Our three kids started school this week. Usually this is
bittersweet for me…they are often grating on my nerves after 9 weeks home and I
am happy to get them back into routine, but on the other hand the routine of
waking up early, and school supplies and schedules is lethal. I always find it
sad for summer to end officially with the return to school.
This year was different.
They did not grate on my nerves at all.
I did not want them to return for school. Yet another
part of me was thrilled to see them all starting again. I was plain excited for
them.
So here they are:
There is something so beautiful about this picture for
me. I adore it.
And here they all are each individually. My babies who
don’t look like babies anymore.
Hubby and I were just discussing this morning how if this
is what the teens years are: we love these years. So far-it is truly amazing.
We love watching them become who they are going to be, to experiment, to blossom,
to discover, to make mistakes and recover. I love watching them choose who they
will love, what they want and what they don’t want. I adore being privy to this
process.
I consider it of the greatest honor. Truly. I have never
felt happier as a parent at this stage –or more fulfilled. I feel like there is
not a greater privilege in the world than to watch them grow. Nothing is more
important to me now than being part of this journey.
And I feel so proud of what they are becoming and who
they already are. I feel proud of us as parents as I know there are not too
many feeling like this with teens. I feel blessed and proud and deliberate. I
am in my element right now. This is my thing.
And yes of course I could do a lot less with of the
attitude, and messiness and talking back. The late nights, and scary moments of
uncertainly, and having to pick them up while we are supposed to be sleeping.
There are a lot of hard things about having teens…but don’t aren’t all great
things in life hard?
They are not angels from a long stretch. I think I just
like teens. I like keeping my mind busy and full and challenged and these three
and their friends do the trick for me. It’s exciting and exhausting and hard
and takes lots of effort. Like a great new career or project at work-I love
being stretched. This is me.
And I always think: Will it continue this way? We all
still have a long way to go together and we are far from over with a 12.5 yr
old far from her true adolescence in many ways (and close to it in others). I
see the difference of a real teen of 16.5 and a half way there teen of 14.5 and
a beginner at 12.5 yrs. We are far from over or past the finish line (thank god).
We have a long ways to go-but we are doing well.
And I am so happy to hear myself say that. Because it has
been a damn hard time around here for the last 8 months. Damn hard. Hard
Depressing. I think many people going through what we did and what we are could
have even split up. We didn’t. We held on and are holding on tight. We are not
letting go. One day I will write a book
on this year. All the elements in a row that led to the drama of it all. How it
really was and what it really was. But I won’t until it is all a thing of the
past. From a safe place. We are not there yet.
So for now-life is beautiful. And I am so glad to be able
to feel it. And feel it fully and wonderful fully. Yes it may be fleeting-yes
it may not stick. Yes euphoria goes away. But right now I am happily spent and soaking
it all in. I am taking what I can get and right now I am feeling an abundance
of good.
We have earned this every single step of the way. So if
you think I am lucky, or bragging or patting myself on the back too much….think
again. And GO AWAY!
Here are the moments of my kids starting school in Sept
2014 that I want to remember so much. They all completely 100 percent changed
since school was let our in June and I want to remember it. And the school
where they began (Beauty) and return again (Bear and Chase) is almost a faith,
a religion. An almost cult even. It is a way of life-and protects them and
shelters them, and allows them to grow physically and mentally. It is a place
to grow up and explore and make mistakes, to be passionate and motivated and learn
to love to learn. It is a place with a very specific set of values and ways
–and one we believe in and respect and admire. It is a place that people love
to be because of the focus on sports and dance. You have to earn your keep to
do your thing.
It is their place. It is ours. And it is everything that
I want my kids to learn and be.
Sec 1 2014 Beauty (aka Grade 7)
Semi-professional dance program. 2-4 hrs a day of dance
in curriculum. On program for this year is ballet, flamenco, 3 types of jazz
and contemporary. Then 4 years of bliss ahead of other types of dance. Bliss. Joy.
Bliss.
She auditioned for the first two days of school and was
accepted to group A. Highest elite group! Her dream! In a brace! This gives her
a good chance of being in “la troupe” in Sec 3 which is highly competitive volet
of dance where many become professional dancers. She will have a 1/3 chance. We
shall see.
Dance makes her love this school. Plain and simple. Came
home second day and did all her homework. Arrived at the cottage on weekend and
did homework. She goes there to dance and to dance she has to have good marks
to stay. A win win for all.
She has a million new friends all within 3 days and
adores them all. She adores the four girls she was always five with the same
vigor. High school for her will be dance and friends.
She looks adorable in her uniforms and I love how organised
she is and lays them all out at night
She is hard headed, stubborn, attitude, babyish, sometime
self centered and a handful to live with a lot of the time. The school and
dance will even her out. We are hoping anyways. We can sit back and let the
magic of high school do its work on our daughter
Our daughter…love that girl.
Bear Sec 3
Hardest year or science and math. He says will be the
best year of his high school
Sports program at its peak with 4 planned overnights
(2-4 night) trips throughout the year.
He is in same defi sport class with all his “homies” aka best buddies. He is
thrilled
All the nicknames he and his friends call each other.
Such a close knit group.
Three months with girlfriend. Too you for sure. But she
is a sweetie and they have a super supportive and loving and communicative
relationship.
Competitive kayak this summer changed his body and his
psyche. I love what has happened.
Determined to win athlete of the year again this year.
Not easy! Good for him for his motivations
This kid is a dream. Athletic, open communicator, high acadimeic
achievement, hard headed, temper. Has learnt to use his words and negotiate
well with us. So far so good! I would take 10 clones of himJ
Chase Sec 5-Graduating year
He has changed the most over the summer. Found his thing-extreme
downhill dirt bike. Found himself and his passion
Girl in his life-another cutie. Shy and feminine. Love
watching them text and communicate and get to know each other. Love that he
actually shares this with me too
Parties, late nights, friends. Some drinking and experimenting.
All responsibly. All openly. Great teen
Best friend for a few years now who is literally a
permanent structure in our home. He’s a good guy and I call him our adopted
son. He grew on us and we have known him since kindergarten (only really spoke
to us about 3 yrs. ago and now won’t shut up!)
Running today in forest 1.5 hrs to prep for 18 km run for
sports program on Friday.
This year’s sports are parcours, snowboard, softball etc..
This program has been amazing with a total of 65 sports learnt and practiced!!!!!!!!
And not just the sport but the maintenance of the sport (mountain biking and
also being tested on how to fix a flat tire on the bike etc..)
I am in love with the man this guy is becoming. And god
is he becoming a man.
Overall this summer:
Tons of chats about sex and drugs and teenage stuff. We
do this well. They tell us we do anyways. Open and trustful atmosphere.
They all know we accept them for who they are and their
friends too. When I do snoop about every 6 weeks here and there on text and Facebook
to make sure all kosher I see it again and again “my parents will love
you-anyone I love or like-they do too” It completely warms my heart
They test their limits. A lot. Lots of negotiations and
disagreeing.
Lots of continued messiness. What can I expect when I
choose leisure over tidiness myself?
They all still pretty much sleep with their clothes on no
matter what I say or how many pyjamas I buy.
They all are harder to get to the cottage but when here
the best side of themselves.
They all know who is right most the timeJ
Our best family times remain at cottage.(actually our
only real quality family time). Yesterday hubby and I on water lying on Bali
bad on the dock and all three came down and the five of us tickled and cuddled.
And laugh and talked. They say silly things like babies like “penis” and then
see if we get mad at them. It’s babyish and silly and hilarious and they get
all red in the face. He smells my hair and says it smells like her, they ask
questions, they tell us about the kissing they have done; they ask us about other
stuff. They trust us. We trust them. Silly boys. I am not surprised they are
being scooped up by girls latterly. Quality guys. And our girl just takes it
all in and watches and joins the silliness in her own way.
Can
I have her to the cottage? I want her to come two days and not one bc I want
you to KNOW her. I don’t want her at the same time as brothers girlfriend as
then they will both try to talk to you and I want you to talk to only her.
I
have a problem there is a trip at school at Easter for sports program and that
is when we are supposed to go on big family trip. What did we do mom??/
Mommy
I am group A!!!! I did it! I am so proud of myself!!! Dance is my life
!!
Mom
after the race we both have to shower so we smell good. It’s ok right if she showers
at our house. And we might take a nap too as will be tired after 18 km run.
It’s ok right?
I am
not eating lunch now . I amgoing for a run in the woods-helps my stress levels
and feels good. Are you proud of my mom???
Mama..
I love you. Thanks for always having my friends over
I am
so excited for this school year-it’s going to be the best.
Seeing then grow, and change and all the fruits of our
labour come to fruition. Some they reject, other parts they accept. They make
us better people. They honor us by being who they are authentically. And make
us more understanding of diversity of who they are not.
Thankful another year has begun and sad to see another
summer go. Wanting every last second as a family of five and praying they will
always come back to us over the course of their long lives
Life is long
Life is beautiful
We booked a family vacation for November school break in
Punta Cana . With Didi too! I intend to have the time of our lives. We a
normally take a two week alone trip but decided this year no time for alone
trips right now. We will only have all three for vacations for a little amount
of time. And can be alone forever. We are giving them everything we have right now.
A race until the finish line we know is looming over is in family time
I know it is a braggy post. Might piss some people off to
read about my happiness. And you know what?
We have been through hell-and back this year. And we are
far from done. (but halfway there maybe?)
We deserve to feel good
We deserve it
This part of life? It’s what I am good at. Some people
are good at other things..other people are good at many things. I am not good
at lots of things.
But raising teens? I think I may have found my thing.
And you know what? I love my thing.
I am in my groove people.
And maybe in a year, or a month, or a week or a minute or
a moment, I will feel differently. Actually I can promise you I will. I will
doubt myself, or feel more stressed, or less confidante in my abilities, or
sadder, or less capable.
(Even behind my sunglasses today there were tears)
But for now….
It’s all a Peach.
