfully happy too in most ways. And extremely secure but also kids who may have benefitted a whole lot more of their parents have been more present in the own worlds and slowed down a lot more 

I see the difference now. And I am truly not sure which one is better or right or wrong. There is no right or wrong! Just different ways to bring up a family.

I love certain ways I have parented our kids but am disappointed in myself for other ways. Soulkeeper is just such a great mommy-she gets it all done in a calm gentle, often firm manner but so loving and caring and kind. And she is aware of her areas of development too and we both openly discuss both our areas (her being late, time management not responding to texts are minor compared to my own faults!!!!!!! Trust me!!!!  (although would be nice to be able to speak to her and keep up much more often as often feel like she is too busy between visits but it is because she is being present and nuturing so many areas others but just wish I could have more air time by text and phone with this great girl as I need her!!!!!lol!! (and she knows all this as I tell her:))

SK or and I are totally similar and totally different too and that is why we love each other so much and learn so much form each other . Yet  I never realized how much I would learn from her kids!!

I realized yesterday that I can be counted on 100 percent to be on time , not inconvenience others ever , and get packed in as much fun humanly possible into a weekend all planned out sealed and delivered that SK is busy loving in those times the unique people that make up this world . Being present with them, loving them, bring out the best of them, nurturing them on demand (I nurture. It  is on a schedule) I focus on a lot of family and life values too but through a very structured approach. I am not so great at letting it all just happen with love 

We are different and no way is better: Both had benefits and costs. Both are good. A balance of the two would be the ultimate!!!! But we can't have it all right? I don’t believe that..I think we can. I wish I would have done this right the first time.

All I know is that these kids are angels and so so so amazing. I am in awe 

( and ps to be blessed to have  two girls in a row and then a boy it rocks this way )

I wish I had been better at kind thought. I wish I still was. I guess it is not too late?  It's funny as so many around me have described me as  very kind and have and extremely thoughtful, but by my own standards I am not kind enough. Neither are my kids and being around super kind people makes me realize that even more and have regrets about it . I think I need SK couple to keep my kids for a weekend and teach them kind and respectful. Her kids are the sweetest!!!

But then I think to myself: I am kind. I take kids on weekends? I care about my friends and their joys and obstacles ? I write a blog about how much I love my kids and read my friend blogs about how much they love theirs?. I am kind. Maybe I just have to be kind and stop smell the roses? It is so against my natural core though and really has to force myself. But I know it is good 

(I am too tired right now to list all the examples of how great they are but lucky for their Parents we kept a list of all the ways their kids we noticed are incredible and all the cute things they did :))

On the agenda this afternoon is time with Beauty which they are all begging for and then Didi coming over and telling them a story about a goat on a mountain . Then baking a cake for their dad’s early bday dinner and Chase going to get pad Thai ingredients.

This has been an amazing weekend all around and I will do it again and again and again. I realize that little kid family life does not have to end. It can continue on and on through creative ways. These three kids are living proof that is very possible to deeply and profoundly love children who are not your own. I love them with my heart and soul. I think they love us too in that same way (i know they do as they told us all weekend how nice we are and how cool)

We intend to be a big part of their lives forever and help them let us smell the roses a little more. Also teach us and guide us in our own parenting journey where it is never too late to take advantage of second chances 

When SK oand M&M got back we all chatted about the fun weekend and all had a great early bday dinner together complete with homemade pad Thai  that Chases shopped for all the intricate Thai ingredients and a delicious bday cake that Beauty made with the kids . Bear set the table and put in the extension to receive our guests 

As I sat there looking at us all I realized show much I have always wanted this particular type of village in my life . One where we take care of the kids and she rubs my husband’s butt with her elbow ( long story about a sport massage hubby got ) where he gives me a bit of tough love about the state of my Mom’s concussion a we give him advice on his job interviews and salary options . Where we talk freely about wierd naked poses with hairy bums (lots of bums tonight!) and she and I are there for each other in every way completely without judging and with complete understanding and able to share anything and everything. Where we share our little kids and our big ones too and where our little and big worries are expressed. Where calling a friend up to go for a run up the mountain is just ... Another fun thing to do to help a buddy get in shape for Peru. We feel blessed to share our lives at this level and to be there for them and them for us. Nothing is a favour.. It is simply love in action 

(And one huge thing I learnt this weekend with little kids: always take the parents car! That way you can leave their luggage in it and easier  for  and all their little (big) messes get put in their own car! (Especially when you just got  your own new family at one day before!!) And always get Hubby to wipe the smelly poo-poo bums!!

One Good Friday and 3 Days at Stowe

Two really great days (and a potential two more to come!)

I love what both days had to offer . Just a bunch of small moments making up great days. The simple formula is a whole bunch of family togetherness and within that time a lot of alone time too. 

Friday, Hubby had a choir show he was performing in at place des arts . We did not go to this one as he has many and went to one a couple of months ago but he has pretty much been gone all week with practices. I worked Friday good part of day and then Hubby came home and we chatted with the kids about what Easter is all about from a religious standpoint and then we huddled in a circle and did a little family dance ( sounds a little odd but was super cute )

Then Hubby and I took a long walk by the lake and went out for a coffee at a cool new place in the village and people watched. 

When we got home we all piled on the couch and watched the first part of Moses but couldn't watch much as we all had to be out of house by 6pm for various commitments. But that hour was special and was fun to do something their Dad used to do as a child on Good Friday. That evening I went shopping and dinner with my mom and then came back for a movie at my place. Special too :) love my mommy.

Hubby had a great show and a great cocktail chat after and celebration and got home super late. Then we left for Stowe the next morning.

Love this place!! Got a great upgrade on room and it is gorgeous. Nice cute cafe for yummy sandwiches and USA groceries to stock the fridge with snacks and breakfast stuff. All lounged at the pool outside here in the spring weather in big robes and napped and read and chatted. (In between all of this of course every moment the teens are on their annoying phones and not interacting with us but some moments they do)

Then we had the best evening. Super cool yummy Mexican Cafe we have gone too many times and never disappoint and great conversations. Then to an old fashioned adorable movie tiny cinema and watched “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 " omg !!! Even better than 1 !!!! Definitely both on my top 5 ever of movies. We all decided that all the kids have to marry Greeks.  We had such a good time and since we are in a small little town far off away in a different county the kids were not embarrassed to be seen with us and even allowed us and them to laugh out loud the whole movie!!

Then iPads and reading in beds at hotel ( let's not preened there is not fighting and bickering from a lot of us and that the many great conversations we had mostly were four out of five of us and one of the people barely talks or smiles )

But back to the positive ...

There is something about the last two days that just feels so right .I  have just loved them. It's funny because as the university debate in my head and heart goes in and on with all the pros and cons of having kids stay at local universities and live at home (we are blessed in Montreal with excellent French and English universities so close by so not much of a pull or  need to go anywhere) or all the pros and cons of having kids leave and go away to university which is also such a great experience.... 

My heart keeps winning out vs my head. Short terms sure would be great for kids to have these away experiences and move away etc. but long term? Totally sucks !

They will end up marrying (hopefully Greek!) people far far away and then wheat we get together as a family a few times a year?  And during that time they need to see their Mtl friends and our extended family etc etc etc 

No!!!! Our brand is togetherness: cottage life: helping our kids to raise their children. I don't want to have kids across the country and skype. I want them close (if ever I get to choose or influence that is!!!)

Just like the Greeks on the movie. 2/3 of our kids  said “now that is what life is about”

Yay I agree.

Days like the last two days are scared and special and there are not enough of them .The kids will have years to live on their own in apartments-why now?

Lounging days like Friday where some of us sing and some of us work and some of us study but we are all together. We get to dance in between and watch Moses for 30 mins . Grab chocolates for a few mins.

I always had  this life with my mom ( lives 5 mins away and is part of our daily life and it is the foundation of my life and security and happiness of her adult daughter and my kidslives too ) it is what I want for my kids future and for ours .

She is our maria-ya-ya just like in the movies (although we call her Didi) she is part of everything 

Will I get it? Who knows right?

But I know if I am asked I will encourage it. I will support them all no matter how it goes but I will always want them close by if I have a say 

I loved the Greek movie and the family life 

I have loved the last couple of days even though they all annoy me (and I annoy them) they are my people. The village 

Tomorrow off to ski beautiful Stowe Mountain and then Monday shopping and lunch at the sound of music mansion and a bunch of ice-cream, coffee and cider tours!

Day 2 Stowe- Not every day is stellar

I have always wanted to show off a bit in front of my kids when it comes to skiing. When I know they are watching I try to cut a bit more and use the poles and put some energy into the glide.

I remember my son bragging to other friends “my mom is intermediate!

That was when he was four 

Since then there is no showing off. Keeping from embarrassing them is more of a goal .hubby and my intermediate used to be satisfactory now it is just making it so that we are so so left behind our three expert skiing teens  and it is almost a laugh. 

Why we thought skiing Stowe in 16 degree weather would be fun is beyond me. Talk about spring conditions!!! Omg !!! When the gondola ranches the top of the mountain ,only then did I realize how hard to would be to get down. No groomed trails but stuck with  thick moguls of powder slush spring snow. And miles and miles to

cover. All three kids no problem whatsoever and husband was so –so and very cranky as although capable hates spring conditions. Me = total loser 

Fast forward to the end of the day where I got the hang of it a bit more and we were all looking forward to our last run. At the very top of it I hit a massive part of dirt and gravel and wiped out so

completely soaked in water and mud and so hurting all Over. My head my knees my wrist. A mess and still whole way to get down on the hardest run of the day. 

So much for showing off. I cried myself the whole way down and at one point was so tired, I  just lay on the ground and pretended to be dead for a few mins and they were all worried and I had no energy to care . Did I say this day was good?

Overall too I have realized that it is (often) annoying travelling with teens. They are so addicted to their phones most of the time unless forced not to be during family time and meals of course. Just generally obnoxious and annoying. But it is the moments in between it all right that we aim for ?

The spring conditions for weather were very gorgeous though and so was the scenery (through tears) we were in sweater and even ate lunch outside (20 dollars USA chili!!)

We also could not believe that the day cost 100 usa per person almost! That was enough to kill us. Why not just go to Cuba!

Hubby has locked his back fully too by tonight .I guess it is clear we are getting too old for this. We can't wait for the kids to have kids and just get back to our level and showing off for them. Our kids are just way too good at this sport.

And the morning sucked too. Beauty was a nightmare and we had it out with her. How can someone be a nightmare in a gorgeous hotel? How is that possible?

Anyways when got back to hotel I just went to bed right away for an hour and felt sorry for myself for humiliating myself so much in front of the kids. 

Then I shaped up and we all went to the outdoor pool and Jacuzzi in the shining sun and the evening started taking good shape again in the hot sun. Hubby and  I napped in our robes and read and the three kids went and did big workouts in the hotel gym. We then got ready for dinner 

And it was fabulous!

Thank goodness. Great pizza and sushi place (a little dive but those are always the best places right?)

Great conversations and lots of making fun of me and their dad and trying to help us get up our Athleticism (we always wanted our kids to be athletic but never realized they would turn out this fit!)

Anyways back to the hotel with some USA candy on hand and now in bed all relaxing and reading and watching our shows each on our own devices 

Hubby and I are seriously hurting all over and rubbing Voltarin all over. Nice long showers with the ultimate grapefruit body wash EVER!

Tomorrow breakfast at hotel (in my bathrobe) and Jacuzzi and swim and then a cheese factory, cider factory, chocolate factory and coffee factory tours 

Then some weinershizel at the sound of music lodge and some outlet shopping on way home!

Ps ya now it the next morning -. My body feels like it has been run over by a truck and I have a whiplash too . I can't even use my wrist to open a bottle of iced tea . My Protector’s back is completely frozen (as in he can't get out of bed and I am completely useless to help him) we have used up almost a full tube of Voltarin and both of us have to make emergency appts with our Chiro.

The funny (not so funny thing!) is that the kids are all in pain too and sounded just as old as us. This true spring skiing seemed to do us all in. Showing off ( or trying to) is so so so so not worth it 

We hate getting old 

 Day 3-Last day in Vermont 

Our last day was amazing :)

All slept in until 10:30 and then went to the best breakfast ever .I went in my robe which was the best part 

We had a feast of bagels and lox and cream cheese , eggs Benedict , smoked ham , capers and tomatoes , hot chocolates and slow roasted coffee . Was overpriced but a nice way to end our stay at the hotel. Then hubby and I went in the pouring rain got in outdoor pool and hot tubs which was a welcome relief for our aching backs 

Then we cleaned up the room and headed out to the sampling spots for chocolate, apple cider, cheese and the finale of Ben a Jerrys. It was honestly all so tacky that we laughed the whole way through and of course enjoyed the entire free samples. Headed out with with a  bag of homemade fudge in hand to enjoy for dessert 

Then the best part was the Trapp Family Lodge deli for lunch. Besides the amazing sausages sandwiches and homemade pretzel bread and yummy side salads I was in the mood to make the kids laugh and laugh.

I was telling them about the sound of music and playing songs (imagine I was so busy working their whole lives never even bothered to show them the movie!!) anyways I was in one of my silly moods and made them laugh and laugh by basically telling them all about the Trapp family (which I know absolutely nothing about) I played them songs and sang along and just invented facts about their lodge and their lives .Nice cozy 13 minute power lunch  by the fireplace there before the finale of the cream tour which was the best one and still very tacky but a little cool too to see how ice-cream is made in the factory.

Then last stop was to some of the USA stores like Abercrombie etc. for the kids to choose one item of clothing each as their souvenir since these three days were our family vacation this year.

And hearing all the kids silly conversations about " what is there more of than people I the world? " Nipples! Omg!

And their competitions of who is more jacked and in shape. Their requests for advice on their fashion and styles and their teasing and bickering and overall sibling love. Still the three little bear cubs they always were.

I realized today that my mood as a mommy affects the kids a lot. I am the climate keeper on a lot of ways. Beauty was also great today and last nigh too and makes such a difference to the overall family climate. But my mood was key too this weekend and I woke up with the intention Saturday to make it all count. And it did. Time is slipping away way to fast and I intend to make these family times as special as possible filled to the brim with memories.

Putting my phone away completely and being disconnected from email really really helps me to be present with the family and not distracted. Emails will be waiting when I get home and so will my work: but my growing kids won't nor will our precious (and sometimes not precious) family time together .

Goodbye Stowe!!!!

Stowe in Pictures 2016

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The boys trying to hide their little sister in her new bathingsuit

didn't work!

Sound of Music Trapp Lodge. this is a fave pic of my kids as they look so happy:))

Ben and Jerry tacky tour!

Mom and Dad being super tacky!!

Love Bears Laugh!!!!

With teens you can get away with some really silly gross (fake) pics!!! lol!!! 

My ski bunny

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Ski Day in Stowe (right before my big fall that has left me black and blue!!!)

Nourishing our Souls

I choose this title because lately I have been so busy that I am having a hard time nourishing the tummies of the family ( aka empty fridge and TV dinners a lot last couple of weeks for lack of time )

So although I know how important the nourishment of the souls is I was feeling it drop lower  and lower on the to do list lately 

I had planned this amazing 6 hr training session for our family months again to take place on two parts . Last night was part 1.

One of the team and leadership program I deliver on my work in companies called DYNAMIX I wanted to bring home .

So I asked one of the our new collegues who just began her career with Peak if she would be interested  in doing this with our family ( normally done with corporate teams )

This was a big time investment as we all have lengthily surveys to complete to produce the 38 page individual profiles . My mom was part of this too as such a part of our everyday family .

We all did it and the session took place last night from 6-9pm . Prior , everyone was so aggravated with me as in exams and sports competitions and driving courses and work deadlines etc  and they could not believe I was forcing this onto our already packed schedule. But is there ever a good time to take time out ? At a certain point you just have to forget all the fluff ( like the studying and sports ) that really in the end aren't go to make a difference in life and nourish the family as a whole .

And so we did . All the kids faces at the beginning were so reluctant and resisting I was scared !!

But my collegue blew it away and did an amazing job of adapting and connecting with each family member .by the time they received their own personalized  38  page profile they were begging to see it !

And they were so interactive and curious and engaged . They were also super interested  in the results of the other family members  as we are all so differnt and complimentary and so cool to see those differences spelled out  in black and white in this way . I learnt so much that evening about a family I thought I knew so well !

This is by far the best tool I have every seen and I have literary seen hundreds in my career .I felt so proud that this tool I often deliver in companies is so  incredible . 

We stopped mid way for pizza and cookies and then quickly right back to work .

The session wrapped up with the very best part where the leader has each family member recognize eachother for the unique  role they play within the family . This was truly one of the best 15 mins I have ever experienced in our family team . Hearing so articulately what they see about their fellow  family member in a way that the instructor led so beautifully  was so heart warming and empowering 

And I will never forget what each family member said about me as their mom ( as through the session they complained a lot about me but in conclusion at the end  they for some reason worshiped me ! )

Made the whole parenting journey worth it for me . The recognition felt amazing and powerful for all of us . To hear the children express themselves that way was such a gift 

Samantha will come  back for part 2 which is building our family vision for another three hrs in a few weeks and now the kids are eager and excited .was also cool for them to get a glimpse into what their mom does for work 

Was truly inspirational for all and I would highly recommend that if a family can do this and make it happen financially  and time wise .. It might be one of the best investments you ever make in a lifetime 

Since that evening I have considered going more on the family side in addition to my corporate work . I don't think it is possible to have an evening like this in your own family and not feel like you want every family to experience it !!

We chose to nourish our souls last night And it was worth every moment of TV dinner and takeout . Was worth the sports coaches getting mad and the teachers demanding more .Was worth the dirty kitchen and the unfinished work 

I gave my family a gift list night that none of us will ever forget . I am proud I made that time to claim what is rightfully ours as a family.

The Utmost Respect

The. Utmost respect

As I have written about so often on this blog i am completely in love and in awe with the highschool that all three kids attended or currently attend.

To me it was the absolute  biggest deal to get them intot his school which is very tough to get into . It was worth every single hour of prepartion. Nagging, communicating, strategizing and obsessing.
When i wrote that text " he got in!!! " those who knew and understood me well , fully got how big this really was.

So many people i know right now are in the middle of univeristy applications and acceptances as many kids the age of Chase, our eldest son , or slightly older. And the university choice and decision seems to be as big as it was for us getting our kids into this particular highschool. As for us I am surprised that we don't seem to care as much about which university in particular and this laid back attitude takes me by surprise. I started wondering why this is?

I realized the other night when we attended the parent teacher meetings of Bear and Beauty exactly why this is. For us : the quality of the education ans supervison in highschool mattered the most . More than primary amd more than cegep or university. For us they are the most important formative years and we feel that this education has given them or will give them the confidence, autonomy, strategy and experience to make the decisons that are right for them in their higher educations


I feel that this school empowers them and creates confidence . These two attributes are what ultimately in our family we seek for our children. I feel that by the time they make the university choices they will have had this strong and powerful foundation to do what is best for them. They will know.

As I watched my daughter interact with her teachers I was blown away . Truly . By the quality of teachers. By their devotion, their savvy with teens and  their coolness. The respect they commanded and earned. I was blown away by how they knew our daughter so so so well and related to her in exactly the way that would motivated her . This school has the reputation of big classes( 38 per grade ) i am here to tell you that they also have the provem track record of phenomenal teachers who can handle it. I have heard their teachers are highly paid .. And it shows!


Watching our daughter in these interactions was truly beautiful. She is not an easy teen but her teachers clearly bring out the best in her. Whether she failed a test or got 100 percent on one they were there bulding her confidence up and working with her. It was amazing to sit back and watch her in these almost magical interactions. At times i had to hold back tears is how special it was

And then she saw the  elderly janitor in the hall and screamed out his name in sheer joy and he had a huge smile across his face . He said her name and said how happy he was to see her . She asked if he had tics tacs to share with her and he said " of course !!! " i loved this interaction and will stay embedded in my mind forever . She is adored and adoring

My husband and I since have commented that neither of us ever had these types of quality interactions with teachers and personnel in high school. Maybe with a chosen  few favourites but not in this way with all surrounding us . What a cool motivating environment . We were jealous !!

Most would perceive us as parents very concerned with acedemics and high education and our kids getting good jobs and secure futures. Yet in reality we are not as concerned as many would think . We are concerned with the journey to ge there and highschool for that was where we felt needed to nuture our kids the most . We will expect all of our kids to go to univerity and pray they do, but what their futures hold belongs to them. Happiness and fulfillment are  what we want for our kids . In whatever they do and choose to do. We don't have many expectations in terms of particular careers or futures for our kids .
All we really care about is family sunday night dinners and them living close so we can help raise their kids !!!

Empowerment, self confidence , courage, the ability to make good choices for themselves however this looks

The school our kids went or go to is gold in my mind . It is a combination of all the Queen's, Harvard's, And Mcgills . There is not an element I would change ( except the too short skirts! ) or an element  I would want more of.

This school takes the kids journeys to a place where they are empowered to take up the rest of those journeys themselves and make wise decisions themselves that will hopefully bring them happiness and fulfillment . This building shelters them during the turbulent storms of adolescence which is the most i could ever hope for

Going to these parent teacher meetings is truly an honour and privilege that i will not be forgetting anytime soon. If my husband chooses to trek in Peru in october to raise funds for this school to send kids who cannot afford it i will be proud of this amazing cause