My (not)Drop In Uncle

I got this incredibly sweet text at the end of the day yesterday asking if there was any chance my favorite Uncle who lives far away and happened to be in town for business could go over to my place and get some hugs from my kidsJ Uncle Chez Veto.

Of course the kids were thrilled to have him all to themselves for a couple of hours and we got to spend some great time with him after work for drinks and then dinner at our place.

So I knew that today the title of my blog would be “ Not Drop in Uncle” . Mainly because I love paradoxes and play with words….and although he happened to drop in yesterday…he and his family have been the opposite of “drop in” to us all.

We have been so much a part of each other’s lives for so many years. What I appreciate most about our relationships together is the effort (which has been easy) we make for each other and for each other’s families over the years. It is so fundamentally important to all of us and it has fueled all of our actions.

Most people I know have many aunts and uncles who drop in and out of their lives-depending on what is going on. “Oh you had another baby-a card sent”” A second-whoops was too busy that year-sorry forget”. “Third one-what’s her name again”?

Not my Uncle. Not my Aunt . Not my Cousins. They have consistently been there through everything in our lives as we have for them-even with the distance between us.

At one point for a couple of years we were a littler bit less close and had a big talk about it, and made sure we got quickly back on track to where we knew we belonged. We have openness, candor, trust and integrity between us. I love the relationships I have built with Veto and Auntie Chiffon because they are deliberate, and built, and nurtured. We make time for each other and always have.

So last night…we chatted and we talked and enjoyed each other’s company. We talked of happy things and harder things. As I looked across the table at uncle Chez Veto…..it came to mind that I have always adored him and he had always adored me. I have always pictured in my life that if something went really wrong, that he would be there for me to hold me up, and support me. He is physically capable that is certain at 6’5…but more than that he is mentally capable and I cannot express how his strength has been a comfort to me over so many years of my lifetime.

I will always remember him coming to the hospital with me to see my Dad. He understood how very hard that was to me. He understood why around my Dad I was a different girl, and he accepted this and respected this.

Two summers ago on my boat, I had asked Chiffon and Veto if anything every happened to us if they would take our three children if my Mom for whatever reason was ill, or help her with raising them if she was their guardian? I have to admit I was a little shy in asking such a HUGE commitment. They both looked at me with pure love…and said from the bottom of their hearts that they would raise all three like their own. No hesitation at all.

And I know they mean it. Is there a higher compliment in life?

So this man who dropped in last night…I adore. We have always sent each other little sweet texts and emails, and he read me a birthday poem about holding me in his arms when I was a baby when he was 8 yrs. old, he gave a speech at my wedding with tears in his eyes, and hugs me endlessly with his strong arms each time I see him.

I still have the urge to sit way atop his shoulders and ask him to run though the house without knocking my head off into a beam, and I still have the urge to run towards him and Auntie Chiffon if I am feeling blue. He always made time for me in his busy life and he adores my three children to an extent that has made our lives rich, and beautiful and full of love.

I love the way my Uncle loves me.

 

I look plenty forward to the next phases of our lives together. Summer get together’s at the lakes and cottages, winter get togethesr at the cottage and on Ridaud. Thanksgiving turkey carving lessons and Fall Colors Runs. His two children (my two godchildren who are in their early adult hoods now, are my definitions of the kindest hearted, wonderful people I know).

I would feel blessed if my three kids turned out anything like either of them.

So I felt blessed for the men in my life last night, Between Uncles Chez Veto, and my two wonderful brothers…I have had some pretty good examples of adoring men. I had a hard time with my Dad, but feel blessed that I have these other important men in my life,who have surrounded me with affection and love.

When Chez Veto left last night, I realized I want to keep making him proud. I am glad to have that goal to work towards.

So there you go DirtBag!

And next time you come over, I may just ask if I can step on your feet and walk around my whole house while my head reaches only the height your tummy. You have always made me feel precious and treated me with the utmost respect and love. You have highly contributed to the Woman and Mother I have become today.

And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything that has meant to me and our family. For being a wonderful example of strength, capability, humanness, vulnerability and love.

For ultimately teaching me that we should strive as much as possible to consider every blessing we have as “Chez Veto” and to invite as many moments like that into our lives as often as possible.

Especially one day ..spontaneously..in JulyJ