Monkey Bar Gym

Monkey bar 

As of Sept hubby and I work out together twice a week. At a super hard cross fit gym with people way way way more in shape than us .

After a few weeks we almost gave up but our eldest son did not let us give up (method of screaming in our faces wasn't optimal but it did work)

Since then we have been very good at going twice a week. The week before Xmas I didn't go and the week after Xmas didn't go as was sick ( and hubby felt he needed to support me I guess and walk me to the toilet to throw up ?? )

But we were back on today! And man was it hard. We also walk there in any type of weather (17 mins there and 17 mins back) for added fresh air and exercise.

It's something that so so so does not fit into our lives and schedules but which we know is needed and if we don't get it done in the morning first thing there is no hope at all.

Over Xmas vacation we were tempted to give it up fully again as just seem to have no time for this but instead just tweaked it a bit:

Mondays: hubby works until often 10:30pm at night! So giving up a 30 min break in morning (after driving kids etc.) so replacing reading iPad for 30 minutes with a big workout seemed lethal as a replacement. Same for me. Monday is only day of week I do any home or personal stuff (so work part day and do home stuff part) and if you know me well -work is way easier for me. 

So we tweaked as of next week an after workout will earn 30 mins of relaxation before starting day. This makes a huge psychological difference.

And wed workout.. We decided Chase will be driving the other two kids to school or bus in the morning and we will get 20 mins of relaxation in before our workout .( have not told him yet but seriously what's the point of having another driver in the house using your car if he can't help out ! )

So just go say I am living so far my commitment go get more moments.

Sometimes they are the littlest of moments but with a huge impact.

For me a bit of relaxation in the morning after the morning rush is like a good coffee to most people. It makes me day. And is required.

 Now that I have the type of career to be able to so this. I should.

We should.

And we will.

We also know that as of next week our lives become a whole lot busier and harder as we bought a treadmill and will each be using it twice a week. So every moment is precious as we know that we are adding on even more to our full load. But it's not even just weight anymore that is motivator. It is health and keeping what we have. We are realizing how hard walking up  big flights of stairs is etc. and we need to keep healthy for all the active trips we want to take and things we want to explore in our lifetime .

We need to exercise many times a week. It is no longer an option but a necessity 

I am glad we are on this together and thankful for my schedule that now permits me to literally kick butt!

I Hate when that Happens!

I wrote a whole blog over two days and right before I published erased it!! Was a great recap of this weekend but no time or energy so just a few key points I don’t want to forget:

I love winter and feel sorry for people who don’t’ have fave winter activities to get them through. Love love winter on weekends. Hate winter weekdays

-Bear and Chase started their ski jobs this weekend so now are busy 7 days a week and have to get up super early 7 days a week! Beauty her ski certification training to be an instructor next season. Proud of these kids! Their lives are one big ski mountain now

-Initiation for Bear as a new instructor was last night. At mountain for many hours doing gross and disgusting things and then his first real party with all 60 instructors. He seemed pretty into it and excited about this whole new world for him. Whole new world for us to to have all these kids sitting around the cottage counter talking to us about teen stuff and parties etc. Not sure ready for this again! Do I have a choice? At least they trust us...and talk to us! Even their totally wild friend talked to us a lot.

-Chase left for Mont St Anne for 6 days with a bunch of Cegep students. Boys and girls mixed in condos. I dared asked the question if teachers go to supervise (as organized by the school) they looked at me like I was insane! I guess I am forgetting they are college students now!

-Loved Jacuzzi in the rain and snow. Skating hand in hand with hubby in the snow. Love snow.

-I had lots of moments this weekend. Ignored lots of people. Made a homemade lunch of lime cilantro enchiladas (yes me!) Minded my business a lot, empowered my kids a lot. Helped they were hardly ever home I guess!

Report on big teen party here last Wednesday night soon

Also back to more interesting blogs soon too not reporting like. This whole teen stage just needs to be captured for me so I can read back one day or help all my friends who are soon to be there too. Just so many crazy moments to remember! Or forget

Today was super nice as once of first days in a long while juts did nothing. It poured rain so slept, napped, read, TV shows, ate out on way home. Chilled. Going to chill again now in front of Downtown Abbey. I love weekends so much. Scares me for the workweek juts how much I love weekends. Back to Monkey bar torture chamber gym tomorrow!

Wish us luck?

First teen party tomorrow night for chase's 18th bday
40 teens coming
Mom ( me ) is giving him the gift of my abscense and sleeping  at my own mommys house
Dad ( hubby) is supervising party. 9pm -2am  with wife texting him hourly ). Many sleeping over

Do you think a bad sign he fell asleep two nights in a row during fave show 9pm?

I am a mess
Hubby could not care less
Son is thrilled
So are his friends. So happy in fact they all decided to stay for dinner tonight

Beauty and bear will be sleeping elsewhere. Thet are back at school
Cegep life is one big party . Still two more weeks off
Working at home can kinda suck!

Can someone pls pls tell my husband to stop snoring before i kill him???

Adios

Hope me and my home and my son will be intact

Moments

Moments....

What are they? How do I make More of them? How do I savor the ones in between all the other ones? How do I balance out the important, responsible, necessary long term moments that secures the future with the spontaneous delicious indulgent ones that focus on the present?

2016 is sure to give me those answers..

Stopping to smell the boeuf bourginone in the crockpot. On my way there mixing in green food coloring into the icing for the cupcakes just because it looks prettier

Taking the car back to the forest to walk one more round in the snowflakes and outside fire in between chauffeuring the kids to and from the mountain

One of us cooking in the earlier morning with classical relaxing music playing while the other reads by the fire. Enjoying solitude-yet togetherness. Roles being interchangeable

Focusing on ME and US more in our daily lives and not just one the very occasional alone vacations. Since the teens are clearly getting their own lives –starting to look at getting our own lives too on a more regular basis. Social Dancing? Yoga retreats? Days in the snow planned just for us?

Walking by the kids who are (of course) on their phones and video games and instead of saying” why don’t you do something else!” giving them a soft kiss on the cheek and a smile

Interacting less with the kids and disturbing them less with nagging and chatter and letting  them enjoy their own forms of leisure while enjoying mine. Caring less and letting them live their lives while still expecting respectful and healthy interactions. Expecting less and getting more.

Really crystalizing our times we do have together and being home for almost all family dinners and making the times we do have really count (family games, family movies, family dinners, car rides, visits with extended family and friends) Worrying less about what happens in between

Trusting more and more. Warning less. Less teaching moments and more learning from them moments

Focusing way way less on the future and way way more on the here and now and the beauty and loveliness of the next 5 -10 yrs while we still have the privilege of having the kids home . Having the confidence that they have been taught and can now be gently coached. Believing in the strong foundation that has been built.

Cleaning up more myself. Twice a day tidy to calm my restless spirit and energy.

Cooking on Sunday lunches and Wednesday dinners and maybe even a big healthy salad on Mondays. Putting it in the calendar so it gets done. Stopping for delicious last minute ingredients and playing music while I cook (please please God just let me be able to do this even once in 2016!!!)

Move/Choose/Manage/Know/ DAILY whether on vacation or in normal life. Make it something my body and my mind always NEEDS. Have my angel spirits and live spirits guide my way on each category

Take a yoga retreat with my Hubby (on a beach of course!)

Make moments for time in Swiss and seeing a very very important friend who my heart and soul ache to see and spend time with in person (and her lovely daughter too)

Write all the things down I want to do in 2016 with friends, family, for myself and put reminders in my calendar and agenda and make absolutely sure they happen

Start nurturing young children more. Form stronger relationships with a few special little ones already in my life.

Foster a dog for 2-6 weeks and get this out of my system (or into it forever?)

Make more time for the people I love more systematically. See BFF’s more –couple friend’s more-take kids out to lunch more. Use my time that is more flexible than ever before in ways that please me.

Focus less on others (including Hubby and children) and more on ME. Focus less on the fancy stuff and more on the simple stuff. Get pleasure from a simple salad or a good workout, a nice walk, a good book, a good show, cleaning down the counter top with Lysol. Wearing a new lip-gloss

Make time for getting ready, getting pretty, cleaning up the house, chatting, answering a quick text, having a quick conversation

Follow my heart more and my brain less. Do what I like to do and don’t over think it so much. If I like checking email in a time when not with family directly then check it (evenings). Break my own rules more often

Always always have a: good TV series/a good book/ listen to news

Treasure tucks in times with the kids

Give lots of hugs and kisses –and get them too

Let myself do mindless things

Popotte more (clean, cook, wander)

Do something wonderful and kind for myself

Be daring and be younger . Don’t lose myself

Get away as often as we can afford to and is feasible

Leave more time for things: conversations, getting pretty, chatting, leisure, and spontaneity.

Listen so so so much more to my heart

Make time to be grateful. I was so grateful yesterday when I had food poisoning or severe gastro (nice way to end a holiday eh?) and my hubby just took over completely. He is a wonderful kind and caring man. He had ZERO time for this with a to do list longer than mine going back to work after 2 weeks off but took care of me , I love him. Best choice of my life to marry him. And when he is in charge of kids (aka I did not speak all day as was too weak) things are so super calm.  I need to learn from him. He is my 2016J

Anyways I don’t know if this blog makes sense of not as I am day 2 of being super sick but I wanted to end it and finish it off.

It’s hard to think of moments when real life comes back and vacation is over but it is something I have to do more and more and more. Today it feels nearly impossible having missed a whole day of organizing and cleaning yesterday and today my day is ruined by being sick and I wonder how I will possibly ever get anything done.

But life is really just a series of moments isn’t it? We can either blaze through them blindly or capture them lovingly. We can ignore them or seize them.

I need more moments. Of this I am sure.

I am daring myself to do it (for you poppet6!)

With love and happy 2016!

Tarina Lauren Kate

My Word for 2016

My word is:

Moments

What are moments? Moments I want more of, moments I want less of and all the best moments in between.

A situation happened the other day and my word became very clear to me for 2016. Something (minor) happened with someone close in my life where they were not able to complete  tasks they had committed to doing and asked me to take on these tasks last minute on Christmas Eve right before we were rushing to go to a big family party.

No big deal right? Of course not. It really wasn’t. Although left me an hour late for the party , totally out of breath, stressed and with many more things added to my already full to do list that ended up getting us to bed at 3am. No big deal. But inside rage swirled. And why? Because I like people have a plan B. Plan b’s are very important to me.

I tell this story not because it was a big deal or even bothered me all that much in reality but because it was an epiphany about me for my own life and inspired my word of 2016.

I always have a plan B. Always. Usually if I am honest a place C and even often a plan D. This situation above would never ever have happened to me. If I say I do something-I will do it. Don’t like to inconvenience anybody. I find a solution. Efficiently and quickly no matter what. I had 22 people over one Christmas and had severe gastro. Nobody knew. And if they did? They didn’t care.

I have been doing this forever and ever and ever. And I am exhausted. I get the plan b. and most  people  close to me in my life get  to have the moments- I realized that night. This is nothing asked me to do, but it happened all the same. I have always chosen to be the plan b keeper. My life is being keeper of plan B.

I want others to have more plans B’s and I want more moments. In theory we should all be somewhere in the middle which would be ideal. But is life ever ideal? To be honest I am not very good at all at just sitting back and enjoying the moments and a lot of close people are  not good at having long term thinking and back up plans. Does it make one of us better or worse at life? Absolutely not. We are all equally happy in different ways. 

Up until this point of my life as a parent I have found my style of being keeper of the plan B’s very effective. It has made my life easier. My kid’s life’s better, my husband’s life richer. It has kept us all generally happy, safe, and efficient, on track, united and very successful as individuals and a family. It has made our kids resilient, self confident, stable, out of trouble, and generally very happy and well adjusted.

Plan B keeper is not working anymore. For them , for us..but especially for me. I feel burnt. And my strong reaction to the above situation made me realize it is time to move to my own plan b…..and get more moments.

Let other people around me fix more stuff, worry about stuff more, take more on. Let the short term gain outweigh the long term pain more often and stop trying to stop it from happening. Enjoy the kids more now and let them take the long terms consequences of their action or in actions. Do a whole lot less focusing on others and a whole lot more of focusing on myself and my plan a, b, c or d and let them take care of their own plans.

None of this is said in mean way but honestly in a kind gentle and giving tome. It’s a good thing and not a bad thing. It’s not a strike at all but more a new way of being. I have found that in the raising of children I always needed to be that plan b keeper to do this the way I wanted to –and in general it has produced some great results (and some other questionable ones too)

That being said I know with certainty that now my parenting style has to (and will) change. It’s time to let up, ignore much stuff, transfer over many terms from high importance to neutral or low importance. It’s time to claim more of the beautiful moments for myself and for my family. To bask in bliss. To bask in ignorance much of the time (hence the expression ignorance is bliss) of course it is! So damn relaxing.

I feel in many ways my job is done. I still have a whole other job ahead of me of course but my first order of business is complete. It’s time to enjoy all the moments (in between). Imagine having to actually force yourself to do this? God I am a freak show.

I remember a parenting course teacher we had when my husband and I tool a great course and he has said that his style of parenting with his four kids was generally quite authoritarian and his kids and family enjoyed a really nice childhood together. He was a man of faith and the kids were encouraged to go to church on Sundays, pray in the mornings, abstain from swearing, and keep order in their home. He said this generally worked very well and he had a smooth running and happy home for many years. When the youngest child turned 13yrs old (so 4 teens in the house) all hell broke loose. His encouraging started turning into forcing and fighting and his kids often wanted to go to church but often also felt they had more important things to do some of the time. They wanted to play videogames instead of pray and much of the music they loved had words he did not agree with. Most just acted out in the normal teen ways with lots of resistance and attitude and eye rolling but the eldest 18 yrs. old took it to a whole new level. He moved out. He got into drugs; he did not have connections with the family he once loved. He turned on the God he had once treasured. He was actually on the streets and homeless for 3 months as his parents refused to let him win this power struggle that he felt their son had created. They refused to back down. So did he.

That parenting teacher told me that then and there after 3 months of praying and seeking guidance and attaching himself to a method of parenting that clearly was not working anymore for a son whom he used to have a solid and wonderful relationship with, he decided to completely change is parenting style. He became democratic and his household a democracy and from that moment on the literally lived happily ever after. The son came home-they all made decisions together. All decisions. There was encouraging but no forcing. Some went to church and some did not. Some swore (in moderation) and others chose not to. Two saved themselves for marriage and two had wild one night frequent one night’s stands. He said order was in all family rooms but chaos in some bedrooms and order in the other bedrooms. His kids became who they were meant to be with his strong guidance and values as a solid foundation. He said now as the kids all adults with their own families he is extremely proud of each and every one of them and the choices they have made (and PS now they all go to church and have tidy homes)

I will always remember this teacher. He adapted. He changed and he said he never ever for a moment regretted his parenting style of 0-13 yrs. old. It planted the strong foundations for his kids and for the family values. But beyond 13 yrs. old if he was to get more moments like he always had-he needed to do a 360 and do it a different way. And he did. He said if he had not adapted and lessen his grip and disengage from the power struggle that he would have lost his eldest son and lost the respect of his three other kids  somewhere along the way.

I am not in a crisis. Far from it. But being the plan b planner that I am I can proactively likely fend a crisis off. I don’t want to be in one to need to decide to take action. It’s time to change. I don’t feel like it, I don’t want to,. But I know I need to.For myself and for the changing times. It’s time to play a different role and a different game.

Tomorrow I will share more how I will do this .( did you really think that even with less of a plan B and more moments I would not have a plan at all)?

I am not going to change who I am after all but the way I do things. I am going to connect and most importantly adapt. I am going to finally claim a whole lot more moments that are rightfully mine. Mine.

It’s time to start living a life from a very different place and perspective and try it on for fit. Hell who knows? Maybe I will actually like it!

Happy New year to all! It’s going to be a good one.

PS-my word from 2015 was Flow. How did I do? Answer: Moderately

Professionally: I flowed like the longest river

Personally: I flowed a little. Sometimes a lot. Was generally much more calm and peaceful. Didn’t flow in some areas as much as others. Could have flowed more.

Our Boy Becomes a Man

This pic totally captures the essence of him

Our guy. What a Huge Year 2015 was for him

a super happy day...

.....not the super  happiest day 

my bebe-women stay away!!!!

with  lis little sister

with his Nana Didi

rooftop bar terrace

Chase turned 18 yrs old today! Is that even possible ???

I remember for years when he was young we talked about the day he would open his time capsule on dec 31 2015 and today the day was upon us. Time has a way of moving way to fast.


Beauty and bear had originally wanted to take chase out to a pizza dinner on dec 30 but chase ended up being hired as waiter this week at a hotel so that won't happen as this new work is trumping family plans now ( which is all normal but all different too)


On dec 29 hubby and I treated chase to a day at a nordic spa with an amazing lunch and massages and hot and cold baths for all of us. You have to be 18 to get in so was a real treat for him and he adores massages . I think it was one of the best days of my year. Chase was so happy to be there with us and loves massages and anything relaxing. We were all so close and was so cool to be the three of us. So many good chats and tons of laughs. Farts in dark! Lol! Was a snowstorm that day so went above and beyond in every way to make this day happen including abandoning our other two pissed off kids ! Was such a winter wonderland in those outside jacuzzis with snow on our heads and freezing when we got out. Minty wet saunas, relaxation rooms and  dark ( farty ! ) rooms



Dec 30 the five of us spent a great evening by the fire opening the coveted time capsule. Words cannot even express that evening of joy and tears too as hubby read his late dads long letter to his great grandson. Or I  read my grampy 2 and dad's letters. A whole other full post on this magical night


Jan 6 is his huge 18th bday party. Was supposed to be at a rented cottage but didn't work out and we all became too nervous that the place would get trashes even with a hired bouncer So.... It will be at our house . First real party. 40 teens .i am so scared and anxious about this i am actually sleeping at my moms that night .as a gift to chase i am removing myself from this chaotic seen and putting it into the hands of his capable and much calmer dad to supervise .omg

The 18 ways in which this son of ours has impressed me:

1- he is a person of high high affection and love. He shows it all the time to the people he loves and makes them feel like a Million bucks


2- he knows himself and is very self aware . He is aware of both his strengths and limitations  and works on developing both. He knows his patterns, his moments of weakness and how to overcome them

3- he is an in incredible  older brother and provides a wonderful example to follow. He cares and worries about the safety and well being emotionally and physically of himself and siblings

4- he is HILARIOUS and everyone knows it.


5- he is gorgeous and charming. Now even older woman think he is hot and tell me ( yuck! ) this guy will never ever have a problem attracting girls ( or woman )


6  when he cherishes you -he will cherish you forever and treat you  like a queen. He will be the best  husband and father on earth

7- i love how he has found his passion in macro economics and is acing this!


8- he has a huge passion for downhill biking and love the way he can talk about bikes for hours on end


9- love the way he wears clothes and looks so good in them and gets so attached to them


10- Coco. Need i say more ?



11- love how he has a true bff for years now. My adopted son really. Love that relationship


12-i love how of all the three kids- he takes me the most seriously :) asks my advice all the time and guidance and actually listens to it!  Bases his life on so many of the values we have taught him over the years. And when he makes decisions that differ from what we would have preferred he does it with respect


13- love and admire the way he handled his breakup from an important and long relationship wit kindness and grace and caring and courage. And how he has moved on with acceptance and resilience and a great start over attitude. Nothing is more attractive for future relationships than this amazing way he handled it all



14- his dark curly wavy think hair is so gorgeous and his big green eyes



15- he is so smart and brilliant and love the way he cares about his marks and always improving them. Has huge street smarts too and high high emotional intelligence

16- love the way he listens to rules and respects them. And speaks his mind when rules are outdated or useless and provides alternatives. He helps us a lot in raising the other two  kids and always has been the most caring older brother.


17-love how athletic he is and exceeds at literally any sport he tries or does . I remember a mom sating to me once " any sport he touches turns to gold even if he has never tried it before "
True .


18- most of all i love the way he loves me and the way he lets me love him as his mom . I am not sure  i have ever felt a love so complete or loved anyone so completely in this way. It is so so unique as a relationship and i never expected this in my life . It is a pure gift . He is the finest they come.




Happy 18th b-day our beautiful  boy. Love forever and a day. Fiercely and forever.

Mommy

The joy you bring to us is beyond words Chase....

Bear is a SkiBum!

During the holidays Bear completed his certification from Quebec Ski Federation. He is now an official ski instructor!!! Such as accomplishment after years and years of lessons and trainings and concluding with three intensive full days over the holidays of interviews, testing of technique, theory and lesson style with children.

He passed! With Flying colors too and had an A plus on all categories!

He went the next morning to get his uniform (coolest ski suit ever!) and had a meeting with all the instructors and staff. That afternoon me and Hubby and Beauty went skiing and I saw this gorgeous guy giving me a discreet little wave and I waved back hesitantly having no clue who it was  (I am not joking at all) 2 mins after he left I realized that was our son!!!!!!!!!! I did not recognize him in the full ski instructor gear!!!!

He looks amazing and so cool. Amazing to see him with a big group of friends at the hill (something we have wanted for our kids for years now and have not had). He is into the whole Garceu party mode with his initiation starting Jan 9 with all the instructors.. a whole new world for him as up until now has not been to a real party (at his school parties usually begin more towards grade 11 )So proud of him! We literally all got out of the car and jumped for joy and hugged him when he passed (and I fell face first in the snow!)

Yay Bear! He now joins the ranks of his older brother as an instructor. This is Chase’s last year of this so they will overlap by a year. Already at the dinner table the conversations have been taken over by Bear and Chase discussing skiing and who is who as a monitor etc. Beauty will be a monitor hopefully next year and for now is taking a full year of the pre-monitor program. She is sad to not be on the competition team and a big adjustment for her but we need her to focus on marks and competition too demanding for winter with the school and level she is at.

Bear joined the ranks of the BEST job in the wold that pays literally hardly any money (AS IN LITERALLY HARDLY ANY!)  But is a job so many teens want that they don’t even care.

It has been a job house around here this holiday with Chase having been hired at the Auberge around the corner on call. He went twice already and was a full waiter with zero training! With alcohol serving and everything! He loved the huge tips and was pretty proud. Bear and Beauty will be backups to him if he is not available which is also kinda cool as fits perfectly being on call with our cottage life and schedules up here.

Chase now had worked: half a summer at Dirtcamp and three weeks for his old high school as a concierge and in the bookstore. He was a ski monitor all last season and now this season again. Now works on call in the auberge and has been hired as a full time bike instructor (and away 8 weeks!) next summer.

Now Bear as a ski instructor too and in summer will be away 5 weeks to do his certification to be a full time sleepaway camp monitor. Also completing his Sauveteur Nationale last course next semester to be an official lifeguards.

Things are moving around here and changing! I am so proud of these kidsJ

PS-Chase’s 18^th bday post will be posted later today