Christmas 2016

Happy endings 2016



Holidays is general are never really totally  my thing . We do them - and we do them well . Really well in many cases , but my overall philosophy is that ever weekend should be treated liked a special occasion. Even daily i always try to have something to celebrate ans be grateful for and look forward too

But the parts I always like the most is the time with family and the time off if I am honest .

The rest of the hoopla doesn't excite me much .

The exception to this is very often Christmas . I am not a Christmas lover or anything but every couple of years I get pretty into it  and excited about it.This one was one of them .



If you look at the pictures below just proves how deceiving pics can be .  ( pics to be posted later)This was christams eve 30 minutes before we were expecting 25 people for a huge turkey dinner . We were up early cooking and preparing this 42 lbs of turkey and having all these People and the kids were really good at helping and doing their share . With five of us if took us most the day but not the whole day .

Then for some reason the boys started fighting and wrestling and screaming for hours and it just was so annoying . I could not believe they were doing this on Xmas eve. I was so mad and disappointed and fed up and sometimes truly feel like I am loving with 5 yrs olds.And imbecile 5 yrs olds !


But we needed the christams selfies for 2016 so we took them anyways . Looks like we are having a grand time eh ? We are not

. And if we want to be even more honest we were anxious about the party . For no reason but we are always anxious when big group of people  arrive no matter who they are and especially the cleaning up part !


Well all that to say when the night was a huge success and  we had a great time of course . I can't even begin to tell you how fun it is to have little kid cousins in our lives again . And they are so kind and adorable and loving . They make it all fun . And seeing our kids love them is sweet . And seeing our kids in such huge conversations with all the adults was amazing too . I have always measured the way I feel I have done as a parent in  many terms of how my kids talk to other adults . Last night made me proud


And we had An amazing party and got to bed hubby and I at 2am and to sleep at 3am. Full of Congo lines and heads up Games . We were supposed to go to 10pm mass as we do some years but ended up to into our group game instead . Can't do it all . We fit in a lot though


And hallelujah our teens had not problem adhering to start Xmas morning at 11am so we all slept in ! We did stockings then a nice Xmas breakfast . Then gifts and then a break for me mom ( and me ! ) then gifts and then a great Xmas lunch of homemade soups my mom made for us . And then we all go up to rest and naps for a couple of hrs before cleaning up a bit and packing for our cottage stay beginning tonight


And the kids were great today and civilized .  And I started looking forwards again to spending time with them again

So nice today to have my mom feeling well and enjoying the day . So relaxed with her and when 6 of us together - just love it

I read in a magazine article today that Italian men are judged on how good of a man they are by how close they live to their mother :) that's my kind of country !! I hope my sons feel they are Italian

So was a great Xmas 2016 . I thought it was pretty in danger in 24 but it recovered swiftly . And sure the elfs are nice and the 42 lb turkey and the baking and the gifts . All of it is great
But when in comes down to it I truly don't care about any of it .

It's seeing the extended family . And being with my own family that matters to me and has always been that way for me

Going to snooze for an hour in my  new Xmas pjs now and then get up and pack like crazy for our two week cottage stay . First time hubby and I will stay up their in winter 2 full weeks without coming back . The kids will be back and forth but will have some nice times all 5 of us

Already we all made a list last weekend of all the must dos for us all in that time . Top of list is puzzles , games , skating , skiing , dancing to Xmas music in a circle , reading by the fire , eating steak , having nobody screaming ( good luck with that one ! ) snowshoeing , watching a movie in the jacuzzi and going out for lunch and the bakery

Now that above is my version of heaven :))

Happy endings 2016

Ps now it is 6 days later than when this post was written - some drama up here at the cottage but still loving all being together in the snow



Holidays is general are never really my thing . We do them - and we do them well . Really well on many case

But the parts I always like the most is the time with family and the time off if I am honest .

The rest of the hoopla doesn't excite me much .



The exception to this is very often Christmas . I am not a Christmas lover or anything but every couple of years I get pretty into it . This one was one of them .



If you look at the pictures below just proves how deceiving pics can be . This was christams eve 30 minutes before we were expecting 25 people for a huge turkey dinner . We were up early cooking and preparing this 42 lbs of turkey and having all these People and the kids were really good at helping and doing their share . With five of us if took us most the day but not the whole day .

Then for some reason the boys strayed fighting and wrestling and screaming for hours and it just was so annoying . I could not believe they were doing this on Xmas eve. I was so mad and disappointed and fed up and sometimes truly feel like I am loving with 5 yrs old . And imbecile 5 yrs old !



But we needed the christams selfies for 2016 so we took them anyways . Looks like we are having a grand time eh ? We are not

. And if we want to be even more honest we were anxious about the party . For no reason but we are always anxious when big group of people and especially the cleaning up part !



Well all that to say when the night stayed rolling on we had a great time of course . I can't even begin to tell you how fun it is to have little kids in our lives again . And they are so kind and adorable and loving . They make it all fun . And seeing our kids love them is sweet . And seeing our kids in such huge conversations with all the adults was amazing too . I have always measured the way I feel I have done as a parent in terms of how my kids talk to other adults . Last night made me proud



And we had Ana amazing party and got to bed hubby and I at 2am and to sleep at 3am. Full of Congo lines and heads up Games . We were supposed to go to 10pm mass as we do some years but ended up to into our group game instead . Can't do it all . We fit in a lot though



And hallelujah our teens hasd not problem adhering to start Xmas morning at 11am so we all slept in ! We did stockings then a nice Xmas breakfast . Then gifts and then a break for me mom ( and me ! ) then gifts and then a great Xmas lunch kf homemade soups my mom made for us . And then we all go up to rest and naps for a couple of hrs before cleaning up a bit and packing for our cottage stay beginning tonight



And the kids were great today and civilized .  And I started looking forwards again to does sing time

So nice today to have my mom feeling well and enjoying the day . So relaxed with her and when 6 of us together - just love it



I read in a magazine article today that Italian men are judged on how good of a man they are by how close they love to their mother :) that's my kind of country !! I hope my sons feel they are Italian



So was a great Xmas 2016 . I thought it was pretty in danger in 24 but it recovered swiftly . And sure the elfs are nice and the 42 lb turkey and the baking and the gifts . All of it is great

But when in comes down to it I truly don't care about any of it .

It's seeing the extended family . And being with my own family that matters to me and has always been that way for me



Going to snooze for an hour in my  new Xmas pjs now and then get up and pack like crazy for our two week cottage stay . First time hubby and I will stay up their in winter 2 full weeks without coming back . The kids will be back and forth but will have some nice times all 5 of us



Already we all made a list last weekend of all the must dos for us all in that time . Top of list is puzzles , games , skating , skiing , dancing to Xmas music in a circle , reading by the fire , eating steak , having nobody screaming ( good luck with that one ! ) snowshoeing , watching a movie in the jacuzzi and going out for lunch and the bakery m

Now that above is my version of heaven :))

Happy endings 2016



Holidays is general are never really my thing . We do them - and we do them well . Really well on many case

But the parts I always like the most is the time with family and the time off if I am honest .

The rest of the hoopla doesn't excite me much .



The exception to this is very often Christmas . I am not a Christmas lover or anything but every couple of years I get pretty into it . This one was one of them .



If you look at the pictures below just proves how deceiving pics can be . This was christams eve 30 minutes before we were expecting 25 people for a huge turkey dinner . We were up early cooking and preparing this 42 lbs of turkey and having all these People and the kids were really good at helping and doing their share . With five of us if took us most the day but not the whole day .

Then for some reason the boys strayed fighting and wrestling and screaming for hours and it just was so annoying . I could not believe they were doing this on Xmas eve. I was so mad and disappointed and fed up and sometimes truly feel like I am loving with 5 yrs old . And imbecile 5 yrs old !



But we needed the christams selfies for 2016 so we took them anyways . Looks like we are having a grand time eh ? We are not

. And if we want to be even more honest we were anxious about the party . For no reason but we are always anxious when big group of people and especially the cleaning up part !



Well all that to say when the night stayed rolling on we had a great time of course . I can't even begin to tell you how fun it is to have little kids in our lives again . And they are so kind and adorable and loving . They make it all fun . And seeing our kids love them is sweet . And seeing our kids in such huge conversations with all the adults was amazing too . I have always measured the way I feel I have done as a parent in terms of how my kids talk to other adults . Last night made me proud



And we had Ana amazing party and got to bed hubby and I at 2am and to sleep at 3am. Full of Congo lines and heads up Games . We were supposed to go to 10pm mass as we do some years but ended up to into our group game instead . Can't do it all . We fit in a lot though



And hallelujah our teens hasd not problem adhering to start Xmas morning at 11am so we all slept in ! We did stockings then a nice Xmas breakfast . Then gifts and then a break for me mom ( and me ! ) then gifts and then a great Xmas lunch kf homemade soups my mom made for us . And then we all go up to rest and naps for a couple of hrs before cleaning up a bit and packing for our cottage stay beginning tonight



And the kids were great today and civilized .  And I started looking forwards again to does sing time

So nice today to have my mom feeling well and enjoying the day . So relaxed with her and when 6 of us together - just love it



I read in a magazine article today that Italian men are judged on how good of a man they are by how close they love to their mother :) that's my kind of country !! I hope my sons feel they are Italian



So was a great Xmas 2016 . I thought it was pretty in danger in 24 but it recovered swiftly . And sure the elfs are nice and the 42 lb turkey and the baking and the gifts . All of it is great

But when in comes down to it I truly don't care about any of it .

It's seeing the extended family . And being with my own family that matters to me and has always been that way for me



Going to snooze for an hour in my  new Xmas pjs now and then get up and pack like crazy for our two week cottage stay . First time hubby and I will stay up their in winter 2 full weeks without coming back . The kids will be back and forth but will have some nice times all 5 of us



Already we all made a list last weekend of all the must dos for us all in that time . Top of list is puzzles , games , skating , skiing , dancing to Xmas music in a circle , reading by the fire , eating steak , having nobody screaming ( good luck with that one ! ) snowshoeing , watching a movie in the jacuzzi and going out for lunch and the bakery m

Now that above is my version of heaven :))

Spontaneous Fun

Sometimes I do it 

And when I do It I love it 

Like today . Hubby and I set alarms 2 hrs later and told the kids to take the bus . We slept until 8am and read in bed until 10am . 

Then I looked  outside at the beautiful falling snow and mild temperatures and put in my favorite hat and coat and walked to a restorative yoga class and relaxed and almost fell asleep In most poses 

Then I decided to completely forget about my long list of things to do today for work ( no meetings but lots of work to produce ) and I texted chase who is off school now 

He came and picked me up and we went to a fancier Thai resto . Then decided to go get a last minute Xmas gift for beauty . Then went to my favorite store ever - chapters and we each got two books . Was a miracle to see chase choose two books he is excited about reading . My dream come true . I didn't care how expensive they were - was just so happy to see him want to read !

So I dumped worked and all the long list of stuff I still have to get done before having 26 people over in less than 48 hrs - and opted to spend a great afternoon with my  eldest son .

It was seriously amazing . We had great laughs and great conversations and I learned so much about this boy I get to call mine 

Most importantly we both agreed that pad Thai without lime  is just not nearly as good as with lime 

Days like this make me so thankful not to have a corporate job or a boss . And also make me thankful that I am as organized as I am and have all the gifts wrapped and ready to go many days ahead and not part of the last minute Christmas frenzy 

I love you so Chase . I honestly feel so honoured to be your mom 

Shining the Hot Water

Everywhere I go this month I am hearing about shining the light ... Shining goodness on others etc 

Some in a very religious way using Jesus as a reason to do so and some in not so religious way just bc December is a good month to spread our goodwill and cheer 

Although it has always seemed odd to me to focus on shining light specially one one month of the year - I still love the concept of shining our goodness and light ( all months of the year )

So today instead of shining my light I tried to shine  and will the hot water 

In a very very frustrating situation ...

Let's say you have plans for a really special dinner at a friend's place that was already cancelled a couple of weeks ago . And you have rallied all the kids and made them come . And they finally agreed as they know they will have a great time when they are there so cancel and alter all their plans 

And then that dinner gets cancelled for the second some bc the hosts are sick 

Well you also had a hair appt that you had specifically put that same day as why not look nice since you need your haircut and color anyways ?

Well Let's say that after the hair appt the hairdresser who is supposed to like you after 20 yrs breaks it to you that there is no more hot water left and that the water heater is broken 

And then you go to a sink 

And along with what seems hundreds of other clients have your hair " washed "

With totally frigid water ( and ps is already -40 outside ) and partially boiling hot water from their coffee machine . 

And then when it is " complete " your head is full of soap and dripping and itching all over as it is not rinsed 

And then to get more soap out the hair the assistant asks another hair assistant to help  her with the rubbing and bucket and by accident they pour the bucket of water all over your face and sweater 

Many clients in this same situation were deeply affected and swearing and crying as color stayed in too long and wrong color hair etc . It was chaos there 

(And ps this is a hugely upscale salon )

In my head I was choosing my reaction and pondering on it 

And I chose the be the light 

And to chose to forgive this mess 

The assistants all had different reactions to this situation which was very interesting to observe . Some were telling clients that they were walking out and quitting as they could not believe the salon was still taking clients with no hot water . Others were fetching coffee and tea hot water for their buckets . Others were giving extra long head massages to try and calm their clients down . Others just looked in shock 

My one was fairly neutral but helpful and professional enough 19 yr old girl  . When she poured the bucket of water on me she felt really bad 

And so I decided to give her a huge tip . She looked shocked . I doubt she was expecting any tip from anyone at all . And I looked this 19

Yrs old girl on the eye and took her hand and said "

You did the best you could . "It's not your fault and you handled this situation in the best way you could . Good for you . Hopefully this tip will give you the energy to keep on going "

And she looked at me ( the light ) totally bewildered and then had tears in her eyes that started dropping down her face and she smiled 

And I truly felt so good 

And like the light 

I felt like a million bucks 

And so did she 

So I never did have my fancy blow-dry given that I had to go home and shower anyways and rinse soap out of my hair . And I never did have that special dinner to look good for anyways 

But what I did have ? Was pride . In myself .

The only way to describe it - is that I felt intact . Within a bit of a crazy world ( aka trump )

And I bet she felt intact too . And shines upon . 

And I bet if I was religious Jesus would have been inpressed too l

(PS-I posted 3 new blogs all today . So if you want to read scroll down three times!)

How she Occurs to me at 15

It occurred to me last night that from here on at the kids bdays I want to focus on who they are (to me anyways) vs what we did for their bday . And catch the true essence of them by examples etc . So I can vividly remember . Since Beauty's bday already passed and her blog too just adding in a quick PS

Our girl at 15 

.. Is not a morning person . In the car in the mornings it can actually be scary . By evenings she comes alive a lot more . On a normal day at the table she now participates and even laughs a little here and there . On a bad day she is silent and sultry and kinda rude :( on a great day she lights up like a Christmas tree and makes jokes and smiles and sings and dances . She is a girl with many parts to her 

• she is a dancer through and through . Her facial expressions , her body and mind in sync . She comes alive when dancing and can learn any choreography within minutes 

• she adores her dad . Like nobody else . She runs  his hair on his arm all the time " Poile a papa " and talks like a baby while hugging him and sitting in his lap . She thinks he is adorable and like her big teddy bear . If sound cute but he gets easily annoyed with the baby talk but at least she shows him  lots of love !!! ( until he disciplines her for something !! )

• she listens to rules . So far anyways . And obeys them ( miracle ) . She is a good girl 

• she often takes her friends in the bathroom to FaceTime her when she showers and poos !!! Or when they are here they all go to the bathroom together . Once there were 8 girls in our tiny powderoom !!!

• she loves her friends and has tons of them . She makes more and more everyday and lately tries to include new girls who invite her to their parties . Boys will randomly text her at ski mountain to ski and she says yes . Everyone loves her 

• She is way more reserved with adults . Any adults ( even us and Didi ) it's not her thing in the same way as friends . We are patiently waiting our turn 

• she bakes . Randomly . She will get to the cottage and without a moments notice just bake cakepops or a Banana bread or whatever . And then just leave it on the counter for others to eat 
•  
• she sends beautiful texts and makes Christmas and birthday cards that are so heartfelt it makes us want to cry of joy as we are so deprived of her affections on a daily basis ( sorry to say but it's true !! ) 

• she is simple and naturally beautiful . Every thing about her from her hair and skin and teeth and smile to her style and clothing . Hardly any makeup ( a tiny bit lately ) and a true beauty 

• When she feels bad about something she gives amazing make up hugs

• she has a massive heart for the homeless . I can't wait to send her on some kind of mission 
•  
• she is stubborn and a bit wild with friends and reserved with family and very complex . She is like a gold mine waiting to be uncovered 
•  
• she loves expensive shoes and all her money goes to that 
•  
• she loves her brothers so much even if a hard time showing it 
•  
• she is a fearless and will do anything and everything except be near snakes or spiders 

• she doesn't really object to what is . Like you can't bring home a boy to date out of school until 16 . She doesn't like it at all and makes that clear but doesn't really try to challenge it either .
•  
• she is independent and resilient and autonomous 
•  
• she has had to deal with scoliosis for 3 yrs now and new learning difficulties  that were recently diagnosed . The girl is a rock 

• she looks like an angel . But acts like a rock . Where really she is a combination of both . I can't wait to see who she becomes . She is layers and layers and layers of cake waiting to be eaten up 

• I still picture her as a woman and mother with a huge career and a ton of kids and dogs . Opening the door to us for a Sunday dinner rushed and in an apron and barely giving us the time of day but then making a spectacular meal and setting in her fabulous home . She doesn't know how to articulate it yet - but she is full of love for everyone . She will be an incredible mother and have an incredible career. Her dogs will adore her.

-Once in a while randomly she will tell me something so pure and beautiful that it makes me cry . Like " I find Xmas hard bc my mom deserves and island and all I can afford is a candle " or " mom I told my teacher my mom is my best friend " 

She says these things and then just walks away . Left in shock with your mouth hanging open.

We love you meh meh !!!!!

She Always Amazes Me

When I watch her dance .

It's like a flower blossoming 

Like black magic 

Like a beautiful symphony 

She is so incredibly talented 

And so incredibly happy when she dances 

Last night was the first mid year show of the new competition  team Beauty joined in sept for hip hop in Montreal . Completely separate and in Addition to the dance program she is involved in as her program at school 

It is a huge commitment as already her almost professional dance program at school is demanding throughout the day and most days Afterschool . Add two evenings of hip hop to this at a different location and many weekends days and evenings on weekends and you have a very full schedule 

Probably not the best idea for a girl who is struggling right now in school ? Or how is not overly committed to academics ?Not as connected to home life and family ?

My head often says no 

My heart mostly says yes 

I listen to my heart in this one 

Simply put : it's her thing 

She comes alive because of dance 

She is one with dance 

Dance is her 

I am not sure she would be her .. Without it all at this high level 

Especially hip hop 

Beauty does all kinds of dance from classical ballet , to jazz , to folklore to salsa and to the one they do on Spain that I forget the name of .  She is great at all kinds of dance And much more 

Hip hop though is where I see it is her thing . Completely and definitely . A pure and innate and natural talent 

Each time I watch a show I am amazed 

Was great day yesterday to just be at home after such a long exhausting and excruciating week of business travel and stomach flu combined . Did the tree and turkey stuffing and delicious new recipe for short team cookies and Christmas cards .( well the cooking part maybe hubby did and I helped and made our Xmas cards ? )

Had dinner with all the boys and chase sweet girlfriend who came to eat and show with us . Such a great girl and fun to chat with her and have another girl around too .

Sunday was a great day after a hellish week .

Thank goodness for the weekends to relax and rejuvenate and to connect with the people we love 

And to watch our talented dancing daughter in her element.

Each time I watch her it is a journey 

Each time she dances like that -we discover her deeply 

Our Bebe turns 15 !

We have a birthday today and it belongs to our girl .

15 ???  How did this creep up on us so fast ?

This year she opted for a clothing shopping spree on Black Friday so she knew all her gifts but was still excited to open them and wear them . My mom came for dinner and we had beauty's favorite take out food : Lebanese basha with mango salad and bean salad

And an Oreo ice cream cake and iced tea

Had a fun and lively dinner with also her BFF who slept over . They barely slept as they worried about vaccines at school the next day ( which in fact was the day after ! ) and also had to prepare for a big science exam 

Tim Hortons with daddy and BFF and bear in way to school was her request for breakfast in the morning . And of course woke up to a candy poster which I have not done in a few years 

Ps I have realized our child is a sugar addict . And I am an enabler 

Apparently at school she was very popular today and also for a very sweet and special gift from someone special in her life which was really cute .

 Afterschool she had jazz ballet class and then She came home and as usual had 45 mins and then off to hip hop team for evening . Then we took her to menchies for a yogurt piled with candies and linchies 

Another year has passed and she is growing up for sure . Strong , resilient , fearless , sometimes much shyer than anyone realizes , graceful , reserved , sociable and incredibly talented and creative is how I would describe her . Did I mention fearless and strong ???? I have never met anyone that not fearful  about life . She doll just doesn't seem to be bothered by much ! (well except for snakes and spiders and vaccines that is !! )

Love you meh meh , beachy girl , reneeesmee 

Xoxxo 

Gratitude

I have so much gratitude lately . I am totally full of thankfulness . Each day there are so many things that I am thankful for and I feel blessed to be in that situation 

That being said -nothing ever makes me more thankful than missing a close call on health . To actually be given good news by a doctor instead of the anticipated bad news .

Today was that day for me 

For the last month Bear has been having almost constant  quite sever stomach aches after eating . We have all been trying to find a pattern , rhyme or reason to this but have not been successful .

He also lost 5 lbs in 3 weeks - not a great sign for doctors in combination with symptoms and family history of disease 

Finally we called doctor and took him in on Tuesday . Due to a family history of Chrones disease in family the doctor wanted him tested and celiac disease too . For some reason I freaked out over these possibilities - especially Chrones . We have had such bad medical news over last three years almost ever time we see a doctor that to me if she wanted him tested - that meant he would be diagnosed . So often in last three years has been hard and bad medical news for our family and my mom . I am just used to bad news 

So I fretted and worried and read 70 articles on these conditions . Sleepless nights last night and felt sick to my stomach myself knowing that the shining star  and such a wonderful guy of our family could have these diseases . I know can seem dramatic ( but maybe not to many of you !) Seems like we all have our things in life that we worry lots about . We all worry about different things that can obsess us ( health , work , kids behavior , divorce , environment etc ) 

Health  of my family is mine .

And then this morning at 11am as I was just about to turn off my phone for 1.5 hrs in  restorative yoga class to try and relax myself and keep sane - the phone rings 

And it has caller id of doctor 

And she says that he does not have Chrones disease !!!! Yay !!!

All the rest of tests come in next week only ( celiac etc ) but I am just so happy we have ruled out the family history one .

I have never had such a peaceful and wonderful yoga class in my life 

And how quickly our minds forget about our worries and go back to the " normal " stuff like grocery lists and work .

That yoga class felt like a gift 

A medical break made me feel so filled with gratitude as we have felt over the last few years that we haven't had much of a break 

Today was ours :)

And then my mind wandered to all the poor people who didn't have great news about their kids today 

Next week we get rest of the results but for some reason I am not half as worried as I was about today

So we still have the pain and issues to deal with but we know he will be ok probably and will in my mind anyways be food allergies or intolerance or IBS vs serious lifelong disease category 

And it meant everything to me today to just have a little break 

Namaste