Let's keep it honest here people.
My kids are grating on my nerves, especially since we got
back from vacation in Spain.
My mentality sucks lately-it’s sort of like: My gosh we have done this parenting thing
for so long-give us a damn (the nice word!) break. It’s like we are worn
out-like an old pair of shoes. Just too much at once. And even the normal stuff
we seem to be struggling with. It’s like we have expired or something. It feels
ridiculous actually.
I know we will get back on track and be praying again for
those little chickadees to live here as long as possible before starting their
own lives …but for the moment…sending them off to college out of town sound
peaceful (I did not say that!!!)
It’s a fact that we (and our kids) are not good at transitions.
So as luxurious as a vacation is for us to be able to take,we pay for it
majorly when we get back. Our kids don’t want us back either so that does not
help. All routine has been broken, they make their own rules, and they realize
how much more relaxing it is without us around. We also get used to the ease of
life with two of us.
I have always known that if we were divorced we would suck
at it if we had to transition back and forth between not having kids with us to
having them with us. I have found in my circle of people I know divorced those
with blended families who have kids around most of the time fare much better
than those who have kids part of the time and then no kids half the week. (Or
one week one week) I remember three collegues of mine at work always saying
that they felt perpetually annoyed with their children upon their return from
the other parent’s house as the transitions were so frequent and the aloneness
so quiet! I think I would be like that !I suck at transition!
Let’s just say our return from vacation has not been smooth
at home. The second night I think Chase lost his mind. Literally. This fairly
even tempered human being just decided to start screaming at us both about our
diet and health habits (that are for the record the best they have even been in
our lives!) He screamed that my protein shakes are stupid and going to kill me,
he told us that we needed to be eating chicken breasts and avocados and bananas
every morning for breakfast (yuck! And PS I am allergic to avocado and bananas
and he knows it!) He just lost it for 5 hrs and screamed and ranted and raved and
called us retarded. It all started when I asked him to clean the kitchen and he
said that when Didi was here she let him do it at 11pm.
He apologized but it was-fricking odd of an episode and now
every time I don’t eat chicken for breakfast I feel like a big loser.
Next comes the news of the week. Beauty left her brace on
the city bus and it was never found. No ..no..not the free rigid one that the
government pays for..the day brace that we invested in that costs
3,500$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and is adjusted to her body with hours
and hours of x-rays and corrective movement positions and tests and appts etc.
And that usually is uncomfortable for weeks after and takes many adjustments to
get back to comfort after an adjustment.
PS-just call this a total nightmare. She is booked to get
the new brace next Thursday. I am quite certain that after 56 hours the lost
and found will not find her brace at the city bus unit but let’s just hope for
a miracle. (And I hesitate to even complain about this as quite frankly I would
take this problem over any health problem of Beauty or anyone else) The stress
I feel over this is ZERO compared to the stress I feel in the hospitals waiting
for her x-rays results every 6 months. So this is minor but feels very major
right now.
Anyways fact is..I feel tired of parenting this week. If I
could I would hide under my blankets in bed for a week and eat bonbons and
maybe even smoke cigarettes and get drunk (PS I don’t smoke or drink)..I would.
It doesn’t help that Hubby and I have set a goal to lose 5
lbs each in the next 4 weeks and so I have been living on protein shakes and almonds
and cheese. And a biteful of Greek salad at night on a good day. I lost two
pounds already this week but let’s just say I am a little crabby.
Also hard to have nothing to look forward to on weekends as
the next 4 of them are pure work around the house. Marathon work. A friend said
to me this week she cannot believe how disciplined we are with setting time
aside on weekends to get stuff done around the house. I laughed as we have no
choice but to do this! I hate it! But with a house and a cottage and three
teens stuff needs to be done and we are forced to do this (which is so worth it
to enjoy the cottage in the seasons that we relax more winter and summer) But
man oh man I am not looking forward to the next month of major chores and not
eating.
(That chicken and avocado and banana is starting to sound
pretty good)
So ya although I love vacation……I have to say there is a
cost.
And that cost for us seems to be that parenting gets on our
nerves after (sorry kids can’t always be positive!)
The other day my husband got out of bed and 5 mins later
came back..almost in tears and just asked me to hold him tightly. Worried as completely
out of character I said “My gosh what happened” and he said……
Just can’t do real
life.
Honey, as silly and dramatic as that sounds I get you. There is something
about the transition of summer to winter that just does us all in mentally and
physically. Throw in an extra 4k there and a ton more of radiation and some chicken
breasts for breakfast and I want to cry with youJ
