I will remember yesterday for many years.
Not because the penny went out of business.
Not because it was my middle son’s 13th
birthday.
Only because it was a great old ordinary day that was somehow
extraordinary. And I have been having
a whole lot more of those lately. And I convinced it is not coincidence.
Yesterday before lunchtime all in a row a number of things
happened one after another, simple things…that really gave me an emotional
high. As I stop to ponder why I was the recipient of so many highs in a row without
caffeine, drugs or other reasons….it occured to me that I am reeping the
benefits of a whole lot of hard work that has been going on in the last few
years.
My highs yesterday included: a beautiful email from my friends
mother about my blog and a post I wrote and how it affected her and a bunch of
childhood memories, chicken nuggets homemade and dropped at my door for my son
for his birthday by a great friend, an ultrasound picture sent to me by a good friend
and colleague who lost a baby at 16 weeks and is now pregnant with a healthy
baby, a text from my son’s friend from school saying “He is
happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” updating me about the surprise note
I left in Bears’ bag, and a calendar filled with many ways and dates to help one of my
precious Bff’s as she plans for her daughter’s difficult surgery next week.
Some of these events I was receiving kindness and others
ones I was giving kindness. Many were a pure mix of both. Giving and receiving fluidly.
Making time for kindness and life really instead of racing through every moment
with stress and exhaustion. Plowing through beautiful moments are what we do
often do isn’t it?
I think a lot of it happened when I changed my Mondays.
Really I do. I believe nothing in life is luck..it is all deliberate. You very often get exactly what you
deserve in life as harsh at that may seem. You do the work you get a
star-you don’t you get a hard kick in the ass. I have had my shares of both stars and ass kicks so I
know what I am talking about.
Mondays used to be the worst day of my week by far. Lots
of clients and lots of work and on the personal side a lot of crap around the house
to do. I hated Mondays like most of the world. Sunday night my heartrate would
rise….
I decided to change that about a year ago. I decided to
make Mondays what I stand for. A mix of everything I do and everything I am. A bit
of a melting pot. To do this I had to extend my normal 10 hr day to about a 15
hour day but that is fine. Although I can’t say I love Mondays yet or look
forward to them ,I very often however have a good feeling on Mondays now even
though they are exhausting and hard. I feel accomplished both from a personal
and professional point of view. I feel like Mondays is an integration day for me.
It is the one day of the week I focus on my own company
for a part of the day, I now also every second week focus on my corporate job
for part of the day to allow for replacement time at less busy times (a win
win for me and corporation), I often write
a bit of my book that day too.
On the personal side I make myself available to kids
between 3:15-5:00pm as impossible as that seemed to be a year ago. I drive them
wherever, pick them up for whatever and am a chauffeur mostly for those 1.5 hrs.
I sit with them when they come home for 15 minutes each and share a yummy
snack. I make time to sit with them for dinner where it used to be Mondays was
our “eat by yourself night of the week”. Now they make dinner and I eat it. I
asked my Mom, who used to help out on Mondays with homework and cleaning and
errands, not to come anymore and the house stays dirty or I clean it a tiny
tiny bit. I exercise mostly that day at 7am out for a walk and hit the gym.
My days on Monday goes from 6am-10pm and so does my
husband’s Mondays. He usually gets home at 10 pm. And then we sit on couch and
fall asleep. But I am actually starting to like my Mondays. I have a Monday spirit
now.
Also what I do on those days is text a bit and speak on
the phone a bit, and plan our special family rituals. I go over my list of
priorities and fit fun stuff in for the month ahead with friends and family. I
plan all my projects and work. I fill up my (non obsessive 400 lists) with matters
of the mind and heart. I make time for a cup of tea (ok I hate tea, a cup of diet
coke) and I make time for a bit of heavy meditation (ok heavy breathing at the
gym). I go for a walk and pick up a yummy sandwich on my way home and help
others with their lives.
By the end of that day I have done a whole lot. And more importantly
a whole lot I am proud of.I keep its rule to fit in at least one things that
always falls to the bottom of my to do list no matter what.Yesterday it was
keeping a chart of my cholesterol over tithe last 6 yrs. and my blood pressure
too.
(Next Monday I get to babysit a beautiful 6 month old yummy baby boy all
day and evening while his sweet sister has surgery and stays in the hospital all week. I am thrilled to offer help. I have cancelled
anything and everything else. I am all hisJ))
Acts of Service make me feel alive and complete. Love in action).
So all in all I think good things came my way because I
have made some space for them and invited them in in varying ways. I also have
made more space to notice them and the joy they bring me. To stand up a notice
among them hectic and chaotic nature of lives with careers, and kids, bills and
responsibilities. Focus on what matter. Focus on the awesome list.Be grateful.
And I am also learning to be kind to myself and my shortcomings.
To give ourselves pats on the back more often. Two years ago I promised myself
that I would step out of my comfort zone and bake my kids a cake on their birthdays.
Each year. That is the least I can do isn’t it? But you know what the truth is I hate baking. Even the
boxed cakes. And each time I tried, I felt bored and restless and resentful.
Try serving that up for your birthday child on their special day?
So this year I basked in what I AM good at. Driving the friends
around after a surprise, handing out 50 bucks for a treat afterschool, preparing
an icecream bar with skor bits and smarties
over oreos. Joking in the car and laughing with my son about sex and drugs and
how stupid those choices are.
Being there in the life I have. With what I have got.
With the qualities I am blessed with. Forgiving myself for not being everything
to everybody all the time. Reframing Mondays to include work and delivering and performance and
joy and fun, and due diligence. Giving myself the space and moments to feel and
to thank and to give and to love.
Giving myself space to grow. And time to give back to
those I love.
Watching myself and being aware of the world and its
abundance around me.
Letting myself gratefully and gracefully soak it all in.
And most importantly teaching my kids to do the same.
