My Teacher of Beauty was popular last week ! I sent her your comments....she was very pleased to receive them and your questions too. She has prepared a Q&A about Alopecia and this will be posted next week on my blog.
Below you will find her second post. Through knowing this woman I have learnt so much, and gained so much, and changed in many deep ways. I feel glad to have the opportunity to share some of her with some of you in this way on my blog.
Tarina
Grounding
If you ever find yourself in a place where you have lost your grounding, or have begun to believe that you have achieved something, become important or even successful, I have found the solution: Pack up your bags and head off to a remote place with your parents and siblings and lock the doors. There is nothing like family to rip off any stripes you may have thought you had earned in the workplace and put you firmly back into the family hierarchy, your place
Sounds bad, not at all, it's great.
In the family unit, neither title nor financial gain counts. There is a different system and when you are in it you know your place within seconds, you immediately know the rules. Dad is always right, older sister is always wiser, married in male spouses are the butt of all jokes and me well, I am the youngest child who basically doesn't know much about anything. This may sound like a bad place to be, yet it isn't, it is warm and familiar, it is fun and it is accurate, it's wrong yet it doesn't matter. What it is, is a reminder of how it used to be, when you were reliant of others, when you were looking for direction, when you needed help all the time, when you had nothing to worry about as it was all taken care of. In short what it is, is a reminder of what really counts, your contribution to the nuclear eco system that is your family, what it is, is real, and what it is, is love in its purest form.
I have learned over the years, sometimes through teary battles and weeks of the silent treatment that you can not change this hierarchy, no evidence can cause a shift in position nor discussion can explain why that view is wrong, it is futile, it is tiring and it is not effective. Thus my years have taught me to stop fighting and start enjoying it for what it is. This shift was wonderful and I wish I had understood this earlier.
So now that I have had a few days of family grounding, I am ready to step out of it again for a least another year and get back to being who I have worked hard to be after I fled the nest all those years ago. The other me.
I wonder who all the others go back to being?
