It felt different this year-everything about it was
different. Different not being a good thing or bad thing-just different. Just
like the rest of 2014-Chrsitams followed suit and had its own unique flavor.
The 24th for la Reveillon I worked part of the
day and then ended up doing errands out all afternoon with Bear as he grew 4
inches it seems in the last week so his boots don’t fit, skates don’t fit and
cross country skis don’t fit-all things required for cottage vacation!!!! We were
on a bigger foot shopping mission (and secretly sneaked an Indian lunch in between at
our fave buffet)
Thank goodness I have an excellent “wife” at home (we all
laughed about this term this week but really I do!!!) He/she basted the turkey
and made chestnut stuffing and mashed potatoes, cranberries, homemade coleslaw –and
basically everything else. Chase had his girlfriend over and was cute to see
him give her gifts (big cozy socks and a big cozy blanket that he wrapped her
up in all afternoon on our new basement couch!. Beauty hung around and
carefully wrapped all her gifts and made beautiful homemade cards for each-she
is so sweet when it comes to stuff like that.
Then I got home and we all made the Christmas table together
and got the house ready for our guests. Chase made us all mad with some really
rude attitude and that was kinda crappy but then we made up and I think he
learnt his lesson as his Dad rarely scream at him and he did. Nobody likes that
as it is such a rare occurrence (when I scream nobody even notices as happens so
often!)
Hubby’s niece and her two girls and nephew and his boys and my mom came. It was a smaller Christmas
than we usually host but very nice and intimate. Because we are only 12 people
we got to sit down in the dining room all together at the table. We did the traditional
turkey dinner this year whereas usually we do the French cuisine. My mom in
last few days has gone from barely functioning much to functioning with still
lots of headaches and lots of rests
which is a step in the right direction and we pray continues as has only been
three days of this newer transition in her concussion.
We had a great and lovely night. Spontaneously at 10pm
Hubby gathered up a big gang and they went to the mass at the Catholic Church
in the village which he often does on X-mas with one of our kids each year. But
this year he had a whole gang with him and that was fun. I always stay home to
fill the stockings and clean up the whole place (which was also his parent’s tradition
so he likes this as then I go back to being the wife). Chase and our nephew
opted to stay home and bond over video games and my Mom stayed in and took a
rest. I loved that is was so spontaneous and free each member of the family
doing what was best and fun for them on that special evening. It was symbolic to
me and special that we juts all went with our own flow.
Back at home around midnight guests left and we the six
of us did pyjamas for the kids tradition (we decided not adults this year) and
then started a new tradition of Hubby delivering a Christmas message to our
family. This year he talked about traditions and the meaning of them and talked
about his childhood and x-mas eve. It was 1:30am by the time everyone got to bed
and then 2:30am by the time Hubby and I wrapped the final gifts and debriefed
in bed about the evening. We love our pillow talks-it defines us as a couple.
And you know what? All the above was done over sparking pomegranate
cider and non-alcoholic beer. Which was certainly a first for us and our
guests? It was interesting to analyze the night from that lens. If I let my
mind go there and we allow our selves to speak about it freely-there is a whole
lot to say.
Christmas morning was at 9am and we all huddled in our
bed with my mom and went down to the tree together. Kids stockings first and
then adult stockings one by one and then gifts with a break in between for cinammen buns and fruit salad. And it was all very lovely and calm and happy. Three teens
give a new flavor to Xmas for sure-very very different. They were all very very
happy with the gifts they received which made me very pleased as I took a lot of
care and attention this year and also significantly slenderized our Christmas spend
and so was happy to see them all so happy. It was a really nice and calm day
and the afternoon was spent playing with new video games-wearing new clothes
and hanging out with my Mom. Turkey sandwiches for lunch over my new candles
Chase gave me.. I loved all the little
stocking stuffers our kids gave me: lip balm and a new cup for shakes from
Beauty-candles that light up electrically from Chase and “after eight” mints
from Bear. Simple and perfect.
As Christmas evening crept closer my melancholy set in
which it often does. And it is not because Christmas is coming to an end-I
really don’t care about that part. It is perhaps bc Christmas night we rarely
have anything to do while so many friends and colleagues I know celebrate days
on end around the holidays. It always reminds me of how small our families are
in most ways with having lost three grandfathers over 6 yrs. and the fact that we only have one parent alive (my Mom!!) who
is single and so all of the hosting is done by us. Christmas night always
reminds me of what we don’t have-where
the 24 and day of 35 remind me of all the blessings
we do have.
On Christmas night we often feel alone and different. I
miss my Grandpa and our Grandpapa Max. I miss that feeling of being invited
over to a cozy dinner at someone else’s home to continue the festivities. I
often feel sad and this Christmas was really really melancoly by 5pm for a
number of reasons above and beyond this for all of us I think in different ways.
We gathered the kids and packed again and stopped at Thai
express and Tim Horton’s for a pathetic lonely dinner. Then got at cottage and everyone
fell asleep on the couches in front of TV’s or fires. It was a hard night I
think for all after a beautiful Christmas celebration. It made me realize
something has to change-I am not sure what it is yet but I know it is
something.
And then we slept and slept and slept and slept and this
was the good part. We all woke up
happy and refreshed and feeling good again. Hubby and I woke up at 11:49
am!!!!!!! Chase and Beauty got up around 11:00are and Bear just woke up at
1:19pm!!!!! This never ever happens-it was shocking!!!! We declared today “Lazy
day” everyone gets to be on their phones-computers-TV’s reading-whateverness.
Love it. (Minus a cross country ski and walk to the bakery for fresh bread and
a family Jacuzzi and a game of Clue). Parents are going to serve kids tonight
and make fajitas and cupcakes and clean the kitchen too no kids helping.(that
never happends either!) We are all very very content again today.
I woke up to my husband telling me how much he loves me
and snuggling me with a back massage in bed holding me in his arms telling me
he wanted to stay in bed all day with me. This felt good as we have been a bit
distant as of late and has weighted heavily on my heart. I felt loved again
(partially) today by my Guy. It made everything brighter for me.
Christmas 2014 was wonderful. And a bit sad too. And different.
And unique. It felt comforting and familiar-as well as distancing and a bit alienating.
In actuality it was exactly what our 2014 year held. And at the end of it
all-we are our family of 5 curled here on “lazy day” which has been exactly what
our year has held true of us too. Less friends-less family-less togetherness
with the outside world (which has been very hard) but our togetherness inside
our family for the five us us has never faltered. It never has
And now onto my fave part of the holidays upcoming-a New
Year!
