I have gotten a few questions around time management, schedules and kids so will answer below:
1-What is your system for keeping track of family activities, appts etc.. How do you handle the planning of both career and home?
2-How do you ensure you schedule things that are important to you as a family-what is your system?
I have a few tricks for this one that I can share that work really well for me and my family. I can be a very messy person (as in I pile my clothes on my bath or even floor sometimes and my dishes can be found in the sink for 2 days) ..However I am a SUPER organized person when it comes to family order, schedules, planning and time management.
I think my biggest tip as it relates to family and time management is what I call Frontloading. It means that twice a year (usually January and Sept) you plan for success UPFRONT. You take out the agenda and plan out what you want to achieve as a family, your trips, your priorities, your family meetings, which friends you want to get together with, what activities kids will participate in, what hobbies you the adults will pursue, schedule dr appts and blood tests, you record birthdays, special events, money needed for cafeteria at school, school calendars etc..(and lots lots more)
You do this at the beginning of the calendar year and then again at the beginning of school year. It’s certainly a ton of work upfront (trust me I did this my last week of x-mas vacation!) but it is so worth it. And I am very serious about this.
It completely sets you and your family up for peace and success for the entire upcoming year.
I am not joking when I tell you that my Summer 2012 is fully planned and even part of summer 2013 is planned. All with things we desperately want to do. We have traditions with friends and family that carry over year to year and we all book them early to ensure they happen and that we all plan for it that year. It’s a huge priority. I sent an email to our buddies last week asking who wanted to plan for our events at the cottage and we have most weekends booked already and many saved for just our family and our vacation too.
In this fontloading system make sure to make time for your personal family needs and values. Religion important to you? Seeing friends? Democratic family meetings? Family movie nights?
Half of my calendar is filled up with our family traditions outside of holidays which make our family unique. Yours can be unique too-just plan for it!
In terms of systems I keep work and home very separate. I have a Blackberry for work and a paper agenda for home which I manage but we revise as a family every Sunday night at “Family Calendar”. We also have a magnetic whiteboard which captures on the fridge all the fun stuff of that month to look forward to as a family. This board is a big hit with the kids as they feel they can really look forward to these upcoming dates.
Since I also have my own business (Lifeworks) one day a week I have a separate calendar on my computer at home for that. Everything is separate and does not blur. I don’t do Lifeworks email ever at my other work, or personal stuff at work unless absolutely necessary. I never turn on my computer for work during family time when the kids are awake-I wait until they go to bed to catch up on work if necessary. My day where I work for myself is what I call my “blurry day”. I do coaching, personal stuff and often a half day of work for the Pharma company I work for. It’s all blurred and very confusing but a nice break from the rigidity of the other 4 days. That’s the only day you will find me mixing it all up. And it’s fun and flexible I but could never do this on a full time basis.
For me boundaries are very important and knowing what our priorities are and respecting them.
My belief is that if we don’t have boundaries in terms of our schedules, or family activities and our work choices we will never feel balanced or integrated.
So first step is to know what is important to you and second is to make it happen.
Planning and scheduling to me is the biggest gift you can give a family. It allows for ultimately all the amazing, incredible and spontaneous moments in between.
Without it….life becomes chaotic.
Especially if you have more than 1 child and work outside the home. I find it nearly impossible to live moment by moment.
Children in general crave stability and schedules, and I have found in my experience, are much less anxious and much better behaved when they have a sense of where the family is coming and going and what is on the agenda. Whenever I have worked with a family where the child is misbehaving (most all of us right!) or where the child is anxious re seperation etc...more routine and structure in the family are almost always the solution.
So get out those planners and plan away! Its January so perfect timing!
