This last week as I am in the process of personally feeling
that the earth has been pulled from beneath me…my kids are a whole other story.
My
kids are superstars.
Yes I am pulling out my bragging rights (it won’t last so
don’t worry). These kids seriously impress me these last few weeks. For one in
school. OMG. All of them are just so dedicated and organized. We give no help
to anyone of them ever….and two out of three are doing harder work in high school
than I did in University. They run the show –all of them when it comes to their
academics. Occasionally they ask us here and there to test them on the 400 concepts
they have to memorize for science but they are totally autonomous and doing
really well. And this is something that they created for themselves (and with
our training and training for yrs. on the skill of autonomy). It did not always
come naturally to them. They all rock.
Pomegranates. Ya the fruit. We buy about 10-12 a week
now. Ya the fruit that takes 20 minutes to prepare before you eat it. My daughter
sets her alarm 15 mins early every single morning and eats one. She declines
social events afterschool to come home and eat another one. The boys are
picking up this habit too now. Pomegranate is a popular nickname in our home.
Which brings me to Greek yogurt. Especially lime and pomegranate
flavor. Ok I am almost poor at 1 dollar a little container of yogurt. I kid you
not Chase eats five per day every day. The other two eat two a day. They love
Greek yogurt. I am poor.
Which brings me to Elves. Yes we hide him most days
before X-mas like the rest of the world leading up to Dec 25, but it is my elves that make the biggest difference.
Earlier this year we went from housekeeper 1.5 days per week to a cleaning
service that comes in only once every two weeks now. There’s a gap there of a
whole lot of laundry, a lot of tidying, dishes, toilets to be cleaned and gifts
to be wrapped. Especially that we have two homes and go back and forth weekly.
There is a huge pleasure of having four season cottage but also a big sacrifice
of time and energy that goes into maintaining it.
My family has stepped up to the plate and I feel my heart
full of pride. I told you it is a bragging post! I don’t care if I come off
today arrogant…I need to be uplifted right now and I will be in writing this.
The girl wraps I tell you! And folds! Beauty!! OMG! The other
day I came home and she had cleaned the entire kitchen (dishes unstacked,
stacked, fridge cleaned out, all Tupperware’s sorted and put way) without being
reminded. Last night she offered to wrap Xmas gits and they look like Martha Stewart
has wrapped them. Her folding is getting better daily..the girl handles loads
and loads of laundry by herself and folds dancing happily to music.
And Bear….well he started with owning two zones and now
he just owns them all. Bear is a power machine. Everyone should have a Bear.
And Chase well he studies. A lot. And does his little 3
chores. But then on weekends and holidays we put him to work and his favorite
are cleaning toilets surprisingly with rubber gloves on (who has this as their fave?).
And he loves vacuuming.
All that to say losing the extra help was one of the
hardest logistical things we have done in a while. It changed the way we run
the family and homes completely. But like anything else difficult it has been
an amazing thing too..to see my kids access the elves in themselves and give
those parts and skills in them the space to flourish. I find domesticity very
creative in many ways..very artistic…my daughter makes it all like a dance in
many ways-I love watching this (and don’t get any ideas that she does not whine
and complain..She does) but when she realised she has not choice she does it
very artistically. And although I am no
domestic goddess by far…I have “a domestic flow” going that I have never had in
my life. And I quite like it too-shockingly. There is nothing that can keep
your mind off of problems better than working your ass off at work and then
coming home and working your ass off at home. And then sleeping.
I love seeing the
seeds we planted so carefully for so long growing. Becoming. Being. It’s like
everything I had hoped for my kids is happening…in the school work, the housework,
the autonomy, the confidence and especially in the pomegranates.
If
you want that yummy fruit-you must put the effort and put up with the mess. You
need to work at it if you want it.
Live on Pomegranates!
PS-thank you to all close to me who lovingly wrote me
about my post “Falling from Grace” Very subtle of course to protect confidentiality,
but very real. Your tenderness makes the difference and your confidence in me
too. I will come around soon and bring you in. For now the falling is the place
where I need to be. Landing is next.
