I have realized
what the weekends are and have always been for me: Mental breaks. Also being
present to my leisure needs, food needs and family needs. Time for good meals
and hugs and cuddles, times for spontaneity and reading. Time for creativity
and imagination.
I need mental
breaks and connection like most people need a good glass of wine after a busy
week. It’s my oxygen and what keeps me sane and in balance.
And I realize
that the reason these breaks are so necessary is because our weeks mon-Friday
are truly packed to the brim in every sense of the word. I have been trying to
figure out why lately and asking other people how they run their lives. Many
are home by 4pm..The earliest we are finished working is 6:30 pm and 2 nights a
week my husband works until 10:30-11pm. Then we usually each have an activity
that takes up another full evening.
That’s just
us. Like everyone else I know- Our kids are in lots of activities. Not as many
team sports for our kids but their sports and dance programs at school demand
lots and lots of extra-curricular, weekend’s commitments and many hours of volunteer
work. Like everyone else-our kid’s schedules are demanding. Add in many hours of homework evening and weekends
and two homes to take care of and it all adds up.
Normally we
can handle it all and have lived with
it. Medical stuff is what throws us (and any family) for a loop. We have had our
to share deal with and it is when this happens that we seem to overflow.
Bear had major
dental surgery and 9 day recovery. Was fine 2 weeks and now huge infection. He
is in that lucky 1% who has to pretty much such start the process over it
seems. This has been a hellish week for him. Last night he had an almost full
on panic attack in front of my eyes as he can’t take it anymore, has been one
thing after another for him. Braces, 4 impacted wisdom teeth out, infection,
many many jaw issues (TMJ) , front tooth broken, palette issues. The kid is afraid
to swallow now.
Guess what he
has wanted to be since he was 5 yrs. old? Orthodontist, dentist or dental surgeon.
He will have some damn empathy for his clients that are for sure!
And with
Chase transitioned to college a whole new world and his learning issues needs
adjustment with ADHD. He was doing so well in high school but the lack of
structure in English public college is throwing him for a loop,. A brand new
world.
And Beauty.
Poor Beauty. Something changed for her since she hot her bad news at hospital about
her curve. Since she started grade 8 . She is brace resistant. Doesn’t want to
wear day brace, depressed over it, cries over it, screams over it. So hard to watch.
Try to be a 13 yrs old girl with a heavy period every 18 days and not be able
to change your pad at school unless you spend 30 mins in bathroom and see what
a good mood you are in at end of day. I don’t think i Have to explain that this
is friggin hard. And friggin hard to watch as a parent. We feel helpless and
stuck. Thank god for Soulpkeeper who is helping me through this and giving me
some great ideas to get Beauty through. It’s very very psychologically hard to
know you wear this for 20 hrs a day for three years and may still need surgery.
Hard to digest. We pray a lot. And love her lots.
So we need mental
breaks on the weekend. Time to connect to ourselves, our couple, our children
and our creativity.
The last few Fridays
we have taken off and left the kids 24 hrs and they drive up to cottage on the
Saturday. We love it. So do they Yes the phone beeps all day with texts from
them as in constant contact..yes our son goes to parties and calls to wake up up
at 2am to say he is home, yes my mom stays over there so they are not alone and
is a big favor to us and asking a lot, but it extends the mental breaks and
connecting and we know it’s what we need most.
I turn off my
email for these times as much as I want to check. I now turn off my LinkedIn
too as find it another highly addictive element in my life. I turn off my texts.
We use Hubby’s phone as the family phone for kids and my mom to reach us. And we
focus on ourselves.
And that is
hard too for as the emails await, and the texts are a calling, and the LinkedIn
connections are calling out to see how many new friends I have. But I chose
breaks. From it all. And in between we go to weddings on weekends, and host sleepovers
for 8 friends after wedding, and do chores, and fix leaking roofs and broken
fridges.
But we get
good at the In between moments too. Really really good. And it fuels us for the
next week and saves our souls. We get lots of sleep and give lots of hugs, and
eat lots of yummy good food. And forget about it all as much as we can.
And then we
go back the next week and do it all over again.
Some have
suggested we do more work on weekends and les in the week and end up at 5pm at
home and transfer some to weekends and spread it out a bit more. And although a
great idea..It won’t happen.
We are wired
for this. And this feels good.
As I sit here
right now on my computer dying to open my new LinkedIn and see what awaits I
choose instead to write this and chat to my husband writing his speech he will
give at the wedding tomorrow. I chose to let my imagination work and use the
gaps in between to take me where they may.
I love
weekends and time off. And I love them because of the work we do to get here.
The energy we have to expend to feel we deserve it. It’s like a hot shower and
a glass of water after a workout.
The weeks are my productive results adrenaline
pace. Weekends are my happy place. In
combination is just all fits together somehow.
