Sometimes I wish that the three days leading up to my
period I could just dig a hole and climb into it or ask my family to move out
of our home and leave me alone. (Until I started on a light medication 6 months
ago which is a miracle drug. I used to have this feeling half the month by the
way)
Yup heard me cleary. 15 days of this crap for the last 2
yrs since have turned 40. Now 2-3 days only thank god.
My mood is so bad now 2 days before my period I actually
hang a sign on the fridge monthly to warn the family of the date (not a joke).
It is a bit awkward when my son’s friends ask why there is a big sign that says
“Stay away Sept 28” but it is worth the
mild humiliation to be able to provide adequate warning.
I just can’t stand you all on those few days or stand myself
either. Yesterday I was actually sitting on a boat in the sun reading a good
book and I felt nervous, jittery, and anxious, bored and like hitting someone.
It’s ludicrous to be a woman I tell y’a. I had no idea what to think or feel. I
am seriously afraid of the day my daughter gets her period. Of the decades
ahead of this likely genetic instability. I find her moods hard to deal with
now…imagine after her menses commence???
So all that today after a peaceful, sunny gorgeous
weekend with my husband and my two quietest kids (one stayed home last minute
at a friend’s house) I came home to my not quiet son who had cleaned the house
and made dinner for us all. And within minutes friggin ripped his head off
(almost)!!!
Note: pls don’t be disrespectful to me the day I am
supposed to get my period. Pls don’t push my buttons and pls don't not look at
me when I am talking to you. My husband must also have his period as he nearly
ripped his head of too. And hell just today I was thinking how well life is
going. Guess not!
(PS I secretly love hearing my husband yell at the kids
as only happens about three times a year and makes me look more normal and
nice).
As tonight as I go to bed I just pray there is blood in
my underwear by the morning so I can feel remotely human again. If this doesn’t
end soon my family is going to (fucking-sorry!) fire me.
Reminder:AND PS IF YOU DON’T LIKE THIS BLOGPOST JUST DON’T
READ IT.
And PSS I feel like the WORST Mother on earth today. I am
so stressed about my daughter’s exam yesterday that I am losing it. And I am
getting my period. When I get like this I am unbearable I agree. When I feel
love for my kids too much (like the exam worrying) I turn on them-it totally
sucks. When it the normal part of the month I can control myself but period
times I cannot. No self-control whatsoever.
And no ability to apologize as too tiring and too much
energy needed. And it’s going to happen right over again next month so why even
bother anyways?
But it is kind of liberating not to always feel like I
have to be a great Mom. Today I am not so deal with it. Yesterday I was not so
deal with it too. Tomorrow I will be good again. The next day probably great.
And Hey I am sorry…having three kids almost 12, 14 and 16
yrs is not always easy. The hormones in the house are raging and I include my
husband who I firmly believe is going through male menopause. (moody, sweating
at night, talking in sleep, disagreeable, clenched jaw, more body hair)
YUP it is a FRIGGING zoo around here people!!!!!!!!!!!
