Lately in reading
blogs I have been realizing that blog writers in general stick to one style of
writing, or preferred subjects, or topics to talks about. Every few months it
may (or may not) shift. But lots of the blogs I am reading lately seem to be in
a rut.and the blog writers are assuming we love those topics they discuss but
really we are getting bored to tears
Including my own blog
of course.
Lately (well all of
2014 actually!) I have been in more of a"poor me" space-how hard life is
and difficult, how great my kids are, how much I love my
family, all the wonderful beaches we go too Lalalalala. I am boring
myself even writing these blogs-I cant even imagine being you and reading them.
Well it’s time
for something different today people.. Get back to my other style of writing –the lighter
funnier side of me.
Disclaimer: if ever I am divorced and dating this blog post must
not be sent to any of the many young guys I am going to sleep with ok? Or guys
of any age for that matter?
Here it goes:
I have had a problem
in the last few days.
It sounds quite
simple and clear-but really it is a bit messy (literally)
I have a cough
A bad bad cough.
And when I have a
coughing fit ( which in the last 3 days has ranged from 2-85 times over the
course of 24 hrs).
I PEE MY
PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes I birthed three
children
Yes I have heard
woman say that when they sneeze some pee comes out sometimes
But how many times
can a human sneeze in a day?
You can cough an
awful lot. Trust me.
The other issue? I am
not a stay at home Mom
Nor do I have a job
where I sit in my chair a lot
I go to many meetings
and often am found presenting very important presentations in front of large
groups of important people.
Yes well the other
day let’s just say my office chair was not light gray anymore L( It
looks black. PS how do you tell the cleaning company who washes your office
that you peed your chair????
I have been trying to
make all meetings in my office instead of standing up, and wearing black pants,
and changing pajamas no joke 6 times a night but I am encountering a few
obstacles along the way I must admit:
1-I don’t own enough
underwear to get through this (and I am now on a strict budget)
2-I only have 4 pairs
of black pants (on the positive side I did have 6 pairs but lost 8 lbs in last
2 months so now only 4 fit!!!). Skinnier but full of urineL
3-Beige pants don’t
do well with pee
4-Bear refuses to do
laundry anymore as he says it always smells like pee now
5-Often people at
work ask to borrow my conference chairs and now I can’t let them and have
to be come across really mean ,and give no reason like “no I don’t like lending
out my chair!)
Tomorrow (this was written thursday) I have the
HUGEST day of my career with the most important people. Thank god today I have
only peed my pants once.
I have now gotten
smart enough to wear maxi pads. By the weekend I might be in DEPENDS.
I never thought being
43 would look like this. It is wet and yucky.
How’s that for
not bragging, being diverse and making you laugh?
Anything to
share with me???
PS-Today is Saturday now and my cough has lessened and the pee part is gone! I am free!!! Although today had to actualy cut a very big and good and funny conversation short with a BFF because of my cough ad could not breathe. I would rather lack of oxygen than urination.
