Last night I had a
houseful of girls here . 6 to be exact and then my two boys .
There was a dance at
the highschool for sec 3 and they all came here to sleep last night
Bear was at a girl's
house so we got him at 12:30am . The girls got home at midnight
. Through it all Chase was trying to study (in the living room ! )
All that to say it
was a crazy night and Hubby and I went to bed well past 2am
and of course work this morning where they all have a day off . We left our
door open as we were scared that one of the girls
( no names !! ) was
going to sneak into the boys bedrooms !!
So all of this made
me feel ..... Well ... Alive again
We used to put so
much emphasis on our kids social lives and having their friends over and
getting to know them ... But for some reason last couple of years have done
less and less . Lack of energy ? Motivation ? Scared of teen world ? Other stuff going on? Self
absorbed ? Focusing on other family stuff ? Selfish ? I don't know ... But we
went through a bigger dry spell in this as we used to be amazing at it . We still often see their friends but are not "the" place anymore
In the last month I
have noticed this deficit and placed intentional focus on it more . I am using
our free time to have thier friends over more . During the week - on weekends
at cottage .
Prioritizing it all more again . Even next week Chase's new really good friend
coming over as I demanded I meet him even thought Chase claims he " is way
to old for this "
It's funny how when
we focus on some things in life - things change .
It was damn hard and
scary having these teens here last night in many ways . Now conversations have
shifted from " let's show you a dance ! " to what boy got suspended
who had alcohol in his bag at the dance to them all pairing off with boyfriends
and talking obsessively about that . To my boys actually having any interest
whatsoever in hanging with Beauty's friends . The conversations
, the interests ,
the topics . Everything has changed and change scares me
I feel the peer
pressure too as we are always way behind the times with our kids . All of these
girls are allowed their boyfriends at their cottages and on trips with them ...
While I am still thinking I am so generous to allow mine one Valentine's Date .Truly thought was so nice of me and not strict
I am confused where
my values lie . What I think is right . And wrong . And what may be right for
me might be wrong for my girl ? Or opposite ? I feel the pull of peer pressure
- of what my friends think of me and what other parents think of me . What my
daughter thinks of me . It's like being a teen all over again myself ! Lol Everyone seems to have a different opinion on this subject!!! and I like them all!
It's a tough and
beautiful stage just as every phase with my kids seems to be
But it felt amazing
to have a houseful of their friends just like the old days ( 2 yrs ago and
every year before that ) I hugged and hugged those girls and never wanted to
let them go . I adore them - I truly do . And they scare me to with their self
confidence and assertiveness and power and beauty . My own daughter
glows with friends and is adored . I love seeing that for her. These girls are power houses-I cant wait to see where life takes them all.
And I will never
forget after one of the new girls
met me and hubby
and chase and bear she turns to me in French y and says " Beaute fatale ta
famille !!! " (everyone has fatal beauty in your family)
I love their aliveness . And how alive they make me feel. For the first time in a while I felt like dressing cool today:)
(And they stills scare
me too)
There is something
about raising teens that we feel we come undone oursleves . It's such a challenge . So
confusing . Sometimes I have no clue if I am doing it right or wrong . With
three of them here two years apart I seem to be dealing with every teen issue
under the sun all at once in a rotation . That being said I feel in my element
- and alive with happiness and stress and self doubt . I am so much better as a
teen mom than I was of young kids . I feel like with each new experience I live
with them - I am more capable and we are closer with each disagreement and each
rage and problem . It's such a damn hassle but so needed to live this all with them-one frustrating beautiful moment at a time (with chase had a huge houserules talk for 2 hrs too amidst this all!)
I feel in my element
And scared !!!
