I realized last night that really there are two things in life that I really enjoy:
Leisure &Work
Pretty much everything else I don’t like-which is a whole lot of stuff.
Most of the things in my life that I do daily or weekly end up falling into these two categories somehow either because they automatically do or I have ritualized them enough that my brain has been convinced that they do.
Exercise for example is leisure because I like it and makes my mind relax.
Tucking the kids in and cuddling them at night is leisure because it pleases me.
Shopping with the kids is leisure because it is fun and makes me happy.
Attending a funeral is even considered leisure because it is about bonding and deep relationships, as strange as that may seem.
Work is simply work but most days of the week I love it.
Writing is leisure and work.
Strategizing, planning and lists are totally leisure because it relaxes me to know that the future will have more leisure time because of them.
Travel; reading, sleeping, Jacuzzis, family dinners, spending time with friends or family, boating ,cottage etc…are clearly leisure.
So I realized last night why I hate anything related to domestic chores or packing. Because they aren’t work for me (which gives me a huge sense of satisfaction) and they are not leisure (because I hate doing them).
That’s where delegation comes in pretty handy!
It’s also why I will never be a stay at home Mom. I met a woman the other day who stays home with her one son of two years old and she makes her husband so the groceries on the weekends after a full week of work outside the home and go shopping for the son’s birthday party!!! That does not seem too fair does it???
I was in shock. My husband would kill make if I had done that one my maternity leaves. It was clear to us both that his job during those periods was outside of the home and mine was inside the home. Shopping, errands, packing, cooking, organizing, decorating, taking care of the kids needs re shopping, errands, etc…were my responsibility so that once he got home or on weekends we could relax somewhat as a family together and both spend quality time with our kids. Yes I did the stroller aerobics thing and the Chapter things for a coffee with another Mom -but that was the exception and a treat once or twice a week for a couple of hours just like a lunch break at work would represent
It’s called HOMEMAKER for a reason.
The rest I felt I owed it to my family to run the domestic show or that I was unfair to my husband and children. So I did but it was really hard, because besides being with my children and having fun with them and going to bookstores and foordcourts and exercise classes, there was not about domesticity that I remotely liked or that I was really good at either.
So last night even though we are going on a big trip to Europe today, and even though I am working most the day today at my place of work until 3pm when I leave, and even though the suitcases were calling my name to be zipped up and double checked-I chose leisure and I find myself doing it more and more.
Jacuzzi under the stars with hubby, a yummy double stuffed vanilla cookie to wish me a bon voyage, getting up extra early today to walk my daughter to school and get some girl time in there before I go, and extra cuddle from Chase in bed before school and some superb few extra blond highlights last night to shake it all up before Venice.
My head is always crowded by work and most the time I love it. But I have also decided to crowd my head with leisure in all of its shapes and forms and grab each moment I can get.
So I find myself breathing easier in the last 2 weeks, slowing down and smelling the roses a bit more, enjoying life just be wee bit more and giving myself a serious break on some levels.
I have honestly wondered if my housekeeper or Mom (see delegation!!!) have not laced my food with Ativan lately as I feel I am in a bit of a blur and man it feels good.
So I hope to keep some of this pace as I head into holidays but more importantly when I return. I am counting those years that I have left with my three babies and intend to make each moment count.
Not at home of course. While we work our asses off outside of the home and love it. To pay others to work their asses off inside of the home and do it well. All for the goal that we all have a whole lot of time in between this crazy life to soak all the wonderful moments in properly and together, the way it should be.
To acknowledge what I am and what I am not and go with that unique flow.
