Everyday Ella-Bleu

 

I am timing this post to be published exactly at 7:45am. This is when little Ella’s major surgery begins this morning and will last 4.5 hrs.

She is just shy of 5 years old and this is her second major surgery of her hip and leg. This one will leave her in the hospital for the week under epidural for pain. Then the recovery begins which will be  a total of about 3 months of being in a full body cast, then transitioning to a soft one and then intensive physiotherapy to have her learn to walk again.

This will be really really hard for an almost five year old who is used to dancing and moving and swimming and running and going to daycare. To have to lie down and be immobilized, and be in a wheelchair, and not leave the house much , and be back into diapers etc..

And her parents certainly have their hands full. A 6 month of boy and 2.5 year old girl to take care of too. They are two of the most competent and strongest people I know. Even last night as my SoulKeeper called me…there was still calmness in her anxious voice.

I named our bathroom at Trent “Ella Bleu” because every room got a name. Each is named after someone who helped us get to the at beautiful place. Her parents introduced us to this lake and so I named the blue bathroom after their eldest daughter. PS-it’s a super pretty bathroom and one of the nicest corners of the house.

I called this post Everyday Ella because this family has made it’s way into my heart way beyond big crisis like this one or happy occasions to be celebrated. This family is a forever family. We love sharing our lives together at any moment and being there for each other through it all. Through hearing about the first swimming lesson, to a bad mark at school, to a first nightmare, to a cute thing Beauty says at the table.

It feels so wonderful to share at such an everyday level.

It’s as if I have been given such a gift as my three get older to have these three little ones in my life. I intend to take this role very seriously. Lucky for me their Mom really trusts me and places that trust in me. Little baby was supposed to be with me all of yesterday and Ella will be coming for a weekend to spend with us as soon as she feels better for fun and sleepover. My daughter is taking her two days off from school and going to babysit Ella in the next weeks to let their Mom get out for a workout at the gym with the baby in daycare. We have promised to teach their kids all to waterski at our cottage while they steal away for couple weekends as soon as the baby turn 1. They would do anything for our kids and have offered to be mentors for our teens (not a bad deal considering both specialize with troubled adolescent boys!)

So right now at exactly 7:45am……my darling Ella-my thought are nowhere else but on you. Not on my child who told me he is discouraged, not on my husband to whom has a lot going on right now..not on my Mom who had some difficult news..not on myself for whom things have been tough for lately. My thoughts and vibes are only for you.

And it will stay that way until you are out of surgery at about lunchtime today safe and sound. I am of course wearing my lucky charm necklace today especially for you.

And you will hear more about Ella! When I visit her over the months ahead even time I am interviewing her about her experience  and recovery and will take some great pics to post to this blog.

I am excited to make her feel like a little model!!!

Is there a Cost to Contentment?

I consider myself really very very lucky. Mostly because I have an excellent Mom. I can call her anytime about whatever and she will listen to me, sometimes even fix it, help me, provide some great perspective and sort me out.

And she is extremely calm when she does this. Nothing rustles this Bird’s feathers, nothing. She is calm as a cupcake that one. It’s weird how genetics work eh and that none of that seems to get passed down to me? I am still hoping and banking on it having skipped a generation and luckily landing upon one of my kids.

(No it seems that I get to have some of my Dad’s more anxious nature. Although I do like to think there is a big difference between someone who cannot put gas in a car (me) and someone who cannot cook a piece of toast or put a seatbelt on (him!) Sorry Dad! I know you would heavily approve if I was making fun of you for the purpose of good literature (my blog).

So all that to say…The Bird….(I think I might call her that here and now on this blog sometimes since she often chooses to pose like a bird in pictures, my Dad called her that and nothing ruffles her feathers). …she and I had a good discussion today about contentment and how to view it in life.

I honestly cannot imagine a life without my Mother…it is a really super scary thought to think about. I need her. She needs me. Eat fibre and green beans Mom and stay alive forever ok???

We discussed how for some like me expectations of life and happiness are very high and long term strategic thinking and planning are also very high. This can often lead to increased stress, more disappointment, more boredom and more energy focusing on the future. It can also lead to a lot of great times, great jobs, great relationships, good money, living a life according to values etc. It makes the future less scary and ambiguous to take steps to set it up the way you want to see it. It has a lot of pros and cons to be this way depending on how you look at it.

One of the major cons is what if you plan for beauty and serenity way far off and then you croak before that serene moment? Or you get super sick before it? Then you missed out on a lot of here and now moments and a lot of future moments too! Like saving for your life for your kids to go to University and the them deciding to go travelling as a circus act. That is a whole lot of trips and dinners you missed out on because e the future was so important right?

Than you have your “here and now and moment” people who focus on less stress and lots of present joy and happiness and are overall much more content it seems. (My Mom partially fits into this category and partially does not-she is not clearly in one category or the other but if I had to choose one it is closer to this one.) These people often don’t think too far ahead because it tends to stress them too much. Often things happen or don’t happen as a consequence of their action or inaction and things appear they may not want in their lives but they were not able to fend these things off because they were busy being happy instead of stressing about preventing those things.

Now….if the person is not able to accept the consequences of their non-long term planning states (unlike my Mom who is very peaceful about most decisions she makes) then I think the person is not able to feel peace at their sometimes un-invited circumstances then there is the issue aka ”why did this happen to me??????” Because you did not plan for it not to happen!!!! You did not “frontload enough” (I invented this term).

But these more peaceful people get to enjoy the moment for everything it is worth and get to have it with them always. Those moments are theirs and cannot be taken away even if they die the next day. They were already had and not only “planned” for.

So I will be striving to be somewhere in between the two as I have for years and how my Mom often is too more and more as she gets older. Somewhere between the two depending on the situation and the importance. For this we are the same like mother and daughter and my mom also has many many, many lists and many many many baggies withh twist tied essentials in her purse just in case.

I would like to be the type of person who gets banana shampoo for her birthday and runs up to the shower that instant and slathers it over her hair. Instead of writing it on a list to use on the next special occasion three years from now. Right now I am neither-I fall somewhere in between just like many around me do.

So the question remains “does contentment come at a cost?” and yes I think it does. I think we need to work at it just like everything else in life and weigh for us personally how much is good for us and how much can prevent us from further longer term goals that may ensure contentment is equally balanced across the many stages of your life in this world. And like anything. Everything in moderation is perfect and contentment, joy and peace are no exception.

But then again have you ever heard of anyone saying they felt too happy?

I still hold that there are a few things in life that, no matter what, make me feel; supremely happy. That don’t need to be planned for…they don’t cost anything and they don’t need a strategy.  And one of those things will always be talking to my Mommy on the phone or in person and letting her wisdom wash all over me. Letting her take care of me….the way I need to be taken care of. Letting it all in.

And dreaming of the day when my 3 little chickadees call on their Mamma bear to help sort them out too And you can be sure that it will be my highest priority to be there for them, and plan for that day accordingly.

 

 

Me.

I realized a few major weaknesses of myself this week and thought it might uplift you a bit if I shared them.

I like to be really honest on this blog and so try to seize the opportunity when I can to highlight some really honest and quirky stuff about myself. Since I often can brag about this or that that I do with my kids, or take pride in something I have worked really hard at, I like to even it out with good old doses of reality…Mostly so I never have you thinking that in any way is the grass greener over here.

1-I have never been a stress eater. Never binged. Don’t really associate food with much except plain old yummy. Well this week I was at a super stressful (and quite boring) meeting at work where I felt I had made a few “faux pas” so I got stressed and was also sick of all the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So at the break, I went up to office and literally stuffed my face with a brownie super quickly.

It was really, really gross and piggish and dumb. I felt like I was a farm animal.

2-I have been conscious of trying not making as many lists lately and so instead I procrastinate. This is new for me as I never do this. I just write my lists and do them and cross them off one by one . But with the absence of lists…I just find I just dont feel like doing what I know needs to be done so I just procrastinate and try to find something more pleasant to do.

I find it so unproductive not to have a good list to cross off. It makes me feel empty, bored, depleted and disaterous.

So I went to the bathroom at work and hid in the stall and completed a huge list(without a brownie)  there so no one could see me or make fun of me. On the toilet with the lid closed. I did a list and then felt like I could come back and deliver properly and be high performaing again. The fact is no one cares if I make lists or not they just care if I deliver. So who am I hiding from excatly?

 

3-Ok here is the final one…and get ready this is super humiliating for me and embarrassing. I won’t blame you if you just stop reading my blog entirely.

I don’t know how to fill a car with gas

And worse yet I don’t care to learn (isn’t that so princess- like and lazy and stupid?)

So anyways in our house we each have our chores and responsibilities and my husband’s is ensuring that both cards are filled up with gas weekly. Ever since service stations pretty much have no service, this division of tasks is essential. I just don’t do gas.

For about a decade this has worked seamlessly. The other day it did not. I was running out of gas. Why you may ask? Because HE forgot to do itJ I was picking up older son from school and realized I would not make it back. So I panicked. Thank god my son was there to learn with me. I still did not really learn as I made him do it and I just stood and watched for his moral support since he has no clue either.

Together we figured it out. I did not feel proud or accomplished. I felt resentful actually. Of my husband and of my son. I think boys should be born knowing how to do this and don’t need me standing beside them helping them.

There is just something about a girl dressed in a nice suit and coat and freezing her ass of in -35 degree weather that does not sit well with me. I just don’t want to do this. I feel like I have 99 percent of crap that falls on me (ok ok my husband does a lot of crap too-maybe even 60% if I am honest!) but I somehow just feel like it is my mortal right not to have to EVER get gas,

So call me what you will. I can assure you my Protector does feely. Call me spoiled and lazy and queen bee, and entitled and whatever you will.

But also include honest in there please?

And the next time I “forget to” plan a social event like New year, or a family get together, or a kids birthday and I ask my husband to personally call all the people on the invite list on the phone-let’s see if his bloodpressure goes up a tad and if he starts feeling a tad angry at me? Let’s see if he wants to do that? Putting gas in car is the equivalent of my husband chatting up a friend on the phone out of the blue. He does not do it and I don’t do gas.

It was quite cute seeing Chase at the gas tank though. On the way home he said “We did it!” Yay for us. He said “Why don’t you look happy you know how to do it now Mom?”

Conclusion of my weaknesses and Bad Mommy moment combined :“Because I am a girl and girls don’t do gas that is why.”

Yup. There it is.

Are you still there?

 

 

 

I Love Having More than One Kid

Why you may ask??: Overall I love that THEY have a life together completely independent of their lives with US. They will always have each other and this below example this week just brings it home for me entirely.

Scene: Beauty tells her Dad and me at 9:30pm that her class has a “recompense” activity the next day and they are allowed to bring candy. She says-can we go to depanneur now? And when we say no it is way too late she literally and completely starts bawling like a 2 yr. old and having temper tantrum full force that lasts a long long time.

So: In our house this type of behavior is unacceptable and will get you nowhere. Once you choose to act this way all rational discussion are off the table and you are left on your own until you calm down. No solutions are provided, ideas etc... We are often very strict on this and although sometimes heart wrenching for us to enforce we are most often found sticking to our guns.

Then: Beauty goes up to bed and is stilly crying in her bed. Her Dad and I quickly align and decide that our daughter:

1-   needs to learn from this experience

2-   will not be going to the depanneur with us at 10pm tonight or 7am in morning

3-   That it needs to be reinforced that a lack of planning and having a childish out of control tantrum will not be encouraged and enabled

4-   All this results in no candy for Beauty unless she can find an old candy cane around the house somewhere

(This is where healthy living sucks for our kids. We only have treats at our cottage on weekends-there is not good stuff lying around ever Mon-Thursday)

Conclusion: So Mommy goes up to bed and uses Love and Logic approach and quietly holds crying child and rubs her backs and listens to her reasons about how life is terrible and how she only gets a recompense 3 times per year and life is unfair and how she tried to call me at work at 4pm but I had the audacity to be in a meeting and she did not feel like leaving a message and blah, blah blah..

I repeat “Ya it sucks..Ya it sucks many times over. I make my eyes look really empathetic. I fake appropriate sympathetic body language.

Then I tell her that the reason she has not candy and no solutions is that a) she was not organized and did not give this proper thought before 9:30pm when it was too late and b)-that her behavior and tantrum made it impossible to find solutions together that could work. Her crying blocked out possible negotiations, solutions and brainstorming (i.e.: her having a note to leave at lunch from school to store, her walking to school early in morning and getting candy, her calling a friend and buying some candy from them etc..)

So basically she went to bed totally sad, miserable and broken. I felt really really bad but also felt really good that I had been a good Mom instead of a good Friend to my daughter. Exactly the job I have been hired for. (did you know that I read a study last month that is a renowned Harvard study and clearly states that if before the age of 6yrs. kids are not given equal doses of nurturing/love and discipline /limit setting) that there is more than a 61% percent chance that as adolescents they will have a massive rebellious periods and as adults very likely deal with anxiety and lack of self-confidence!!) This is the third study I read on this subject of the importance of limit setting in kids this year! Enough to convince me to deny my kid candy while holding her close in my armsJ)))

Continued: I leave the room and she is pretty calm. I leave her in a state of  deep learning and thought

And then: Her oldest brother comes in the room and hands her over his Christmas bags of Skittles and Lifesavers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not just one pack-but three packs!!!! For free! No strings attached!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He overheard the conversation (who could not at that level of volume!!) and he said his heart was breaking for her and that he just had to give her his Christmas Candy. All of it. It was a gift from the depths of his eternal heart.

And her little tiny face…had a little tiny smile that crept up every so daintily and replaced her frown and tears. I am not sure I have ever seen such love on her face (or on his). They literally leaned into each other’s arms and hugged and hugged and hugged for many moments as I watched and listened from outside of the door.

Never interfering. Or commenting. Because that is also my job as a Mother.To watch them unfold. And love each other. And be there for eachother. And to let my son be her Prince in Shining Armor. To  allow him to save her from me.Just like my brothers did for me plenty a time in my childhood.

Lesson for Mom: And so THAT is why I love having three children. And her posture today quietly and proudly walking off with her three packs of Skittles to school in her hand, the shy smile still on her face…I knew that she was rich. Rich in spirit because she learnt her parents limits and  even richer basking in the wide extent of her adoring brother’s love for her.

And that moment is mine and hers and his forever on many many levels.

Different Lululemons

I was reminded today how our lives seem to change after the age of 40 yrs old for women.

It’s funny because before you turn the big 40 you really don’t give the “other side” much thought at all. For me it’s always been just a number, just a phase of life.

Youth is defined by the way we feel and act and look and not by the age we are right?

But somehow I find this age does change most of us. And it is never really expected. It is sort of a bit like a truck hitting you-you don’t think about it often and don’t entertain the possibility much. When it happens you are left a little surprised, to say the least.

I am starting to really understand why woman in their 40’s and 50’s keep talking about how much wisdom they have and how these are really the years where they mature, and start being more peaceful and understanding their lives more. Many 40 plus something say it is the age of increased wisdom.

 

Ya…that is true. Because the age of increased beauty seems to be slowly but surely decreasing. No wonder we get to have more wisdom!

No offense to anyone over 40 reading this post….but I think we all look different after 40 somehow. The heavier ones, the skinny many ones, the blonds, the athletic ones, the sexy ones, the shy ones. All of us.

Somehow after 40 no matter what, skin looks punchier, butts look bigger, butts look flatter, hair has less shine, moles are more noticeable, tummies protrude, and eyes look wrinklier, lines on face more noticeable.

I recently saw a girl at a party that was purely gorgeous at 38 yrs old two years ago and this year at 40…she just looked like a middle aged woman in a short sparkly skirt trying to act young!

(Ok if I have not depressed you enough by this point you are strong! I am depressed myself just editing this post!)

But wait! Wait! It is not all bad ok??? I am getting to the good part..see how impatient you get past 40 on top of everything else???

I really honestly and seriously believe that at this age we start believing that beauty is truly skin deep. We start being more beautiful inside and therefore our beauty on the outside is enhanced by this inner beauty.

Yes this is very true indeed.

Our beauty changes at this age but so do our hearts. And don’t get me wrong we are all still rocking and attractive chicks! Terms like MILTF apply to us even if disgusting terminology!  And we still deserve to be called Yummy Mommies. We earn our titles well beyond 40. We are still super cute!

 

But still something happens at this age. No matter how good our bodies might look other woman start looking at us funny if we wear a bikini at the beach, no matter how sweet and how beautiful our eyes are and how long our legs are…younger men begin flirting with us less.

 

Somehow telling a younger man that you have a 15 yrs. old is just not that sexy is it? Or that you are desperately saving for three College educations? Or that you are proud of your boobs that still hold their own and seem to defy gravity most days of the week?

Somehow at this magical age we become more honest with ourselves and who we are. We become more honest with others around us too.

We no longer play the “I am adorable don’t you think?” ticket L((

We leave that to our beautiful and youthful daughters to do in our place now instead.

So that is why after 40…when most of us start feeling slightly less attractive; that we heighten our other assets in mysterious ways.

 

I am kind! I volunteer! I don’t beat up my husband when he falls asleep in Greys  Anatomy! I recycle! I think twice before buying 5 purses for the same season! I teach lots of values to my kids! I am a good citizen! I eat fruit!  And flaxseed!

Well yes of course you do Missy! These things are essential now that nobody is looking at your butt as you walk down the hall. They are all judging you by your actions and personality and decisions. What a pressure!!!!!

Step it up Girl!!!

Now is the time you see some woman becoming more religious, more involved in the community, fighting for causes, becoming better friends, applying to be plus size models, accepting the world around them..Accepting themselves.

And I know it sounds a bit odd all of this but it all occurred to me this morning when at the gym I saw a bunch of thirty years old with little kids under 5 yrs. old working out in their flashy hot pink tops and their black lululmon pants looking great and filled with pride that their babies were at the gym daycare not crying.

Then another group of women in stretchy tshirts and equally nice lululemon pants (one size bigger) with not as much nail polish on and ponytails not as straight and combed high….talking about other stuff than kids. Politics, the penny coming off the market. Life.

 

Neither was better or worse. They were just different. And I started questioning myself where I belonged? Somewhere in the middle of them I hoped. When I did my crunches in front of the mirror, I longingly looked into the mirror and missed the girl I was…but also felt pride and wonder at the woman I am becoming. I gave myself a silent pat on the back for having grown up.

 

Mostly I felt in awe. That age could be so important and so significant. In awe at women in general and everything we all have to offer at any age.

And I thought about all of my friends and women in my life all over 40 and contemplated that now we all have the whole package. We are beautiful..we really, really are. Don’t you think?

 

 

 

 

Reframing Mondays

I  will remember yesterday for many years.

Not because the penny went out of business.

Not because it was my middle son’s 13^th birthday.

Only because it was a great old ordinary day that was somehow extraordinary. And I have been having a whole lot more of those lately. And I convinced it is not coincidence.

Yesterday before lunchtime all in a row a number of things happened one after another, simple things…that really gave me an emotional high. As I stop to ponder why I was the recipient of so many highs in a row without caffeine, drugs or other reasons….it occured to me that I am reeping the benefits of a whole lot of hard work that has been going on in the last few years.

My highs yesterday included: a beautiful email from my friends mother about my blog and a post I wrote and how it affected her and a bunch of childhood memories, chicken nuggets homemade and dropped at my door for my son for his birthday by a great friend, an ultrasound picture sent  to me by a  good friend and colleague who lost a baby at 16 weeks and is now pregnant with a healthy baby, a text from my son’s friend from school saying “He is happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” updating me about the surprise note I left in Bears’ bag, and a calendar filled with many ways and dates to help one of my precious Bff’s as she plans for her daughter’s difficult surgery next week.

Some of these events I was receiving kindness and others ones I was giving kindness. Many were a pure mix of both. Giving and receiving fluidly. Making time for kindness and life really instead of racing through every moment with stress and exhaustion. Plowing through beautiful moments are what we do often do isn’t it?

I think a lot of it happened when I changed my Mondays. Really I do. I believe nothing in life is luck..it is all deliberate. You very often get exactly what you deserve in life as harsh at that may seem. You do the work you get a star-you don’t you get a hard kick in the ass. I have had my shares of both stars and ass kicks so I know what I am talking about.

Mondays used to be the worst day of my week by far. Lots of clients and lots of work and on the personal side a lot of crap around the house to do. I hated Mondays like most of the world. Sunday night my heartrate would rise….

I decided to change that about a year ago. I decided to make Mondays what I stand for. A mix of everything I do and everything I am. A bit of a melting pot. To do this I had to extend my normal 10 hr day to about a 15 hour day but that is fine. Although I can’t say I love Mondays yet or look forward to them ,I very often however have a good feeling on Mondays now even though they are exhausting and hard. I feel accomplished both from a personal and professional point of view. I feel like Mondays is an integration day for me.

It is the one day of the week I focus on my own company for a part of the day, I now also every second week focus on my corporate job for part of the day to allow for replacement time at less busy times (a win win for me and corporation), I often write a bit of my book that day too.

On the personal side I make myself available to kids between 3:15-5:00pm as impossible as that seemed to be a year ago. I drive them wherever, pick them up for whatever and am a chauffeur mostly for those 1.5 hrs. I sit with them when they come home for 15 minutes each and share a yummy snack. I make time to sit with them for dinner where it used to be Mondays was our “eat by yourself night of the week”. Now they make dinner and I eat it. I asked my Mom, who used to help out on Mondays with homework and cleaning and errands, not to come anymore and the house stays dirty or I clean it a tiny tiny bit. I exercise mostly that day at 7am out for a walk and hit the gym.

My days on Monday goes from 6am-10pm and so does my husband’s Mondays. He usually gets home at 10 pm. And then we sit on couch and fall asleep. But I am actually starting to like my Mondays. I have a Monday spirit now.

Also what I do on those days is text a bit and speak on the phone a bit, and plan our special family rituals. I go over my list of priorities and fit fun stuff in for the month ahead with friends and family. I plan all my projects and work. I fill up my (non obsessive 400 lists) with matters of the mind and heart. I make time for a cup of tea (ok I hate tea, a cup of diet coke) and I make time for a bit of heavy meditation (ok heavy breathing at the gym). I go for a walk and pick up a yummy sandwich on my way home and help others with their lives.

By the end of that day I have done a whole lot. And more importantly a whole lot I am proud of.I keep its rule to fit in at least one things that always falls to the bottom of my to do list no matter what.Yesterday it was keeping a chart of my cholesterol over tithe last 6 yrs. and my blood pressure too.

(Next Monday I get to babysit a beautiful 6 month old yummy baby boy all day and evening while his sweet sister has surgery and stays in the hospital all week. I am thrilled to offer help. I have cancelled anything and everything else. I am all hisJ)) Acts of Service make me feel alive and complete. Love in action).

So all in all I think good things came my way because I have made some space for them and invited them in in varying ways. I also have made more space to notice them and the joy they bring me. To stand up a notice among them hectic and chaotic nature of lives with careers, and kids, bills and responsibilities. Focus on what matter. Focus on the awesome list.Be grateful.

And I am also learning to be kind to myself and my shortcomings. To give ourselves pats on the back more often. Two years ago I promised myself that I would step out of my comfort zone and bake my kids a cake on their birthdays. Each year. That is the least I can do isn’t it? But you know what the truth is I hate baking. Even the boxed cakes. And each time I tried, I felt bored and restless and resentful. Try serving that up for your birthday child on their special day?

So this year I basked in what I AM good at. Driving the friends around after a surprise, handing out 50 bucks for a treat afterschool, preparing an icecream bar with skor  bits and smarties over oreos. Joking in the car and laughing with my son about sex and drugs and how stupid those choices are.

Being there in the life I have. With what I have got. With the qualities I am blessed with. Forgiving myself for not being everything to everybody all the time. Reframing Mondays to include work and delivering and performance and joy and fun, and due diligence. Giving myself the space and moments to feel and to thank and to give and to love.

Giving myself space to grow. And time to give back to those I love.

Watching myself and being aware of the world and its abundance around me.

Letting myself gratefully and gracefully soak it all in. And most importantly teaching my kids to do the same.

 

 

 

 

 

It's My Bear's 13th Birthday Today!

Happy Birthday My Darling!

 

 

He’s officially a teen today. Although I have been calling him a teen for the last year he is only really one today.

And I am sooooo excited because I planned a little surprise for him and I love surprises and so does he. In his backpack is a note that his buddies will tell him to look for at lunchtime at school and that note invites him and two of those friends for Thai Express and depanneur afterschool paid for by us. A second note on his door this morning invited him to a fancy lunch with his Dad and best buddy on Thursday to be picked up and dropped off at school. He will be thrilled.

I figure if for Jewish boys 13 is a wedding- like event my boy should have a couple of lunches out and be spoiled a bit too no?

My fave part of planning this little surprise is that I loved texting these two new friends I have never met behind his back. It was so fun! They were so appreciative and excited-it was if I was offering to take them to a concert and Fireworks after and a ski in the mountains!!! They were so cute and sweet and wonderful. They kept texting me all week thanking me and telling me how excited they were to  see Bears’ reaction. He has wonderful, polite, smart, mature and incredible new friends at his new school and I am happy for him. I am excited to meet these kids today-they sound so nice.

Bears bday incuded early morning wake up to gifts and basket in bed, surprise on the door Thursday lunch with Chibou and Daddy,  ice cream bar tonight’s special snack since can’t celebrate for dinner until Tuesday since in 2^nd day of semester end exams and he is cramming away.

Specially prepared and delivered homemade favorite chicken nugget surprise. By the sweetest of friends who has plenty on her mind moving across the world in a few weeks but still has the heart and time for this sweet gesture for BearJ (can't wait to see his favce on this one as he loves kind and lovely gestures like this)

Tuesday night family dinner with Didi and five of us for “Raclette” Yummy! Cesar salad, nachos as an entrée and homemade brownies for dessert. Didi's traditional gift bag and maybe a session of Scrabble Slam? A massage at the spa to top of this special year. Of course his bdayb yearly tradition: a pillsbury chocolate cookie baked in a pan as one BIG cookie

Since he is 13 and that and 16th are big years in our minds….this year is a big party year with friends., We will wait until Spring when the snow has melted and he will have his Paintball party where his friends are invited to pay half the tarif and us the other half. Will have two minivans full of kids and the rule is more than 85% have to be new friends to encourage stepping out of comfort zone in the first year of high school. It works! A combination of a few of his awesome friends from gradeschool and a bunch of new kids we get to meet.

So Bear we love you so incredibly much. You are a good boy, a great son, a great friend, you have calmed down with the girls a bit hallelujah and you look amazing with your braces on. I am so happy that we fought and prayed and worked and strategized re Defi Sport as you told me the other day that it has made you love school and that you could not even imagine not being into Defi Sports and that it is the highlight of your existence (and I knew how important this was for you). You were worth every single ounce of energy that went into thinking and worrying about this after your emergency surgery even if everyone around me thought your Mom was nuts to care so much about school). You and I get it eh Bear?

I wish for you all the health, happiness and success that you so deserve in your 13 yr and beyond. I love watching you love life. And I love all of your friends-they are perfectly suited to the guy you are and you all deserve eachother.

To minimal migraines, more eggs, more sleep, good grades, lots of sports and muscles and to all the smiles that make you who you are Bear!!

Love

Mommy