I made the decision last night in bed at 4:30am that I
was going on strike for the holidays (16 luscious days actually). I woke up my
husband at 4:45am and announced it.
The great thing is that it is not (really) a revenge
strike-or trying to get anyone back in particular, or a mean or nasty one. It
is just the consequence of some natural occurring events over the last 18 yrs. It
was the product of a big blow out with my almost 18 yrs. old son yesterday now in Cegep and only in exams has the
misfortune of being with me at home all week while I am trying to work and he
is trying to be teen.
It was also the product of a huge discussion that me,
Hubby and that same kid Chase had in front of the fire last night juts the
three of us about our parenting styles and some suggestions he had (mostly for
my husband in the raising of our other two children. For the first time we
allowed to Chase to see our own misalignment on a few issues and did not
present a united front. Instead we presented a rather heated discussion with
some swear words thrown in. It was an adult conversation and debate in many
ways between three adults. Very hard but also Very awesome! This morning as we woke up…I
felt so close to Chase (even though I am on strike)
So how does a woman who literally never cooks or does laundry
hardly ever go on strike? How does that happen? What is she striking from?
FROM BEING FORCED TO FOR OVER 18 YRS BEING THE BAD GUY
(GIRL!) NAGGER AND DISCIPLINARIAN IN THE FAMILY. A STRIKE FROM NAGGING AFTER
CHORES AND ORDER, GETTING OFF TECHNOLOGY, PLANNING FUN THINGS THOSE KIDS ARE
INCREASINGLY UNGRATEFUL FOR. A STRIKE FROM NAGGING BASICALLY! (aka :a strike
from being me?)
When my husband said last night that he felt that all
three kids could not stand me anymore that was it. I cracked. I went on
strike.
What I realized in my talk with Hubby and Chase last
night? Maybe sometimes they can’t stand me-but they respect me. A ton. And for
people who can’t stand me I certainly get a whole lot of texts saying I love
you, I miss you and I need your advice Mama. I personally think I am doing a
damn good jobJ
So this morning I handed Hubby a diagram of certain parameters
we have in our home that must be abided to (order, chores, family time, time
outside and away from technology, actives outside of the house) and told him to
get to work with all this over the next 16 days of holidays. I told him he is
for the next two week within those parameters, do all the nagging, all the
discipline, all the planning and all the fun stuff too. And while he is at it
he can continue to cook and clean and ask for my help if he wants. When he
asked for the grocery list I told him to make one himself. I am not even going
to hide the elf!
And he started! Today! It sounds crazy but I actually
had:
A SUPER DAY!!! I hardly had any anger or revenge or bad thoughts
I just did my thing. Each times the kids would come and ask me to make a decisions
like “Can I bring my x-box to the cottage” “what time are we leaving to go do
errands?” I simply sent them to their dad to answer1 How liberating! For the
next two weeks my kids are puppies and their father is their Master.
Chase came in and said “OMG Daddy is so different from
yesterday’s talk-he screamed at me twice already today!” and me? I didn’t
notice as was busy bloggingJ))
Anyways for now the strike feels wonderful. Who knows if
it will actually last the next two weeks this reversal of roles? Or who knows
if it won’t last a lifetime? But something about just having the goal of staying calm and collected
as a cucumber (why is a cucumber considered more serene that a green pepper
BTW?) is really really relaxing. Is this how men feel all the time?
I am up to my eyeballs in work, wrapping gifts and life. It’s
time for a real break isn’t it? Lucious. (Thank goodness he has not asked me to
cook for the next two weeks)
Chase? We may have fought it out yesterday but MAN is you
smart. And courageous. And have a good head on your shoulders. Thanks for
putting up with these two parents of yours and talking some sense into us.
Thanks for the strike!
Note: I am now editing this post before I post it and it
is the next morning. I always promised to be honest on this blog so here it
goes:
By this morning I am less relaxed. Delegating is hard!
Especially when the decisions people make are just plain dumb! Somehow last
night at midnight my Hubby allowing Bear to leave the feel good xmas part right
at the part of the Xmas lesson and go play video games instead just didn’t sit
with me well (ps we have never ever allowed video games at the cottage as the
kid is addicted enough at home! )
Ya this strike thing? Not so sure anymore .
I don’t think I am capable (or want) to be a cucumber.
