Chase..is a package deal
Bear ..is a package deal
Beauty is a package deal.
I read this expression the other day in a parenting book
and it jumped out at me. Resonated with me a lot. The same book where I stole
the term “collecting your child”. Love them both.
See tonight we have our usual Friday night. This one a
bit different though. Not only does Bear have his girlfriend here…Chase also
has the girl he likes here too. It’s a meet the parents BBQ (well one we already
know well! And it was initiated by the kids. Miracle.
Beauty was supposed to bring a new friend too-but she (thanks
god a “she!”) had to cancel.
But it’s odd I tell you. Fun. But still odd. Finding our place
among all this novelty-figuring out how much alone time is ok and comfortable,
them testing the limits. Us setting our barriers. Learning to live in a different
environment. Watching our steps…not being too permissive or too strict. Finding
our way with these growing teems. Asking lots of advice from friends who have
been there or heading there soon.
But overall-if you know our kid-you know us. You can’t be
close to them in this family without letting us get even a little close to you.
It’s an impossible feat. We will be in your face, and ask you about your life,
and be interested in you and get to know you. It’s what we do-and you are no
exception. Get ready to be cherished if you are cherished by our kids.
Our kids are all inclusive. And as we collect them. We
will collect you too. So get ready girls! And boys later on-(way way later on
we hope).
Neufeld is an attachment parenting expert. Both highly
regarded and highly critized. Many of his views world renound but some (lots!)
very extreme “ Not having kids have peers more than a few minutes a weekend? No
sleepovers? Co-sleeping breastfeeding past toddlerhood? Home-schooling? Certainly
not for everyone-but I think many agree that holding onto your kids is a number
one priority in life for those who want to stay close. And an absolute
necessity in adolescence to strategize just how to hold on exactly as it is
certainly not evident.
So yes I will allow my kids at 17.5 yrs to have a party
at our place maybe, will even probably allow a bit of alcohol there at that age
if I am honest. But I will also be behind the BBQ with my husband with aprons
on (ok..ok..He will be in the apron on BBBQing-who am I kidding?). But I will
be serving mocktails with a really cute
appropriate dress on with clunky flip-flops and a nice bracelet. And sure we won’t
stay the evening and crash the party-we will head up to our room after a while
and sneak with binoculars to look out the windows. But we will be involved any
and every way we can I tell you. And will be mighty hard to get rid of for those precious moments. We are involved.
Yet we also respect their privacy.
Package deal
Holding on.
Tightly wrapped and tightly wound.
New territory and a little scary-but we can do this.
We will figure it all out soon this new land we live in
And once we figure out that land? We will collect them
again and live in it together.
For now? It’s all a big puzzle.
A puzzle we are trying hard to get good at
