This week I got my groove back. In so many different ways.
I was happy to find it again because I feel I lost it for a while-and I missed
it.
We all have seasons in our life don’t we?
This week everything kind of came back together for me.
To the secure and good place it was before and maybe even to a new place unexplored-to
be determined.
So what am I talking about actually? I am not even really sure myself. Everything just sort of pieced
itself back together this week in my life. 2014 has thrown me and my family in
such a loop it is very hard to articulate to others. So many balls in the air
at once on major areas besides of course all the other things everyone has in
life like colds, and failed exams and renovations and new jobs and finances to
deal with. Life goes on but those three major things being juggled in between
in the air has been a real challenge for me and my family. And it is very very
hard to understand unless you have been through stuff like this before, and have
major things going on at the same time. The health of your child especially I
cannot even begin to tell you what it does to parents lives when it is threatened.
Nothing else has compared to this experience than anything I have lived before.
So this week I came back into myself. Found a way to deal
with all the anxiety. Started super performing at work again, took on new and exciting
contracts for Lifeworks went to a Christmas party at work alone and danced my
head off.
We had 19 teens over for Friday night for Beauty Bday
between her friends (and Chase coincidentally also had 6 friends over). We all
had a blast-and I realized then and there that I am the mother I have always
wanted to be. I get to have the relationships I have with these 19 teems because
of all the steps prior that I so diligently committed to. Our house was a
mess-it was a big party….three of the boys told me that they loved how Hubby
and I were so free about our house and all do a big clean up later with all the
kids instead of sweating out the small stuff and missing all the fun and
focusing on the tidiness of the house vs the relationships right in front of
us. Made us feel really good that they noticed and articulated that this was a conscious
decision we make. We have great relationships with our kids friends and these
so far have been some of the best years of your lives with our kids (in
general)
I got back to my fashion self. The few lbs I lost is helping
and I felt good Saturday night. Sparkly and felt that feminine side coming back.
I began to care again. My dreams sat night were different and I both cared less
and cared more. I felt like I was back. Like a part of me that has been gone
came back to me. I even wore a wig on Saturday night and had a vodka cranberry
and danced a ton!!!
And my work. This week was a mental puzzle for me. And I
solved the puzzles and mastered them. I was exhausted but proud. Something big
is shifting. And I was headhunted this week too for a VP role for a start-up
(not going anywhere but felt good to be considered and in the game).
Most importantly I learned how to claim myself back this
week. I am a person who cares A LOT. A LOT ALOT ALOT about those whom I love.
And I very easily get into the role of taking on more myself than even the people I love take on for
themselves (hence why I have been in intensive therapy for over a year now
trying to reverse this)This week I started standing up for myself again. Saying
no. Being a bit selfish. Setting my own limits for my own mental protection.
Putting myself first here and there.
This was a good week. And I expect a little bit of what
is in store for me for 2015. Back into the groove. Back to Me.
I
