I consider myself really very very lucky. Mostly because
I have an excellent Mom. I can call her anytime about whatever and she will
listen to me, sometimes even fix it, help me, provide some great perspective
and sort me out.
And she is extremely calm when she does this. Nothing rustles
this Bird’s feathers, nothing. She is calm as a cupcake that one. It’s weird
how genetics work eh and that none of that seems to get passed down to me? I am
still hoping and banking on it having skipped a generation and luckily landing
upon one of my kids.
(No it seems that I get to have some of my Dad’s more
anxious nature. Although I do like to think there is a big difference between
someone who cannot put gas in a car (me) and someone who cannot cook a piece of
toast or put a seatbelt on (him!) Sorry Dad! I know you would heavily approve if I was
making fun of you for the purpose of good literature (my blog).
So all that to say…The Bird….(I think I might call her
that here and now on this blog sometimes since she often chooses to pose like a
bird in pictures, my Dad called her that and nothing ruffles her feathers). …she
and I had a good discussion today about contentment and how to view it in life.
I honestly
cannot imagine a life without my Mother…it is a really super scary thought to
think about. I need her. She needs me. Eat fibre and green beans Mom and stay
alive forever ok???
We discussed how for some like me expectations of life
and happiness are very high and long term strategic thinking and planning are
also very high. This can often lead to increased stress, more disappointment,
more boredom and more energy focusing on the future. It can also lead to a lot
of great times, great jobs, great relationships, good money, living a life
according to values etc. It makes the future less scary and ambiguous to take
steps to set it up the way you want to see it. It has a lot of pros and cons to
be this way depending on how you look at it.
One of the major cons is what if you plan for beauty and serenity
way far off and then you croak before that serene moment? Or you get super sick
before it? Then you missed out on a lot of here and now moments and a lot of
future moments too! Like saving for your life for your kids to go to University
and the them deciding to go travelling as a circus act. That is a whole lot of
trips and dinners you missed out on because e the future was so important right?
Than you have your “here and now and moment” people who
focus on less stress and lots of present joy and happiness and are overall much
more content it seems. (My Mom partially fits into this category and partially
does not-she is not clearly in one category or the other but if I had to choose
one it is closer to this one.) These people often don’t think too far ahead because
it tends to stress them too much. Often things happen or don’t happen as a consequence
of their action or inaction and things appear they may not want in their lives
but they were not able to fend these things off because they were busy being
happy instead of stressing about preventing those things.
Now….if the person is not able to accept the consequences
of their non-long term planning states (unlike my Mom who is very peaceful
about most decisions she makes) then I think the person is not able to feel
peace at their sometimes un-invited circumstances then there is the issue
aka ”why did this happen to me??????” Because you did not plan for it not to
happen!!!! You did not “frontload enough” (I invented this term).
But these more peaceful people get to enjoy the moment
for everything it is worth and get to have it with them always. Those moments
are theirs and cannot be taken away even if they die the next day. They were
already had and not only “planned” for.
So I will be striving to be somewhere in between the two
as I have for years and how my Mom often is too more and more as she gets
older. Somewhere between the two depending on the situation and the importance.
For this we are the same like mother and daughter and my mom also has many many,
many lists and many many many baggies withh twist tied essentials in her purse just in case.
I would like to be the type of person who gets banana shampoo
for her birthday and runs up to the shower that instant and slathers it over
her hair. Instead of writing it on a list to use on the next special occasion
three years from now. Right now I am neither-I fall somewhere in between just
like many around me do.
So the question remains “does contentment come at a cost?”
and yes I think it does. I think we need to work at it just like everything
else in life and weigh for us personally how much is good for us and how much
can prevent us from further longer term goals that may ensure contentment is equally
balanced across the many stages of your life in this world. And like anything. Everything in moderation is perfect
and contentment, joy and peace are no exception.
But then again have you ever heard of anyone saying they felt too happy?
I still hold that there are a few things in life that, no
matter what, make me feel; supremely happy. That don’t need to be planned
for…they don’t cost anything and they don’t need a strategy. And one of those things will always be talking
to my Mommy on the phone or in person and letting her wisdom wash all over me.
Letting her take care of me….the way I need to be taken care of. Letting it all
in.
And dreaming of the day when my 3 little chickadees call
on their Mamma bear to help sort them out too And you can be sure that it will
be my highest priority to be there for them, and plan for that day accordingly.
