This weekend I am having some not so great times even if the weather is totally hot and beautiful.
I am sick. Have been for last 6 days and just keeps getting worse and worse and
now flu is turning into throwing up and the whole bit. My Dr (and Mom) have implied that is what happens when you are sick and just keep going and going without breaks to sleep and rest. And you keep working full force and not even
take a couple of hours off to sleep in a bit or come home earlier through horrible cough, fever, sinus stuff, major headaches throwing up and anything else you can think of.
Come to think of it-I was actually extremely productive at work this week! What Is wrong with me??
So this weekend I am trying to sleep and rest. I just feel so entirely overwhelmed with my life and my to do list. Whenever there is a change of seasons I feel like I cannot keep up. I feel like saying to the sun and lake-stop
tempting us we have so much work to do-we aren't ready for summer just yet!!!
Leave us alone-we have no time to bbq, and boat, and sit and watch the sunset or golf-or anything else fun.
Such a joy I am eh?
And then I become irritable with the kids because I am overwhelmed and sick and feeling crappy where really it has nothing to do with them. Can't they just laugh a
little quieter (or not at all) when I am trying to sleep all day? It's so hard to have kids when all you want to do is be alone, have peace and quiet and forget you have a million responsibilies. They are a constant reminder of all
three.
I really get on my husband's nerves when I act this way. Poor Guy.
I think I have obsessive compulsive order sometimes when it comes to Organization. It’s like I can't enjoy summer unless I have all my sun creams bought, mosquito repellent lined up and my bathing suits selected for all the good times. I think I must be a bit psycho. I wish I were not like this (and I
am certain my family would agree!!!)
I also wish my perceived "obsessive compulsive disorder" would reach the dirty dishes in the sink piled up and my clothes strewn on the floor in my bedroom. It
seems to be a very selective disorder for me!!!!
Right now up here in bed-I am even driving myself crazy and irritating myself! Thank goodness one of my girlfriends lent me a really steamy romance-apparently the rage right now even sold out in bookstores. Not sure this is the right book for me right now given my physical and mental state but I am willing to try anything at this point.
On top of everything my Mom just canceled our girl weekend in June at Trent as she predicts there will be too may blackflies and they hurt her. My only choice is to have her here all weekend in head to toes bee-swat team armored with a big mask over her face and netting covering every inch of her body. Somehow not the
relaxation and serenity by the lake I imagined us having given that I won't be able to make eye contact with her of hear what she is saying through her layers of nets!!!!
So like anything else...I hope tomorrow is better. Often all the many people in the world need is a good night sleep before life becomes more manageable, more
enjoyable and sweeter. Sometimes we need that 8 hour pause (or 5 hrs often in my case-therein lies the problem) to give us that fresh perspective we are craving.
So although today should be great as beginning of long weekend at Trent-it sucks. Today I suck.
Thought I would write about it...since that is what blogging is about right? The good days..with a handful or two of crappy ones mixed up in between (aka: LIFE).
Blogging is liberating when you write about this stuff.
It reminds me..and you...that all of us...have a whole lot of crap going on in between all those fairytale moments I choose to write about most of the time.
Goodnight!
(PS-just so everyone understands how wierd our family really is....the evening got better after I wrote this. Wrote this 10pm and sat down to DINNER 10:25pm with our three kids. Not a small dinner either, lobster entree, moules and
frites with tomato garlic sauce, homemade tabouleh and chocolate cake!!! Our daughter took breaks between courses to sleep on the couch)!
So even on the worst of days I can't get my act together to just..go to bloody bed and be normal and eat at 6pm like the rest of the nation.
But somehow this meal, at this crazy time of night, with these crazy people...reminded me just how much I love being part of this family and this home. Tomorrow I will definitely be in a better mood.
PSS-Now it is tomorrow and I am in a much better mood-and finally feel a bit better too. Did a whole bunch of physical work around the cottage, drove two
boys to golf course and hung around in the lake and on the dock with my other boy and girl-generally just enjoying life. Back on track!
