Nobody ever said raising teens was easy did they?
And it most certainly is not.
Bear provided us with a moment last night that really
tested us out as parents of teens. Really tested out our resilience and
strength to the maximum limits.
And you know what? We passed with flying colors. So did
Bear.
An hour long hard, embarrassing, difficult, transparent,
wonderful, open, authentic discussions with our middle son. We respected him
and he respected us. It made us feel so good and I imagine him so comforted
that we are putting the relationship between us in front of anything else. We
are not being guided by roles or regulations, values, higher powers or any
other forms of the universe dictating how we should or should not react to such
a conversation. We are guided by our relationship with our unique son and his
relationship towards us as parents.
It was an amazing conversation together. Not easy but
amazing. And we will have more conversations as the end of this week, as a lot for
the beginning of a break
It’s funny as a Mother I can be so bad at the little
stuff in life (bad at coking, often swear at my kids and call then idiots,
very irritable a lot of the time, very irrational a lot of the time, not very
domestic, can be selfish. The list can go on and on and on..)
But when it comes to the big stuff-I totally rock. I
never ever let the ones I love down. I really really really show up when it
matters the most. I bring my best self to the table. I am calm and cool and
collected and mature and loving and caring and reasonable. I show up. So does Hubby.
We are better that the big stuff than the small stuff and it has always been
that way.
Anyways was an interesting start to our March Break. Also
the internet cut now for more than 24 hrs which is also a bit off as these is
the few days we have to watch TV and films and use internet etc. We are taking
two days off this week Monday and Tuesday and not looking like we will be watching
many movies!
We had a great night last night regardless. We always
find a way. Somehow it always works out. What is important is all being
together.
Last night’s discussion with Bear between his Mom and Dad
made me realize everything we have poured into our kids and family life has had
a meaning. It has all been worth it and has all had a purpose. I am not sure we
have ever been so proud and respected our son as much as last night. Or been
prouder of ourselves.
Yet even with this closeness and pride..my heart aches. At
watching him grow, and learn and fall and get back up. It aches to watch him
hurt and to be hurt. It pains me to watch my son learn and handle pain. It
makes me cry to know that life will be hard for him like it is for me. It pains
me to watch my son learn that life is not carefree. And hurts for me to know that
the umbrella that I used to be able to place over his head-is not mine to hold anymore.
In essence, it is hard to have a teenager. And it is
painful to watch. An honor to be part of.
Love you Bear fiercely and forever and a day.
Mommy
