Moments

What I adore about travel are all the moments we get to have.

To live

To appreciate.

Time of travel is different. The clocks ticks to a different beat it seems. Energy is spent in different ways. Naps are needed and taken. Everyday there is time to do what your body wants to do and needs. Everyday there is time to dream and think and believe.

Every day is perfect on vacation it seems if you let it be.

Today was no different. There were some cool moments. The dolphin romping around the sail boat for 5 minutes. Diving in and out of the water and swirling around the boat (that I missed as I decided to forgo the sail with Hubby crazy me!!!)

The huge wedding in front of our eyes and the rain that almost ruined it and the sun that saved it at the last moment.

The deepest prettiest color purple of the bridesmaids dresses that I captured in my heart for Beauty one day?

The book. Oh the book. That one I wanted to steal? I got up the courage to ask the girl for it….she was leaving and she said yes! Yay! This couple struck me on many levels..the way they took care of their little kids so much like us when ours where little on vacation-the schedules naps, the alone time, the lunches at the pool under the umbrella. I noticed them because they stood out…both man and woman the same height…almost exactly..The way they described how important it felt for them to travel.

The book I am reading about travel and wanderlust moments

The other book I am reading about friendship which articulated to me in every shape and form my thoughts about one of my own friendships.

The pink and gold sky over and over

Vacation should be mandatory for the soul. No beach needed. No fancy hotel.

Required:

: Rest, relaxation, being unplugged and someone caring and loving to watch the children. That is all that is needed for nourishment even once a year.

I can also feel myself restless on vacation too at moments. So unused to the downtime…until my body adjusts and readjusts and craves the time in front of it instead of fearing it.

Moments…so precious when we allow them in.

Green Eyed Monster

Before anything else in case my kids miss us and are reading…we love you!!!! Forever and a day!!! Weather is beautiful here and having a super time. Hope you all are too with Didi!!!

My eyes are green

Always have been and always will be

Lately I have drawn some attention to them because I colored my hair much darker and so many more people have noticed my eyes

But this is not about those types of green eyes but the green eyed monster that has veered her head a few times in the last couple of weeks

Yesterday was a great first day (and today a super second one) Gorgeous weather so far (rare for us) great and relaxing time, amazing beach and pool. We topped it all off last night with, massages on the balcony with the sound of the ocean lapping.  Heaven.

I was sitting inside the condo and could hear my Hubby talking to the massage therapist after the massage:

“Oooooooh that was :Fantastic”

“Oh my god- that was like the best feeling ever”

“Awwww I have not felt that good in forever”

Oh my god that was soooooooo good and amazing”

It sounded as if they had just had a (really good) roll in the hay together. PS- she is pretty and blond.

So then it was my turn and before I even lay down on the table she is telling me how amazingly lucky I am to be married to my husband. She said he has the nicest long legs ever (really…I have never thought of or measured his legs) and that the fact he is cooking while I am getting my massage… that he is the best husband ever and I should never let him go.

I felt like I was a voyeur peeking into an affair. It was really funny and really weird.

I mean my husband is a really really good looking guy. As in really. And I know it. Totally classy and refined and good old fashioned clean-cut, but sexy, salt and pepper hair-light blue like the ocean eyes kind of good looking. He has the height too at 6 feet tall and with extra weight (aka about 30 lbs!) in last couple of years beefs him up a bit which is also nice.

I know he is a cutie and I am proud of it.

But lately man oh man the woman are after him. Last week it was bagels

I see a really super yummy bag of fresh baked bagels on the counter at home and I ask who they are from?

He says “a gift from a client”.

A gift from a client? Who gives their the real estate attorney bagels?

I asked more questions and found out it was a divorced single woman client.

Now this is all coming together.

And I started saying in a really loud and clear voice “That is like totally unacceptable!” “A totally unacceptable gift to give your Notary”.

The kids were all laughing sooooo hard. Chase ran downstairs and told Bear all about it and they were dying laughing at what I said.

Hubby felt so proud of how jealous I was . He pretended to be annoyed but we all know it was a show. He told this bagel story to anyone who will listen. I good kinda play up these jealousy moments as good for his ego. And then I happily ate those yummy bagels for breakfast all week and that made my family laugh even harder.

So all of this to say it seems with my darker hair my green eyes are green eyed monster eyes. I am happy that there is still some jealousy there-shows we still care doesn’t it? After almost 18 yrs of marriage this must be good right?

I will shortly go in the double shower room (very cool!) with this hot man of mine and both masseur lady and bagel woman can be jealous themselves. (Kids I hope you have stopped reading because trust me I know from very firsthand experience just how gross and creepy it is when parents talk about intimacy to their kids!!!!!!!!) I am hoping I lost your interest after my first sentenceJ

PS-I still think giving a bagel to your lawyer is plain weird. And very very bold.

PSS-the massage therapist said that I had the silkiest smoothest skin ever and that I was a lot less hairy than my husband (thank god!) I guess she likes woman too.

Ahhhhh.......

(written from airport yesterday on way to Turks and Caicos)

When you travel quite a bit you realize that every trip has a flavor. Something that even before you leave defines it and makes you remembers that time in your life in particular. Sometimes it can be the “just after Bear had his surgery” trip….other times the “the time we all had Gastro right before we left and almost didn’t”. The one where you “were so stressed before you left you didn’t know if you could actually unwind at all”.

Hubby and I are at the airport now on our way a two week luxurious beach vacation! Without the kids.

And everything went super smoothly leading up to this trip (almost scary smoothly in fact!). But…and big but here…this will be defined as the trip as we are the most tired we have every been and have been the most busy. It will be defined as the crazy busy fall before our trip. I realized yesterday and the day before as I tried desperately to tie up everything at work and home before we left ..how much we have put on our plates and how much we do. Right up until 1:30 am last night (ps we left at 5am)…we were running including Hubby going back to office for his phone that was not even there.

In the last two days I honestly had not a spare moment. It was really ridiculous. My last 4 months have felt that way. But man we got a lot done. Hubby and I have this thing about Spring and Fall that we cram everything into about 10 weeks each of these two seasons. And I mean everything. Besides the fact that our work is at its peak at those times too and so is the three kids exam periods, extracurricular stuff and schoolwork. It feels like over stuffing and over-stuffed turkey. Plus we try to see many of our friends and family during that time too as not skiing season where we get to see none or summer where our schedules and everyone else’s are all over the place.

So this Fall we had some major things going on besides all the normal carry busy stuff:

We  painted and redecorated fully all three kids rooms

My husband is almost complete phase 2 of his new office renovation

We put stairs in at the cottage and changed the roof

We have started each tackling big development areas for us as people individually with some outside support which has been a major focus for both of us

Beauty wrote major entrance exams, attended many open houses and did auditions for her high school

We started CEGEP visits with Chase (ya that went really well..not!)

I got ¾ of the way through a massive picture project I am doing that has been on the to do list for three years (framing, albums, collages etc..)

We lost our housekeeper and have fully trained ourselves and our kids to take on WAY MORE at home (kids do all the laundry now even Hubby’s.. (not mine)…they do all the folding..Clean the entire bathrooms…cook simple meals on their own…fully in charge of kitchen etc…

And surprise of all surprises I found out last week I have changed roles at work and have taken my current role on and now and other 50% of a new very large bucket and will be adding a new direct report. I leaned in and now it is coming to life (in some different ways that I had initially hoped for mind you…but the larger picture will all work out somehow I am hoping for this big promotion)

Oh ya and PS…I kinda took on this role yesterday (vs the planned Jan 1)as I was trying to get ready and set for my trip.

So this flavor is definitely: tired…stressed..exhausted..and in need of some serious sleep kinda trip.

The only thing I picture on this trip is sleep beach and reading. And can you believe that my amazon order of 13 books never arrived!!!!!!!! I desperately ran to Chapters and bought 8 of the 13 at full price nonetheless as a trip for me without my books is like asking most people to take a trip without a margarita in their hands most times of the day (PS I take the books any day in case you need clarificationJ

PIS-today as I looked at my 8 books vs. 13 I cried this morning-not a joke. I am totally serious I wept because I did not have my 13 books and I would rather die than read on an I pad. It is day one and one Is already finished so in my calculations that means I will have 5 days without a book!!!!! I saw a girl at beach today reading one I want. I might steal it (not sure if I am even joking)

I am very proud of myself though with the fact that the busier I am and the more stressed the more I seem to also make time for the biggest priorities in my life too as impossible as that sometimes feels to do. On Monday between clients, works, packing and organizing I managed to take Bear out for a 1-1 lunch…Beauty took me out for my belated bday frozen yogurt date and Chase almost went earring shopping with me ( before he cancelled on me and dumped me for his buddyJ). Hubby also had a 1-1 date with Beauty for Indian lunch and we sat down to a long family dinner last night and I watched  Greys’s Anatomy with Chase before I packed fully.

Everyone got a “switchy” last night for tucks ins (our long time experession for both of us tucking the kids in for long tucks ins. Beauty cried her eyes out that we are leaving which she has done last three years (never did before that and she has been left for vacations since born!!). Chase worried about us and warned us of every precaution under the sun (do you have number of police, locate the embassy as soon as you arrive, don’t go in forest with strangers, keep vodka from Dad, stay in the richer areas, text us every couple of days to check in, don’t relax too much and forget you are in a foreign country, make sure you spend a lot of time in the lobby of the hotel as it is safer, and bring lots of medications) Don’t worry he is generally a pretty normal kid and pretty relaxed although he sounds like a basket case reading this!!!! He is just the safe one in our family and doesn’t take any chances when it comes of the safety of the ones he loves. Bear wished us a great trip and told us he was super jealous and wished he was going on the beach.

 

As usual we came an hour and a half early to the airport and wish we were in bed. I cannot wait to be in Turks and Caicos (yes there again we lied last year that not coming back!!) Wild horses can not seem to keep us away apparently. This is a hard limit from my hubby: I want to go to Turks again. You got it baby!!!! Take me to the Beach mister!!!

And this trip is even more special as it might be our last “Alone trip” for a bit (I know famous last words eh?) We came to the shocking realization today that after next year Chase will be on completely different schedules for vacations in CEGEP that our other two kids. November break won’t be happening…March Break won't be happening….Easter Break won’t be happening. Christmas is a no go as our kids are huge skiers and summer is out as in our books never a good time to travel and way too hot. So of course we will still travel with our kids but likely the five of us together will be unlikely on an every year or every second year basis as we do now. And as of highschool or CEGEP we would never pull kids out of school to travel-it is a value of ours that is important. Primary yes-but not after that. Education is priority.

Travelling together has always been a bit part of our family life.

All that to say we pretty much decided that because of this fact in the next 2 yrs. before that fact actually arrives-if we go away it will be with the kids. We will have plenty of time for alone time in the future. The clock is ticking!!!!! I cannot believe that we are at the stage that this is even happening. I honestly cannot. Our kids are turning into adults one day!!!

So this trip’s flavor is: Rest, relaxation and savoring every single delicious moment. Heaven is about to happen-or that is how I feel anyways. These two weeks are heavenly-I would be shocked if there is a real heaven if it gets any better than thisJ

 

 

Digtital Distraction

I find myself very annoyed lately with the distraction that comes along with our technological society. And also very curious to learn more about this.

I find myself distracted.

I find myself quite distressed about the distraction of others.

I worry for the next generation. I worry for me too.

What has this world come to? Sometimes I feel sick as I sit on a bus or a train and watch myself others. All be alone. But together.

I have had a particularly hard week at work this week. Disappointing..emotionally- charged..Emotional…hard….stressful, changing, taxing, disappointing, challenging, odd, crazy. Exciting-challenging-adrenaline. All mixed up-just like me.

After a week like this I am even more annoyed by this digital distraction. I find it even one more level up there of sick. And I can’t point to what it is exactly-just a wide range of emotions about it that all come down to the same few elements in observing what we humans have become.

Basically after a week like I had this past week-I feel ready to bury my Iphone. I settle for hiding it out of my sight and checking it twice a day and not checking work emails at all on the weekend until Sunday night now. My blood pressure is high enough thank you very much.

We humans now:

We miss sunsets and don’t notice they are occurring because we are looking down on a train

We record and photograph sunsets because everything needs to be shared

We feel the need to share our thoughts on sunsets with others while it is happening

We can’t be alone in our thoughts anymore.

We are owned by companies with the invention of the smartphone. “Here now you are a Manager-here’s a gift-you can work for us 24-7!”Gee thanks. Thanks a lot. You have just ensured I will be divorced and not know my children.

What about digital free days? OMG they are amazing when shared with the right person. I had one last Monday and unintentionally too.. At my cottage with Soulkeeper. We talked and talked and walked for 3 hrs.and came back and soaked up the Jacuzzi and take again, ate and sat by fires. At one point we got lost in the forest and realized neither had brought out phones and decided just to figure it all out. At another point we wanted to capture a picture and realized the moments were too precious to interrupt and go find a camera…so we just remembered the moment and enjoyed it.

That day gave me an abundance of energy and spirit. I need more digital free days like that.

I love my smartphone just as much as the next person. I love writing on my blog and often reading the blogs of others. Internet is a fast way to find out info. However as soon as I feel my stress go up I realize quickly it must have something to do with my digital distraction or my annoyance of the habits of the distracted world around me. Or both.

To me the biggest favor we can do ourselves in lives is to limit this crazy world of tweets and instragram and facebook and texts to when it  mattersand relaxes us and not as a constant and ever there companion. To use it for us and not let it use us all up. To unplug as least as much as we plug in.

And to stand up for our rights to not be connected all day everyday every hour for companies who would not even pause for a moment if we were to disappear. Where we would be replaced in a millisecond if we left or were let go.

Understand this well: no company will ever give your eulogy.

As I sit here at the cottage with my three children and husband after 6 weeks of not all being at the cottage at the same time and missing it like crazy…I am keenly aware of our alones and our togetherness. We sit here united bantering back and forth. Me writing my blog, the Ipad being shifted back and forth while linkdon profiles are viewed and laughed at. Music is on too-popcorn eaten. The kids are asking to watch the second half of a documentary we started this week on family night on the overt sexualiazation of woman in the media (I thought it was the subjects my kids were interested in but apparently it is the boobs.)

The very fact that I am here with them in this beautiful room with the fire writing this blog about it all confuses me. Is it bad? Is it good? Does it enrich my life or deplete my life? Or is it somewhere in between the both-a perfect shade of gray?

Has the definition of “being present” changed with the changing times. Has the new millennium redefined it?

I realize though all of this how technology is such a big part of our lives and even thought part of it takes our time and lives away-part of it enhances it too. Sometimes we crave the old fashionedness of the olden days and other times we are thankful for the lessons we can learn through this amazing speed of technology.

I crave it and I resent it. Both equally and both at once.

In hinders my life and helps it. Together.

I feel more social and connected and more alone than I have ever felt in my life.

I sit here by the fire and look at my little crazies and relish in the craziness of it all.

Of what this world has become and what it is becoming.

And thankful for the awareness that I have around this subject-for this in itself…………is one step ahead of those blissfully ignorant many who have no idea likely of how digitally distracted they truly are. And have no idea at all if they even want to be. Simply because they have never stopped to ponder it.

All I know is that above all after a week like the one I had this week….I am so very very grateful for the night I had tonight. Unplugged and plugged digitally and surrounded by the ones I love. One of the biggest benefits for me of having a very demanding job with often a lot of stress…..it that it makes me appreciate the times I don’ have stress and push it all away. Enjoy the calm of the ocean. Enjoy the cracking fire…admire the sunsets…..all because I know my Monday-Friday has very few of these serene quiet moments in them.

Stress and work demand that I be able to stay in the present on weekends…that I revitalize and be able to recover to be fresh for the week ahead,

Life needs to be a series of sprints vs. a lifetime of marathons. And when you are sprinting each and every week…recovery on the weekends is vital.

Even more vital is recovery without being digitally distracted.

 

                

Revelations of Halloween

Halloween is getting a whole lot more interesting around here as our kids are growing up….their way of handling both this holiday, themselves and their costumes define who they are in many ways.

 

This is my definition of Courage.

 

 

The Bear under the Dinosaur. He went to Grade 8 like this today on the city bus and will wear this the whole day without taking it off. At end of the day we will give him 25 dollars…he took the dare. We had dared Chase 2 yrs. ago (knowing it would NEVER happen) this year Bear said he was short on cash and was totally excited to do this. Talk about confidence, lack of peer pressure and guts. The kid is fearless!!!!! I hope he doesn’t get beaten up today.

 

This is my definition of Everything about Chase.

 

This is him being a ghost. Very similar to the boxes he has worn on his head (or not worn) year after year after year. Since uniforms at school you can only not wear the uniform if you are wearing a costume. Here come in the boxes and the sheets.

 

This is my definition of Autonomy and Independence.

 

 

 

This girl with two Halloween despising parents just gets it done on her own. She looks like the perfect Geek. Miss Independent and Creative. She always “has her shit together” for lack of a better expression! Also a fearless child.

 

And this is my definition of parents who are great parents but who just can’t stand Halloween as a holiday.

 

 

We tolerated it for years and years and years and think fun for the kids but now we see it as one big night off. We are going out to the restaurant tonight as all three kids at festive friends’ houses (I wonder why???)

To our defense we are normally lovely, caring and devoted parents. We love holidays and mostly give them our all. We even started hiding an elf in December like the rest of the world. We love our kids, sacrifice for them on a daily basis and are probably somewhere above average in the care and attention and love we give them.

But we suck at Halloween and are proud of it. This morning we almost let them go to school with no picture and almost slept in and then just felt too guilty. We are like the show last nigh t”Les Parents” where the parents run out of the house at 5pm so no kids come to their door for candy. Tonight will be the second time in our live we don’t give out candy. Last year we put a bowl on the gallery and went out to dinner. 14 yrs. before that every year we forced ourselves to open the door and say “Wow look at that witch! Scary”!

All that to say the biggest biggest revelation I have as a parent this year on Halloween is that kids just get it done. When parents butt out (which for me only pretty much occurs every oct 31) the kids take over and so what they need to do. No one reminded them about making plans tonight, none helped them put together costumes…none rummages through the basements and found old sheets that went through the laundry machine  with bleach and everything  by himself…

Kids get it done even when you think they won’t. When they see you are not doing it they totally step in and use their own devices. All of this kicked in last night around 8opm..they got it done without a word of advice from their lame parents.

I have seen a lot of people around me all grown up with lots of people saving them left right and center lately. I am glad that Halloween will teach my kids they can also do it on their own if their parents are too boring. (talk about some good self talk for guilt eh?)

There is always a hidden treasure people. Sometimes you just have to dig really hard for it.

Lessons learned. Halloween is getting WAY more interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bring it ON!

PG 2013

We had our first Phenomenal Girls Weekend (PG) this weekend in Kingston!!!

It was so much fun!

 

 

Highlights of PG 2013:

Beauty and I taking train together to Kingston

Beauty and I hitting Target (40 $ in taxi rides but worth it) while we waiting for the girls to arrive

Dinner out at Copper Penny with Leah and Lexie and best appetizers ever (and saltiest fries ever too!)

Video star..videostar,,video Star!!!!!

Crazy PG’s running in hotel halls in pyjamas

TLC-say yes to the dress!!!

SleepingJ)

Breakfast and swimming and hot tub. Discoloured bathing suits from chlorine!

PG-Lesson and journaling-Faith. Seeing Savvy in Action-love it! Soooooo cool

Swiss Chalet for lunch

Lost art project and lessonsJ

Book Club discussion:A Hundred Dresses.

Lots of conversations about friendships, and girls and values over lunch at Swiss Chalet. Soooo interesting. I learnt a ton about my daughter, Lexie and even Savvy. It’s amazing what you can learn when you can ask  the right questions and are not afraid of hearing the real answers. It is truly liberating. I love liberated and uncensored communication in this way.

Lots of “Parental Guidance “(my secret PG nameJ))

Shopping!!! Hitting the malls

Goodbye at the train L((

Promises to always make PG a priority forever and ever (even when we are 90) Promises that it will always be just this group and the only people to join are our son’s wives and all our kids’ daughters.

Wondering and praying we will like our son’s wives!

Bonding and Great train ride home with Beauty.

Homecoming: A rare Saturday night where we are all home when we are not at cottage. All 5 sitting around table..laughing..talking..eating Lebanese.

Beauty’s Grade 6 trip is revealed!!!

 

Yay PG!!!

 

 

 

C'est Tout.

 

This is what is running through my mind right now. C'est Tout. That's it.

 

Beauty we found out Friday morning was accepted to Dance program at the high school she was accepted too!!!!. It's all done. Finally. Phew.

 

After going through this totally gruelling process for over 5 yrs. now with all three kids....I honestly can’t believe we have arrived at our final designation.

 

Three kids at this school and their three programs of choice.

 

Now does this guarantee their future? Guarantee they graduate there? Guartentee success and happiness or anything else? No..no..no..
What it does guarantee is that our 3 children will have a wonderful educational platform to start off and begin with and do what they want with.
It guarantees their will see this as a gift and an opportunity and guarantees that they will come out of this being confident....disciplined and determined.

 
We are there.

And the dance or sports program enable the student to really feel passionate about high school. To pursue their dreams within the academic curriculum together. To fully integrate their passions and interests in their educations.



I honestly can’t believe it is over. My Protector and I looked at each other after receiving the convocation email Friday morning and said “What do we do now?" We are so used to having these goals as our compass...what are we supposed to focus on now? (Don’t worry we will find things pretty quickly).

 
But as hard as all this has been over the last 5 yrs and as much time as it has taken from our lives in some areas, as much anxiety that has accompanied it all, and as much laser focus has need to have been sucked up......and most importantly as much as the future has no promises of success or happiness or even academic fulfilment...

 
We have managed as a family to achieve a few very important things.

All three kids know how to have a dream.....work hard to make it come true....and work their asses  of to get what they want.


All three kids are very confident and have very "can do" attitudes


All three kids really feel that their education is a privilege  that should not be taken for granted


All three kids really believe in themselves and their talents


They are all fearless in many many ways in this world



All three kids are very determined, hardworking and devoted.



And all three kids started out as and remain very very different students, personalities, and people.  All three struggles in different areas .All three however were very shaped by this experience in very positive ways. A bit like sleep training as babies.....they all strted different and ended up in this place of confidence by many many steps, lessons and teachings.

This has been a family affair.
 

And much of this has to do with this crazy, hard, stressful process of high school entrance ...and acceptance. I owe so much to this process.
Our kids have a ton to work on...so do we.....many many areas of improvement. But

One of our strongest goals as parents was always (and still is):


To ensure that our children were confident in life and believe in themselves. For us that was always the foundation of any type of future joy, happiness, success, love , self love, etc.



And finally.....I can say:



We are partially there. Phase 1 is officially complete.

We are more than ready to take on Phase 2.

Yahoo!!!!

 

 

Congrats Beauty!!!!