Though
some may call it a tragedy-I am going to call what we experienced a trial.
Living through precarious circumstances has tried us again and again; in other
words it has given us a chance to prove ourselves to ourselves. We were able to
push through, in addition to other upheavals, because we finally accepted that
if there is one thing you can expect form life, it is the unexpected. Once we
stopped looking for someone to blame, including each other, we could brace each
other and hold tight.
My favorite
passage from “Wife for Life”
There are always particular moments in life that touch
us. Mine often occur on vacation simply because it is there that I take the
time to notice the simple lovely things. This vacation was no exception.
There was a large wedding at our resort while here and although
the wedding hardly touched us (really stern, harsh looking bride and groom!)
their extended family did. Especially the gorgeous guy in the wheelchair. I
could not take my eyes off of him.
I loved his style. Turquoise shirt, beige pants, cool
shoes, windblown messy dark hair and expensive shades. And a really really nice
sexy sultry smile. And his wheelchair
was pretty cool too and made for the beach with big wheels for the sand. But
all of this is not what impressed me of course-one of many gorgeous men on the
beach. It was what he radiated as a human being and the love that surrounded
him.
He had what I imagine what his brother was looking after
his every need but the brother looked so much like he wanted to help him. Like
his partner. His foundation in so many ways. It was almost as if they shared
the burden of what happened to the guy in the chair. It was this brotherly love
that struck me most. It is damn hard to push a wheelchair in the sand so the brother
needed help and the guy himself helped him but using his arms as much as possible
to wheel it. Together.
Then it was time for wedding pictures of the whole family
and you could tell this guy did not want to be defined by his chair. You could just
tell that he had once walked and that this was an accident that left him completely
paralyzed from the waist down. His brother and his cousin immediately just
lifted him out of his chair and a girl came and held his legs that dragged
behind him while he was being supported standing up by both guys. They supported
him for the 15 mins of pics as if they did this every day. And lifted him in
the air to look taller in the pics. And the guy smiled and smiled. I could feel
so much love around him and inside of him. He was adored. And he adored
himself.
I kind of secretly fell in love. Shhh. (anyways my
husband was so impressed by this guy and his family too)
And then the couple on the beach. She crawled in his lap
on a small single chair and stayed there in his arms and had a nap. It was so
sweet.
So they next day I did that too (with my husband). It was
such a great nap. I love being much smaller and shorter than my husband in this
way. He was able to encompass me in this way. I loved this.
And the book I read “Wife for Life” (who I wrote a fellow
blogger I don’t even know about as I am certain it will touch her profoundly)
so many parts I find a bit crazy and old fashioned but some beautiful nuggets
of truth and wisdom in there too. Things that will change me and my marriage. A
lens I have never looked through before. The reason I probably curled up in my
own knight in shining armor’s lap on the beach that day.
Vacation allows me to feel what is freely in my heart. It
gives me the pause to stop and wonder at the beautiful moments that make up a
life. Some people probably have these moments daily-I have them when I pause.
My real life pauses at family dinners, weekends and vacations. Sprint.
Recovery. Sprint. Recovery.
Bracing each other and holding on tight. It’s what we
have done for more than 20 yrs now and it works. Moving towards eachother…instead
of turning away. Crawling into his welcoming lap is just the next stage to
discover.
The next stage to notice.
