Just a quick note to say...I am still alive!!! So many blogs in my mind..so much to say, but so little time.
Happy to say starting the new year off partying, drinking ( I rarely do!), with good friends and just generally having a blast. As I write now we had 8 adults and 14 kids sleeping at Trent-my idea of a great time actually. Exhausting but amazing.
Enjoying the kids, enjoying our friends and letting loose a whole lot.
I have to say these last few days have been a whole lot less deliberate than my normal life and it has been wonderful.
I love our routines and traditions-but also love just letting go too and going a bit crazy:) Sometimes for me just living one spontaneous moment at a time without thinking about it...is just what the doctor ordered and what this family needs. Happy to have a mix of both in our lives.
I will be back soon though and looking forward to a great blogging year ahead.
I have a special guest blogger to introduce to you next week.....I can't wait for you to meet her. I can guarantee she will spice up my blog a bit. Coming soon-next week actually so stay tuned.
Happy New year!!!!
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday FAQ-Sibling Stuff
I have been asked a few questions lately on siblings. I have bucketed them into the below two questions:
Do your three kids get along most the time or fight a lot?
Ahhh..tricky question and one that my Hubby and I reflect on quite often.
I would say that they get along extremely well compared to some of what I have seen, read and heard. They seem to truly enjoy each other's company most of the time and rely on each other for play, talk, wrestling, fun, games and complaining about their parents.
BUT..........and this is a BIG but........this causes lots of chaos around our home. They are LOUD together, and OBNOXIOUS together, run around and around all the time together. They are often found (this in not a joke I swear) all three hurdled in a wrestling ball together faking to beat each other up in a loving way many, many times per day. They are ALWAYS all together. They barely need to make friends because of each other and this is just plain odd.
And they are NOT growing out of this with age at all!!None of my kids ever lock themselves in their rooms alone or wear headphones, or sleep in for half the day. They love being the 5 of us everywhere and every minute in very LOUD ways.
So although most the time they are super close-as in all three attached all the time, it is in a hyper, loud and in an often annoying way that makes their lovely sibling connection unbearable at times but we are so happy they are so close even if it drives us bonkers.
And often they do fight too and call each other stupid and ugly (many times a day) but their grudges don't seem to last very long.
After seeing the movie Brother Bears-we really felt that our brother and sister kids are really part of the bear family (and this is not a joke either).
Hope that answers the question??
What is your number one tip for siblings who fight? How do we handle siblings constant quarreling?
Over the years I have tried and recommended many strategies. My two best are below:
1-Don't ever get involved unless someone is getting physically attacked and hurt (and is not play wrestling)
Expect that your kids solve their issues between them themselves and then at moments such as bedtime discuss with them strategies individually of how to deal with an annoying little sister or dominant older brother.
Don't play referee-unless you want this as your full time job which I can almost guarantee your kids will expect you to do if you take sides or take on the solving for them.
2- I used this one just yesterday and was reminded how good it really is. My kids were calling each other stupid and ugly since Xmas and each was coming to us complaining about the other one and what he or she said ( the downfalls of being on vacation at a cottage together 24 his a day for 2 weeks ).
I simply said "well then instead of any TV time today at the end of the day-you will all go down to the basement and play a quiet and cooperative game together. This will help you appreciate each other more since TV is clearly not helping as an activity. Maybe after this game time together you will think each other smarter and prettier"
The result??: Hubby and I enjoyed martinis and a book by the fire for an hour and a half in peace and they played Scattegories together and came up afterwards and said they loved that game! It was fun! Can we all play it tonight (which we did). They played three times since.....
And today I did not hear anyone call anyone else ugly.
Although trust me they have not been angels either-but there seemed to be some improvement, they learned a new game and we got some much needed peace and quiet.
All in all having siblings for your kids in my opinion is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child. Let's face it they will have each other for much longer than they will have us.
That being said, watching these relationships unfold and grow can also be exhausting! Truly I look at the peaceful home of my friends has with one 11 year old girl and I think "wow-you get to enjoy being a mother and peace...hm mm-sounds lovely!!"
Do your three kids get along most the time or fight a lot?
Ahhh..tricky question and one that my Hubby and I reflect on quite often.
I would say that they get along extremely well compared to some of what I have seen, read and heard. They seem to truly enjoy each other's company most of the time and rely on each other for play, talk, wrestling, fun, games and complaining about their parents.
BUT..........and this is a BIG but........this causes lots of chaos around our home. They are LOUD together, and OBNOXIOUS together, run around and around all the time together. They are often found (this in not a joke I swear) all three hurdled in a wrestling ball together faking to beat each other up in a loving way many, many times per day. They are ALWAYS all together. They barely need to make friends because of each other and this is just plain odd.
And they are NOT growing out of this with age at all!!None of my kids ever lock themselves in their rooms alone or wear headphones, or sleep in for half the day. They love being the 5 of us everywhere and every minute in very LOUD ways.
So although most the time they are super close-as in all three attached all the time, it is in a hyper, loud and in an often annoying way that makes their lovely sibling connection unbearable at times but we are so happy they are so close even if it drives us bonkers.
And often they do fight too and call each other stupid and ugly (many times a day) but their grudges don't seem to last very long.
After seeing the movie Brother Bears-we really felt that our brother and sister kids are really part of the bear family (and this is not a joke either).
Hope that answers the question??
What is your number one tip for siblings who fight? How do we handle siblings constant quarreling?
Over the years I have tried and recommended many strategies. My two best are below:
1-Don't ever get involved unless someone is getting physically attacked and hurt (and is not play wrestling)
Expect that your kids solve their issues between them themselves and then at moments such as bedtime discuss with them strategies individually of how to deal with an annoying little sister or dominant older brother.
Don't play referee-unless you want this as your full time job which I can almost guarantee your kids will expect you to do if you take sides or take on the solving for them.
2- I used this one just yesterday and was reminded how good it really is. My kids were calling each other stupid and ugly since Xmas and each was coming to us complaining about the other one and what he or she said ( the downfalls of being on vacation at a cottage together 24 his a day for 2 weeks ).
I simply said "well then instead of any TV time today at the end of the day-you will all go down to the basement and play a quiet and cooperative game together. This will help you appreciate each other more since TV is clearly not helping as an activity. Maybe after this game time together you will think each other smarter and prettier"
The result??: Hubby and I enjoyed martinis and a book by the fire for an hour and a half in peace and they played Scattegories together and came up afterwards and said they loved that game! It was fun! Can we all play it tonight (which we did). They played three times since.....
And today I did not hear anyone call anyone else ugly.
Although trust me they have not been angels either-but there seemed to be some improvement, they learned a new game and we got some much needed peace and quiet.
All in all having siblings for your kids in my opinion is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child. Let's face it they will have each other for much longer than they will have us.
That being said, watching these relationships unfold and grow can also be exhausting! Truly I look at the peaceful home of my friends has with one 11 year old girl and I think "wow-you get to enjoy being a mother and peace...hm mm-sounds lovely!!"
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
To Be Kind
As my kids sat down this year and were asked to prepare their lists of what they wanted from “Santa” this year…I realized that as adults we often miss this opportunity to list what our hearts really desire.
We don’t get to send our own wishes to the North Pole and have them magically fulfilled on Christmas morning. Or hand them over to our parents to make come true.
What we really want or really need might even be much unknown to the people we love most…since we might not ever even tell them.
I was very lucky enough over the last few days to have something I really really want and need, to be magically taken care of by two other people in my life. It really felt like a random act of kindness to me….something that will stick in my mind and my heart forever. Something they may never realize the full impact their gesture had on me (until they read my blog tonight)!
If I did have a Santa list I doubt I would ever ask for anything material, it’s just not the type of thing I really want in general. My wish list is much harder to get than a new blender and often demand a lot of hope, hard work and determination on many levels. Often my wishes feel like I am wishing for the impossible. And I somehow make them possible and achievable.
I have four mentors in my professional life that I very often go to and ask advice to because I consider them so much smarter, and more worldly than I am currently. One of them recently told me “ how interesting he found it that I never seek advice on matters that involves myself but only on matters than involve my children or family” another one told me “all it takes to get what you want is one conversation-the right one. Keep on having those conversations until you reach the right one that will fulfill your desire”.
So I have been going around in the last few months having many many conversations about my son Bear having missed his sports exam at high school ,due to surgery, and trying to find that one that will actually get him into this program. If you read my blog you know I am up against what feels like a concrete and solid wall of the thickest concrete. Bureaucracy, processes, politics and precedence. Namely; the Elite Private French school system in Quebec.
So this Christmas I decided to give myself a gift. And instead of just talking (and likely boring) people about this subject, I decided to actually enlist their help. This help asking rarely occurs to me, it’s just not my style. It’s one thing to discuss and talk to people but to actually interfere with their time and life and request something I could possibly do myself?
I did it and it feels great.
(I recommend this to anyone who feels like their heart is about to fall out, who carries sadness around like a heavy backpack and who can’t stop obsessing about an important but all over trivial topic in the grand scheme of life that is not life threatening or harmful to health).
One day as my mentors words of “You need to have the right conversation” my Sister Schopenhauer appeared in my mind. A vision of her and her brilliance occurred to me. So I texted her and told her I absolutely needed to speak to her about Bear as quickly as possible.
Now keep in mind Sister Schopenhauer and I have a long history of trying to connect and playing phone tag and missing each other all the time. We are both very busy people, live in different countries, have both kids and busy careers and lots going on. We often promise to connect but can’t make it happen as often as we would like.
But this particular text….made her drop everything. It just shows the size of her huge heart. She really understood my panic-and if I was asking for help in the middle of the day when I knew perfectly well she was at the grocery store buying food for my niece’s birthday party with 6 girls sleeping over for her b-day…..I must be very desperate.
And so she spoke to me for 30 minutes on her cell, long distance, from the grocery store while my other niece fetched dips, and chips, and brown bread and veggie burgers. She listened, she analyzed and she took it all in. And she did not just listen…. she took a load off of me and unto herself. She sent me a lifeline.
A few days later she set me my gift: A draft of a letter that I can send to the school
And this should not just be called a letter. It is a fine masterpiece of art. It is a winner if I have ever seen one.
She additionally sends it to my brother for his comments. My brother is also brilliant. His comments on her draft were insightful, thought provoking, extremely relevant and he asked me to consider and reflect on some important points that I had failed to ponder.
Not sure if I have mentioned on my blog what a smart family I come from. It has actually always freaked me out a bit as to be honest with you my own IQ must be so much lower. My brother and sister in law are PHD’s, high academics who are professors and writers at important USA Universities. Honesty I regard them in the highest honor and my two nieces are every bit as gifted as their parents. My other brother is a producer at ABC and also a lawyer also in the USA. I am happy to be part of this wonderful gene pool and feel assured that if I need some good sound advice or some powerful media connections my brothers will take care of their little sisterJ
The final version of the draft gives me more than enough to write my own letter and is an extremely convincing, intelligent, respectful, political savvy plea for an appeal.
Schopenhauer even offered to fly out here to Montreal and go to the school herself!! One academic to another could be quite powerful don’t you think? Not to mention she is the sweetest thing on earth and beautiful. Intelligence, brains and sweetness can be a powerful and dangerous combination for men siting on the other side of the desk.
This conversation with Sister Schopenhauer and Brother Aero Mint, more than the letter…was the right conversation. I needed it it at that time and it set of a whole course of actions. I may need to use the letter and I may not if I have news before I send it, but my head is in the right place. I have been interrogated by two intelligent and reflective people. They put me on the path I was trying to find all alone in the dark. They caught my desperation and they dealt with it.
They loved me fully. They gave me my Christmas wish. They gave me themselves.
So as I move into stage two of my appeal….I move into it with a sense of kindness ,because I have felt kindness myself. I move ahead with understanding and a listening ear-because I have been bestowed this gift I. I move into this with compassion for the other point of view, because I have been heard. I move ahead with quiet, kind, positive and hopeful determination in a positive and tranquil and stress free type of way…because I don’t feel so alone.
I feel like I have people by my side that will be there beside me as “WE” win this. Together.
If there is one thing I have learned in my year of transformation, it has been the powerful influence of others in my life. I have spent so much of my life listening, and coaching and solving that it feel tremendously good to share and to seek and to ask for assistance. As one mentor put it “to allow the full contributions of others”.
I feel happy to have the pieces of my puzzle scattered and to have a team to help me assemble it. I am in awe of the kindness that was given to me today my sister in law and brother.
This gift will last me many years, as I pay it forward many times over to others. As I bask in the fullness and wonder…of simple receiving.
Merry Christmas to Me.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Gratitude For........
A Bear who is with his family in front of the fire on the day after Christmas about to start a family movie....who then says to his siblings and parents and Grandma:
"Instead of watching a movie why don't we just all get a book and read?"
And so we do. Until midnight and a half. All together QUIETLY. Siblings QUIETLY fall asleep cuddled into eachother's arms.
It's a Miracle. Truly.
It's amazing how one single sentence from a Polar Bear's sweet lips seems to make all the effort I put into mothering all so worth it:)
PS- I am also so grateful for the same child clearing the skating rink on the lake 24hrs a day with huge passion and love:))))))
"Instead of watching a movie why don't we just all get a book and read?"
And so we do. Until midnight and a half. All together QUIETLY. Siblings QUIETLY fall asleep cuddled into eachother's arms.
It's a Miracle. Truly.
It's amazing how one single sentence from a Polar Bear's sweet lips seems to make all the effort I put into mothering all so worth it:)
PS- I am also so grateful for the same child clearing the skating rink on the lake 24hrs a day with huge passion and love:))))))
Monday, December 26, 2011
Wanted: Democracy?
I realized today what it is our family needs at this stage of our life.
I realized I hold the key to this door.
I am (semi) excited to open it.
It's what I need to build at this point of time. I need to create a high performing democratic team at home. We need to all become full participants on many issues.
Everything won't be a united decision but much of it will need to be decided on and agreed on by all members involved..
I realized yesterday gone are the days I can say "write a note to Santa and leave him some cookies". My kids are growing up, they need to be a part of what we do and how we do it......more and more often.
Next year we might all decide that Santa should have a vodka martini and some calamari to munch on...who knows what is ahead for this family?
Apparently not allowing texting friends from the cottage at midnight for a 14 year old is "infringing on his social life and human rights".
Ok..I can see that-propose another point of view. Vive la Liberte a Quebec!
So 2012 will be about taking this team to a whole new level. I am petrified as much as I am looking forward to the challenge.
Goes against every natural and intuitive bone in my body as a way of being.....but the same time know its the direction I have preparing for in the last year. Launch time is upcoming-it seems to be right around the corner.
There is fire in my belly called Ambiguity, Democracy and Collaboration. (I am sure trusting the process fits in there too somehow as far as I try to run I can't seem to hide from it too long).
So more green at work-more collaborative. More gossip and more of a complainer about workload . More shots of Baileys, more white wine and less milk with dessert at functions. More coffee stations chats and longer lunches.
Jealous of my development plan yet???
At home-less of my decisions and more of theirs. Santa getting drunk, smarties and popcorn allowed to be dropped and not picked up off floor, but fish picked up if less than 5 minutes and reindeer eating seafood. Oh ya ...texting girls at midnight and 14 year olds driving motorized all terrain vehicles alone (after midnight) perfectly normal right? Lattes served to 11 year old works too if that is what the team is rooting for!
All in all it will be an interesting year ahead . That is pretty much a given and guaranteed.
I may not be recognizable by the end of this all-but that's ok too. By mid year I have not committed yet to platinum blond or jet black hair-it's all on the table for discussion. Maybe my husband will decide (on his way to sell my wedding rings) to buy a bowl and put it on my head and cut around it to save a few extra dollars too. He also of course gets his say.
Toddler hood. Teenagers. Transitions. Transformations
Bring this on! It sounds.....absolutely terrifying!!!! Yikes!!!!!
So much easier to bark out commands and deliberate traditions. Are you sure we can't just stay this way with me in charge? Pretty Please?
I realized I hold the key to this door.
I am (semi) excited to open it.
It's what I need to build at this point of time. I need to create a high performing democratic team at home. We need to all become full participants on many issues.
Everything won't be a united decision but much of it will need to be decided on and agreed on by all members involved..
I realized yesterday gone are the days I can say "write a note to Santa and leave him some cookies". My kids are growing up, they need to be a part of what we do and how we do it......more and more often.
Next year we might all decide that Santa should have a vodka martini and some calamari to munch on...who knows what is ahead for this family?
Apparently not allowing texting friends from the cottage at midnight for a 14 year old is "infringing on his social life and human rights".
Ok..I can see that-propose another point of view. Vive la Liberte a Quebec!
So 2012 will be about taking this team to a whole new level. I am petrified as much as I am looking forward to the challenge.
Goes against every natural and intuitive bone in my body as a way of being.....but the same time know its the direction I have preparing for in the last year. Launch time is upcoming-it seems to be right around the corner.
There is fire in my belly called Ambiguity, Democracy and Collaboration. (I am sure trusting the process fits in there too somehow as far as I try to run I can't seem to hide from it too long).
So more green at work-more collaborative. More gossip and more of a complainer about workload . More shots of Baileys, more white wine and less milk with dessert at functions. More coffee stations chats and longer lunches.
Jealous of my development plan yet???
At home-less of my decisions and more of theirs. Santa getting drunk, smarties and popcorn allowed to be dropped and not picked up off floor, but fish picked up if less than 5 minutes and reindeer eating seafood. Oh ya ...texting girls at midnight and 14 year olds driving motorized all terrain vehicles alone (after midnight) perfectly normal right? Lattes served to 11 year old works too if that is what the team is rooting for!
All in all it will be an interesting year ahead . That is pretty much a given and guaranteed.
I may not be recognizable by the end of this all-but that's ok too. By mid year I have not committed yet to platinum blond or jet black hair-it's all on the table for discussion. Maybe my husband will decide (on his way to sell my wedding rings) to buy a bowl and put it on my head and cut around it to save a few extra dollars too. He also of course gets his say.
Toddler hood. Teenagers. Transitions. Transformations
Bring this on! It sounds.....absolutely terrifying!!!! Yikes!!!!!
So much easier to bark out commands and deliberate traditions. Are you sure we can't just stay this way with me in charge? Pretty Please?
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Wonders of Intuition
Here I am sitting at my desk and finishing up my files to soon get ready soon to leave work for the holidays and a line from a movie keeps popping up in my mind over and over and over for no real reason at all.
So I feel compelled to open my blog and write it down (which I never ever do at work since my blogs are written early morning or late at night)
So here it is and it is from the movie “Nanny McPhee” which I did not even know that I remembered: It goes something like this (well this is what popped into my head while I was peeing anyways..)
“Close your eyes. When you NEED me but do not WANT me I will be there by your side. When you WANT me but do not NEED me..it is time for me to go”
So really strange as I am not really a religious person nor do I truly, truly believe in Santa the way that Glee characters do (he is in my heart though) but it really felt like Santa was asking me to write this down on my blog!!!!! (No, no I am not drunk at work-although no one would know anyways since the entire building has been vacant it seems since 12pm today! LOL!!)
Weird, mysterious.
Then Santa says to my brain “What is your wish Tarina?. It is 1:11 on the clock. It is your lucky time….
And instead of wishing for what I always wish for in the last 3 months everyday…my brain says:
“Just wish for happiness in life in all the little moments,,in all the simple things. Unplanned happiness. Wish for it. It will always be yours.”
So I did!
So there is my intuitive blog, written at the most unlikely time of day, on the most unlikely subject, inspired by the most unlikely source.
I will get back now to my normal life that is not so spooky and finish cleaning up my desk, finish objective setting for 2012 for my work and sign off on performance appraisals. Then I will head home later in the car and stop for a shish taouk sandwich since they took all the food away today in the cafeteria, and start packing before dinner for my Christmas break.
I will try to put Santa and his weird Nanny McPhee notions out of my head.
PS-I also have an urge to go and purchase a lottery ticket-which I never do. I don't even know how to fill in a 649!
PS-I also have an urge to go and purchase a lottery ticket-which I never do. I don't even know how to fill in a 649!
But I have to say..I would not be surprised at all if real reindeers show up on my roof tomorrow night. Seriously People.
Merry Holidays Everyone!
Badges of Honour
I always try to find ways to look back on a year before it is over. So last night I went through my badges.
If you ask me about how I integrate Life and Work, this may be my best tip yet.
I write on my name tag badges.
I seem to be at many places for work where I need people to know what my name is. Either as the leader of seminars, a participant in the audience, as a keynote speaker or anything else that I attend throughout the year. And man the badges pile up! As I look at them-mostly offsite, I realize what a busy person I am.
So after each event on the back of the badge I write the date and I write a line to describe where I am at in that moment in my career and a line beneath of where I am at in my personal life. It is less where I am at in my actual life and more where my head and heart are at.
Sometimes it's a sentence and sometimes it's a word only. When I read them it brings me back to that place instantaneously and to that time.
Sometimes the career line is above the personal line and sometimes the opposite is true.
Reading them
I am thankful this year for the Company I work for. I sincerely love it there and fell in love with it and its values, and it's mission, and it's associates and everything it stands for from the moment I stepped foot in the elevator as a consultant 7 yrs ago.
There has never been a day I have not wanted to go there since. It fuels me, motivates me and inspires me.
It allows me to bring who I authentically am to the table allows me to sustain high performance in all of my "lives" at once.
If you ask me about how I integrate Life and Work, this may be my best tip yet.
I write on my name tag badges.
I seem to be at many places for work where I need people to know what my name is. Either as the leader of seminars, a participant in the audience, as a keynote speaker or anything else that I attend throughout the year. And man the badges pile up! As I look at them-mostly offsite, I realize what a busy person I am.
So after each event on the back of the badge I write the date and I write a line to describe where I am at in that moment in my career and a line beneath of where I am at in my personal life. It is less where I am at in my actual life and more where my head and heart are at.
Sometimes it's a sentence and sometimes it's a word only. When I read them it brings me back to that place instantaneously and to that time.
Sometimes the career line is above the personal line and sometimes the opposite is true.
I am thankful this year for the Company I work for. I sincerely love it there and fell in love with it and its values, and it's mission, and it's associates and everything it stands for from the moment I stepped foot in the elevator as a consultant 7 yrs ago.
There has never been a day I have not wanted to go there since. It fuels me, motivates me and inspires me.
It allows me to bring who I authentically am to the table allows me to sustain high performance in all of my "lives" at once.
I have cried of joy a number of times in my life (especially when my kids were born:)
I have also cried out of pure sadness a number of times but not that many. When I do there is usually something really, really hurting me. I am more of a "let a couple of tears be shed, and pick yourself up type of person".
Not when it comes to my career apparently.
I remember after my first 6 month contract at the company I work for now when I was a third party at the time and there was no budget to renew it. I literally stayed in bed for 2 days and cried and cried and cried (I know not very professional but I just could not get over it).
Thankfully for me it was the phone that rang on the third day and they were begging me to come back:)
Since then I have had two more contracts as a third party and then hired as an Associate with three promotions since.
Since then I have had two more contracts as a third party and then hired as an Associate with three promotions since.
And I still feel the same about my place of work.
I love it with my heart and soul. It still has the same ability to bring me to my knees.
So as I sorted the badges last night I saw my life, my work, and my goals all laid out in front of me. Some of those places I was I still am, some I have moved on from and some I will wear on me likely for the rest of my life.
One thing I know for sure though is that I view life in general as a constant state of learning. A constant state of progress and a constant state of weighing in as to where I sit on certain issues and elements of the world.
As I explained to my friend yesterday as we discussed differing point of view on a subject; I am getting comfortable with not always having completely clarity. What I may have believed yesterday could change today by new information, constant transformation and opening myself to see things in potential different ways than I have seen them in the past. I feel done with being right.
I feel this year I have been a work in progress and as an outcome so has some of the ways that we have always functioned as a family. I have felt this year in particular it was time to step out of my comfort zone in many ways; it has been really hard as normally I am someone who likes being pretty cozy.
It has been the same at my place of work-I have had to use ambiguity as a compass to really get me to my new stage of development. I have had to view things in different ways and to function on levels that are not necessarily as obvious to me. I have lost some of the clarity I have had in the past in both my family life and my career life and although it feels uncomfortable in many ways it also feels like a breath of fresh air.
Not always knowing for me is allowing me to access places I never knew existed; it's creating paths and opportunities that were never part of my original "plan". It's allowing me to come from a place of wonder much more often. As I said yesterday-I feel in awe so much of the time.
It has been the same at my place of work-I have had to use ambiguity as a compass to really get me to my new stage of development. I have had to view things in different ways and to function on levels that are not necessarily as obvious to me. I have lost some of the clarity I have had in the past in both my family life and my career life and although it feels uncomfortable in many ways it also feels like a breath of fresh air.
Not always knowing for me is allowing me to access places I never knew existed; it's creating paths and opportunities that were never part of my original "plan". It's allowing me to come from a place of wonder much more often. As I said yesterday-I feel in awe so much of the time.
So as I looked back at my badges..mostly I felt pride. Of this journey we have all been on and continue to share. Of allowing myself to accept some level of ambiguity in myself and my life and of being able to embrace it and still move on.
I look forward to a new year with new badges while keeping the old ones close enough to pull out and remember, to consider and to reflect on.
To integrate what was ..with what is.
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