This Wonderful and Crazy Stage

I am sure that you notice on my blog that I often refer to this stage of my life as different and unique from other stages I have passed through as a parent. Often I actually wake up in the night and think”I have a 15 yr old??? How did that happen? I am just a baby myself!!!!”

And being a Mom to a 15, 13 and 11 yrs. old is a very unique stage of life. The boys are both teens and my girl being the last of three has approached teen hood earlier than the boys. She is more advanced than they were at her age. I consider that so far I have one real teen, one young teen and one tween. In a few years, I will be fully at the teen stage and for now I am part way there I am guessing. I am certian there is a lot ahead for me to still discover.

And it really is a distinct stage. Newborns were a distinct stage for me and so were toddlers when they learnt to walk and crawl. Then as they started grade 1 and were true school age. But between those phases….it was not as particular and memorable for me as it is now. When they turn 11-13 (it hits at different time for each kid) everything changes as far as I am concerned.

I have to say all in all I adore being a Mom to tweens and teens. To me so far it is probably the stage I get the most joy out of besides maybe little tiny babies. I always knew I would be good at this stage because I am better emotionally than I am physically. I did not love running after kids running into the road or toilet training or reading fairy-tales over and over. However I love analysing my kids, being in sync with them, helping them get it right and handing down values. And I love the feeling of emotional connection we have now. I am good at solving problems and they are good at bringing them my way! Having teens is like having complex, intricate problems to help solve day after day and this is right up my alley although thoroughly exhausting.

I love watching my 15 yrs. old grow and change and develop. It is such a privilege. And handing him more and more responsibility each day. I love watching him succeed and fail (I never thought I would get through this point but I am inching my way here!) He and I have a wonderful and loving bond. A unique and cherished relationship. He confides in me, relies on me and respects me. I adore this child and always have.

He also makes me crazy. He drives me nuts. Makes me worry all day and night and completely lose control (not in a good way) often.

My 13 yr old is also wonderfully connected and open for a boy his age. He is affectionate, caring, open, confides in us a whole bunch of things. He is bright, curious and driven. He and I have gotten super super close in the last couple of years especially as we worked out conflict between us and how to deal with it. We have very different personalities but connect in such close and cherished ways. He has always been the one I picture taking care of us when we are old (I won’t let him). He will be the one that keeps the closeness and traditions and the family bonded.

He also drives me bonkers and his head is as hard as a rock. Living with him is often an infuriating experience as he is always right in his mind.

My 11 yrs. old is the most complex of the three. She can be the sweetest, most caring most wonderful person and then she can quickly turn on you and push you away. She can be very distant. We have always been working on this and it comes back just as we seem to solve the puzzle. It may also be a girl thing as she is Daddy’s little girl which leaves me out of the loop and love often. She idolizes her Dad and if she even hears anyone saying he will get old one day she covers her ears and screams “No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I always thought I would be closer to a girl then boys but with her she naturally veers towards her Dad. We love each other a ton and share so much happiness together but I haven’t got that “total click” with her (yet) that came so naturally with the boys and I am very motivated to get it fully soon. I have not fully figured her out in the way I have my boys and I certainly intend too. She is a beautiful, sweet complex girl and I look forward to the challenge of accessing her unique and wonderful personality fully. Don’t get me wrong ..we are super close…..she tells me everything and we have a great relationship..I just know that there is way more ahead for us. Also my expectations are high-I speak to my own Mother everyday or more and that is not often enough for me!!!!!

With my daughter it is also that in some ways she was brought up differently. Less structure and discipline with her as the last of three with two tired parents by the time she came around. I am certain this has had an effect…a post for another time. But I am only really realizing this now and coming on strong with the structure and the discipline that I realize has really benefitted the boys. Even the boys comment all the time “Mom! Put her on a time out! Do something!” It proves to me 100% that discipline and structure =security and ease.

It makes me sad to think that I did not give my daughter the pleasure of enough times outs,enough discipline, enough structure that she likely craved and needed. Kids who don’t get this often interpret it as a lack of love L((((  (she got a lot don’t get me wrong but not at the level of her two older brothers with 99% consistency and effort)…and that is not fair.

So on teens and tweens I find them unbelievable creatures and I love having them around. Don’t let anyone tell you to dread these years…they are amazing. And equally scary and worrisome and complex and crazy. Just like real life-a series of ups and down and twists and turns.

And the biggest advice I can give you???? Set the stage early for this difficult stage of development. Get your act together and your energy together well ahead when they are little and pay attention, teach them well, spend time on them, and provide them the structure and discipline that all kids crave. Close and connected is only one part of the game-these kids look up to you and need your wisdom, your warnings and to lead them though life. They are counting on you and serve them well.

Trust me I know. Now that I have kids this age I can see where I succeeded and see where I went wrong and I can see the impact and effects on them. And it is never ever too late to change dynamics with a child or relationships but much harder when you and your kid are in a set pattern. It is certainly achievable at later ages but will demand a lot more of you and your child.

And never ever think that providing structure and strictness and discipline to a child is harming them. It is the exact opposite-not providing it they will perceive as a lack of attention and love. I have seen it time and time and time again. Over and over and over in other families and in my own. What you do in the early years is directly linked to the tween and teen years. So plan it out and think longer term and you will all win.

Seriously..I promise.

 

 

Unexpected Awesome

I totally did not expect Jay Peak to be this awesome..what a welcome surprise. This is the second mountain in the USA that has been so much fun, we went to Stowe last Spring Break and adored that too.

So this is our second and final night and we have 3 days ski and waterpark passes and 2 nights at the hotel. It is an amazing package. The hotel room is exactly what I want. Beautiful view, 2 TVs, a separate living room and bedroom and full kitchen. Huge bathroom. Never ever expected it to be this nice since I was so busy at work last few weeks did not even have time to ask what was in the room.

And the waterpark in unbelievable! All indoor with huge lazy river and outdoor Jacuzzi (unexpected since I was told no Jacuzzi!) amazing and super scary slides etc…etc…

And the mountain is gorgeous. Today was beautiful like a true winter wonderland with all the trees covered in powdery snow and ice. It was breathtaking going up in the chairlifts. We love winter. I  loved the long and leisurely slopes that take ages to go down-the perfect blue intermediate levels for me. I was so exhausted by the end of the day and so was my Protector….we are getting old!!! Our kids are so much better than us at skiing now it is crazy!

Last night at dinner I was in one of my silly moods (happens about 2 days a month) and made the boys laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. We walked back to the room arm in arms. Beauty is harder to crack and make laughJ we all hopped into our king bed and stayed up late with popcorn watching Storage Wars. I am so happy we came here.

Today other another great day despite a lot of squabbles between the kids. Whenever we travel for some reason they just seem to irritate each other more …maybe because in closer quarters? It is irritating to me and makes me think they are spoiled not to enjoy every single minute. But if I can successfully ignore it (like I did today) and not let it get to me too much (like I did today) it always gets better after a couple of annoying hours. Noone ever promised a bed of roses with two teens and an attitudy tween did they?

And as I write this Chases has met up with a friend from school at the waterpark and is there soaking and surfing with him now. I am glad it worked out and he had a few friends coming here and their plans did not work out to meet up so far and he was bummed. I reinforced to him that this often happens with friends (I personally got “somewhat dumped or stood up a bit or had disagreements of some form” twice in the last week by friends who said they would do something they did not or said something that irked me a bit). I told him that is why family is so important..as they will always make you and your concerns their priority as you would theirs (I would hope).

Anyways I love this little family getaway. I love this hotel and am so happy that we came here. It goes well beyond my expectations and this is a good thing. I think we finally have our travel formulas down pat as to what we want exactly and what works for us:

Every March break skiing at the cottage and 2 nights in USA hotel skiing

Every second year beach family vacation

Every alternate year more cultural or European trip with one child only

(Alone trip if there is money!!)

Travel is very very important to us-especially in these years where we know our family trips have an expiry date due to jobs and girlfriends and boyfriends not far off into the future. We always said in these years that travel would be very high on our list of priorities and it is. We save and budget for it and is of massive importance for us. We would give up buying any nicer car, any electronic, and have less savings to be able to take these getaways.

We had thought one day we would like to do a big trip somewhere far off and away all 5 of us but realize that we like mini trips like this or beach trips with the whole gang. We will save the more expensive trips for the amazing 1-1 time with each of the kids. We find otherwise it gets too hectic and chaotic for us and then we get irritated too easily and end up enjoying the time less. I am glad we realized this about ourselves and found the formula that works for us. We always thought it would be one 1-1 trip each and a couple of bigger family trips , but have decided that we will likely do two 1-1 trips with each kids, one as they finish primary school and one as they finish highschool (ssh..they don’t know yet)

Yay for the beautiful and fun Jay Peak…I will post our pics next week.

Amazing place and getaway.

 

In Search of Normalcy

(Note of caution you may not like this blog)

Since I have a week off and a few moments to myself here and there-I have been using some time to try and find a few new blogs to follow. Surfing the web, seeing what is out there, reading some entries. Looking at which of the “mommy blogs” out there can provide me a fresh perspective or a little laugh to start off my days well.

And I have to tell you-most of them horrify me, bore the crap out of me, or make me want to take these woman and strangle them in some cases. Nice eh? Just how you want to feel in your relaxation time right?

I think this morning alone I read 7 different blog entries about how the mom stayed up all night to knit her kid's mittens, or came up with 101 special places to hide the elf on the shelf, or baked from scratch bread because she wanted to impress her mother in law who was coming over for tea  and went on too add that anyone who does not make homade bread for their kids are depriving them.

And then there are the blogs where you can read about 12 posts in a row about how perfect the kids are, and how sweet they all act, and how they never ever fight, and how they just love each other so much and love doing homework and ticking off their chore charts.

Or all the mommy blogs with the smiling teens looking into the cameras dressed up as dinosaurs? I mean who is 16yrs and willingly wears a dinosaur costume to school because it is”dress up day”on the neighborhood  block, without having a gun to his head? And if he did do that…would he actually want it posted on his mommy’s blog???? Even me at 41 yrs think the kid looks like an uncool dork..imagine what his friends say?

So ya I am feeling a little bit pessimistic this morning as I try to seek out some “good blog literature” to keep my mind enlightened. Thank goodness I have 5-6 good ones I read already that I like.

And it takes me back to my first impressions of blogging in general “why oh why?”. Or what I still feel about Twitter entries like”I am am taking a shower now!” Good for you! Get a life! But as I got into blogging and started my own….I started really realizing the benefits and the fun and the joy that comes from having one and that comes from reading other blogs (the ones without teen dinosaurs in them clearly) .

But I am fully aware and fully supportive that there will be a lot of people out there wondering why they should bother reading my blog or anyone else’s blog for that matter and having that impression that us bloggers are self centered braggers who need a public lift.

And maybe we all are?

But I guess for me-if you are going to have a blog then at least make it (somewhat) real? Pretty please? If your kids are that amazing and it is true..go ahead and post it. Shout it off the rooftops-go ahead! But maybe give us even a tiny little dose of reality every so often-maybe every couple of days so we can fend off depression and not make us feel so inadequate in the mothering department?

And if you truly love spending your time writing out 101 reasons of the most original places to hide your elf on the shelf by doing such things as having it switch the clothes in your kids closets as a joke when they are sleeping ??(Is that actually fun for you??)…then honestly you might want to consider considering the way you spend your time. Sorry I am  being honest here. Seriously. I read a great post today critiqing this 101 elf idea blog that virtually went virile on the internet...and it might of been the funnist things I have read all year. Now that is uplifting! Bring it on. Added her to my favorites.

And sometimes as I sift through some of these mommy blogs I get the sense that in private these moms are pulling their hair out or on major doses of valium that they take in their closest secretly at nightpost after they have just spend the last hour debating at 3am how to give their kids a good chuckle (that will last for about 5 seconds) in the morning. Do we really have to try so hard as mommys? And if we do brag about that?

So yes I love blogs (the good ones anyways) and I also secretly hate them in some ways too. I feel happy at times that I have one and a sense of pride and also a keen understanding that many people out there think my blog and many others out there are self centered, boring and somewhat bragging. I get it..I accept it..and I understand it. I get why half of my family won’t go anywhere near my blog or anyone else’s for that matter.

And despite it all I still love writing blogs and still love reading them. It does something for me at my very core and more than often makes with me  stop and ponder what I like what I don’t like, what sits well with me and what drives me a bit nutty. And it is interesting to stop and take notice of why certain blogs bother me and other ones delight me. It’s interesting to stop and analyze it all and take notice of the reactions inside of us isn’t it?

Today I asked myself as I sifted through the mommy blogs-am me jealous of this woman who has time to bake from scratch, and make lists of elf spots and write down every minute of their child’s development? And the answer is no I am not. I am just in awe that anyone who is recording their lives would want to leave out on a daily basis any type of reality. It seems like an unfair document no?  And I am not convinced that her life is all rose colored and peachy all day long with seven kids under her roof. And what comes to mind is often:

Life is not (only) a bowl of cherries girl. Let a little mold on the cheese in and see where it takes you. You might just like it!

PS-Tomorrow I will be back to a better me ok? And the hypocrite in me will brag a bit about my adorable kids, update you on my choice of showergel and post a few humiliatin pics of my teens? (for real)
If you are really lucky will post my recipe for homeade bread (never!)

 

 

 

Good Enough

 “Don’t let good be the enemy of great” (or something like that anyways)

That expression has been swirling around my head over the last few weeks and seems to make a lot of sense. I have been testing it out too in my own life; it has been something that before now I have not been very good at.

And I think that for me I can apply it more easily to my personal life than to my work life. At work I have always held the value that it is your job to deliver what you have promised; that is what you have been paid for. If you take something on it is your role to deliver. If you cannot it is your role to negotiate or communicate or delegate. You are responsible to make it happen; and what you produce should be high quality and shine. Always (or very close to always).

What has always bothered me at work is when employees are compensated or are seen as stars when they don’t deliver. Yes part of what they delivered may have been the extra mile, or incredible, or wonderful-but what about all the other parts that were never dealt with or delivered or communicated about?  Real stars can do both; go the extra mile and deliver consistently with quality. I am lucky enough to work with many of those types of stars; which is always motivating to see them in action.

It’s the non-delivering stars that grate on my nerves more often.

However when it comes to personal life I am trying to adopt that “good is better than nothing at and does not always have to be great” attitude. When I am able to take on this attitude successfully it makes my life and my stress level a whole lot easier.

Like exercise. If you say I will commit to 4 days a week and then you only do 2 then normally you think you have failed. But what if you tell yourself that 2 is better than nothing and still very good?

Or when my kids leave the house a mess but when I ask them to clean it up they are somewhat cooperative and willing to help but on their own won’t lift a finger? Before I would have considered that an utter failure, but now am trying to view it that some kids won’t even help out when they are reminded so I must be “lucky” (hate that word!!! Practiced for decades is a better explanation of my “fate”).

Or when financially you are spinning around and around and losing much more money than you had ever expected on a big project in real estate you took on and are renovating-and your first thought it just “stop this now!!!!!” but then you realize it might not be everything you expected or hoped for, but it will be a lot and enough and you will somehow find a way not just to manage but to make it wonderful and beautiful and work out. You will somehow find another way to compensate for all that perceived money lost. A better tax specialist for the future? Incorporating a business with a family trust? Trust me on this one …my brain won’t allow anything less than good. You fix mistakes..it’s my personal brand dammit!

And your looks, what about settling for good instead of great. Yes in younger years you used to find lots of joy in choosing a great bathing suit and prancing around all summer in it. Now you are elated when the cashier at the boutique says “You have the prettiest green eyes and the nicest smile” Good enough! Yahoo!

Or when your teenager is a complete disaster when he comes home from an expensive sports fieldtrip you have subsidized and are curious to hear more about and he tells you he is too tired to talk and you are getting on his nerves. The next morning you still know nothing about the trip and he barely looks at you. Is this great? Not!!!!! But the following afternoon he writes you a sweet little text and apologizes and then tells you that that night he will tell you everything about it and that he was very tired and exhausted because he had climbed two mountains, did half and iron man then a triathlon and his butt hurt and he can’t sit down. Is that good? Yes it is  good..so you take it..And accept his apology and listen intently to his funny stories.

Or at work just as you are about to leave for vacation for a relaxing week and you get two emails that stress the hell out of you. Usually that would just do it for you-the vacation would be off to a bad and stressful start. This time? Don’t stress and take the “whatever it happens” approach. Let it go and move on..go and enjoy this precious time with your family. Don’t let work issues take that away from you.

Or in your marriage on Fridays nights when you are most excited for the weekend to begin it is your husband’s pattern to be tired, exhausted, stressed and out of it (Friday night vodka!). It feels like a sucky way to start a weekend doesn’t it? But Saturdays and Sundays he is alive, funny, caring and a great partner usually. Do I wish he could include Friday night in the joy-of course! Will I take Saturdays and Sundays..yes I will and with pleasure.

So it is all a mindset I am noticing. And noticing is something I have been doing a lot of around here lately. Stopping and noticing what types of reactions I have to what types of certain things. Looking at it more objectively than emotionally and deciding if it is worth the fuss.

And not letting good escape because in some situations I can’t have great. Letting good…be good enough which is often better than the girl or the guy next store who is waiting for great to come along and does a big bunch of zero.

Along with being more “V” this year (which is working btw) I will aim to be more of a “good” girl. At home anyways.

 

 

Cupcakes are Always a 10

You might notice I refer to cupcakes a lot in my blogs? That is because I find them super delicious. Nothing as a dessert remotely compares. I am actually not even a dessert person...don’t really care much about it in general. But cupcakes get me. Not all types either just the plain vanilla with vanilla frosting. So delicious.

Yet herein lies the problem.

I am a fairly controlled eater. Breakfast, protein snack mid morning, healthy lunch in general, fruit or low fat pudding afternoon, smaller dinner. During the week anyways. Weekends I get off track quite a bit. I am also pretty good at my food “rules”. On weekdays anyways. These rules for me maintain my weight in general. Don’t help me lose..but help me maintain overall. And I could stand to lose…but deprivation at this time and point in my life just does not sit well with me (is there ever a moment to want to deprive yourself of deliciousness?)

So one of my rules that I am pretty good at following is that during the week (not weekwnds and vacations) I don’t really break the above eating pattern in any given day….unless….

A food is rated over an 8.5 for me and/or my wanting, craving and need for it is over an 8.5. On a scale of 1-10. And that does not happen too often because either most foods I rate below an 8.5 or my stomach is not craving it at that high level because I am not hungry enough. Or both. My gift to myself is that if I want it badly enough or am hungry enough, or it is yummy enough..I always get to have it guilt free.

Again this doesn’t happen too too often.

Except that I work at a company who is obsessed with cupcakes.

And cupcakes are always a 10.

Honestly in the last year here every corner I turn there is a cupcake and the super delicious ones too. Every brand we launch we get offered a cupcake. Every new renovation that is done there is a celebration of a cupcake. Every act of social responsibility comes with a cupcake. Birthdays in the office? Cupcakes. Desserts before Christmas? At the coffee machine cupcakes.

What happened to boring old strudel and coffeecake? I used to be able to pass that by without a bat of an eyelash.

Or a plain old pen with an inscription? Or some kind of stale white cake or something?

Ok now let’s be clear..If you are reading this and have anything to do with decision making at this particular company don’t get all excited now ok? Don’t go changing anything just because there happens to be a blog on it? I am a talent that likes to be nurtured with frosting is that clear enough? Although this pattern is not too great for the waistline is very very good for retention and motivation. If you take the cupcakes away I would personally be in danger of looking for a job elsewhere. I have come to expect them!!

So no I have no resistance when it comes to cupcakes and they will always be a 10 (only the yummy vanilla ones with perfect frosting that of course my company buys because they are always the best at buying the best).

It does not help matters yesterday when a colleague and I go to another cupcake celebration and I take a napkin and take two and offer her one and she says:

“No I can’t do it. Too tempting. I am full because I had a lot of carrots for lunch and carrots are high in sugar”

Carrots!! You are full of carrots? You would give up this delicious cupcake because you had one carrot too many in your stir fry? I honestly almost asked her if she felt like she needed to lie down in the nurse’s office. And then I ate both cupcakes myself obviously.

(yes she weighs about 6 lbs so clearly she is doing something right,,but still..get a life skinny minny girl!)

That did not compare however to the time when my colleague from Swiss and I stayed at once of the fancy smancy hotels that greet you with a plate of yummies as you check into your room. Mousse, mochas, cupcakes, angel cakes fruits etc.. On a perfect little tray.

I practically ran up to my room as I knew what was awaiting me and threw out the whole tray right in the garbage and kept the two cupcakes. When we met later for dinner my colleague laughed at me for that and said “I did the opposite-I threw out all of it except the fruits”

And you could not have saved the tiny little cupcake for me and brought it in your purse (oh ya you are a guy..ok stuffed it in your pocket?)

Is this guy perfect? Is that 6 lb girl perfect? What is wrong with these people??? Don’t they like food at all?

Anyways thank goodness that chips and cheesies and cheesecake and ice-cream don’t have this same effect on me or I would be one big girl. Thank goodness it is small harmless cupcakes that get me going in this manner. And hopefully by next year the cupcake craze the world is going through will turn around and change into something less of a 10 (I don’t know if that is a hope, a prayer or a fear I have)

My other obsession is cups of grapefruit and hey guess what..I am on a new medication and grapefruit is now a no no and can’t be eaten. How unfair is life? To deny me this 70 calories perfectly healthy daily treat?

Some people in this world love food and others would just as well pop a pill and get the meal over with. Clearly for me food is a joy. Especially a good cupcake washed down with a cold and delicious glass of milk.

Suddenly I am hungry. You?

A Piece of Me will Soon be in Australia

When you have a friend who is as close as I am to my Sister Savvy…where she goes I go.

And it’s not because we have even talked about this trip so much really, I barely knew the itinerary until a few days ago…..its’ more than that.

It’s that with this girl I follow her heart and her heart is going placesJ

Soon it will be in Australia and I am so happy for her. It has been a long journey to get there but she will land safe and sound with her family by her side. All 7 of them together.

She and I have been through our own journeys alongside each of our individual journeys…..and I love the places we have gone together. It summed it all up for me when I got her sweet text today as she boarded the plane saying “Goodbye! I love you!” It made me smile in the mist of a chaotic day.

Friendship, real friendship is such a beautiful, rich gift in life. If you are lucky you get to experience it and keep it. And just like marriage it is hard work and a commitment, but worth every ounce of energy. And just like a love affair, or a marriage, or a parenting relationship it is precious and fine and true.

And when you get it, and get it right, you wonder how you could possibly ever live without it in your life?

Like a beautiful breeze on your face in front of the ocean.The perfect shade of blue.

So my dear friend-I will truly and sincerely miss you because you are so far away and especially these last few months (and  really our entire lives since adulthood) we have been so deeply connected on so many different levels at different times. Being in different time zones is always a little strange even though we live long distance always.

I bid you joy and happiness. I will always be there for you and proud of you. I will always be the one sitting in our white spa robes envisioning all that I know you deserve.

And asking you for every wonderful piece of yourself. To have and to keep for meJ

 

The Best Chicken (not lettuce) She has Ever Had in Her Little Life

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl named Ella Catherine (aka Ella Bleu to me). She is part princess and part spider man; therefore the perfect combination.

This little spider princess had many stories to tell me about her Dad’s fear of frogs and toads, all her pretty pencil cases and how she thought the shish taouk sandwiches I brought contained the best chicken she had ever eaten in her life. Although she hated the lettuce and took that part out.

Together we reached the crafts from her wheelchair, put all the pens in the house  to put into her little pouch, had a little tea party on the floor and used our power  bracelets to stick together and to be remarkable.

This might have been one of the best afternoons I have had in a long time.

And I learnt a lot from this little lady about life and exactly how she sees it.

You see this little superhero has her own set of powers. One leg of hers was longer than the other and so they needed to fix it at the hospital. The put an almost  full  body cast on that is going to stay on for 4 more “days” (aka 4 more weeks) and she colors all over it. I wasn’t allowed to touch the left side as that is reserved for her friends at daycare.

Ella says the most frustrating part is not being able to reach the surprise bag I gave her and having crumbs fall on her when she tries to eat. Drawing is tough too as sometimes she has to color out of the lines because she cannot see the lines well. It is a kind of her Mama's fault for not positioning the tray well she declared.

She says that if ever your kid has a surgery make them feel good by making sure to give them a little gift in the hospital. She got a few things herself including a pink pencil case and a pink snap watch that is amazing.

She has a super cool wheelchair and a super cool hospital bed in her room. 2 beds!!! Wow!!! And the hospital one gets to go up and down…sometimes I wish I had a cast since that part sounds fun!

This 4.5 yr old fave sports are ballet and soccer and she will be back to these sports asap. She loves that her Mama has created a tea part ritual for every afternoon since her surgery and she loves her Daddy’s breakfasts-especially his yummy waffles with syrup.

Her cousin Gaby is super special to her and she loves her a lot. She also thinks her sister Olivia is really cute-but says she doesn’t really know what is cute about her exactly. Her baby brother is full of squawks and squeals and it is very important that we stop adult converstaions to listen to him.

These are all the things she told me.

Now it is time for me to tell her a few things of my own:

You are one of the bravest most courageous little girls I know

I think your wheelchair and your hospital bed are super cool and you should be proud of them

I am so happy for you that you won’t have a limp when you are older and you will be able to dance and play soccer and swim all you want to

I know it is hard that you can’t reach things but I find you are managing very well and it is so nice to see that even if you feel frustrated you are still happy and smiling

I hope you use your power bracelets often and that they bring you happiness

I love that you and your Mama get to have tea parties every day. What a special time to be able to spend all this time together.

Always be proud of who you are miss Ella Bleu cast or no cast, wheelchair or no wheelchair. You are beautiful inside and out

Lettuce is good you should try it in your chicken sandwich

I am excited to go shopping for another surprise bag for you

What does Resilience mean Tarina?

Resilience, my darling, is the biggest gift you get to have when things happen to you in life that can be a little hard. Resilience is a you get to keep with you forever as you go through the journey of life. You will use it when you are happy, use it when you are sad, and use it to guide you like a compass. Just ask your Mama-she has that secret gift too.

No one can ever take resilience away from you. It is yours to keep forever.

And you Ella Bleu are my definition of a superhero. I am so proud of you.

Love

Auntie Tarina