Little Girls

 

They are so not little anymore …but in my mind they still are.

I have 5 of them at Trent this weekend for Beauty’s all weekend skiing bday party (plus our two boys of course). It is wonderful.

I remember wanting a girl more than anything in this world since I was a little girl myself. I did everything possible to make sure that happened .I got the girl. Then I realized for many years that having a girl is very very similar than having a boy (very different too-but so so so similar in the closeness and love you feel for them). I would say in some ways I am a better boys mom even than a girls mom. This was weird for me for years having yearned for a girl for so long and then having her and seeing her almost like a boy? Not much difference?

But I seem to work backwards than the world around me with my kids. Whereas most cherish, adore the baby and young child stage ….and then find the teen’s tween stage turbulent and difficult: I am the opposite. I love love love the baby stage but then age 18 months to about 7….like but not adore…7-12 easy peasy for me…and tween and teens (so far anyways) adore although admit very difficult. So far newborn and this stage are my faves.

And the whole girl thing follows suit..it it NOW that I see the whole why I needed a daughter so badly thing. It is so fun to see Beauty get gifts we can share! We go to Target together and shop! I love staying up late in bed with her friends and making each other laugh! I love that she is growing little boobies!!! (In a total normal way..just so cute!) I love talking to her about being in love with boys! I love that we share shoes! I love that . I love it all.

And most of all I love watching her friends and her grow. It has been one of my deepest pleasures in my life. I love these 5 girls from the bottom of my heart.

They are all here this weekend “the girls” who I have talked about so often. Since grade 1 they have been a clique that is indestructible despite its many ups and downs. Beauty has many many other friendd but when it comes down to it it is always always the 5 girls. It still is. And I adore them. They are the kindest sweetest, most self-confident, most beautiful, adorable, sarcastic group I have ever seen. These girls have some serials talent and some serous balls and they all have their unique roles in the groups. I feel so honoured to watch them flourish so closely over the years.

This weekend is no exception. All total ski bums and many competitive skiers and après ski experts in the Jacuzzi. Rolling in the snow in their bikinis with hot chocolate afterwards by the fire. Making video starts after video stars. Movies. Zebra themed decorations and dinner. Cupcake decorating after dinner and the colors they made! Turquoise form the ocean, lilac of flowers, sunshine petal yellows….the decorations on these things OMG. And they take their time and effort to do it perfectly ctly and well. I love girls.
Chase who missed many days o school because of his eye injury got them all to do his art project while he studied for 4 exams. It was hilarious and he was so impressed with their amazing work. Four years younger but all so artistic. I allowed this:)

 

Then I hid the elf which was the hit of the night. Treats Balz held and little notes of love for each of them with what I love most about each girl. They treasured this. Then we all got in my bed at night and I made each of them laugh and we had a contest who could hold out the longest. Pretty much all I have to say is “pee poo or bra” and they lose right away! Or my fave””don’t mess with me Cassie!  Or “Wanna take this outside Charlotte????” And I pretend I am mad at them and make my face all mean. They all lose it right away!

And then this morning they are up and doing skits (did this all my life) and are pretending they’re brides and grooms. Snowbalz the elf proposed. This goes on for hours and hours and hours. The plays, the dances, the music, the; laughing. These girls are my definition of true true BFF’s. . I don’t think you could get better than this or closer if you tried.

And then I feel sad in my heart as I always do when I feel joy. When I feel such closeness. When I see it and experience. It was no different last night….I loved every ounce of those girls..and then in my heart I know it will change …I know it will take a different form. I almost left my bed because it saddned me so….I almost didn’t want to invite them back because I knew that one day they would not be as close as they are today. And for some reason that feeling wants to make me run far far far away.

But I don’t. and I allow the joy to wash over me and my life because it is here right now. In the present. And it is my daughter’s joy to hold and to change if it needs to.

Maybe it will change in highschool. It probably will and it probably needs to as a clique has many advantages but some disadvantages too and can limit them growing with others .Change is always going to happen isn’t it? It’s one thing in life that hurts me when I love what is already there.

Anyways I am so desperately happy that I have a girl. I see what it brings to my life and it is something I need for whatever reason that is and something I always needed. I am glad I knew this about myself.

Last night the girls played a game and included me where they talked about in what ways they were similar to their Moms and in what way they were different. It was so funny to hear it all from their perspectives as I know all their Moms very well. Going to bed that night Hubby and I also played the same game and talked about the similarities and differences we see in them with their Moms both in looks and in characters.

And then we talked about Beauty. We are very very different. We also out of all my kids have the hardest time emotionally together in some ways. But at the core..and the core gets stronger every year..This is totally my girl and we have so much in common.

The top three:

1-we know what we want in life and go for it and nothing (literally nothing) will stand in our way

2-We are both very “natural” girls. We will choose skiing over nail polish. Our hair will be our pride but can be stuck up in a messy ponytail most of the time. We can wear mismatched clothes at the cottage as well as we can wear a fancy dress that we slip on and walk out the door in. My daughter and I are two pees in a pod for this style thing. We either have a lot of it..or we have none of it at all (and seem to be able to pull it off!)

3-Deep friendships are the music of our lives. Friendships take front seats alongside many other important things in our lives. We both have a ton of love to give and to receive.It was always like that for me (and still is) and it has always been like that for Beauty (and I imagine always will be)