The Happiness Project

It’s rare I read a book twice. Probably never.

I just however broke my own rule and read “ The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin again. A good friend of mine just finished it and has been discussing it with me so I figured I wanted to brush up on some of it again so that she and I could discuss in more length.

I am so happy that I read it again. I absolutely loved it.

By the same token ,certain concepts that bothered me very much and there were certain chapters I could not wait for to be over.

A paradox. Makes it all the more interesting!

Overall though I was left with a sense of “Wow!” just like I was the first time. This is the type of book that can inspire anybody. It has an awesome way of just putting things into the simplest of terms and making us feel that anything is possible. It’s a book that appeals to ,I would imagine , just about anybody in the world and that is why I like it most. It is written for the masses. Almost guarentees success by that very fact.

I admire things that bring in a lot of money. This having been on the New York Times  Bestseller list over 2 yrs now I am imagining it is racking in the dough. Combined with a high traffic blog... I would say that Ms. Rubin must be feeling pretty cozy by now. She has done really, really well.

What I admire of her most is her ability to do what she loves, do it well, make money and do goodness in the world. She has changed so many lives by this book.

I know she has changed mine. Just today I sat and wrote my own happiness project for my life (which took me 1 hour compared to her 1 year by the way-lol!) I am very confident I will be putting this into place the minute I get home (weird characteristic of mine to “save “happiness  for real life and not start immediately on vacation? Wonder what Gretchen would think of that?)

The book hit me as one of the most practical, fun loving self books I have ever laid my hands on. For me its success is purely in its simplicity. There are many components of the book that I outright dislike  and which I will talk about later , but overall I think it is a must read for anyone wanting to live a more deliberate and fulfilled life. It is for those of us who don’t want to let life simply happen to us. It for us who want to choose as best we can how it happens and  how we live our daily life.

The part I liked the most was one of Rubin’s Secrets of Adulthood.:

What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while”

Love it!!!!! Honestly this one phrase totally reframed everything for me in my own life. I am highly successful at all the once and a while stuff...a true winner. It’s in the everyday stuff that I need help with. It’s applying success to everyday that has baffled me (until now).

For work that part have always come easily to me, I can succeed everyday at work. On the home front I am much more inconsistent. I have not yet nailed it down. I need development not on Passion or Precision, but on Persistence (more on the brilliant  6 P’s in a different post).

I immediately made a list of the 10 things that I will now ensure I do daily to ensure happiness. Not some days-but all days (unless I am really sick and in bed or 1 day a week I will give myself off and holidays) See again...weird me to want to take a forced break from what makes me truly happy?

I also loved Gretchen’s “Identify the Problem” concept very much. If taking a shower takes too much time after a workout and stops you from doing it-don’t stop the workout-find an activity where you don’t need to take a shower. If cooking a meal 3 times a week seems overwhelming but you love the idea of cooking-get your husband to cook and cook one delicious meal a month but don’t abandon cooking all together.

I also clearly identified with “Give Proofs of Love “So often I feel so much love in my heart but don’t give signs. I feel a smile but keep it for myself. Have a silly thought and don’t share it. I need to let my inside, more outside, more often. I need the people I love most dearly to know I love them not just by my thoughts of them, or words, or bigger actions but by smaller daily ones. I am a big picture kind of person...and often it is the small stuff that I forget.

What I found difficult about this book was that it was too academic in my opinion than it needed to be. I was very tired by the end of the countless cites and quotations of all the happiness research that went into it. I wanted to hear about Gretchen’s happiness project and felt bogged own by the many references to the studies, and philopshers and research that she had done.

Although very interesting at times I felt like this author-did not claim her territory enough in this book and relied on the thoughts of others much too heavily for such a simple self help type of book. I felt she appeared to be justifying her own thoughts and feelings much of the time-as though they belonged to others and not to her. By the end of the book I wanted to tell her to seriously lighten up already. Just smile..and write about..but stop researching and studying how to smile. Just do it! Your smile is yours and noone else’s.

I felt she did not give herself nearly enough credit for her thoughts and perceptions. I felt she was way to humble and needed to stake her territory a bit more.

Another thing about the book that bothered me at first was the “Be Gretchen “part. I felt that it came through in the book that there were clearly things about herself that she as not happy with and that she wished were different but that she did not stretch herself enough to change them or alter them-she focused more on acceptance.

However by the end of the book I felt very in harmony with the “Be Gretchen” part” I felt it was vulnerable, believable and logical to understand and accept our own innate natures and go with the flow of them instead of trying to change them. I came to peace with not always having to be in the stretch zone to be successful. She taught me something  very valuable there.

Both times I have read the book I have had a strong desire to contact the author. There is something there. An exploration maybe?  She and I have a lot in common. I actually felt both times as I read the book that she stole MY book!
However, I know as clearly as day that she is the one on Oprah, and she is the one with a second book on Happiness coming out, she is on the best seller list, and she is a genius as far as I am concerned. Who knows what my imagined book would have been? She was brilliant enough to get there first. Congrats and Kudos go to her.

I still feel there is a connection there. I feel like she and I are destined to meet one day although likely polar opposite people from the sounds of it. Her happiness project would make me miserable by the same token that mine might make her jump of the nearest cliff.. Something there nonetheless...

 I may simply want to tell her: (and give her a big hug at the same time and alot of recognition and she is too hard on herself)

"If I were you Gretchen..I would press Jamie more for those gold stars. I mean quite frankly-you are a prize to be cherished, honored, and sought after and adored. I mean look what you have achieved Madame? Not only are you widely successful-you have changed the hearts and minds and soul of millions around you with your power, intellect and generosity. Trust me..Jamie needs to give you those gold stars. Demand them.-you are worthy of every single one your heart cries out for. Go ask him for then now”.

All in all a great read. Extremely well written and practical. I am not surprised that thousands flock to this woman’s blog nightly. She is humble, she is generous in sprit, she is savvy and she possesses an intellectual and a critical mind. She has written a book that is every bit as useful as it is fun to reread and easy to apply. I have no doubt that she has touched people’s hearts across the globe with her candid, vulnerable and practical approach.

Great book Gretchen! I will use this over and over again in my own coaching of clients and refer this book to many I come across.

Thank you for especially making me aware that my next step is taking it to another level-the daily level to achieve on what is left to tackle in my own life. You have inspired me to focus on areas of my life that I have not succeeded in before.  I will guarantee you that in 6 months from now I will have made tremendous strides. First time in my life I believe I can make change in these tough areas that have been on my resolutions lists for years. How did you do that????

As you say so eloquently “Do what ought to be done” “Do it Now” and “Enjoy the Process” .

Maybe we are more alike than I think.

I would give you some serious gold stars if we meet one day. You can count on that.